Author Topic: How do you deal with lust?  (Read 12175 times)

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cs80918

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How do you deal with lust?
« on: Fri Sep 03, 2010 - 22:57:10 »
Something like 37% of pastors are addicted to porn.  That means many men in the churches must be dealing with the same thing.

Is this a struggle for you?  Not just porn, but lustful sexual images and thoughts.

I suggest everyone check out THE LIVING FREE  series by James Robinson and Robert Morris.

I have a feeling that the majority of christian men suffer defeat in this area, no wonder 50% of all chrisian marriages fail.

Many if not most people in any church are oppressed by some type of sin, I think the major reason for this is churches don't address it.  Also, most people don't want to admit the are so evil.

I admit it I need help and I'm working on improving through Jesus.  Pray for me and pray for the church.

I see that no men have responded, I know many of you are having problems dealing with lust too.
« Last Edit: Sun Sep 05, 2010 - 16:24:55 by cs80918 »

Offline christianvolume

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #1 on: Sun Sep 05, 2010 - 20:47:36 »
Not Even A Hint - From Joshua Harris is a Great Resource As well!

xxxchurch is bold but a good site for help too

The hardest but best thing is Accountability partners.


Offline zoonance

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #2 on: Sun Sep 05, 2010 - 20:50:58 »
sometimes great, othertimes it is more than a struggle.   I try to remember that Jesus deserves better.  Gets easier with age - not because the ladies are any less attractive, but rather because of maturity.   Still, they ain't ugly....

Offline christianvolume

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #3 on: Sun Sep 05, 2010 - 22:43:55 »
o forgot to add

every mans battle

is a good book too

or

every young mans battle

if you are younger

cs80918

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #4 on: Sun Sep 05, 2010 - 23:17:15 »
sometimes great, othertimes it is more than a struggle.   I try to remember that Jesus deserves better.  Gets easier with age - not because the ladies are any less attractive, but rather because of maturity.   Still, they ain't ugly....

It is also easier with age, because most men's sexual desire begins to decrease. Also, the accumulation of past mistakes helps bring into remembrance the pain of disobedience in this area.

We wonder why there are thousands upon thousands of sexual predators in society.  The world entices men to lust after women and even many women entice men to lust after them.


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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #4 on: Sun Sep 05, 2010 - 23:17:15 »



cs80918

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #5 on: Sun Sep 05, 2010 - 23:22:08 »
We allow our daughters to go on dates, we impulsive males and are shocked when bad things happen.

I as a male trust no male to behave if he was alone with my daughter.  I dare not put that much temptation in front of him.  I'm not going to sugar coat it, we are idiots if we do not protect the women in our lives from other men.

The bible says flee fornication, but we allow our daughters to be alone with a male who is not her husband?  That is encouraging sexual immorality, dramaticlly increasing the chances of assault.

There is no reason for non-married people to be alone.  None at all. 

Offline GabrieltheAngel

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #6 on: Mon Sep 06, 2010 - 15:17:45 »
Actually, the number is higher in regards to grave sins committed by Pastors on a regular basis.  Idol worshipping, lust, greed, pride, unfaithfulness, misleading their congregation, being luke warm in their faith, etc.  The list goes on and on and on, most are at best, simply bible study teachers, the ones that are left are carrying the load that's far in excess to their abilities.

Turn off the TV, surround yourself with wholesome imagry, with scripture, with things not of the world, and keep your home as a safe haven from this twisted and warped world we are subject to, but don't be afraid to spread the gospel to all, in spite of where they are at and what they are exposed to.  The holy spirit will convict those who he chooses, and those who ask of him for freedom.  Be brutally honest with yourself, and see without obstruction.

Garbage in/Garbage out, bottom line here guys.  Never, I mean never take every word your pastor is saying as the bottom line, don't be afraid to question them, and if they shy away from answering you, toss them to the curb, there is no room for self interest if you are a pastor.

