This is an old thread and I'm looking at the OP, but it sounds like the wife is trying to use reconciliation as a way of gaining control. If I were in that situation, I'd tell my wife that we were reconciling, but there wasn't going to be a once-a-week limit, and tell read to her about 'due benevolence.'
But it sounds like some work needs to be done to change the dynamics of the relationship. On the spiritual/devotional side of things, if you are both believers, start taking the lead by praying with her every day or night and reading the Bible with her. And try to get on the same page about responsibilities in marriage, so that at least in theory that she agrees that she needs to submit to her husband and respect her husband. If she embraces that, then, emotionally, I believe she may be more receptive to a better sexual relationship with her husband. If she's respectful and submissive toward him rather than critical and controlling, that's a good first step.
You definitely don't want to have a rule on you that she's not going to do her responsibilities in the marriage, or only do the parts she wants.