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Offline LostOne

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I am lost
« on: December 01, 2011, 02:24:49 PM »
I am lost!  I have strayed so far away that I don't feel I can ever find my way back.  I have betrayed my family, my friends and ultimately myself and what I wanted to be in the face of the all Powerful.

So what am I talking about.  A few years ago I found faith, and more importantly I discovered that so had my brother.  We had lost touch over the years, but now through faith we where once again connected.  And then IT HIT!!!  Everything that could go wrong started to go wrong.  My mother fell horribly ill, my brother tried to commit suicide after doing the unthinkable, then he gets arrested.  I have to break the news to my mother who is on her sick bed and my father who is going through a "personal hell" looking after her.  My aunt, who is my mothers twin sister, falls ill and we watch as she slowly fails away into nothingness, but does not die, just lingers.  Hour on hour we watch the cancer eat her away, she lies in hospital dying more and more a little at a time.  I am left to be the pillar for the family.  A brother in jail, a sick mother, a father that is stressed out but acts strong, an aunt that is dying.  Basically a family in crisis.

I loose my faith.

Life continues, my aunt dies.  I carry on.  I have turned my back on all things good.  I act boldly in the face of my friends and family, but in the darkness of myself I turn to sleeping around, betraying my wife...  for what...  sex thats for what.  The need to feel something, not knowing how to get that from what I have.

I know that I will be judged, that I am bad, that all the things that happened where there to test my faith, that I failed!!!!!  I am lost and I don't know how to be found!!!  I don't know how to seek forgiveness for I feel that I have used up all my credits in that respect.

I know there is a power in the universe that is far greater that I can imagine, and I know that some call this God, I used to call unto this Power.  I still catch myself wanting forgiveness.  I know that all the bad things that are happening to me now (skin conditions, my health slipping, etc.) are a function my stress as a result of being lost.

It is like my Garmin has failed and my compass has been demagnetised.  I am lost and I have no way of finding my way back!

I expect I will find many responses that criticize and tell me all the bad things but what I need is just directions please.

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I am lost
« on: December 01, 2011, 02:24:49 PM »

larry2

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2011, 03:02:42 PM »
I am not your judge, and due to my own failures I am very thankful for that. I can say that Jesus loves me, this I know, for the bible tells me so but wait, Jesus died for you too. Hopefully the following pamphlet will help you see the position you're in, and may God bless you to see yourself Him in Jesus' name.

Salvation with Security - Part One   

http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/theology/salvation-with-security-part-one/msg594337/#msg594337

Salvation with Security - Part Two

http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/theology/salvation-with-security-part-two/msg594338/#msg594338


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Re: I am lost
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2011, 03:02:42 PM »

Offline johndoo

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2011, 04:09:00 PM »
You have come to a Christian forum and in Christ you can find grace and mercy.
In Christ , the lost are found.   The shepard will go out just to find the one lost sheep.

We are your brothers in Christ and we are here to support you. 
Find a Christian counselor as you need guidance for the long road ahead. 
When we grieve and when we are under stress we can turn to inappropriate coping mechanisms.  I've coped inappropriately also so I give you this advice with my love and all humility. 

The road ahead will be difficult.  You will have to deal with the underlying pain of losing loved ones.  You will have to deal with the current relationships that you have hurt. 

Pray and seek guidance.
We all need it.  This is a chance for incredible growth as you stop trying to escape the pain but deal with the issues. 
You can feel waves of emotions that don't make sense and may be unplanned and inopportune. 

Put one foot in front of the other.  Keep going.  We have all made mistakes.  We all sin.  All we can do is ask for forgiveness. Recieve forgiveness from God.  Ask forgivenss from others.

cs80918

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2011, 04:23:09 PM »
Mose was a murder.

David was an adulterer and responsible for a man's death.

Paul had Christians persecuted and killed.

God forgave them all.

God can forgive you to.

