Celibacy for Life, Any Thoughts?

[rppearso]

Well you either keep looking for a man to have a child with or forgo having children if adopting as a single woman is out of the question.

You can always adopt a child as a single woman as well if you can not find a suitable man.

yes cally I agree
I always wanted to marry and have children since I was in my early teens. I married at 19 and have three lovely kids who are all adults now. When my first marriage eneded very suddenly after 23 years, I always hoped and prayed that I would marry again, even though at the age I was then (in my 40's,) finding a good Christian man who was available was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, as there are so many more single women around than men in Christian circles in the UK, and it gets worse the older you get.
.
However after being a single mum for 6 years God did bless me with a wonderful godly man, and we have now been very happily married for nearly 4 years. I am not one to enjoy being single, but I thrive being on married and I am sure that there are those who thrive on being single and are called to do so.
We all need to be in the situation that God has called us to be in as you say, each is blessed and each is good.  God uses all of us in different ways  and we are all unique in our calling and purpose here.
Bless you. 

 I believe that a child needs a father and a mother so I wouldnt do that. I love being married anyway children or not.

[chosenone]

Well you either keep looking for a man to have a child with or forgo having children if adopting as a single woman is out of the question.

You can always adopt a child as a single woman as well if you can not find a suitable man.

yes cally I agree
I always wanted to marry and have children since I was in my early teens. I married at 19 and have three lovely kids who are all adults now. When my first marriage eneded very suddenly after 23 years, I always hoped and prayed that I would marry again, even though at the age I was then (in my 40's,) finding a good Christian man who was available was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, as there are so many more single women around than men in Christian circles in the UK, and it gets worse the older you get.
.
However after being a single mum for 6 years God did bless me with a wonderful godly man, and we have now been very happily married for nearly 4 years. I am not one to enjoy being single, but I thrive being on married and I am sure that there are those who thrive on being single and are called to do so.
We all need to be in the situation that God has called us to be in as you say, each is blessed and each is good.  God uses all of us in different ways  and we are all unique in our calling and purpose here.
Bless you. 

 I believe that a child needs a father and a mother so I wouldnt do that. I love being married anyway children or not.

True

[rppearso]

Of course you have to want a husband first, if the only reason you want a husband is to have kids then you might as well just adopt a kid as a single woman because the man will not stick around of course you can gouge him for child support then.

Well you either keep looking for a man to have a child with or forgo having children if adopting as a single woman is out of the question.

You can always adopt a child as a single woman as well if you can not find a suitable man.

yes cally I agree
I always wanted to marry and have children since I was in my early teens. I married at 19 and have three lovely kids who are all adults now. When my first marriage eneded very suddenly after 23 years, I always hoped and prayed that I would marry again, even though at the age I was then (in my 40's,) finding a good Christian man who was available was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, as there are so many more single women around than men in Christian circles in the UK, and it gets worse the older you get.
.
However after being a single mum for 6 years God did bless me with a wonderful godly man, and we have now been very happily married for nearly 4 years. I am not one to enjoy being single, but I thrive being on married and I am sure that there are those who thrive on being single and are called to do so.
We all need to be in the situation that God has called us to be in as you say, each is blessed and each is good.  God uses all of us in different ways  and we are all unique in our calling and purpose here.
Bless you. 

 I believe that a child needs a father and a mother so I wouldnt do that. I love being married anyway children or not.

True

[chosenone]

Of course you have to want a husband first, if the only reason you want a husband is to have kids then you might as well just adopt a kid as a single woman because the man will not stick around of course you can gouge him for child support then.

Well you either keep looking for a man to have a child with or forgo having children if adopting as a single woman is out of the question.

You can always adopt a child as a single woman as well if you can not find a suitable man.

yes cally I agree
I always wanted to marry and have children since I was in my early teens. I married at 19 and have three lovely kids who are all adults now. When my first marriage eneded very suddenly after 23 years, I always hoped and prayed that I would marry again, even though at the age I was then (in my 40's,) finding a good Christian man who was available was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, as there are so many more single women around than men in Christian circles in the UK, and it gets worse the older you get.
.
However after being a single mum for 6 years God did bless me with a wonderful godly man, and we have now been very happily married for nearly 4 years. I am not one to enjoy being single, but I thrive being on married and I am sure that there are those who thrive on being single and are called to do so.
We all need to be in the situation that God has called us to be in as you say, each is blessed and each is good.  God uses all of us in different ways  and we are all unique in our calling and purpose here.
Bless you. 