Offline behindthewallofsleep

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #7 on: Wed Sep 08, 2010 - 23:06:45 »
The root of the porn issue, to my mind, is that it leads to a crap misogynist approach to women and sex. In theory, if it were possible to watch porn without going on to view women as sexual objects (and without supporting the often dreadful porn industry), there wouldn't be as much of an issue with it. I think that the real problem is the result of watching porn etc. rather than the act of doing so. I imagine that with the possible outcome in mind, it'd be easier to avoid it completely. I don't know how many people will agree with that or whatever. Would like to hear some thoughts.

p.rehbein

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #8 on: Fri Sep 10, 2010 - 08:02:58 »
When I enter any store, I make a strong effort to avoid the candy aisle.  At my age, a giant size Milky Way is about as lustful a thought as I have....................  ::smile::

Online yogi bear

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #9 on: Fri Sep 10, 2010 - 11:19:38 »
Oh I can relate we must be of the same age group

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #10 on: Fri Sep 10, 2010 - 11:25:31 »
Habits...moods...addictions...never go by prayer...they go by KICKING the crap out of them the second they enter the mind.

When you do that...you will find that you did what you thought you could not.

Visionary

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #11 on: Sat Sep 18, 2010 - 23:14:28 »
Lust of the flesh. The lust of the eyes. How can we as frail humans overcome this? The one who believes Jesus is the Son of God overcomes the world-even our faith. But you dont want that answer? Give me something tangible right?. OOO! She's hot or OOO! He's hot. Just think! FLESH PERISHES! As written, God has made everything beautiful in its time. And God has subjected creation to decay. Overcome Lust by the easiest way-old wrinkly decrepid...getting the picture? Thats you in the mirror!!! Suppose your lust is craving food or anything else appealing. Too much even of a good thing is eventually bad for your health. The results of extravagance more often do not appear immediately but later on in life. The Lord gives us a Spirit of self discipline and we must be trained by it so that we might reap a harvest of righteousness overcoming the world and its desires by our faith. God has given us his very great and precious promises by which we might share in his divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by our desires. God's promises are his desires for us. We must walk in them just as Jesus walked in them. Ecclesiastes. Everything is meaningless. To fear God is to love God is the end of the matter.

Offline Cally

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #12 on: Fri Oct 15, 2010 - 14:35:14 »
I would rather stock up on the Holy Spirit than join with a prostitute  ::sick::

1 Corinthians
6:13  "Foods for the belly, and the belly for foods," but God will bring to nothing both it and them. But the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
6:14 Now God raised up the Lord, and will also raise us up by his power.
6:15 Don't you know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be!
6:16 Or don't you know that he who is joined to a prostitute is one body? For, "The two," says he, "will become one flesh."{Genesis 2:24}
6:17 But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit.
6:18 Flee sexual immorality! "Every sin that a man does is outside the body," but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
6:19 Or don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God? You are not your own,
6:20 for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.

I am annoyed by the fact that this passage is so seldom referenced in depth when visiting this subject.

Proverbs--6:26 For a prostitute reduces you to a piece of bread. The adulteress hunts for your precious life.

The prostitute turns YOU into an object. Where's that garbage about not treating women like objects  ::reading:: (in terms of this subject, at least)? Nah, can't find it. No help, so I forgot about it.

I think the reason men (allegedly, at least) stumble with sexual immorality more than women is that we are simply not taught self-respect in the same way. Isn't my body fearfully and wonderfully made, bought to be the temple of the Holy Spirit? Shouldn't I spend my energies drinking and filling myself up with that, and not the filthy prostitute who attempts to objectify me?

But it's telling that you almost never hear these things taught to men.

Oh, and I don't listen to most women on this issue. 90% of the time they complain about men's lust issues out of their own insecurities and any actual concern for men's well-being is WAY on the back burner, if it's even there at all. This is very important, because such women are probably a large reason why the message of sexual purity has been so badly distorted from scripture.

