Age gaps

[Amy]

ooooh, you cradle robber! LOL

Seriously though, that's just sad when people have that big of an age gap in my opinion. I mean, I'm definitely attracted to a guy who's 53, and another who's 36, but I would never in my life even consider being with anyone in that age range even if I was very attracted to them. You can like someone and be attracted to them without wanting to be with them. That's exactly what friendships are made of: Attraction.

[yesult]

Yeah. Some guys just never lose it. Sean Connery is a great example. That guy was still hot in his 70's.

But marriage is different.

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

I used to go out with a girl who had a much older husband.

I don't really recommend it.

Uh, the age gap or the going out with a married woman.

[Amy]

Yeah. Some guys just never lose it. Sean Connery is a great example. That guy was still hot in his 70's.

But marriage is different.

I wasn't even talking about looks, haha. The 53 year old doesn't look very attractive, though the 36 year old is adorable! LOL I just love their personalities.

[chosenone]

You see this in celebrtiies all the time, the much older man with the much youmger women and it is just sad in my opinion.The guys looks like an old man and the woman still looks quite young. I guess that the women who marries a much older man has to remember that she may well be caring for an oldr man for many years when she is only middle aged or even younger, and just at the time when her own parents are also probably needing care and help. It may seem fine when she is 30 and he is 50, but when she is 50 and he is 70 things are not so bright.

[Amy]

I agree. That's another reason I wouldn't go for a guy who was more than like 15 years older than me.

[Amy]

So there's this guy... he's like 26. So, about ten years older than myself. I work with him.

Anyway, there's a pretty obvious mutual attraction. Say I wanted to go out with him after I turn 18 (yes I realize things could change between now and then). Would this be acceptable, assuming the circumstances remained the same?

Thoughts? Opinions? Comments? Questions? Discuss please!

[sopranette]

Personally, I would be very suspicious of a 26 year old man who can't find someone close to his own age to date.  You may be the most mature 16 year old on the planet, but you are nowhere near as mature as he is.  My 

love,

sopranette

[chosenone]

well Amy if he is still aorund and interested in two years time and you both want to date then I cant se why not, but maybe at the moment you are rather young to be dating a 26 year old. (just my opinion. Also only go out with him if he is a Christian.

[Archibald]

I would just say wait until your 18 and see what happens, don't dwell on it. On a personal note if my daughter (when I have one) brings home a 26 year old when shes 16, I will punch him in the throat. The fact is most teenagers around that age want to be independent or looked at as an adult, and they will do stupid things to try and achieve that. Even associating with someone much older.

[Amy]

No I know. I definitely wouldn't go out with him until I was 18.

Sopranette: He's nothing to be suspicious about. He hasn't mentioned anything about wanting to date me or anything. There's just a mutual attraction. We tend to be on the same page about things as far as our opinions go, and we get along quite well.

chosenone: It would only be about a year. I turn 17 next month. (Yes, again, I realize things can and WILL change between now and then).

And Archi: Oh I know. It's not like I'm hooked on the guy or anything. It's crossed my mind periodically, but I wouldn't make any decisions without thinking it through and discussing it with a friend or my mom.

I just thought this would be a good topic to dicuss since it was on my mind and all. :)
________________________ ______

Additional question: How big of a role SHOULD maturity play in a relationship?  If two people share love and serve God, could they work out their differences and get past the maturity levels?

Not trying to debate, just wanting to see different views on the matter.

[yesult]

Different stages of life equal different maturity levels. Even a very immature 28 year old is still in a way different stage of life then a 16 year old.

As I've said. That doesn't mean it can't work - just that you can be trying to relate in life terms between two different stages.

It's asking for it, unless you're really sure about things. And even then - like archibald said, if a 26 year old came courting any daughter I had at 16 I'd probably be meeting him at the front door with a shotgun. You have to ask why.

But absolutes can be tricky things. However make a mistake here and you can seriously destroy your life.

It's dangerous territory. Particularly when you bring teenagers into it. Like everyone else said. Wait until you're 18 and then think about it. (But particularly pray about it.)

Prayer is actually the most important thing. It's not only you that stands to get hurt in a situation like this. It's also your children in the future.

[Amy]

Let me clarify things: I was and am being completely hypothetical. I'm not THAT into this guy, we just get along well. And I would never in a million years date an adult while I'm a minor or date a minor while I'm an adult.

Like I said: I just thought this would be a good topic to discuss. I'm not looking for advice, just a discussion on the topic.

PLEASE don't think that I'm actually planning on asking this guy out. I'm not. So please don't direct any advice towards me. (thank you in advance )

This isn't about me. I wanted to discuss an 18 year old wanting to go out with a 27-28 year old.

[ashleythomas]

Well when i was around the age of 16 i really enjoyed the conversation with a man that was in his 30's or 40's and it is because of their maturity. I enjoyed being with them because i felt like stimulated my mind and in other areas.

[janine]

Yaaaaugh.  Lord ha' mercy.  Amy, you're 16.  I have underwear older than you. 

I will tell you the same thing all my kids get told: "You should not date until you're old enough to mate."

A substantial age difference brings interesting problems with it.  It can be done, but you'd best be prepared for extra strains.

A little difference of 2, 5, even 10 years, doesn't mean much after you're through your 20's.

My in-laws were almost 20 years apart.  The adult sons from Grandma's first marriage brought home a friend of theirs, and she married him. 

They had one child together -- my husband -- and they had an odd but happy marriage for almost 40 years.  She passed away not long ago, after Grandpa's devoted care in her final difficult years of bad health.

She left behind Grandpa as quite the catch, a 70-yr-old widower in generally good health, with no great wealth but no bills either.  I am sure women are out there eyeing his courtly, Marlboro-man-looking self.

It's all very well to speculate about age gaps and all... but don't be in any hurry to tie yourself to anyone, of any age.  You have time.