 I believe that a child needs a father and a mother so I wouldnt do that. I love being married anyway children or not.

True

 I dont know anyone who has got married purely to have children. Why wouldnt the man stay anyway. many men love their wives and love their children and would never leave them.
You have such a downer on women which is based purely on your one experience  of marriage and your bitterness.
Many women get no child support from the fathers and others struggle to make end meet as single parents. you have a very distorted view of things. Do you realise how much your anger and bitterness and unforgiveness comes over here?. it permeates all of your posts and is consuming you to the point where you are posting replies to other people who have problems in a very horrible and unhelpful way.

[rppearso]

Im just saying what is possible and things to consider, I have a friend who is staying with me right now on an air mattrase due to the exact scenario I have described.  He is out of work and paying child support and going to court at the same time, these types of scenarios are very real and people need to be aware of it.  He is on the verge of just leaving the state and his kids becasue he can not make it, everyone has there breaking point that is reality.

Of course you have to want a husband first, if the only reason you want a husband is to have kids then you might as well just adopt a kid as a single woman because the man will not stick around of course you can gouge him for child support then.

Well you either keep looking for a man to have a child with or forgo having children if adopting as a single woman is out of the question.

You can always adopt a child as a single woman as well if you can not find a suitable man.

yes cally I agree
I always wanted to marry and have children since I was in my early teens. I married at 19 and have three lovely kids who are all adults now. When my first marriage eneded very suddenly after 23 years, I always hoped and prayed that I would marry again, even though at the age I was then (in my 40's,) finding a good Christian man who was available was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, as there are so many more single women around than men in Christian circles in the UK, and it gets worse the older you get.
.
However after being a single mum for 6 years God did bless me with a wonderful godly man, and we have now been very happily married for nearly 4 years. I am not one to enjoy being single, but I thrive being on married and I am sure that there are those who thrive on being single and are called to do so.
We all need to be in the situation that God has called us to be in as you say, each is blessed and each is good.  God uses all of us in different ways  and we are all unique in our calling and purpose here.
Bless you. 

 I believe that a child needs a father and a mother so I wouldnt do that. I love being married anyway children or not.

True

 I dont know anyone who has got married purely to have children. Why wouldnt the man stay anyway. many men love their wives and love their children and would never leave them.
You have such a downer on women which is based purely on your one experience  of marriage and your bitterness.
Many women get no child support from the fathers and others struggle to make end meet as single parents. you have a very distorted view of things. Do you realise how much your anger and bitterness and unforgiveness comes over here?. it permeates all of your posts and is consuming you to the point where you are posting replies to other people who have problems in a very horrible and unhelpful way.

[zoonance]

I'll give it a shot if my wife goes Home before me.

[chosenone]

Im just saying what is possible and things to consider, I have a friend who is staying with me right now on an air mattrase due to the exact scenario I have described.  He is out of work and paying child support and going to court at the same time, these types of scenarios are very real and people need to be aware of it.  He is on the verge of just leaving the state and his kids becasue he can not make it, everyone has there breaking point that is reality.

Of course you have to want a husband first, if the only reason you want a husband is to have kids then you might as well just adopt a kid as a single woman because the man will not stick around of course you can gouge him for child support then.

Well you either keep looking for a man to have a child with or forgo having children if adopting as a single woman is out of the question.

