Author Topic: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME  (Read 3868 times)

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Offline dyketime4

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I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« on: Wed Nov 30, 2016 - 19:13:48 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

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I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« on: Wed Nov 30, 2016 - 19:13:48 »

Offline Androoo

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #1 on: Wed Nov 30, 2016 - 19:55:34 »
Praying for you for guidance....blessings

Offline foodcooppres

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #2 on: Thu Dec 01, 2016 - 23:51:43 »
I am very glad you feel so guilty.  That is the Holy Spirit speaking, and you are listening.  Have you knelt and confessed to God, begging His forgiveness?  That's your first step, and He promised to cleanse you when you repent.  Read Psalm 51, King David's prayer after he committed both adultery and murder.  God forgave him, and He will forgive you.  See also I John 1:9.  But you also sinned against your wife, and that will be difficult.  While it will hurt her to know, if you keep this to yourself, it will damage your relationship.  She will sense something wrong, and you will be withholding yourself from her.  When you tell her, I suggest you prepare her somewhat.   Let her know you have something terrible to confess to her, and not just blurt it out.  Be sure to emphasize that you love her and there is no lack in her that led you to this.  Beg her forgiveness, and then give her time to process this.  It will surely take her a while, first to take it in, and then to get over the shock, and finally to forgive you and trust you again.   You might offer to set up some ways for her to keep track of you, as reassurance that you are now behaving yourself.  I also suggest some introspection to become aware of why this temptation was so powerful.   It sounds to me that it was your ego, not sexual desire, that was so vulnerable.  Is there a wise counselor at your church, or a Christian counseling service in your town?  If not, you can have a free consultation with a licensed counselor at Focus on the Family, 855-382-5433.  You might also want to make sure you didn't pick up an STD.  I pray that you can find the inner peace and assurance of forgiveness from our loving Lord, and also from your dear wife, and may this actually result in more closeness with her. 

Offline RB

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #3 on: Fri Dec 02, 2016 - 03:19:07 »
How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.
It's a very wicked sin that you should beg for God forgiveness, and he will if sincere with no desire to repeat it again. True repentance is found here:
Quote
2nd Corinthians 7:9-11~"Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter."
I do not know you, so YOU must judge your heart and see IF you meet the fruits of godly repentance mentioned by Paul. Do you have have a vehement desire to NOT put yourself into that situation again? A godly man FLEES from temptations and does not allow himself the OPPORTUNITY to commit such wicked sins.

How would you feel if your wife did the same? Then know, she will be deeply hurt if she loves you. I would think long and hard how to deal with her on this matter, either way, it will hurt your relationship with your wife. When we men allow ourselves to be satisfied sexually by other females in ANY WAY you want to consider how men relief themselves of lust, then we are destroying our relationship with our wife, and WE DESERVE the result of doing that! When our wives KNOW that we want them and ONLY them, it makes for a wonderful love life beyond what Hollywood can even script or THINK OF.

Shame on you for sinning against God and your wife~but you can take comfort knowing he's a forgiving God when we confess and forsake our sins.
« Last Edit: Fri Dec 02, 2016 - 03:24:12 by RB »

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #3 on: Fri Dec 02, 2016 - 03:19:07 »
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Offline Michael2012

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #4 on: Fri Dec 02, 2016 - 07:16:15 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #4 on: Fri Dec 02, 2016 - 07:16:15 »



Offline GODandMAN

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #5 on: Wed Jan 04, 2017 - 01:14:42 »
The Holy Spirit will give you the desire to tell your wife if that's in the plan. If not, then you will suffer with that image of having sex with another woman while you're with your wife. Guilt and shame comes from Satan so it will remain unless the Holy Spirit takes that guilt and shame away by having you confess your sin and forgiven. This may or may not involve your wife but you will have to deal with this no matter what. Just wait upon the Lord and you will be healed of this sin.

Offline The Barbarian

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #6 on: Sat Feb 11, 2017 - 21:43:46 »
I hope you took some precautions about disease.   If not, things might get worse.   If you weren't careful, see a doctor and make sure you're clear.

One of the saddest moments of my life was as NCOIC of an immunization clinic in the AF.   One of my guys gets a pilot and his wife from the flight surgeon for procaine penicillin. 

