My only advice would be to REPENT of your wicked affection toward another man. I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear, yet that's the only advice that I have for you.
I have had no real friends my whole life. Im serious and I am 53 years old.
Your wife should be your best friend. Do you have children? If so, what shame would your bring upon them if you left their mother for another man! They would have the right to never speak to you again, and I would not blame them. God made you a man, BE ONE.