Author Topic: My wife has a secret  (Read 4711 times)

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Offline SolitaryDisciple

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My wife has a secret
« on: November 27, 2011, 09:31:11 PM »
I have asked about this subject before, and I was disappointed by the responses. Please do not be rude, condescending, mean, or cruel. Remember, Christ loves people. Christ is compassion. I need help desperately. This is most certainly NOT a joke. I am not a troll. I am a real man with real feelings. My wife is a real woman with real feelings. I ask you to treat this subject matter very, very seriously. I ask you- no, I implore you- please be open minded. Please be slow to judgment, because you may find yourself very swift to judge us. Think about this- what if I were your blood relative, and I were in this situation? Would you still respond with quick judgments and condemnation, or would you, instead, reach out in love and respect to me? Please- treat me as if I am your brother.

My wife and I have been married three years. When we first met, I knew nothing about this topic. About six months after meeting my wife, she confessed something to me. She said that she had an intimate encounter with an animal. The way that she spoke of it, I was under the impression that it was just a one time thing. I thought that she was ashamed, embarrassed, and that it would never happen again.

Later on, she said that the feelings for having intimacy with animals returned at times. I told her that we would pray about it if that ever came up.

Just within the past few weeks, my wife confessed that she had an encounter of a sexual nature with an animal. Then tonight, she confessed to two other encounters. These three encounters have happened while we have been married. I feel disturbed, hurt, and a little bit betrayed. However, I told her that I appreciated her telling me the truth now.

My wife does not see eye to eye with me on this issue. I told her that she is sinning. She refuses to see it as a sin. I have invited her to come with me to church, but she will not come. We both have social anxiety, but I suspect that she doesn't want to go to church for fear of being found out or judged harshly. At least one person suggested (on this very Forum) that my wife should be killed. God forbid. She is a HUMAN BEING. She is a PERSON. I do not want any harm to come to her! I love her! But I cannot speak with anyone about this, because she asked me to keep this a secret. She is afraid of being found out and rejected by her family and friends. She says that people are born gay. She says that she was born this way. She told me that she has always had sexual attraction to animals. She was exposed to pornography at a very young age, and I think that it may have twisted her mind. I do not know what to do anymore! We have discussed divorce. My wife wants to have animals for the purposes of sex. I have told her no, but she is saying that she is going to do it anyway. Another major problem: she wants children, and I don't.

Please help me. I am afraid that this is going to end the marriage, and I do not want that to happen. My wife is suicidal, and she is deeply despondent every single day. I also struggle with severe, terrible depression. Please help me. What should I do? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Please help. My wife just literally sat down next to me right now as I am typing, and she asked me to kill her. She is suicidal. I am very, very, very scared. What can we do? Will you please please pray for us? Thank you for being kind. Please respond with kindness and understanding. Please don't condemn us anymore.

cs80918

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2011, 09:42:13 PM »
Sorry to hear this.  It sounds like you became unequally yoke (married a non-christian).

The bible warns of this.  If she wants to divorce you then you are free to marry someone else, just think you can marry someone younger, fitter or prettier and a christian.

Why would you want your children to be taught by this woman? 

Think about this, some people were "born with" the desire to molest children.  Does it make it right?

Some people were "born with" the desire to kill people does it make it right?

I suggest fasting and praying, if that doesn't work I suggest divorce.

If she is okay with sex with animals, what else is she ok with?  Is she ok with orgies?  Is she okay with swinging?  Is she ok with sex outside marriage?

Is there anything on this earth that she considers wrong?

Look if you can corner her thoughts and get her to admit something is wrong then you can work on her.

If she says child rape is wrong then, tell her that people were born that way and in her own words, since they were born that way it is not wrong.

larry2

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2011, 11:21:27 PM »
Dear SolitaryDisciple, I'm sorry to hear of further activity in this matter. I have nothing but compassion for you in this matter concerning someone you love. There is treatment available though she may not want a fix for her situation. The following link suggest different methods of dealing with Zoophilia, and if it is not satisfactory I'm sure there are other sources. For your wife to also be suicidal may indicate she is not happy with that animal contact either.