Wife was angry, and husband was looking at his shoes.

"Why is it, he's sick and I'm getting a shot?  What is this for?"

The airman looked at me.

"I can't say; the flight surgeon didn't say on the prescription."

She continued to ask; I continued to be evasive, telling her that she'd have to ask the flight surgeon.

I don't know what happened after that, but I doubt if it was good.

Temporary duty overseas had a lot of that, but usually, I didn't have to see the damage it did to the family.    I'm not trying to make you feel worse; you obviously feel terrible.   And that says good things about you as a Christian.   Just make sure for your wife's sake, um?


Offline jeager

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #7 on: Wed Feb 15, 2017 - 11:16:34 »
WHY hurt her by confessing all?  ::shrug::

Offline Texas Conservative

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #8 on: Wed Feb 15, 2017 - 19:53:06 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

Truth means nothing to folks like you.  If he is not honest he is continuing forward in a lie, and wasting her time.  She has the right to know the truth, and should be given the choice to stay after the marriage covenant has been broken.

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #9 on: Wed Feb 15, 2017 - 22:53:42 »
RB has given sound Godly advice. 

The only thing that I can add is to please get checked out by a doctor to ensure that you haven't contracted any kind of STD that you could possibly transmit  to your wife.

Thoughts and prayers for you and your wife.


Offline jeager

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #10 on: Thu Feb 16, 2017 - 01:08:05 »
Was the other woman also married?
That is a consideration.
If you tell your wife you must realize she will be hurt and hurt people hurt people.
That could snowball into your wife telling the husband of your affair lady and blow into
a really BIG stink.
A reason for NOT confessing without serious consideration is the fact that
people get their heads blown off over this kind of thing.
Been there seen that.
Too many times.
CONSEQUENCES.
We always pay the consequences of our poor actions.
Consider carefully what is to be gained or lost by confessing all.
Perhaps choose a better time and place.
I dunno.
I don't engage in that kind of extra emotional activity any longer.
Note: Any longer.
I paid a price. A big one.
Broken hearts all the way around and severe emotional pain.
Guilt.
Not good.
I have a GOOD woman now and will not risk anything that might hurt us.
Then there is God who always sees what we hide.
Believe me I made amends to God and do so daily.
"Made direct amends where ever possible except when to do so would injure others."

You are an "other " so is your wife, so is the other woman's hubby if there is one.

If you have a clergyman you can confide in then seek advice. ::preachit::
Else line up a good divorce lawyer and pony up large bucks.
Consequences are inevitable. ::amen!::



Offline jeager

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #11 on: Thu Feb 16, 2017 - 01:19:15 »
Long ago a friend of mine, Manfred, an educated engineer, had a darling wife Lelo.(German)
My wife and I enjoyed their company greatly.
Manfred was having an affair with his wife's BEST FRIEND, Lucy.
Lucy and Lelo work in the same office and are buddies.
Get that so far?
Well the Lucy got caught up in lies with her own hubby and finally
confessed to having this affair with Manfred.
That hubby tossed Lucy out of the house.
The Lucy shows up at Manfred and Lelo's home, barged in and said to Manfred;
"Well I got thrown out of the house over our affair so who is it going to be?
Me or your ugly wife!"

Manfred is now caught like a rat in a trap with NO WAY out.
So he went into another room, got his revolver and blew his brains out!

The "other woman" gets divorced, now has no lover, Lelo the offended, loyal, loving,
wife is now a widow with hateful resentments to deal with.
Two years later Lelo meets a wonderful man who really loves her.
Six months later this nice man dies of heart failure.
Lelo is now old, alone, and moved back to Germany.
Consequences suffered by all for the sins of two.
Not to mention the children of the couples involved.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Not good.

Offline TonkaTim

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #12 on: Thu Feb 16, 2017 - 02:26:06 »
I think the OP is trolling this forum.

Why?


First their avatar naming: Dyketime4. Dyke is slang for lesbian.

I think the next clue is "Women never have paid much attention" because she is a woman.
When she says "We were both virgins on our wedding day" she means neither have ever been with a man.
When they say "we have a two year old daughter" it is meant to throw you off. Lesbians can have children through adoption, artificial insemination, etc. Science can now recombine same-sex DNA to make an embryo, why they said daughter. If you recombine the dna of two females it can only make more females, thus daughter.

