I could use some advice. I am a devout Christian who is having unchristian thoughts.
Fist off, I am a recent widower (6 months) and, due to my wife's slow decline in health and her eventual death, have not had sexual relations with a woman for over 10 months (probably closer to 12 months since I did not keep a journal).
Recently, I was assigned to a new position at work. This threw me into close contact with a widow. She started talking to me and I came under the impression that she was interested in me. I told her quickly that I was a recent widower and was unavailable as I did not believe it would be right to start dating until after a least a year after my wife's death. She seemed to accept this.
So, what is the problem? She is a very attractive widow, and I can't seem to keep my eyes off her. If I am honest with myself, I am very sexually attracted to her and have often looke at her with lust in my eyes. I'm sure she has noticed that I am often looking at her. She doesn't seem to mind as she has not complained to either me or the boss. However, I need to know, what should I do? I can't seem to stop lusting after her. I do hope to ask her for a date sometime in the middle of next year and see where that goes. And, I certainly hope it does not lead to the bedroom untill, and unless, we get married.
Any advice would on how to curb this lusting of a beautiful grandmother of 8 would be appreciated!