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Author Topic: A lech guising as a gentleman.  (Read 350 times)

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Offline Daemon Blackfyre

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A lech guising as a gentleman.
« on: Sun Sep 11, 2016 - 06:45:37 »
G'day, apparently I have to unlearn and relearn

So these first 3 weeks going back to church I noticed a girl who I've seen around, she's a year ahead of me in school. The first day I went back, she was one of the only ones who came and spoke and welcomed me. Each time I went she would always come about and talk more to me just about things, my kid, my home, recent events, that sort of stuff. She said she heard I was pretty good at school and she wanted help tutoring that Wednesday with some stuff.

Well that night came about and after helping her get some subjects, we started talking about life again. She's smarter than most kids around these parts, we were talking about all sorts and by the end of the night we ended up making out. Yesterday at church she came over and sat next to me and before I left that night she asked if we could have a date after school one Friday if I didn't have work. She actually said that she was interested in me before but she thought I was gay - to her credit, I've been with guys in the past, I wear my hair long and my favourite colour is purple so I'm no exactly a masculine archetype - but that I had a kid, which she is totes cool with, kinds snuffed that perception and she thought that me moving out of my parents and coming back to church thought showed my true colours, whatever she thinks those are.

The thing is I don't think I am what she thinks I am. I mean she's saving herself for marriage, I missed that train with 5 different people and none of them were more than casual things with otherwise friends. I don't know where to start with a relationship like this. I don't have the slightest clue about relationships on this scale and seeing (not here, other forums) I go into hours long flame wars on the internet I don't exactly thing I have the emotional maturity to work this out, if the past inability to keep it in my pants didn't give it away. I feel different about her, but I don't even know if this is what I need right now. I don't know where to go if this ends up working out or how I should conduct myself in "the right way".

Knowing what she thinks of me makes me feel like an impostor.
« Last Edit: Sun Sep 11, 2016 - 06:55:41 by Daemon Blackfyre »

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A lech guising as a gentleman.
« on: Sun Sep 11, 2016 - 06:45:37 »

Offline MeMyself

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Re: A lech guising as a gentleman.
« Reply #1 on: Sun Sep 11, 2016 - 09:47:51 »
You need to be honest with her. You are not a in a place that is a good idea to start a new relationship with another person. You are trying to get your life right with God, and right now, He, your child, your living arrangements are what is of utmost importance. 

She may be cute and sweet and kind and nice, but she can also be a distraction for you right now and will keep you from pursuing the best thing, which is your relationship with God.

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Re: A lech guising as a gentleman.
« Reply #1 on: Sun Sep 11, 2016 - 09:47:51 »

Offline Enoch

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Re: A lech guising as a gentleman.
« Reply #2 on: Sun Sep 11, 2016 - 10:40:43 »
You were never a lech, bud, you are a pubescent young man who was never taught sexual morality until now and though you don't know what's right, you do know how you'd usually approach things is wrong.

As far as I can see, you are in moving into an environment that better supports your faith with a goal -regarding your son0 that better supports your faith and and in a church that it well suited to you learning your faith. I think you'd have ti ask yourself the question is this a relationship that would better support your faith? She's saving herslef for marriage and you met her at church so it may appear so but you;ve admitted you're not yet sure how to control yourself and you've already made out with her.

I would be curious if this young lady knows what she's getting into as well, you've had a very rough past with abuse and neglect and now you are a very young father stepping up to a very high plate and ambitious goals ahead of him.  I won't say don't do it, a date to see how much of each other you really like won't hurt, but you're new with getting back with God after a very long break. You're still learning, she might help you with that or she might be an exam at the beginning of the course.

If you do choose to go ahead, don't put yourself into a position of tempation. DOn't be alone in the same room, keep doors open, keep working on your relationship with God and your study of the Bible to keep focus (as well as on your son, school, work). Holding hands, hugging and kissing should be as far as this goes. This will give you an opportunity to know her as a person and do understand her on an emotional and spiritual level, as her for you. Who knows, you may have met your future wife.
« Last Edit: Sun Sep 11, 2016 - 10:54:06 by Enoch »

 

     
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