You can always adopt a child as a single woman as well if you can not find a suitable man.

yes cally I agree
I always wanted to marry and have children since I was in my early teens. I married at 19 and have three lovely kids who are all adults now. When my first marriage eneded very suddenly after 23 years, I always hoped and prayed that I would marry again, even though at the age I was then (in my 40's,) finding a good Christian man who was available was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, as there are so many more single women around than men in Christian circles in the UK, and it gets worse the older you get.
.
However after being a single mum for 6 years God did bless me with a wonderful godly man, and we have now been very happily married for nearly 4 years. I am not one to enjoy being single, but I thrive being on married and I am sure that there are those who thrive on being single and are called to do so.
We all need to be in the situation that God has called us to be in as you say, each is blessed and each is good.  God uses all of us in different ways  and we are all unique in our calling and purpose here.
Bless you. 

 I believe that a child needs a father and a mother so I wouldnt do that. I love being married anyway children or not.

True

 I dont know anyone who has got married purely to have children. Why wouldnt the man stay anyway. many men love their wives and love their children and would never leave them.
You have such a downer on women which is based purely on your one experience  of marriage and your bitterness.
Many women get no child support from the fathers and others struggle to make end meet as single parents. you have a very distorted view of things. Do you realise how much your anger and bitterness and unforgiveness comes over here?. it permeates all of your posts and is consuming you to the point where you are posting replies to other people who have problems in a very horrible and unhelpful way.

 

If a man in the uK was out of work it is unlikely that he would be paying child support. The state would probably be supporting the children.
It is based on how much the man earns.

[rppearso]

But if the ex wife is crazy and has employment and the man is trying to get custody there is not hope for that without a stable place to live and even if he was working the child support keeps him so broke he cant move into a place where he could have his kids.  The process becomes very onerous and eventually poeple stop caring.  Also getting child support reduced requires court appearances and they take into account your unemployment benifits so you can not get away from child support until you are totally destituted and have no hope of getting back on your feet only then will the child support go away and sometimes even after that there is a minimum payment of 50$ a month which is impossible for a homeless person to pay this then puts you into arrears to make sure you dont ever get out of the hole.  Maybe things are different in the UK.

Im just saying what is possible and things to consider, I have a friend who is staying with me right now on an air mattrase due to the exact scenario I have described.  He is out of work and paying child support and going to court at the same time, these types of scenarios are very real and people need to be aware of it.  He is on the verge of just leaving the state and his kids becasue he can not make it, everyone has there breaking point that is reality.

Of course you have to want a husband first, if the only reason you want a husband is to have kids then you might as well just adopt a kid as a single woman because the man will not stick around of course you can gouge him for child support then.

Well you either keep looking for a man to have a child with or forgo having children if adopting as a single woman is out of the question.

You can always adopt a child as a single woman as well if you can not find a suitable man.

yes cally I agree
I always wanted to marry and have children since I was in my early teens. I married at 19 and have three lovely kids who are all adults now. When my first marriage eneded very suddenly after 23 years, I always hoped and prayed that I would marry again, even though at the age I was then (in my 40's,) finding a good Christian man who was available was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, as there are so many more single women around than men in Christian circles in the UK, and it gets worse the older you get.
.
However after being a single mum for 6 years God did bless me with a wonderful godly man, and we have now been very happily married for nearly 4 years. I am not one to enjoy being single, but I thrive being on married and I am sure that there are those who thrive on being single and are called to do so.
We all need to be in the situation that God has called us to be in as you say, each is blessed and each is good.  God uses all of us in different ways  and we are all unique in our calling and purpose here.
Bless you. 

 I believe that a child needs a father and a mother so I wouldnt do that. I love being married anyway children or not.

True

 I dont know anyone who has got married purely to have children. Why wouldnt the man stay anyway. many men love their wives and love their children and would never leave them.
You have such a downer on women which is based purely on your one experience  of marriage and your bitterness.
Many women get no child support from the fathers and others struggle to make end meet as single parents. you have a very distorted view of things. Do you realise how much your anger and bitterness and unforgiveness comes over here?. it permeates all of your posts and is consuming you to the point where you are posting replies to other people who have problems in a very horrible and unhelpful way.

 

If a man in the uK was out of work it is unlikely that he would be paying child support. The state would probably be supporting the children.
It is based on how much the man earns.

