Author Topic: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day  (Read 16038 times)

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Offline SolitaryDisciple

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Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« on: Thu Nov 03, 2011 - 20:22:52 »
I want to present a fair representation of both sides of this issue. I like to be the recipient of oral sex, but I don't like giving it. My wife loves me very much, and I her. When we first got together, oral sex was the only sexual contact that we had. 90 percent of the time, she was providing, and 10 percent, I was servicing her. I told her that I had an experience long ago that turned me off to giving oral sex to a woman. She knew about that event. Both of us are pretty honest and transparent about sexual history. My wife feels like the only thing I ever want is oral. To be fair, I ask for it pretty much every single day. I am actually conversing with her right now, as I type this. She just told me that she doesn't have a problem with giving me oral sex, the problem is that it is the only thing I ever ask about or for. She kind of feels some slight resentment towards me, because she wants more romance in the marriage. She wants me to proposition her instead, and ask to provide for her. She just wants me to be loving and sensitive towards her needs- not just sexual needs, but also emotional, physical, etc. Perhaps I have failed her in that regard. A few years ago, she kind of asked me if I would like to receive oral every day when I wake up. Of course, I was excited. Who wouldn't be? So she sort of gave me the idea that she would be doing it for me every day. Our sex life isn't that hot anymore. We make love maybe once a month. She gives me oral maybe once every 3 weeks or so. I don't want to be mean, or rude, or insensitive. She appears to be irritated because oral sex is the only thing that I ask for in terms of sexual contact. I often do a lot of extra favors for my wife, like cooking for her, feeding the pets, washing clothes, etc. I also do all of the driving, and all of the shopping, etc. I feel like I should have the right to ask for it. In fact, I sort of feel like I shouldn't even have to ask or beg for it. She feels like I only want oral. I also care about her feelings, too. I don't want to hurt her feelings. But this is becoming a more serious problem as time goes on. She builds up some feelings of resentment towards me. Whenever I ask for oral, she gets angry, and says "that's all you want, isn't it?" Or she will say "I would give it to you if you DIDN'T ask for it." I am very frustrated. So is my wife. Who is in the wrong here? What can we do about this issue to resolve it?

Offline FireSword

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #1 on: Thu Nov 03, 2011 - 20:29:21 »
Forget that perversion and have normal sex.  ::sleepingsoundly::

Offline FireSword

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #2 on: Thu Nov 03, 2011 - 20:45:42 »
The emphasis of such an activity shows that pleasure and not love is the driving force in the relationship. How can a couple bond and grow in love for one another, when the main focus is pleasuring self.


Offline howard

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #3 on: Thu Nov 03, 2011 - 21:13:51 »
here is something you should know

Definition of SODOMY

 : anal or oral copulation with a member of the same or opposite sex; also: copulation with an animal

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sodomy

Offline anx

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #4 on: Thu Nov 03, 2011 - 21:49:41 »
There are a ton of red flags that light up for me from what you wrote. Meet with your pastor. Be prepared for hard work. Do your hardest work reading christian marriage books NOW.

Your marriage in is crisis. Put in 110 % until it is fixed. Truly examine your own actions and expectations. Get in the bible and before God.

Blessings.

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #4 on: Thu Nov 03, 2011 - 21:49:41 »



Offline SolitaryDisciple

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #5 on: Thu Nov 03, 2011 - 22:13:50 »
I appreciate the responses so far. However, I also feel very judged. In the Bible, it says that the marriage bed is not defiled. I think that in the Song of Solomon, it alludes to oral sex. My wife and I are faithful to one another, so I don't quite understand why I am being judged a pervert.

This is one reason why some Fundamentalist type Christians bother me. Some of them are so incredibly swift to judge people. They judge people so fast that it makes people's heads spin round and round. If you think that you are without sin, very well. Throw your stones at me.