With this troll post I think they think they are being clever by implying that gay marriage is normal, healthy, & godly because they are 'Christian' too.
These are my thoughts as to why I think it is a troll post.

Offline Alan

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #13 on: Thu Feb 16, 2017 - 04:37:15 »
I think the OP is trolling this forum.

Why?


First their avatar naming: Dyketime4. Dyke is slang for lesbian.

I think the next clue is "Women never have paid much attention" because she is a woman.
When she says "We were both virgins on our wedding day" she means neither have ever been with a man.
When they say "we have a two year old daughter" it is meant to throw you off. Lesbians can have children through adoption, artificial insemination, etc. Science can now recombine same-sex DNA to make an embryo, why they said daughter. If you recombine the dna of two females it can only make more females, thus daughter.

With this troll post I think they think they are being clever by implying that gay marriage is normal, healthy, & godly because they are 'Christian' too.
These are my thoughts as to why I think it is a troll post.


From my end I can see that this member is in a group of members all with the same IP and all with a single post/thread. I believe these threads are all from one person posing as different people and asking different questions or posting different scenarios, perhaps on behalf of a group they are tending? As with the other threads, a reply to comments is never given, the account was created and the last time the member logged in was 15 minutes after the OP was posted.

 

Offline Michael2012

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #14 on: Thu Feb 16, 2017 - 22:25:14 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

Truth means nothing to folks like you.  If he is not honest he is continuing forward in a lie, and wasting her time.  She has the right to know the truth, and should be given the choice to stay after the marriage covenant has been broken.

Please go through my post again and point where in there in what I said that would even suggest that truth means nothing to me, so I may understand what and why you see it that way.

Thank you.

Offline RB

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #15 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 03:30:29 »
I think the OP is trolling this forum.

Why?


First their avatar naming: Dyketime4. Dyke is slang for lesbian.

I think the next clue is "Women never have paid much attention" because she is a woman.
When she says "We were both virgins on our wedding day" she means neither have ever been with a man.
When they say "we have a two year old daughter" it is meant to throw you off. Lesbians can have children through adoption, artificial insemination, etc. Science can now recombine same-sex DNA to make an embryo, why they said daughter. If you recombine the dna of two females it can only make more females, thus daughter.

With this troll post I think they think they are being clever by implying that gay marriage is normal, healthy, & godly because they are 'Christian' too.
These are my thoughts as to why I think it is a troll post.
I think you are 100% correct...I've been duped... again! There had been many times that I saw ahead and understood what these wicked trolls are up to~this came into my mind, but I allow charity to believe the best and did not want to be judgmental. Thank you, my wise brother, for your godly input. God has a special place for people like this one, and they will not like it.

Offline TonkaTim

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #16 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 03:54:57 »
Brother you are too kind to me. I completely agree with you on charity. Christian charity is one of the greatest blessings & virtues of the brethren but the enemy is always scheming to make it seem as weakness & foolishness. They are wrong & will find out in due time.

Jd34

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #17 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 07:55:45 »
Thanks for bringing that into focus TonkaTim. You make perfect sense. It's good to see forum members to instinctually jump in and be sincere in trying to help others that are in need but oh what a rotten feeling it is to know that you have been had. 

 ::Hooked::



 

Offline Alan

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #18 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 08:00:47 »
As I stated above, the member was only active on the forum for 15 minutes after the OP and has never logged in since, multiple users on the same IP, all with different scenarios. Perhaps we can all take some time to check whether a particular user is genuinely interested in replies based on their activity on this forum.

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #19 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 09:30:22 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

Truth means nothing to folks like you.  If he is not honest he is continuing forward in a lie, and wasting her time.  She has the right to know the truth, and should be given the choice to stay after the marriage covenant has been broken.

Please go through my post again and point where in there in what I said that would even suggest that truth means nothing to me, so I may understand what and why you see it that way.

Thank you.

You encouraged the fake poster to not be honest (or "wait for the right time") for the good of his family.  It is a lie by omission.  I know If I were in the position of this wife, I would want to know, and know sooner rather than later.  She should have the choice to not waste years of her life with someone who obviously didn't care enough about her to keep his pants on.