[chosenone]

But if the ex wife is crazy and has employment and the man is trying to get custody there is not hope for that without a stable place to live and even if he was working the child support keeps him so broke he cant move into a place where he could have his kids.  The process becomes very onerous and eventually poeple stop caring.  Also getting child support reduced requires court appearances and they take into account your unemployment benifits so you can not get away from child support until you are totally destituted and have no hope of getting back on your feet only then will the child support go away and sometimes even after that there is a minimum payment of 50$ a month which is impossible for a homeless person to pay this then puts you into arrears to make sure you dont ever get out of the hole.  Maybe things are different in the UK.

Im just saying what is possible and things to consider, I have a friend who is staying with me right now on an air mattrase due to the exact scenario I have described.  He is out of work and paying child support and going to court at the same time, these types of scenarios are very real and people need to be aware of it.  He is on the verge of just leaving the state and his kids becasue he can not make it, everyone has there breaking point that is reality.

Of course you have to want a husband first, if the only reason you want a husband is to have kids then you might as well just adopt a kid as a single woman because the man will not stick around of course you can gouge him for child support then.

Well you either keep looking for a man to have a child with or forgo having children if adopting as a single woman is out of the question.

You can always adopt a child as a single woman as well if you can not find a suitable man.

yes cally I agree
I always wanted to marry and have children since I was in my early teens. I married at 19 and have three lovely kids who are all adults now. When my first marriage eneded very suddenly after 23 years, I always hoped and prayed that I would marry again, even though at the age I was then (in my 40's,) finding a good Christian man who was available was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, as there are so many more single women around than men in Christian circles in the UK, and it gets worse the older you get.
.
However after being a single mum for 6 years God did bless me with a wonderful godly man, and we have now been very happily married for nearly 4 years. I am not one to enjoy being single, but I thrive being on married and I am sure that there are those who thrive on being single and are called to do so.
We all need to be in the situation that God has called us to be in as you say, each is blessed and each is good.  God uses all of us in different ways  and we are all unique in our calling and purpose here.
Bless you. 

 I believe that a child needs a father and a mother so I wouldnt do that. I love being married anyway children or not.

True

 I dont know anyone who has got married purely to have children. Why wouldnt the man stay anyway. many men love their wives and love their children and would never leave them.
You have such a downer on women which is based purely on your one experience  of marriage and your bitterness.
Many women get no child support from the fathers and others struggle to make end meet as single parents. you have a very distorted view of things. Do you realise how much your anger and bitterness and unforgiveness comes over here?. it permeates all of your posts and is consuming you to the point where you are posting replies to other people who have problems in a very horrible and unhelpful way.

 

If a man in the uK was out of work it is unlikely that he would be paying child support. The state would probably be supporting the children.
It is based on how much the man earns.

[/quote

 yes divorce is a messy buisiness and many get hurt on both sides. My husbands ex wife was determined to get the house which was all that they had, and becuase my husband felt God wouldnt want them to go to court over it, he let her have it . Their children were over 18 and both working.

Therefore even though she had the affair, divorced him, made him leave, and demanded the house she came out best financially. Was that fair? No not at all, she was very selfish, and when he married me he had practically nothing, but God has blessed him for his high moral standards and the way he acted with dignity as we have a briliant marriage and we have a home (as I had a house when we met) and he has three  step children who like him very much and appreciate him far more than even his own children.
.
She may have their house but she is alone and not terribly happy.Who came out best there? There are winners and loosers on both sides but both parents have to put the children and their needs first. This is one reaosn why my husband let her have the house so at least his boys wouldnt have to leave their home even though they were 18 and 21 then.He is the most unselfish man I have ever met,
His solicitor said that he Had been taken to the cleaners, but he says so what? God will vindicate me and restore all that I lost and more., (which He has).

[rppearso]

The difference is the fact that both kids were already raised.  If the kids are still little and the man is forced to destitution he will have little to no influance in his kids life and the kids will be without a father.

But if the ex wife is crazy and has employment and the man is trying to get custody there is not hope for that without a stable place to live and even if he was working the child support keeps him so broke he cant move into a place where he could have his kids.  The process becomes very onerous and eventually poeple stop caring.  Also getting child support reduced requires court appearances and they take into account your unemployment benifits so you can not get away from child support until you are totally destituted and have no hope of getting back on your feet only then will the child support go away and sometimes even after that there is a minimum payment of 50$ a month which is impossible for a homeless person to pay this then puts you into arrears to make sure you dont ever get out of the hole.  Maybe things are different in the UK.

