Author Topic: premature ejaculation  (Read 3351 times)

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Offline kamikaze

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premature ejaculation
« on: February 12, 2011, 10:26:57 PM »
I would like an honest and non-joking answer from you guys because this subject is really hard to talk about and it's been plaguing my mind for months now.

I've had this feeling lately that i'm worried that i'm going to ejaculate. It plagues my mind and consumes my thoughts. It has not actually happened yet, but when i think about the possibility a little bit, i keep thinking that it might happen and then my mind (potentially) almost wills it to happen or thinks it will happen.

I know that to ejaculate it takes stimulation, but i think i'm really worried that something is going to slightly arouse me, and then even before i get an erection, i will ejaculate.
This is making me terrified of sex, or to even go quite a few moves previous, it is making me nervous when i'm with my girlfriend. We are christian and we haven't had sex, but we kiss occasionally and hug and that can give me an erection, or at least a semi-erection and i worry that when i'm aroused i won't be able to control it and i'll ejaculate.

I have had a couple of instances lately where i will just be sitting with some friends or with my girlfriend and i think about this whole thing and then there will just be this sudden shock in my system that says "it might happen now!" and then i get a hot flash in my body and from what it feels like in my groin as well. Then i feel like it will actually happen and i have to control it.

But to be honest, i don't know how to control it and even if it doesn't happen, the feeling or the thought lingers in my mind and in my body all the time. I also feel like any sort of stimulation might set my mind going on it and it'll build up without my help.

Please do not suggest masturbation. I used to masturbate, i don't anymore, or at least try not to. I believe it's wrong, and i believe it's not being holy and i'm abusing my relationship with my girlfriend. There have been times in the past few months where the pressure has gotten so much that i feel that i must masturbate and i have, but then i feel awful, shallow, really guilty and i feel like i have no control over this issue - that it has control over me.

I just want to know if any of you guys can help me, make any suggestions, anything like that that will help me. I've looked up stuff on premature ejaculation but 99% of all that stuff is about actually having sex. There is very little about being a mid-20's guy, who's not married yet, isn't having sex and is struggling with these thoughts.

This whole thing seems really ridiculous sometimes to me. I mean, of course i'm not going to prematurely ejaculate while i'm just out somewhere with my girlfriend, or with some friends, or at work. I've gone 24 years of my life and it hasn't happened before, but i can't shake the feeling that it might happen. Am i crazy, or what? I would appreciate only helpful answers. Please no making fun of, or ridiculing.


Online JohnDB

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Re: premature ejaculation
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2011, 07:08:58 AM »
Wear an athletic cup when out on dates or you know you are going to see her.

That will solve the issue in a lot of ways.

And then in the meantime...relax a lot. Chances are she is just as nervous about you as you are of her.

Relax, enjoy her company...talk about all kinds of things. Make sure you get a kiss from her for Valentines day and that you have given her a nice present for the day. (One that she can show off to her friends)

Memphis Dwight

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Re: premature ejaculation
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2011, 09:16:12 AM »
Kamikaze,
I want to first offer my sincerest sympathies for what you are going through.  Just know that at any time you need support, there are christian brothers and sisters here that are available to counsel or just offer a shoulder to cry on.  

Have you considered the very real possibility that God may be calling you to a life of celibacy?  You may want to give this some grave contemplation.  Its a very sobering responsibility to be called to a life of abstinence, but Christ said that "there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake."  Matt 19:12

I hope and pray that all goes well for you and I believe that when you repent of having these erections your spiritual condition will greatly improve.  Hang in there!  

Offline Feedmysheep

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Re: premature ejaculation
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2011, 01:42:07 PM »
  I think you should go to the Lord in confession about the way you are with your "girfriend".

 If you two are in love, why do you not marry ?

 Otherwise, find the one you to marry. I do not know what to say about your psychological / physical problem. But in the environment of a mutally commited and proper marriage, I think God will work with you.

 The casual relationship you have with the backdoor opened to slip out is not honoring to God. He said the marriage bed is holy (Hebrews 13:4).  

 I am assuming you are a Christian believer in Jesus. This is a discussion forum set aside for Christian men.

 If you are a Christian man and she is a Christian woman, and you love one another, you should marry (if you really feel it is of the Lord). Otherwise, my fellowship would be that you should not touch each other or be in the situation in which you would be tempted to do so.

  I am a typical man. I assure you that I am made of the same stuff that you are made of in every regard. I have been married for over 30 years. There is no comparison this and the casual boyfriend / girfriend relationships.

 Take this matter to God in prayer. The problem, it seems, is not the root problem. I think you should seek to get at the root of your Christian humanity in solid confession to God and seeking His way.

  The flesh wants to get "almost married".  The fallen flesh wants to always ask "How married do I have to be?"

  Take this whole lifestyle to God in prayer, confession of your sins, and seeking His perfect way.

  Hope this will help you.

  
« Last Edit: March 24, 2011, 05:23:05 AM by Feedmysheep »