Age gaps

[Amy]

I'm not sure if this has been discussed before or not, but I was curious as to what other people here think.

So, what are your views on age gaps? How many years apart do you think is acceptable when in a relationship? And at what age do you think it's acceptable to begin dating someone who is older?


I ask these questions partly because I've come to notice (and friends have pointed out) that I'm generally more attracted to men who are older than me. Even as friends, my guy friends tend to be older. (of course, my friends in general, even girls, tend to be older...)

[yesult]

Whatever you're comfortable with. Although marrying someone at a different stage of life can cause problems.

[Archibald]

Whatever you're comfortable with. Although marrying someone at a different stage of life can cause problems.

I totally agree with Yesult's statement. I acctualy find younger women are more interested in me then women my age. Perhaps its my level of maturity or the lack there of. I did persue a relationship with a younger woman and it ended because we were at different stages in our life.

[sopranette]

Yes, it is a maturity thing.  At the time I was dating, men my age just wanted to play games.  My DH is a few years older than me, and he has never attempted to portray himself as anything other than himself. He is comfortable with who he is, and I find that very attractive.

love,

sopranette

[chosenone]

 
When I was on my teens I went out with men in their 20's and married a man 4 years odler than me. When I got divorced and years after was hoping that God would bless me with a husband, I was in my 40's and wanted a man the same age as me. Most men of that age want a  women quite a bit younger than them (for vanity I guess) but I wasnt interested on a man more than about 5 years each way.  God did find me a lovely guy a year younger who I am now married to.

[OneLung]

Faster cars, younger women, older whiskey, and more money. God bless America! 

[chosenone]

Faster cars, younger women, older whiskey, and more money. God bless America! 

  is that your experience onelung?

[Archibald]

Faster cars, younger women, older whiskey, and more money. God bless America! 

Shouldn't that be free money?

[OneLung]

Faster cars, younger women, older whiskey, and more money. God bless America! 

  is that your experience onelung?

Only in my dreams. 

...actually, if you replace the word "cars" with "horses," it's the lyrics to an old country song.

[fanuvmxpx]

Its all about maturity. I dated women older and younger than myself. My wife is 2 years younger...and is far more mature than women I dated who were 4 years older. It all comes down to maturity and preference.

Anna Nicole Smith was obviously into mature men.

[seekr]

or obviously into lots of money

[mandalee65]

My husband and I are 45 days apart. I have a friend whose husband is 8 years younger than she. My mom is 7 years younger than Dad.

It's all in what works for you. A 7-year gap is totally different when you're15 and 22 than when you're 30 and 37.

[Amy]

First, thank you all for your input.

Second, it sounds to me like most all of you who responded are generally not against age gaps and feel that it's mainly a personal preference.

I want to put a little more focus into what mandalee65 said as well. What is your personal view of age gaps for teenagers or adults in their 20's, 50's, etc...? And why do you feel this way? What are some factors that you think go into a relationship with an age gap? What sort of factors make it okay and what make it not okay in your opinion?

[Archibald]

Well I am a firm believer that a child, even if they are mentally mature for their age, is still a child. While they are in their fathers house they have to accept the fact he is the head of the household. If their partner deems them their "too be", whats waiting another year? The fact is we live in a brutal world and there are people out there who want to take advantage of age and "worldly immaturity". So there are social laws put into place for protection, and yes we need to follow them.

On the other hand I believe it is preference and maturity level, both spiritual and mind. I perfer people my age, because as silly as it sounds I always dreamed of growing old together. On top of that I do not meet many women 10 years younger than me that can hold a conversation at the same level. Again I am only 28 so yeah an 18 year old isn't gonna be as well...sanded is a good word...as me. I'm not saying its impossible, but its realistic.

Later on in life I doubt my above thinking would apply. For instance I am now 38 and she is 30. We're probably both well rounded or as I put it before well sanded.

[Howdyboyalan]

My husband and I are 45 days apart. I have a friend whose husband is 8 years younger than she. My mom is 7 years younger than Dad.

It's all in what works for you. A 7-year gap is totally different when you're15 and 22 than when you're 30 and 37.

I read that first as 45 years :o