Anyway, I don't really get fixated on "lust." I just don't think about it. I'm not the biggest people-person anyway, but there are lots of women out there that have a sort of "attractiveness" that only has the potential to be attractive for the wrong reasons. I'm on my own business, and I know self-respect. I wasn't warned or taught to do this correctly, but thankfully I had the help of scripture with this one.
« Last Edit: Fri Oct 15, 2010 - 14:53:47 by Cally »

Offline islanddogs

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #13 on: Sun Oct 17, 2010 - 07:22:00 »
It is difficult to keep the balance here.

Prostitutes are mainly driven into this by men, especially young women now predominantly traded through East Europe. They have an extreme view of men, often because men use them, to make money, for sex. Most Prostitutes have suffered physical violence by the man supposedly paying for the sex. The majority of the men are married, and living double lives, instead of having a discussion with their wives.

Men do need scripture and do need to Love God, part of the problem is too much self esteem, being centred on self and not others, and how they feel.

In regards to dating, if you talk to your daughters, and explain to them as they are becoming aware of men, if they feel safe talking to you, and re-assured that you wont judge, it will usually be fine. Many promiscous women, are the result of over protective families. It is about working out the timing of when they leave. Because our children will leave, its biblical.

Offline Lukasaurus

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #14 on: Mon Oct 18, 2010 - 18:09:58 »
You don't deal with lust. You can't. You flee from it to Jesus, who already dealt with it on the cross and His death is our life and freedom.

http://www.puritynow.com

I don't want to spam this site on these forums, but I believe that the truth which God has taught me in my addiction and problem and freedom is one that I want to share with others - His grace is sufficient for thee in all matters of faith, addiction, healing etc. You can't overcome sin on your own. You can't overcome sin if you try to do it. You just have to let God do it by faith.

Offline Jami Sell

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #15 on: Thu Oct 28, 2010 - 15:33:17 »
I deal with lust in the same way that I prevent forest fires.  I don't strike the match!

Lust begins in the thoughts and then gets to be a part of the belief system where you "feel" it in the heart.  If you focus on the "heart feeling" you will soon "feel" it a little lower than your heart.... if you get what I mean...

The way to deal with lust is to renew the mind with thoughts that do not contain lustful things.  While most men say they can't help themselves in these matters it is because they quickly get to the "lower than your heart feeling" and by that time you are a slave to your own biology.  The point being, don't let yourself get to that phase of the process.  Change your thinking about women, sex, and sexual things.  If you work on your thoughts, they will change your belief system, and your belief system will change the "feelings" that tend to go further South and end up as biology.

If you are having a problem you will have to be honest and admit that you "think" about sexual matters in a very lustful context.  CHANGE THAT CONTEXT AND RENEW THE WAY YOU THINK AND LOOK AT SEX AND WOMEN.  I'm 52 years old but I was doing this when I was 11.  I have, and always have had, a deep conviction to honor and protect all women.  If a stray thought emerges that does not honor and protect one of these dear people I send it running! 

And let me say this.  It is completely normal to notice a woman's beauty.  What is not normal is to become selfish in your thinking about this person's beauty.  Look at it this way, I know some young men in their twenties and they are muscular and as strong as can be.  I see them for what they are but I don't see them in a sexual context.  That is because the very "thought" of this is repulsive and deviant.  If a sexual thought of that nature were ever to enter my mind I would kick it out immediately!!! 

That's the same kind of attitude I have about "selfish" thoughts about dear women I see!  I am repulsed to even consider "thinking" about this or that dear person in that light!!!  If you want to deal with lust then you have to get to this kind of thinking and kick those thoughts out before they become your biology.