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #20 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 09:52:34 »
I have to agree with Texas Conservative here, even though this thread may not be legit, other readers will eventually come across it and our comments will be considered in relation to the OP. Anyway, without a shadow of a doubt this wife should be informed that her husband has broken their vows, and in the most vile way possible. As a man, I would also want to know, and immediately, not months or years down the road. I do not accept infidelity nor would I administer it. 

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #21 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 10:05:08 »
I have to agree with Texas Conservative here, even though this thread may not be legit, other readers will eventually come across it and our comments will be considered in relation to the OP. Anyway, without a shadow of a doubt this wife should be informed that her husband has broken their vows, and in the most vile way possible. As a man, I would also want to know, and immediately, not months or years down the road. I do not accept infidelity nor would I administer it.

And then you get into things like getting tested for STD's.  Even if a condom is used, there are diseases or infections spread through skin to skin contact.  Michael2012's reply was ignorant on many levels.

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #22 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 11:09:48 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

Truth means nothing to folks like you.  If he is not honest he is continuing forward in a lie, and wasting her time.  She has the right to know the truth, and should be given the choice to stay after the marriage covenant has been broken.

Please go through my post again and point where in there in what I said that would even suggest that truth means nothing to me, so I may understand what and why you see it that way.

Thank you.

You encouraged the fake poster to not be honest (or "wait for the right time") for the good of his family.  It is a lie by omission.  I know If I were in the position of this wife, I would want to know, and know sooner rather than later.  She should have the choice to not waste years of her life with someone who obviously didn't care enough about her to keep his pants on.

I respect your opinion. But I'm not encouraging the poster to not be honest. This is what I said "Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. "

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #23 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 11:16:33 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

Truth means nothing to folks like you.  If he is not honest he is continuing forward in a lie, and wasting her time.  She has the right to know the truth, and should be given the choice to stay after the marriage covenant has been broken.

Please go through my post again and point where in there in what I said that would even suggest that truth means nothing to me, so I may understand what and why you see it that way.

Thank you.

You encouraged the fake poster to not be honest (or "wait for the right time") for the good of his family.  It is a lie by omission.  I know If I were in the position of this wife, I would want to know, and know sooner rather than later.  She should have the choice to not waste years of her life with someone who obviously didn't care enough about her to keep his pants on.

I respect your opinion. But I'm not encouraging the poster to not be honest. This is what I said "Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. "


Selfish attitude, you're looking for ways to make it easier on you than being genuinely concerned for your marriage and family.

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #24 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 11:25:17 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

Truth means nothing to folks like you.  If he is not honest he is continuing forward in a lie, and wasting her time.  She has the right to know the truth, and should be given the choice to stay after the marriage covenant has been broken.

Please go through my post again and point where in there in what I said that would even suggest that truth means nothing to me, so I may understand what and why you see it that way.

Thank you.

You encouraged the fake poster to not be honest (or "wait for the right time") for the good of his family.  It is a lie by omission.  I know If I were in the position of this wife, I would want to know, and know sooner rather than later.  She should have the choice to not waste years of her life with someone who obviously didn't care enough about her to keep his pants on.

I respect your opinion. But I'm not encouraging the poster to not be honest. This is what I said "Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. "

You are foolish if you think there will ever be a right time.

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #25 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 11:32:37 »
"Confess your sins..." doesn't refer to when the timing is ideal for you.

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #26 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 13:40:08 »
Thanks for bringing that into focus TonkaTim. You make perfect sense. It's good to see forum members to instinctually jump in and be sincere in trying to help others that are in need but oh what a rotten feeling it is to know that you have been had. 

 ::Hooked::
The "hooked" is so funny! But so true...oh "Aquarius"has been caught again...for the umpteen time!

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #27 on: Fri Feb 17, 2017 - 13:51:11 »
Thanks for bringing that into focus TonkaTim. You make perfect sense. It's good to see forum members to instinctually jump in and be sincere in trying to help others that are in need but oh what a rotten feeling it is to know that you have been had. 

 ::Hooked::
The "hooked" is so funny! But so true...oh "Aquarius"has been caught again...for the umpteen time!


Funny as it may seem, it's likely not the case with this thread.

