Author Topic: i think my wife cheated  (Read 1698 times)

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Offline shooutlevel

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i think my wife cheated
« on: Mon Dec 29, 2014 - 15:40:04 »
So my wife went out with her friend to a birthday party and i was already feeling some kinda way so i followed them. I lost them on the freeway and i chose to go back to her friends house where i knew she would return but she never did, when i called her she kept telling me that she was dropping her of ...im dropping her off but she never came . I heard men in the background when i called. So now its 4 a.m. and i call again and she says she is on the way home so i drove home as fast as i could but she never came , i called her again and now she says that she is in the hospital for bleeding in her vaginal area . When i arrived at the hospital she looked like she was in a fight.while she was getting checked i went to check her car it was so messed up , so many wet spots and some of them was white. After a few days i asked he to take a lie detection  test and she told me that when test comes back that she is telling the truth that she was going to leave me. I have been thinking  about this for a long time and i dont know what to do..... i cant talk to her about it she will get .....do i cheat to get back at her? ??? ??? ? I just do know ...i really think in my heart that she cheated but i have no proof.....just a little advice please.
« Last Edit: Mon Dec 29, 2014 - 17:05:41 by JohnDB »

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i think my wife cheated
« on: Mon Dec 29, 2014 - 15:40:04 »

Offline Catholica

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Re: I THINK MY WIFE CHEATED
« Reply #1 on: Mon Dec 29, 2014 - 15:58:23 »
I am so sorry that this happened to you.

Of course, DO NOT cheat to "get back at her".  You will only hurt herself and make things worse, and anyway it is a terrible sin.

Give yourself some time to collect your emotions before you make any decisions regarding this marriage.  If she leaves you, you can't stop her, you have to let her go.  Take some time to be with the Lord in prayer.  You will need His help first and foremost through this terrible situation.

Offline JohnDB

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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #2 on: Mon Dec 29, 2014 - 17:08:23 »
I really wouldn't get revenge...revenge is childish and so short lived.


Let God get revenge.


In the meantime I would simply divorce her and leave her to her own devices...looks like she has issues making good choices anyway. So leave her to them.


You can't save her.
She will bring you down with her.


Let her fall and watch the carnage.

Offline covefromoz

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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #3 on: Thu Jan 01, 2015 - 13:16:04 »
Cheating to get back at her is not the answer.  That basically tells you a lot about your own character.  If the solution is revenge in the form of cheating then you really have no foundation to accuse her or judge her since you are willing to do the same thing.

First off, you need to meditate on yourself.  Why did you follow her?  That speaks of insecurity...perhaps there are issues in your marriage that need to be looked at.  If you weren't going to go out with her for her birthday then you have to trust that she is going to go have a good time and she'll be home when she gets home.  Otherwise you need to be there with her.  Sometimes a girl just wants to go out with her friends - there's no harm in that.  But if your reaction is to follow her then that tells me there are a lot of underlying problems going on here.

Secondly, make sure she's okay.  If she's at the hospital for something and it looks like she got in a fight you need to make sure she's alright.

Thirdly...the lie detector thing is a bit crazy...but if you really have some evidence that she cannot explain then you might want to talk to a counselor and figure out why this marriage is producing situations like this for you.

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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #3 on: Thu Jan 01, 2015 - 13:16:04 »
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Offline JB

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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #4 on: Thu Jan 01, 2015 - 16:40:44 »
I am NO ONE but another struggling like you. But here is my 2 cents. Pray about it.

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

    How long have you two been married?

    What did you see in her and her in you that brought you two together?

    Why did you two really tie the knot and marry each other?

    Are either of you saved through the blood of Jesus?

    Why were you suspicious? What caused those suspicions? How long have you allowed her to continue suspicious   activities?

    Why haven't you addressed this suspicion in a round about way with her?

    If you can't with her, you can with us, but we can only see it from your perspective and it would be very unfair to both of you if we commented on the relationship without hearing her side. There are usually valid complaints  from BOTH sides for a good relationship gone bad.

You do know, just in case this is the situation, that jealousy is a form of hate and shows lack of trust, respect, and honor and usually causes that to happen which it is trying so hard to stop or control?

Just my 2 cents worth of questions you should ask yourself and inform us of so we can better serve you; howbeit lacking your wife's side of the story.

This is NOT the end of the world  even if your worst fears are true. It only means that she wants to be with and committed to another. If this is true and you have been faithful and a good husband otherwise, you could divorce her BUT, if it is in your heart to forgive, truly forgive, and she is truly repentant and will go to counseling together with you, and you two both become saved children of God through Jesus, you may be able to work through it, but you BOTH have to want to BECAUSE you love each other as the person you each are and NOT because of your bodies, or money, or other material things. If she is NOT repentant and you don't want to divorce then you must FORMALLY separate. You will only enable her to continue her behavior if you don't break the relationship and support. If it happens that you two divorce, take a few deep breathes as you remind yourself that many, many have gone on and fully recovered and have found another person to love and love them and unite in marriage. I repeat, regardless of how it feels, it is NOT the end of the world; not close.

    One last thing. Don't make the mistake I did. Give it another chance and if it doesn't work out and the problem(s) are repeated DO NOT listen to some ignoramus and just keep inviting more and more pain by forgiving over and over. Before you know it , it will be too late to get a divorce and you will be stuck and anxiously waiting upon your departure for heaven.


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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #4 on: Thu Jan 01, 2015 - 16:40:44 »



Offline TheWordIsOne

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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #5 on: Wed Jan 21, 2015 - 13:06:53 »
.....do i cheat to get back at her? ??? ??? ? I just do know ...i really think in my heart that she cheated but i have no proof.....just a little advice please.

Greeting friend  ::tippinghat::

It Seen a young man and young woman cannot control ones body and is lead to ones desire in sexual immortality, I can understand, it’s a worldwide problem, but the word tell us about when we sin in marriage and what the Lord tell us when, and if we do not have control of our behavior as two in  matrimony , and as it continue you give an open door to Satan, all is in what is your heart, but not say too, the woman as well.   

Any Sins open up a door into your heart, this is where Satan can get a foothold, pray for, forgiveness and always in true love

We read in Mark 10:5-9, 11 -12 And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.'
'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  Whoever divorces his wife and marries commits adultery against her.
And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

1 Corinthians 7:1-10 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.
For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
 
This call comparing scripture with scripture ::reading::

Offline Adamski

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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #6 on: Wed Mar 25, 2015 - 09:26:12 »
Go talk to your pastor together, go to a Christian therapist, you both need to be at church every week.
Don't have sex with her until she is tested for an std

Pray together every night

Offline AliRaza08

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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #7 on: Thu Apr 16, 2015 - 07:42:44 »
 i went to check her car it was so messed up , so many wet spots and some of them was white. After a few days i asked he to take a lie detection  test and she told me that when test comes back that she is telling the truth that she was going to leave me. I have been thinking  about this for a long time and i dont know what to d

Offline AliRaza08

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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #8 on: Thu Apr 16, 2015 - 07:43:24 »
so many wet spots and some of them was white. After a few days i asked he to take a lie detection  test and she told me that when test comes back that she is telling the truth that she was going to leave me.




...........................
Kashmiri Butt

Offline WilliamGoode

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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #9 on: Mon May 18, 2015 - 20:39:50 »
I will pray for you, brother.

Buster D Body Crab

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Re: i think my wife cheated
« Reply #10 on: Mon May 18, 2015 - 21:43:13 »
This is what is often called a zombie thread. Revived by a post after a very long dormant period. The OP author hasn't posted since December 2014.
Closed.