Advice needed...

[Girl for God]

Hi everyone - first post! I'm new here, but I was looking for a Christian forum that I could get some Godly advice.

Let me start by sharing something the Lord revealed to me. One day, when I was feeling rather upset about being single and the lack of guys around me (I teach in elementary school) I felt that the Lord was saying, rather loudly, that I'm "off the market" for guys of the world, but I've been reserved for a more elite crowd (God fearing, Christian men). This hit me like a ton of bricks! Then I started to realize that I'm not just some girl, but the daughter of the King of the Universe and I deserve the best!

So, now to where I need advice. I've been going to my church for 6 years now (I'm 27 and single of course.  ) and for the past few years I've noticed this guy that looks at me in service - he serves during the service as an usher. I see him looking in my direction and when I look at him, he turns away really quick. I think he might be shy, because when he looks at me I turn away quickly too. Then one day, I was walking down the hallway (we have a huge church) and he was a group of friends and he turned his head to look at me as I walked by - I know we made eye contact, but I couldn't muster up a smile or a wave and neither did he. We have never talked, though I would like to talk to him. We both run with different circles of friends and as I said the church is large and I'm shy so it is difficult to even get close enough to talk to him. I know if it's meant to be, the Lord will make it happen. I'm just wondering, does this sound like someone that might have interest in me or not? Thank you for your replies!

[kristinaf]

Does he have interest?  Possibly.  But you need to approach him or smile at him or flag him down or something to get a chance to talk to him and see if there is anything there.  I feel your pain...I go to a small church, though so there is more of a chance to get to talk to guys, but it still isn't easy!  There is a guy from my church who is mucho cute!!! but he is very shy and so am I.  I think that two shy people have a tough time of interacting.  I think one person should be bold or at least assertive to balance the other person out.  But that's not to say it couldn't work.  Anything is possible...and WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!  I will pray for you that God gets this guy's attention and sends him your way or someone else who God has for you.  We as singles have to remember two things, (very important)

1) it's God's timing not our own

and

2) don't be in a hurry to "manufacture" your blessing...meaning God is taking too long, so we try to hurry Him up and push things when it is not our time yet.  I did this and am now trying to sort things out.

But...sometimes we have to get the ball rolling a little bit..maybe God has brought this person into your life.  Just get his attention somehow...throw something at him if you have to... ::doh::ok just kidding.  Wave at him next time, or walk over to him and say..."hi! my name is so and so.  I've seen you here before...would you like to go out for coffee sometime and get to know eachother better?  I know it's hard to get to know people in a large church setting.  What do you think?"  (I know it's bold, and some people may argue it's better for the guy to do the approaching, but it's worth a try).  Good luck! 

[Girl for God]

Thank you kristinaf for your reply! I'm thinking I'm not bold enough to approach him  , but I do feel that God may have brought him into my life. I've been single for 6 years now - not even a date - this is after (during a time of backsliding) my then fiancee broke up with me and I realized he was not a true Christian and after that I realized the importance of not just dating a man professing he's a Christian, but a Christian man that has the fruit of the spirit! Anyways, back to my point! I haven't even liked a guy until the past 4 months - and this guy was way wrong for me and I knew it - no question about it. One day, out of the blue, I believe God told me that  this particular crush was a "tactic of the enemy to prevent me from seeing what He had put right in front of me." Then as I heard this, a image of this guy from church popped into my mind (and no, I hadn't been thinking of him). It's a little strange and has never happened to me before, that is why I was wondering what other Christians thought. This not something I can go to my friends about - they would all look at me like I was crazy!    Thanks for the advice and I'll keep looking for opportunities that the Lord may put in front of me, but not create my own - if you know what I mean. His timing after all! 

[yesult]

The bible tells us to test the spirits but to also walk by faith. So when we feel God might be giving us something supernatural we need to hang on to it, but not trust it implicitly until we really have peace that it's right. (In case it wasn't God or we were mistaken.)

So just carefully walk the thing through. If the guy keeps sneaking sidelong glances at you then he's probably interested to at least some degree. 