Repent of your sins and follow Jesus.

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2011, 04:23:09 PM »
Pinterest: GraceCentered.com

Offline NowFound

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2011, 10:09:26 AM »
As mentioned, you aren't the first to fail.  But the same as the other biblical examples and probably scores of guys who post here, you don't need to remain condemned for your sins.  From your post, I can't tell if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior.

Get a Bible and read it.  I personally recommend one with a study section, it helped when I got stuck on translating what I had read and how to apply it directly to my life.

It seems you have 2 aspects to deal with:

  1.  The pressure of dealing with your trials
       Try reading Job.  I was recently involved in a study and it was eye-opening.  I had thought of Job    and that he just hung on until God finally restored him.  It's way, way more than that.  Job lost so much and despaired as to why, but he came to an understanding that God is greater, more powerful, and wonderous that we can truly fathom. 

  2.  The guilt/shame of your sin
       Confess to God.  Repent of your sins, turn away, and most of all ask God for forgiveness.  Then accept that forgiveness.    Some time back I heard an explanation of our struggle to rise from shame and guilt.  Consider the difference between your court and God's court.  In your court, you see your sins against God and others as unforgiveable and proclaim yourself guilty.  But take it to God, He tells you that if you ask, your sins are forgiven and you are washed clean through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. 
So which court is higher?  Which judge is almighty?

On a human level, there is a struggle on whether to tell your wife or not.  You don't want to hurt her and add to her burden.  But is that your fear or Satan's whispering that she doesn't need to know?  I'm praying that God Himself or someone God inspired on this board, or maybe a counselor has that answer for you.

I lift you and your situation up to God, praise Him that He revealed His will for you to escape from sin. 

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Phil 4:13

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2011, 10:09:26 AM »



Offline HRoberson

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2011, 06:55:55 PM »
"Salvation" isn't about assenting to some historic proposition.

It is about giving yourself over to a way of life.

It isn't about knowing why things happen or denying the reality of this life.

It is about staying in line with who you were meant to be.

Offline Ben

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2011, 11:19:51 AM »
"As a man thinketh in his heart so is he. (Prov 23:7)  So do you think you are a vile sinner deserving of hell?  You are.  So do you think you are a backslidden Christian in need of forgiveness?  You are.  

My pastor says frequently "Fake it till you make it."  By that he means sometimes you don't FEEL forgiven, but according to 1 John 1:9 you are.  Sometimes you don't FEEL saved but according to John 1:12 you are.  Sometimes you FEEL condemned but you are not according to Romans 8:1.  So the choice is yours.

Ben

Offline Meknow

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2011, 02:22:41 PM »
13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
1 Cor 10:13 (KJV) God allowed this because He knows that you can bare it.  If you can only stand a 4, God is faithful to not allow a 5 to come upon you or the bible is a lie and it is not.  He sees you and your circumstances.  He is bringing a testimony up in you to be seen and heard.  Stand by faith and you will see...

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28 (KJV)  God will turn what satan meant for bad to God for them that love Him...  it will happen if you want to see it... 

14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: 15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.
1 John 5:14-15 (KJV) Now pray in confidence and walk in faith believing that God is not such a Father that He can stand and see His children suffer and not act. 

2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
James 1:2-4 (KJV)

Offline Apag

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2012, 06:27:47 AM »
We all make mistakes, some bigger than others. We all have regrets, some we hold on to forever.

This is obviously easier said than done but you have to start doing the right things. You can't change the past. All you can is what's right, from hear on out. I promise that you're strong enough for that.

Offline Arc Angel

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2012, 09:40:17 AM »
Personally, I think the one thing you really forgot to do is PRAY.  That's right, I said, PRAY!  God has said that he would never forsake anyone who accepts (or has accepted) Him.  

'Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for The Lord Thy God, He it is that doth go with thee; He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.' - Deuteronomy 31:6  

'And The Lord, He it is that doth go before thee; He will be with thee, He will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.'   - Deuteronomy 31: 8  

'Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.' - Hebrews 13:5  

Is the Bible just another book?  Are these nothing more than nice sounding words?  Deep down inside do you believe that there is some sort of, 'intellectual disconnect' between you, your own life, and the scriptures of the Holy Bible?  (I think, in truth, you do.  You may not be consciously aware of it; but, I'd say that this, 'disconnect' is definitely there!)  

Here's a little story for you:  A few years ago I spent several months fighting for my life.  I experienced a sudden episode of congestive heart failure.  One episode turned into two; and two turned into three.  During this time I was, for all practical intents and purposes, existing on, 'death's door'.  Time as the conscious mind usually perceives it just seemed to fade away.  I could lose entire days and not even know it!  It seemed as if I were only existing in order to breathe.  

During these, 'in and out' episodes and my frequent return trips to the hospital I got to see, both, the very best and the very worst of people.  (Not all doctors are benevolent healers; some are actually incompetent, even malicious, miscreants instead!)  I've never told anyone this story; but, as a favor to you, I'll describe it now:  

A short time after heart surgery I had a doctor come into my room, roust me from a quiet slumber, and ask me whether or not I wanted my name added to a list of recipients for a possible heart transplant?  I fully woke up, looked at this man; and replied, 'Doctor, I'm a Christian.'  'I would never do something like that.'  

The Doctor replied, 'I'm a Christian, too; and I'm offering you a second chance to live!'  I answered, 'Apparently, we're different kinds of Christians.'  'I'd appreciate it if you'd allow me to die as I've lived - In accord with my Christian conscience.'  The Doctor recoiled!  He left my room in what appeared to be a fit of rage.  

A day or two later this same man came back to my room at a very early hour of the morning.  His first words were, 'Mr. Angel, I've got some bad news for you.'  'Your X-rays and tests have come back.'  'You have cancer; and there's nothing much we can do about it!'  'Your heart is, also, very weak.'  'Right now, you've got an ejection fraction of only 15%; and that isn't good.'  

So there I am, flat on my back, debilitated, helpless, and fighting for my life - Which, all of a sudden, didn't seem worth fighting for anymore.  THAT is when I remembered these verses!  A sudden, genuinely inexplicable, calm came over me.  I should have been afraid; I should have been depressed; but, instead, I became overwhelmed by a sudden sensation of, 'another presence' inside my room.  I had no particular reason to hope; I remember thinking to myself; 'Why am I not scared?' but, I wasn't!  

My overwhelming sensation was one of everything being all right.  I drifted off and time, 'disappeared' again for awhile.  A day, or two, later another doctor came into my room.  He asked me how I was; and I facetiously told him, 'How should I be?'  When he questioned me he seemed surprised.  He looked at his watch, remarked that the lab was still open, and said that he would go downstairs to review my results.

About an hour later I saw this doctor come running - running - down the hallway toward my room.  He stepped inside with the words, 'You do NOT have cancer!'  'You've got several environmental toxins in your blood; but, these are things we can work with.'  My recovery was not fast; I took months and months for my health to improve; and a good part of that time I was not allowed to return to my home.

A year later I was in my cardiologist's office.  He was running tests on me when he suddenly let out a low whistle.  I looked at him; and he said, 'This doesn't usually happen!'  'What' I asked?  'He looked at me and said, 'This isn't supposed to happen; but, your ejection fraction is all the way up to 45-50% - Almost normal for a man your age!'

My only thought, both, then and now remains that it had to be God's stated promise as well as the extraordinary power of prayer!  It is written that the devil lusts after our souls; that he wanders to and fro throughout the Earth, trying men's hearts, and looking for souls, 'to steal'.  We, all, have to be careful not to ever allow ourselves to become divorced from God - From the salvation (the relief) of His promises.