I came to this forum to engage in honest discussions, not to be judged. Perhaps my appetites are sinful. But I honestly do not see anything at all wrong with two grown adults who are married to one another doing things besides the missionary position. Geez folks, I thought that I (emphatic) was too uptight. Perhaps I do have to address the sin in my life, but that is my business, not yours. It just seems to me that it is the epitome of arrogance to judge other people for their sins without first addressing your own. Jesus said something in relation to this, about pointing one's fingers at a splinter in his brother's eye, but not seeing the plank in one's own.

I also feel like I am being accused of not loving my wife, which I resent. I resent that implication intensely. Perhaps I am selfish. Perhaps I am "perverted." Maybe I am sinning. But I am angry that anyone would intimate that I do not love my wife!

Offline FireSword

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #6 on: Thu Nov 03, 2011 - 22:34:11 »
As for me I was not judging you personally. Just a general idea of how couples grow in love for one another, why should that be fundementalist, for a relationship to work healthier.

If you go and pay top dollar to a shrink and he tells you so and so, is he a fundementalist?


Offline anx

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #7 on: Thu Nov 03, 2011 - 22:42:58 »
Both your wife and you have stuff to work out TOGETHER. that is neither fundamentalist or secular.

The place where you are at isn't healthy. You are both making mistakes and acting selfishly or simply not empathizing with the other person.

Sex has died because you haven't come to an agreement that works. You push and she shuts off. Asking for oral sex every day and getting sex as infrequently as you do is a sign of a huge issue. Even a secular forum would say so.

Get counseling or talk to a pastor asap. Your marriage is in crisis. Your wife is telling you plainly that there are big issues.

Post the exact same thing on a secular forum and the advise will be the same or may simply tell you to leave your wife.

The fact is that it doesn't matter that you love your wife, she DOESN'T FEEL LOVED. she is telling you how to fix that. Understand what that means now not months or years from now. You have limited time to fix this and understand your part in this.

You can learn more that now or in the months and years after she resents you so much she has separated or divorced you.

Blessings
« Last Edit: Thu Nov 03, 2011 - 23:03:04 by anx »

Offline mark s

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #8 on: Fri Nov 04, 2011 - 02:59:13 »
Not judging, but it's pretty obvious t me you love your pleasure more than you love her.  I don't dispute that you love your wife.  I'm just saying it looks to me for all the world that you love yourself more, and you are acting like it.

What if you were to forget about yourself, and what you want to serve your own pleasure, and commit yourself to loving her.

And when I say "loving", I mean, devoting yourself wholeheartedly, and without reservation, to her spiritual, emotional, and physical well being.

And where it says Love is Patient, well, keep that in mind.  I'm suggesting that you try this approach for a few years, and see where it takes you.  I believe you will find a wife beyond your imagination.


Love in Christ,
Mark

Offline howard

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #9 on: Fri Nov 04, 2011 - 03:45:54 »
I appreciate the responses so far. However, I also feel very judged. In the Bible, it says that the marriage bed is not defiled. I think that in the Song of Solomon, it alludes to oral sex. My wife and I are faithful to one another, so I don't quite understand why I am being judged a pervert.

This is one reason why some Fundamentalist type Christians bother me. Some of them are so incredibly swift to judge people. They judge people so fast that it makes people's heads spin round and round. If you think that you are without sin, very well. Throw your stones at me.

I came to this forum to engage in honest discussions, not to be judged. Perhaps my appetites are sinful. But I honestly do not see anything at all wrong with two grown adults who are married to one another doing things besides the missionary position. Geez folks, I thought that I (emphatic) was too uptight. Perhaps I do have to address the sin in my life, but that is my business, not yours. It just seems to me that it is the epitome of arrogance to judge other people for their sins without first addressing your own. Jesus said something in relation to this, about pointing one's fingers at a splinter in his brother's eye, but not seeing the plank in one's own.

I also feel like I am being accused of not loving my wife, which I resent. I resent that implication intensely. Perhaps I am selfish. Perhaps I am "perverted." Maybe I am sinning. But I am angry that anyone would intimate that I do not love my wife!

according to the word of of God the definiton of love is this



Romans 13

 8Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.