Offline truby

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #16 on: Sun Oct 31, 2010 - 11:26:55 »
I agree with Lukasaurus,
I once heard that instead of fleeing sin (lust) the way Joseph did in Genesis 39:12, we too often crawl away hoping that sin will catch up with us. For me, what I have found very helpful is not to entertain even the possibility of lust. I try not to ever put myself in a compromising situation from the start. Things like having a lot of single friends of the opposite sex which could lead to talking on the phone, or even going out to lunch together, alone. People often find themselves in the bed with someone and wonder how it "just happen." Some of us just don't need to be alone with members of the opposite sex...period! Then there are those who think they can handle it. Bottom line is, don't put any comfidents in the flesh. Always be led by the Holy Spirit.

 ::smile::

Offline DaleinTn

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #17 on: Tue Nov 09, 2010 - 11:00:36 »
I would like to add that the fathers should teach their daughters to dress appropriately!  I have an 8 year old and I am now seeing her start dressing "worldly."  I have talked with my wife about this and I have had her change before going out.  We have to live in this world, but we don't have to be "in" this world.  The Devil knows that men are visual.  We have to be on guard all the time.  I drive a tractor-trailer for a living and you would be surprised what I can see from the drivers seat.  Now when I see something I shouldn't, I keep my eyes straight in front of me and start praying for the strength to not look back.  And you know what, IT WORKS!  I think we have to really want the victory from sin.  I think we must flee the Devil, not crawl away hoping that he will catch us.  Just my two cents.

Offline Juggernaut

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #18 on: Tue Nov 16, 2010 - 06:04:58 »
  For me I simply have to keep my mind occupied.  This world has so much to give but not everything is meant for us.  The devil tempts us with lust but we have to turn away from it as soon as it presents itself.  I try to think of the greater rewards in Heaven because this world is only temporary.  I read my Bible, lift weights, work on my car, spend time w/ my family,etc.  As long as I keep myself busy there will be no time to even deal w/ lust.  It takes discipline but that whats God is there to do, He's always willing to help anytime of the day.  Stay encouraged!

Offline canuck

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #19 on: Tue Nov 16, 2010 - 22:07:39 »
On the lighter side, I thought I'd share this.
A former pastor of mine once quoted Billy Graham's view on lust, describing its
rise in the minds of young men not when they first behold an attractive lady but occurring after they have considered her charms and then decide to take a second look.
The secret then to check lust is to make the first look a long one.

canuck

Offline Berndt Totterman

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #20 on: Wed Nov 17, 2010 - 02:34:52 »
Jesus,our Lords peace be with You.
Dear friend,we all deal with lust in our own way,I pick up my Rosary and keep it in my hands,and avoid simply things that may be a source to lust. It is not always easy,but give it time,and You will find out a way to deal with it.

Offline INJ

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #21 on: Sat Jul 23, 2011 - 16:52:27 »
God gives us all the power to live a Godly life and say no to sin. If we say we cannot overcome we either do not know what Jesus did or if we do then we are focusing too much on our human frailty. God always makes a way if we trust him.

To some people this may sound too incredible. It has a lot to do with correct teaching, encouragement and support. But probably relationships with people who have learnt to overcome are the most important practical helps.

An easy way to stop yourself looking at porn is to sell your computer, or make a covenant with another so you only go on it with someone present.
« Last Edit: Sun Aug 14, 2011 - 04:32:57 by INJ »

cs80918

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #22 on: Sat Aug 13, 2011 - 12:45:14 »
Thank God for the grace he has given you Jami Sell and all the other men who have overcome this through Christ our lord.

Offline Storm

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #23 on: Tue Sep 20, 2011 - 19:17:07 »
Lust has been a big struggle of mine for a while! Im trying to work on it, but fail often. I have had a problem with using porn before marriage, and then once married struggling with remaining aroused without the porn involved. Still struggle with this type of stuff...I try to be strong...fail...try to be strong...fail...etc...You are not alone!

Offline INJ

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #24 on: Thu Sep 22, 2011 - 17:04:02 »
If we struggle against sin it has mastery over us, but if we stop and consider ourselves dead and focus on the Lord then we have already overcome. To some this may sound unreal or false, but it is not just a matter of faith, but in ceasing from our own works.