From what I have just read about it, there are grave dangerous diseases associated with that behavior also, and I will not hesitate to pray for you in Jesus' name.

http://www.rightdiagnosis.com/z/zoophilia/treatments.htm

Treatment List for Zoophilia
The list of treatments mentioned in various sources for Zoophilia includes the following list. Always seek professional medical advice about any treatment or change in treatment plans.
•   Psychoanalysis, hypnosis, behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, drug therapy
•   If treatment is sought, options may include:
•   Psychoanalysis
•   Hypnosis
•   Behavior therapy
•   Cognitive therapy
•   Drug therapy
•   These conditions present treatment challenges, because they are often concealed, and are often associated with guilt and shame. They are generally treated with psychotherapy and/or medication. The type and setting (inpatient vs outpatient) of treatment utilised is dependant upon the degree of dysfunction the condition causes, as well as the threat the behaviours pose to others
•   Treatments include:
•   Psychotherapy:
o   Cognitive behavioural therapy
o   Orgasmic reconditioning
o   Individual expressive-supportive psychotherapy
•   Group therapy
•   12 step programs - Similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, designed for sexual addicts
•   Social skills training and sex education
•   Hypnosis
•   Medications
o   Antidepressants
o   Long-acting gonadotropin-releasing hormones (GnRH, ie, medical castration)
o   Antiandrogens
o   Phenothiazine
o   Mood stabilizers

Offline johndoo

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2011, 03:35:45 PM »
If your wife is suicidal , please go to a local emergency room to get immediate psychiatric help.

She needs help from a psychiatrist and a sex therapist.
 

Offline RenewmeLord

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2011, 11:39:29 AM »
Coming out from sex addiction (any form of it) myself...I would say..Does your wife really love you and Do you really love your wife?....Jesus loves her as much as he loves you ..you know...I have been unfaithful and caught several times viewing porn...And it has destroyed  the intimacy in my marriage....I know that it has made my wife not want to have much to do with me sexually...But I do know this...I need her more now than I ever have..But she hasn't recovered from the hurt yet, it's apparent..Because sex is not a topic we deal with well......But I know in my heart of hearts I do not deserve her love...But I feel that if she could somehow overcome the hurt I've imposed on her and take back the intimacy (sexually) that it would help us both to work through the issues of infidelity easier.....Praying for you brother....Renewmelord!

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2011, 11:39:29 AM »



Offline Link

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2011, 05:02:59 PM »
Just within the past few weeks, my wife confessed that she had an encounter of a sexual nature with an animal. Then tonight, she confessed to two other encounters. These three encounters have happened while we have been married. I feel disturbed, hurt, and a little bit betrayed. However, I told her that I appreciated her telling me the truth now.

My wife does not see eye to eye with me on this issue. I told her that she is sinning. She refuses to see it as a sin. I have invited her to come with me to church, but she will not come. We both have social anxiety, but I suspect that she doesn't want to go to church for fear of being found out or judged harshly. At least one person suggested (on this very Forum) that my wife should be killed. God forbid. She is a HUMAN BEING. She is a PERSON. I do not want any harm to come to her! I love her! But I cannot speak with anyone about this, because she asked me to keep this a secret. She is afraid of being found out and rejected by her family and friends. She says that people are born gay. She says that she was born this way. She told me that she has always had sexual attraction to animals. She was exposed to pornography at a very young age, and I think that it may have twisted her mind. I do not know what to do anymore! We have discussed divorce. My wife wants to have animals for the purposes of sex. I have told her no, but she is saying that she is going to do it anyway. Another major problem: she wants children, and I don't.

Please help me. I am afraid that this is going to end the marriage, and I do not want that to happen. My wife is suicidal, and she is deeply despondent every single day. I also struggle with severe, terrible depression. Please help me. What should I do? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Please help. My wife just literally sat down next to me right now as I am typing, and she asked me to kill her. She is suicidal. I am very, very, very scared. What can we do? Will you please please pray for us? Thank you for being kind. Please respond with kindness and understanding. Please don't condemn us anymore.

Someone posted a verse from the Old Testament in the last thread where God said that if a woman approached an animal to have sex with it, that she was to be put to death.  The animal was to be killed, too.  I don't think anyone was suggesting that you kill your wife.  But God did tell the Israelites to kill those who had sex with animals.  The point is that your wife has committed a heinous sin.  Btw, God also told the Israelites to put to death those among them who were idolators, who cursed their parents, or who were adulterers, and men who engaged in homosexual acts with other men.  The land of Israel vomitted out its Gentile inhabitants for engaging in adultery, homosexual acts, and beastiality. 