[wolflet7]

You said that you feel shy because the church is so big.  Well, what if the church was small?  Would it be harder to talk to him then?  I would think that the smaller the church, the harder it is to start a relationship.  Trust in God's wisdom and timing.  A book that I would HIGHLY recommend is When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy.  I'm almost done with the book and have committed my love life to the Lord and I have a pretty good feeling that something major in my life is going to happen soon. 

[Girl for God]

Wolflet7 I understand what you are saying - if the church was smaller, I might have an easier chance of running into him, BUT that would be me trying to manipulate the situation and not waiting on the Lord. I'm not the most patient of people and this is something the Lord has been working on me since I was a little kid.  Lately, the Lord has led me to read "Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right" and it opened my eyes up - big time, but as I read it I also felt that the Lord was preparing me for Christian dating - b/c I've never dated since giving my life in full to Christ (I've been saved since I was 8 years old, but never gave my whole life to Christ). I know I'm being impatient and the Lord has shown me this and the kind of turmoil it could cause if I started dating this man now. Thanks for all of the replies. 

[Elaine]

Hi,
Fourth year of college my sister walked right up to this guy and asked him out saying he was so cute --they married 2 months later and are still married and close and in love after 39 years!
Men LOVE when woman take the initiative. What a compliment for them. :)

Came on late here - first saw your post about Coincidences today in Gen Disc.

:)Elaine

[wolflet7]

Elaine, as a guy I can say that any girl that comes up to me and says that I am cute is automatically my date for Friday night.  Guys love it when girls approach them and not the other way around!

Girl for God, lately I have had this crush on a girl about 3 years older than me.  She works at a coffee shop and I've had this crush since mid-May or so...but it has ended a couple days ago when I saw her Facebook and she had a picture of her hugging her boyfriend and the background was Busch Stadium in St. Louis.  God has been telling me that she isn't the one He wants me to marry and has told me ever since the crush that He has somebody better in mind, but I have to wait until college (currently going to be a junior in high school).  I feel so horrible completely ignoring God's advice and pursuing this girl only to find that she and her boyfriend have a good relationship (from the looks of it).  It tore me apart...but it was great!  Trust me, if God has been telling you that this guy isn't the guy that's right for you, trust Him.  Meanwhile, I'll be over my crush and wait for my Father to show me a great girl that will stick with me the rest of my life 

[yesult]

Yeah. Crushes can really suck.

Hopefully I've been burned enough now to never get into another one. Such a waste of time.

[leeford]

Hi everyone - first post! I'm new here, but I was looking for a Christian forum that I could get some Godly advice.

Let me start by sharing something the Lord revealed to me. One day, when I was feeling rather upset about being single and the lack of guys around me (I teach in elementary school) I felt that the Lord was saying, rather loudly, that I'm "off the market" for guys of the world, but I've been reserved for a more elite crowd (God fearing, Christian men). This hit me like a ton of bricks! Then I started to realize that I'm not just some girl, but the daughter of the King of the Universe and I deserve the best!

So, now to where I need advice. I've been going to my church for 6 years now (I'm 27 and single of course.  ) and for the past few years I've noticed this guy that looks at me in service - he serves during the service as an usher. I see him looking in my direction and when I look at him, he turns away really quick. I think he might be shy, because when he looks at me I turn away quickly too. Then one day, I was walking down the hallway (we have a huge church) and he was a group of friends and he turned his head to look at me as I walked by - I know we made eye contact, but I couldn't muster up a smile or a wave and neither did he. We have never talked, though I would like to talk to him. We both run with different circles of friends and as I said the church is large and I'm shy so it is difficult to even get close enough to talk to him. I know if it's meant to be, the Lord will make it happen. I'm just wondering, does this sound like someone that might have interest in me or not? Thank you for your replies!

Girl for God, you said, "If it's meant to be, God will make it happen." Not true. The Bible teaches over and over again that God opens doors, but we have to walk through them. "SEEK and you will find."

Don't sit back and expect God to take care of your love life. It's hard to know the mind of God, but maybe he opened a door for you. At this point I'd say that you at least need to walk up and introduce yourself to the guy. That's not asking too much and it's showing God and the man that you are willing to seek.