Offline Michael2012

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #28 on: Sat Feb 18, 2017 - 13:08:14 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

Truth means nothing to folks like you.  If he is not honest he is continuing forward in a lie, and wasting her time.  She has the right to know the truth, and should be given the choice to stay after the marriage covenant has been broken.

Please go through my post again and point where in there in what I said that would even suggest that truth means nothing to me, so I may understand what and why you see it that way.

Thank you.

You encouraged the fake poster to not be honest (or "wait for the right time") for the good of his family.  It is a lie by omission.  I know If I were in the position of this wife, I would want to know, and know sooner rather than later.  She should have the choice to not waste years of her life with someone who obviously didn't care enough about her to keep his pants on.

I respect your opinion. But I'm not encouraging the poster to not be honest. This is what I said "Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. "


Selfish attitude, you're looking for ways to make it easier on you than being genuinely concerned for your marriage and family.

I respect your opinion too Alan. If for you, that is easy, it's not. It's suffering on the part of the repentant husband to not be able to make it right with his wife sooner. How could one who has admitted his wrong doing, repented and asked God for forgiveness, and then would want to make it right with his wife and kids, though at the right time, would be selfish? That is not selfishness, for he is being concerned with their marriage and family. As I said,  It would be equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time, if you are sure that doing so will destroy the family. And as I said, there is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is the time when it will bring about good. In addition, doing what is right at the wrong time, would render it wrong.

Offline Michael2012

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #29 on: Sat Feb 18, 2017 - 13:17:37 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

Truth means nothing to folks like you.  If he is not honest he is continuing forward in a lie, and wasting her time.  She has the right to know the truth, and should be given the choice to stay after the marriage covenant has been broken.

Please go through my post again and point where in there in what I said that would even suggest that truth means nothing to me, so I may understand what and why you see it that way.

Thank you.

You encouraged the fake poster to not be honest (or "wait for the right time") for the good of his family.  It is a lie by omission.  I know If I were in the position of this wife, I would want to know, and know sooner rather than later.  She should have the choice to not waste years of her life with someone who obviously didn't care enough about her to keep his pants on.

I respect your opinion. But I'm not encouraging the poster to not be honest. This is what I said "Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. "

You are foolish if you think there will ever be a right time.

If you think so. But ....

He is a Christian, and I believe, being one, he will pray to God and ask His help on this matter.  Have faith, God is merciful and loving.

Offline Michael2012

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #30 on: Sat Feb 18, 2017 - 13:23:42 »
"Confess your sins..." doesn't refer to when the timing is ideal for you.

I could agree to confessing your sins to God does not have to wait for a repentant soul, but not necessarily so to man.

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #31 on: Sat Feb 18, 2017 - 13:54:32 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

Truth means nothing to folks like you.  If he is not honest he is continuing forward in a lie, and wasting her time.  She has the right to know the truth, and should be given the choice to stay after the marriage covenant has been broken.

Please go through my post again and point where in there in what I said that would even suggest that truth means nothing to me, so I may understand what and why you see it that way.

Thank you.

You encouraged the fake poster to not be honest (or "wait for the right time") for the good of his family.  It is a lie by omission.  I know If I were in the position of this wife, I would want to know, and know sooner rather than later.  She should have the choice to not waste years of her life with someone who obviously didn't care enough about her to keep his pants on.

I respect your opinion. But I'm not encouraging the poster to not be honest. This is what I said "Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. "

You are foolish if you think there will ever be a right time.

If you think so. But ....

He is a Christian, and I believe, being one, he will pray to God and ask His help on this matter.  Have faith, God is merciful and loving.

Are you giving the advice this way because you have cheated on your wife and have not told her?

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #32 on: Sat Feb 18, 2017 - 14:44:25 »
"Confess your sins..." doesn't refer to when the timing is ideal for you.

I could agree to confessing your sins to God does not have to wait for a repentant soul, but not necessarily so to man.


James 5:16 refers to confessing sins to each other, those are the sins that we commit against one another, I understand that you feel repentance via forgiveness from God is of the utmost priority, but James is definitely making people accountable with the need for open confession, too many people hide behind "it's between God and I" these days, which gives people the option to sin without accountability.