If I focus on the Lord, and worship. We do not sin. As soon as we stop worshiping we sin. We should always set aside Jesus as Lord in our hearts.

NOw again, to some people what I am saying may not make sense. The bottom line is this. We cannot beat sin at all unless we surrender to God completely. But remember that Jesus has already dealt with sin. Remember that if we do sin we have an advocate. Remember that the power of God is within us because the hope of glory is in us. We need revelation, personally from the Lord to get this.

Offline JohnnyLew

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #25 on: Fri Sep 23, 2011 - 08:39:37 »
Not successfully!  Pleasures of the flesh are very strong.  It is a battle I will lose about 40 % of the time.  The thing I realize is, it is one of my many sins and I battle frequently.  I ask for the temptation to be taken away.  It works.  I do fall victim to things.  I ask for forgiveness.  It is all I can do.  i lov my wife and she is pretty and just way more wonderful than I even deserve.  Lust is definitley a tool the devil uses frequently.  We should continue to pray for one another in this arena for sure! 
JL

Offline INJ

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Re: How do you deal with lust?
« Reply #26 on: Sat Sep 24, 2011 - 05:16:42 »
Not successfully!  Pleasures of the flesh are very strong.  It is a battle I will lose about 40 % of the time.  The thing I realize is, it is one of my many sins and I battle frequently.  I ask for the temptation to be taken away.  It works.  I do fall victim to things.  I ask for forgiveness.  It is all I can do.  i lov my wife and she is pretty and just way more wonderful than I even deserve.  Lust is definitley a tool the devil uses frequently.  We should continue to pray for one another in this arena for sure!  
JL

Lust is from the sinful nature of mans heart. It is of the flesh, it is not the devil. We live with carnality, we cannot overcome. but praise God Jesus has overcome and made us more than conquerers. The problem is we think sins is part of us, but we are a new creation. When we forget that our struggle is not our own this we lose. It is about the mind, what we focus upon, what we surround ourselves with, what we talk about, how we discipline our lives. We can be transformed if we replace our carnal, religious reason with revelation from Gods's word.

But God is not interested in external behaviour, he is interested in the heart. Now, I am going to say something that you may totally disagree with, but if you do I challenge you to contradict me with the word of God and the knowledge you have of Jesus Christ and his finished work.

God is not interested in your sin. If you have Jesus Christ as your saviour it is a done deal. He has forgiven your past, present and future sins. But most Christians believe that once born again that should  improve themselves in the flesh. There is no point doing this because it is still carnal and cannot beat sin. YOU ARE AN OVERCOMER IF YOU HAVE JESUS CHRIST. Once you consider yourselves dead to sin, by faith, once you consider the word of God is true and you are dead and the life you live is through Jesus Christ. Once you become God conscious and not earthly conscious, you will begin to see victory. Not through effort, but through the power of the new nature create in Christ Jesus to be like him.

Satan wants us to focus on sin, he wants to remind us of failure and convince us that we are not new creations, but we are. The enemy of our souls uses pornography and sex to so consume us we do not focus on God and worship him. Scripture tells us we can boldly come to the throne of grace.

Grab the truth of God with both hands, come to God and just thank him for his grace, mercy and provision. He will no lead you into temptation and he will give you instruction on what to do as you spend time looking to him and not reminding him of your sin.

Stop confessing your sin to God. Why not? Surely it is what scripture demands? No it isn't confession is about agreeing with God, it is about agreeing with his word, it is about speaking Gods word and thanking him for his provision. It is acknowledging that sin has been done away with through Jesus Christ.

Recognise that the Holy Spirit leads believers into all truth. It does not convict us regarding sin, but the world. Read it and find out. God wants us to focus on him and once our minds are thinking on things above we will not gratify the sinful nature.

 ::playingguitar::
« Last Edit: Thu Oct 20, 2011 - 05:48:12 by INJ »