 9For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

 10Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

the emotion that we show in the flesh is lust. It take time to overcome the lust of the flesh

1 John 2:16
 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
 
keep in mind that the Lord did not teach man about sex, satan did.


Offline johndoo

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #10 on: Fri Nov 04, 2011 - 04:57:56 »
A few thoughts. 
It sounds as if your wife is passive aggressive.  The key reason I say that is the statement "I'd do it if you didn't ask".   Her words say yes but her actions say no.  This is a classic PA feature.  Words and actions don't agree.  This is very difficult to confront. 

Perhaps the two of you or through counseling could come to a timeframe and be held accountable.

I certainly don't doubt that you love her.  Perhaps the book "His Needs, Her Needs" would help you focus on the things that she interprets as love.  It is different for everyone. 

Just because you have issues from the past doesn't give you the right to ignore them.  There in lies the rub in many marriages.  We are asked to work on our toughest issues and it isn't easy. 

God bless you.  A sex therapist or a marriage counselor could help if you can't get through it on your own.

Offline DaveW

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #11 on: Fri Nov 04, 2011 - 05:25:02 »
here is something you should know

Definition of SODOMY

 : anal or oral copulation with a member of the same or opposite sex; also: copulation with an animal

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sodomy

That is a modern english definition and has little to do with the biblical definition.  BTW - sodomy is PROHIBITED in the bible.

Oral is NOT included in the biblical definition.

Offline Jaime

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #12 on: Fri Nov 04, 2011 - 06:20:49 »
As to the opening post, be magnanimous and ask her every other day.

Offline Catholica

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #13 on: Fri Nov 04, 2011 - 09:10:44 »
I guess I feel bad for you, because for the most part the advice that people have given you is either inane or insensitive.

Let me say this first: your wife is telling you her legitimate needs, and you need to meet them for her.  Otherwise there is no way that you are going to have a loving, intimate love life.  Marriage is a two-way street, she needs to feel loved to want to be intimate with you also.

Your request for this act every day, or even in general, needs to cease.  She does not feel loved, and feels that she has been reduced to a person that performs an act for you.  That is very degrading for her, obviously.  Your request, in fact, has become abusive, and I know that sounds harsh, but she is being hurt by something, and one thing she has indicated is your constant demand for this.

Your job as a husband is to love your wife as Christ loves his Church.  Christ loved his Church by making a complete and utter self-sacrifice of everything he had, including his life.  In the vows of your marriage it is likely that you vowed to honor and cherish your wife.  Its time to start fulfilling your vows.

You need to spend time with your wife and get to know her.  I would suggest taking sex off the table altogether for awhile so that you can both know that your intentions are sincere and not selfish.  It might seem hard for you for awhile, but consider this: what you are doing right now is worse, both hurting your marriage, your wife's heart, AND you are not able to be truly intimate with her ever.

I would not be surprised if you continue in the fashion that you are going now that in a couple years your marriage will end.  You need to take action right now, step up and be a real man who serves his family and makes his wife feel loved.  Stop asking for oral sex, in fact fast from it.  Give it up for a long time, and wait until she offers it to you again on her own accord and when she is ready.  That will likely come when you do your job as a husband and start loving her.  Keep demanding it and you will lose it forever.  Remember that it is in dying that God gives us life.  Die to your selfish desires (and that is what a demand for this type of sex is, selfish) and be a man for your wife and love her the way she needs, and God will help her heart heal and provide for you both a good and happy marriage.

I will pray for you also, and I hope that you will both commit to pray about this together.
« Last Edit: Fri Nov 04, 2011 - 09:22:14 by Catholica »

Offline Link

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #14 on: Wed Nov 23, 2011 - 21:40:50 »
You've got to stop asking your wife for oral sex.  That is no way to approach your wife on this topic.  This is a very selfish request,  "Hey babe, can we do something that only satisfies my sexual needs, but not yours?"  Why don't you just ask your wife to have sex with you, or do whatever you do to get her in the mood and let nature take its course?  Be a giving lover instead of a taker.  How would you feel if she was always asking you to do that for her, but not giving you anything in return? 