Frankly, I think you've allowed yourself to slip.  OK, God will allow you to get back up on your feet again.  Personal foibles and emotional errors are part of conscious existence.  These things happen to all men - Including this author.  The important thing is to be able to recognize when you've either gone, or are going, too far as well as to be willing to, at least, try to get yourself back up on the, 'straight and narrow'.  

I suspect that life isn't a heck of a lot of fun for you right now.  That's because, somewhere along the line, you've managed to acquire an active Christian conscience!  (Good for you!)  That, 'force of conscience' is one of the most powerful personal motivators inherent to the conscious mind.  Until you turn yourself around again (And I think that you shall!) you're not going to know any real peace.  



PS:  A little side note for you:  During my first outpatient visit to the second doctor's office (The one who told me I did NOT have cancer.) my curiosity got the better of me; and I just had to ask!  I said to this doctor, 'Are you a religious man?'  He said, 'Yes, I think that I am.' Curious, I followed with, 'May I ask what religion you are?'  The doctor smiled at me and replied, 'I doubt you'll like what you hear.'  'I answered, 'Tell me anyway.'  The doctor paused for a moment; then he said, 'I'm a Muslim; and I've heard about you and your incredible Christian faith; I hope you won't hold being a Muslim against me.'  

I thought for a moment before replying, 'Doctor, you may be a Muslim; however, I want you to know that you've been more of a Christian to me than any number of others within my own faith.'  The doctor just smiled and looked away.  

True story, every word of it!  
« Last Edit: January 02, 2012, 09:54:57 AM by Arc Angel »

Offline Ben

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2012, 01:55:51 PM »
Copy from above. "I want you to know that you've been more of a Christian to me than any number of others within my own faith.'  The doctor just smiled and looked away."

What is your definition of a "Christian?"  It must be considerably different from mine.  A Muslim is bound by his religion to kill all enemies of their faith (they call us "infidels" which includes all Jews and Christians.)  I have searched in vain in the New Testament of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ where He commanded that we kill our enemies.  Quite the contrary He commands that we love them, so how is this demon worshipper more Christian?

ben


Offline epiphanius

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2012, 09:10:55 AM »
What is your definition of a "Christian?"  It must be considerably different from mine.  A Muslim is bound by his religion to kill all enemies of their faith (they call us "infidels" which includes all Jews and Christians.)

Ben,

Apparently you are unaware of a crucial point regarding the parable of the Good Samaritan.

The Samaritans claimed to worship the same God as the Jews, but their rituals and traditions were all very different, more closely resembling those of the pagans. The Jews regarded their religion as a detestable bastardization of Judaism, and were certain that *nothing* any of them did could be pleasing to God.

And yet Our Lord singled out a Samaritan as a superlative example of Godly living!

I'm sure if the Samaritan in question believed "everything" Samaritans were supposed to believe, he would have acted differently, but obviously he had a different slant on the Samaritan religious traditions, and this could only have come from his own personal encounter with the Living God.

Thus, I would contend that a Muslim *could* likewise have a "different slant" on the teachings of the Qur'an, based on his own personal encounter with the Living God.



Offline Ben

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Re: I am lost
« Reply #12 on: February 24, 2012, 03:24:06 PM »
Maybe so, but the Muslim will still wind up in hell. He can be as "good" as possible, but being "good" simply is not good enough. Never was and never will be. The ONLY way to God is through His Son Jesus Christ, ANY other prophet that says one can make it to heaven by following their way are liars and follow the father of lies Satan.

In John 6:28 Jesus was asked the following question ""What must we do, to be doing the works of God?" Christ's answer was (verse 29) "This is the work of God, that you believe in him [Christ] whom he has sent."   Believe in Jesus, not Mohammed, not Buddha, not Confucious, not ANYONE but Jesus.  Jesus said in John 14:6 "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'  EXCEPT THROUGH ME!  Muhammed is a false prophet as is ALL the rest of the worlds religions.

Ben