Your wife needs the Lord.  She needs to repent.  Does she believe the Bible, on a theoretical level?  I think it would do her good to read those verses about this sin just to see how vile it is in the site of God so that she will realize that this really is sin.  She needs to repent and get delivered from this. 


happypromises

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2011, 06:37:22 AM »
It sounds as though your wife was sexualised at an early age, so it's not a surprise that she won't find it 'wrong' - she has probably never known anything different.   

I know nothing about this particualr subject but I do know a little about sexual addiction, which is what she is facing.  We have an inherent social and cultural distate and abhorrence to this kind of thing but it is still a sexual addiction which can be cured, with the power of God and some intensive therapy.

What your wife has issues with is NOT the problem - that is just a symptom of something desperately broken and disordered in her mind and spirit.   She has learned from an early age how to 'escape' from these terrible feelings and brokenness in her life and this has become her drug of choice.  Showing her Bible verses and pointing out that it is wrong won't do anything - you and she HAVE to tackle the root cause.

If she is suicidal, then it's clear this is not giving her the happiness she thinks it does - in fact, it is pretty much eating her alive.  It cannot end well, unless she decides to confront it in specialised (Christian!) counselling and allow her mind to be transformed by the amazing, love of Christ.   There is no sin, nothing so disgusting that Jesus cannot heal and fix, if the person really wants to be set free from it.    I KNOW this is true because I have seen it.   But the more she feeds it, acts on it, refuses to face it, the worse it will get.    Worse still, she could get caught and the public shame of that may destroy her completely.

There is a way out - but she needs to take immediate steps to finding a Christian psychiatrist who can begin the healing process.

Offline Apag

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2012, 07:15:26 AM »
If I where in your shoes and the woman I loved was saying and doing these things I would stay with her and do everything I could to help her. I would also think I was a fool.

I don't know if there is a right or wrong choice for you. Just choices you will have to live with for the rest of your life. So thing long and hard about it and do your best.


Offline TomMoney

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2012, 04:46:04 AM »
Honestly. i do believe that in your case you should not consider divorce and option, when you married that woman you said util death do you part, and you promised to cherish and love her though the good times and the bad times. Obviously, sex with animals is wrong, but i think that the level of judgment and disgust we put upon those who do it comes from us humans, and is not from God. He called us all to love equal, and not to judge.

BUT I IMPLORE YOU IF NOTHING ELSE, IF YOUR WIFE IS SHOWING SERIOUS SIGNS OF SUICIDE, YOU NEED TO TAKE IMIIDEATE ACTION, NOW, THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN HAVING SOMEONE YOU LOVE TELL YOU THEIR SUICIDAL, YOU DO NOTHING ABOUT IT AND THEN THEY FOLLOW THOUGH, THINK OF THE GUILT YOU'LL HAVE TO LIVE WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, AND LET THAT MOTIVATE YOU TO TAKE ACTION DO SOMETHING NOW!

Offline ivanlampson

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #9 on: February 29, 2012, 03:52:03 AM »
 Beloved thats a demon disturbing your wife.you need to go with your wife for a total deliverance session.Jesus will break that demon off your wife.

Offline Carwhisperer

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #10 on: March 02, 2012, 03:20:44 PM »
SolitaryDisciple, I almost cried when I read your post. I just prayed for you. Hang in there my brother. She needs your love. It seems that she really knows it is wrong despite what she has said. Perhaps you might suggest the Genesis process. I just started it. It is available at my local church in Sacramento and I would assume elsewhere. It might be just what she needs.

Offline Ibanez888

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Re: My wife has a secret
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2012, 12:37:38 PM »
Listen man I want to support you as much as I and my fiance are able to.

I haven't been in your situation but I've been through a divorce, 6 years of alcoholism, self harm, satanism & witchcraft and I can tell you - no matter HOW black your situation seems the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob can break satan's power in a moment of time.

Please feel free to drop me an email to [email protected] and I will pray for you or encourage you in any way I can.

May God Bless you BOTH

Dave