I think you need to rethink the mentality that taking out the trash or whatever earns you the right to oral sex.  Married couples are supposed to give each other 'due benevolence.'  So it is right to expect your wife to take care of your sexual needs.  But what we know people did in the Bible was intercourse, since sex in the Bible is often followed by having babies. 

Btw, the only verse I know of that might refer to oral sex is in the Song of Solomon, and it is about a woman's navel having wine in it.  Some people think that 'navel' might be a euphemism for another part of the body, based on the fact that it was used that way in Arabic.  Btw, I think that is a HUGE leap, to go from Arabic to Hebrew.  But, be that as it may, people argue that the verse is about a man performing oral sex on a woman.  I am not familiar with a verse about the other way around.  Sorry. 

Btw, it sounds like you have a lot of other emotional issues going on there besides sex.  You guys need to pray about any kind of ill will and resentment between the two of you.  You also need to pray about loving her like Christ loves the church.

Offline Wycliffes_Shillelagh

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #15 on: Thu Nov 24, 2011 - 12:26:03 »
Figure it out.

What's your sex drive?  Every day?
What's her sex drive?  1 a week? 2? 3? 7?

Make sure you get her needs filled and I doubt she'll mind getting yours filled as well.

Offline FireSword

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #16 on: Thu Nov 24, 2011 - 13:06:45 »
Important thing is to put Christ first. Never put your wife first.

Jesus or Father can help you overcome many temptations and help you be patient with your wife.


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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #17 on: Sat Dec 10, 2011 - 07:27:45 »
I agree with the others, that somehow, your marriage has become about what you want...rather than what she wants.   That is NOT to judge you but I can guarantee you, that if you put this 'on the shelf' for a set amount of time and devote yourself to loving her in the best way you possibly can, everything else will naturally follow.   

I thought it was interesting that you said you were posting on here and talking to her at the same time...and I think that's part of the problem.   You need to really listen to what she's saying, she's craving your attention, emotional intimacy, affection and some romance and because she's not 'feeling' that, she feels resentful and to be honest, probably quite cheated at the thought of pleasuring you. 

All of this stuff should flow from gratitude and love and respect and at the moment, she doesn't feel like you do.   

My suggestion, literally take this off the agenda for a month or two - and I mean TOTALLY.   And then, with no thought to what you might or might not get in return, love her unconditionally, plan a romantic date (even if you can't afford to go out, have a night at home alone, light some candles, and just listen and talk), buy her flowers (or pick some), do all the things around the house that she has asked you to do, be spontaneous - if you have kids, volunteer to take them out for an afternoon so she can spend some time reading or having some time with her friends.   SHOW her you love her by giving yourself to her, expecting nothing in return.  That's love, the Bible way and the best way.    At first, she might be suspicious and think you're doing it to get your own way....but prove her wrong, you're doing it simply because you love her.   And don't give up.   When you put her first, you will be utterly amazed at what will follow.

Don't wait till tomorrow.  Do it now.   Sit her down and say you love her and you want this to work, ask her what she wants and then do whatever she asks.   It will work.   

Offline fcadcock

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #18 on: Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 16:01:54 »
My $.02:

First, go out and buy a copy of the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  Actually, buy two; one for her, one for you.  Read the books together and talk about what it says.  Don't worry, they've been out in paperback for years and they're cheap.  For less than $20 you can have much better advice about this exact topic than any of us can easily give.

Second, she has a very valid point if all you want is oral sex.  What does she get out of the deal?  You've already stated that you don't "return the favor."  She is right to resent you. 

You want to know how to get it without asking?  Tonight, spend some time on her needs in bed.  Then, don't say a single word about you.  Not one word.  In a day or two, do it again.  Pretty soon she'll be feeling better about the situation and you'll wake up to a very good morning.