Offline Michael2012

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #33 on: Sat Feb 18, 2017 - 16:00:33 »
I know that this is a terribly serious situation.  I just feel awful about what I did.  See I travel a lot for my work.  Monday night I was staying at this motel and ate at the restaurant next door.  There was this blonde waitress that kept flirting with me and she was about my age.  Women never have paid much attention to me other than my wife so I am not used to this temptation and she looked like a model.  Next thing I know she's in my motel room and I'm sure you know the rest.  It was like I just completely lost control.  I don't even know any more about her than her first name.  I feel like a monster.  I've been married to my wife for three years, and we have a two year old daughter.  Both my wife and I are 23.  She's the best wife in the world and so sweet.  We were both virgins on our wedding day.  And my amazing little girl.  I just can't believe my shocking deed.  What can I do?  I just feel so awful.  My wife doesn't know but I think I need to tell her.  I don't want to destroy our family I want to grow old with my wife but I know this will hurt her.  She's a Christian as well.  If I can even say I'm a Christiam anymore.  How do I apologize to her and to God.  What can I do?  I need some guidance here.  Thank you.

You said "If I can even say I'm a Christian anymore". Of course you can, if truly you believed in God and in Christ, by which you came to be a Christian. You sinned. Certainly, that makes you a sinner, but certainly that does not mean you did not truly become an adopted child of God, or that you no longer are whenever you sin because of the weakness of the flesh. 

Needless to say, you must repent of this sin and ask God to forgive you. That is the most important thing that you must do. For by doing so, is the way to be rid and washed of the guilt that you feel brought about by the sin you've done. If you've done that already, I'm sure God have restored your joy in the spirit.     

Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. 

You may feel bad while keeping that to yourself, but that is the consequence of the wrong you have done, and you must be more than willing and happy to suffer for it alone than drag along your beloved family into it and all suffer for it. This only will not add to your suffering, but will feel the pain and guilt of having your innocent family to suffer and go through what they do not deserve.

I hope that, in all of this, you realize many things, bad and good, now with regards to the matter as to why scriptures is rich in the teachings and reminders of being obedient to doing what is right, the commandments of God.   

God bless!

Truth means nothing to folks like you.  If he is not honest he is continuing forward in a lie, and wasting her time.  She has the right to know the truth, and should be given the choice to stay after the marriage covenant has been broken.

Please go through my post again and point where in there in what I said that would even suggest that truth means nothing to me, so I may understand what and why you see it that way.

Thank you.

You encouraged the fake poster to not be honest (or "wait for the right time") for the good of his family.  It is a lie by omission.  I know If I were in the position of this wife, I would want to know, and know sooner rather than later.  She should have the choice to not waste years of her life with someone who obviously didn't care enough about her to keep his pants on.

I respect your opinion. But I'm not encouraging the poster to not be honest. This is what I said "Now, the matter of facing the consequence/s of your sin in your life here and now. If you strongly feel that telling your wife this sin you have committed would certainly destroy your family, if I were you, I'd decide to keep it to myself at least until such time that I would be certain that confessing it to my wife would not result to the destruction of my family. It is equally sinful for you to hurting your wife and eventually destroying your family by confessing this sin you've done at this point in time. There is always a right time in doing what is right. And the right time is when it will bring about good then than now. "

You are foolish if you think there will ever be a right time.

If you think so. But ....

He is a Christian, and I believe, being one, he will pray to God and ask His help on this matter.  Have faith, God is merciful and loving.

Are you giving the advice this way because you have cheated on your wife and have not told her?

Is that your way of disagreeing with what I said? I don't have anything against you Texas Conservative. If you don't agree with me and have a different opinion, I would respect that.

Offline Michael2012

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Re: I cheated on my wife PLEAS HELP ME
« Reply #34 on: Sat Feb 18, 2017 - 16:07:30 »
"Confess your sins..." doesn't refer to when the timing is ideal for you.

I could agree to confessing your sins to God does not have to wait for a repentant soul, but not necessarily so to man.


James 5:16 refers to confessing sins to each other, those are the sins that we commit against one another, I understand that you feel repentance via forgiveness from God is of the utmost priority, but James is definitely making people accountable with the need for open confession, too many people hide behind "it's between God and I" these days, which gives people the option to sin without accountability.

If you get to read my post (Reply #4), you would find nothing in there about making or having people not accountable for their wrong doing.