Offline Wycliffes_Shillelagh

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #19 on: Tue Dec 13, 2011 - 16:10:42 »
My $.02:

First, go out and buy a copy of the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  Actually, buy two; one for her, one for you.  Read the books together and talk about what it says.  Don't worry, they've been out in paperback for years and they're cheap.  For less than $20 you can have much better advice about this exact topic than any of us can easily give.

Second, she has a very valid point if all you want is oral sex.  What does she get out of the deal?  You've already stated that you don't "return the favor."  She is right to resent you. 

You want to know how to get it without asking?  Tonight, spend some time on her needs in bed.  Then, don't say a single word about you.  Not one word.  In a day or two, do it again.  Pretty soon she'll be feeling better about the situation and you'll wake up to a very good morning.
I endorse this post (and the book as well).  This is good advice.

Jarrod

Offline musician_for_God

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #20 on: Thu Dec 15, 2011 - 09:35:34 »
The emphasis of such an activity shows that pleasure and not love is the driving force in the relationship. How can a couple bond and grow in love for one another, when the main focus is pleasuring self.



You're jumping all over this guy for putting a premium on pleasure, when, as a married man who has made a lifelong commitment to his wife, pleasure is fully biblical for him to desire from his wife, as it is for her to desire from him.  Paul writes that "the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." (1 Cor 7:3-5)

And no, I'm (clearly) not speaking to how into sex a wife and husband are supposed to be -- that is entirely up to them as a couple.  Rather, that sex and pleasure, as they were created by God to go together, are both spouses' God-given right, as marriage vows also affirm.  Should a man demand pleasure from his wife if he is not clearly demonstrating his love for her?  No -- such is definitely barking up the wrong tree; nothing good will come of it.  

The answer is there should be -- as it was designed by God to be -- both love and sexual pleasure in a marriage, and we cannot succeed in speaking to the ratio of the two things as long as they are both present in the marriage, and also evident to both spouses.  That said, if a wife does not feel loved, that must be remedied. Love is where everything good in a relationship starts.  And, as a husband, you're not going to get much "action" if your wife feels unloved.

I believe oral sex between spouses is a gift from God, and you can shout "heresy" all you want if you want to do that, but Scripture will not back you up there.  It is clear to me that oral sex was designed -- as clear as it is that butterflies or any other amazing creation was designed.  As long as I show that I love and respect my wife, and that I greatly appreciate her giving me oral sex, she has no problem with it, and even embraces that special ability to make me happy when I need it most.

Also, a husband may need to reciprocate in some way -- and that can be anything, not just giving oral sex in return.  If she finds it a somewhat negative experience, the husband can ask her how he can make it worth her while -- letting her know how much he appreciates it by offering to reciprocate in some way, which doesn't even have to be limited to sexual reciprocation.

But also, his wife needs him to "rock her world" -- she needs actual intercourse.  She has every right to put that before other kinds of sex in priority, because, as my wife says, nothing feels quite the same -- or even as good -- to a woman as intercourse.  It's very unlikely that her giving him oral will rock her world!
« Last Edit: Thu Dec 15, 2011 - 09:44:15 by musician_for_God »

Offline musician_for_God

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #21 on: Thu Dec 15, 2011 - 09:54:02 »
I agree with the others, that somehow, your marriage has become about what you want...rather than what she wants.  

Well, he is one of the two members in his marriage.  So his marriage actually should -- by definiteion -- be partially about what he wants.  Otherwise, it's just an act of charity that he married her -- and that would be rather more insulting to her than him having had some self-interest in getting married, don't you think?  As it should be about what she wants.  (The parable of the Good Samaritan is not about marriage!  ::giggle:: )

I'm gonna go with strict equality here, and throw out everything else that has been said so far in this thread.  Here's why: If you directed your post, quoted above, to his wife... it would sound like you're ordering her to set her wants aside and give him oral sex.  But that last sentiment surely sounds outrageous to you... because you meant the post to lean on him, not her -- and you consider it unfair for it to lean the other way.  Thus, you are not treating both spouses equally in your judgment.
« Last Edit: Thu Dec 15, 2011 - 10:00:53 by musician_for_God »

Offline DaveW

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #22 on: Thu Dec 15, 2011 - 10:11:42 »
I do not agree with the "strict equality" formula as that is a 50-50 type of deal.

IMO BOTH should give themselves 100% to their spouse - both be fully in  that "charity" mode.

Husbands are specifically COMMANDED to love their wives as Messiah loves the Kehilat/Church.  That involves dieing.

Wives are specifically COMMANDED to obey and respect their husbands.  That means they may feel like dieing as well.

Offline musician_for_God

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #23 on: Thu Dec 15, 2011 - 10:20:55 »
I do not agree with the "strict equality" formula as that is a 50-50 type of deal.

IMO BOTH should give themselves 100% to their spouse - both be fully in  that "charity" mode.

Husbands are specifically COMMANDED to love their wives as Messiah loves the Kehilat/Church.  That involves dieing.

Wives are specifically COMMANDED to obey and respect their husbands.  That means they may feel like dieing as well.

That's what I mean by equality.  No one gets married and expects nothing from their spouse, nor should they believe that is the proper attitude.  Marriage is about mutual service, and that is what should be expected to be both given and received. It's give-and-take, not just give. Otherwise, again, you're insulting your spouse by calling your marriage to him/her an act of charity.

Offline musician_for_God

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #24 on: Thu Dec 15, 2011 - 10:41:16 »
Honestly, why do other Christians find the need to all step together onto each "human trampoline" that is created out of another Believer, and jump up and down on him?  Is it a group-instinct thing, or what?   As if to say, "I feel I need to be the 9th person to echo the same objections against you, my brother."

Offline tennman

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #25 on: Thu Dec 15, 2011 - 10:53:12 »
There's nothing wrong with asking her for that. But I think it makes sense that if you want it from her, you should be willing to give it to you as well. Sometimes we do things we don't feel like. We don't feel like getting out of bed some mornings, but we love our family so we do. That's kind of what I'm thinking. I'm not "jumping up and down on you" Link, I'm just giving my opinion that if you want something, you should give as well. I think it applies to marriage in addition to other things.

Offline TomMoney

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #26 on: Tue Jan 10, 2012 - 05:54:27 »
"I guess I feel bad for you, because for the most part the advice that people have given you is either inane or insensitive."

^This, so much this. I do think that if your doing something that's hurting your wife, anything at all, than its cause for concern on your behalf.

Offline Carwhisperer

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #27 on: Fri Mar 02, 2012 - 16:36:45 »
I do not agree with the "strict equality" formula as that is a 50-50 type of deal.

IMO BOTH should give themselves 100% to their spouse - both be fully in  that "charity" mode.


I've heard this many times and it has always bugged me. Even if I put 100% of my available effort into the marriage and my wife (if I had one) puts in 100% of what she can put in I'm still putting in 50% of what is needed and she puts in the other 50%.

« Last Edit: Mon Mar 05, 2012 - 10:00:29 by Carwhisperer »

Offline Carwhisperer

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Re: Oral sex- my wife resents me because I ask for it every day
« Reply #28 on: Sat Mar 03, 2012 - 10:02:28 »
Sorry that I got off topic above. I have something to offer which might actually help. 8 years into our marriage my wife and I were struggling with the issue of sex. I wanted it all the time and she never wanted it. We were actually on the brink of divorce because of it. I'm not sure where we got the idea but here is what we tried. We agreed to have sex twice a week on set days. This worked fabulously for us. It took the anxiety out of it for me. I knew that I only had to wait 2 or 3 days at the most before I was going to get some. She, on the other hand, was free from me bugging her about it all the time. What followed were the 5 best years of our marriage.

Disclaimer: My wife and I have been separated since 2009 and are in divorce proceedings but it wasn't because of this. She and I still agree that that was the best  5 years.