Im just saying what is possible and things to consider, I have a friend who is staying with me right now on an air mattrase due to the exact scenario I have described.  He is out of work and paying child support and going to court at the same time, these types of scenarios are very real and people need to be aware of it.  He is on the verge of just leaving the state and his kids becasue he can not make it, everyone has there breaking point that is reality.

Of course you have to want a husband first, if the only reason you want a husband is to have kids then you might as well just adopt a kid as a single woman because the man will not stick around of course you can gouge him for child support then.

Well you either keep looking for a man to have a child with or forgo having children if adopting as a single woman is out of the question.

You can always adopt a child as a single woman as well if you can not find a suitable man.

yes cally I agree
I always wanted to marry and have children since I was in my early teens. I married at 19 and have three lovely kids who are all adults now. When my first marriage eneded very suddenly after 23 years, I always hoped and prayed that I would marry again, even though at the age I was then (in my 40's,) finding a good Christian man who was available was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, as there are so many more single women around than men in Christian circles in the UK, and it gets worse the older you get.
.
However after being a single mum for 6 years God did bless me with a wonderful godly man, and we have now been very happily married for nearly 4 years. I am not one to enjoy being single, but I thrive being on married and I am sure that there are those who thrive on being single and are called to do so.
We all need to be in the situation that God has called us to be in as you say, each is blessed and each is good.  God uses all of us in different ways  and we are all unique in our calling and purpose here.
Bless you. 

 I believe that a child needs a father and a mother so I wouldnt do that. I love being married anyway children or not.

True

 I dont know anyone who has got married purely to have children. Why wouldnt the man stay anyway. many men love their wives and love their children and would never leave them.
You have such a downer on women which is based purely on your one experience  of marriage and your bitterness.
Many women get no child support from the fathers and others struggle to make end meet as single parents. you have a very distorted view of things. Do you realise how much your anger and bitterness and unforgiveness comes over here?. it permeates all of your posts and is consuming you to the point where you are posting replies to other people who have problems in a very horrible and unhelpful way.

 

If a man in the uK was out of work it is unlikely that he would be paying child support. The state would probably be supporting the children.
It is based on how much the man earns.

[/quote

 yes divorce is a messy buisiness and many get hurt on both sides. My husbands ex wife was determined to get the house which was all that they had, and becuase my husband felt God wouldnt want them to go to court over it, he let her have it . Their children were over 18 and both working.

Therefore even though she had the affair, divorced him, made him leave, and demanded the house she came out best financially. Was that fair? No not at all, she was very selfish, and when he married me he had practically nothing, but God has blessed him for his high moral standards and the way he acted with dignity as we have a briliant marriage and we have a home (as I had a house when we met) and he has three  step children who like him very much and appreciate him far more than even his own children.
.
She may have their house but she is alone and not terribly happy.Who came out best there? There are winners and loosers on both sides but both parents have to put the children and their needs first. This is one reaosn why my husband let her have the house so at least his boys wouldnt have to leave their home even though they were 18 and 21 then.He is the most unselfish man I have ever met,
His solicitor said that he Had been taken to the cleaners, but he says so what? God will vindicate me and restore all that I lost and more., (which He has).

[yesult]

Destitution? Isn't that a bit over the top? If a man fathers a child then he's financially responsible (or should be) for it. Regardless of whether his relationship with its mother fails or succeeds.

That doesn't negate the childs parentage or their responsiblity (primarily the father) to financially support it.

[walker starr]

   I don`t see any sin in it except GOD did say go forth and multiply.  For me even at 81 celibacy seems a very boring way to live.  That's why I`m Looking.

[walker starr]

                     BORING

[Joel, the Son of Pethuel]

flowerpot21,

I have nothing but the utmost respect for you should this be the lifestyle for which God has given you a gift.

Not that you know me or that my advice would mean much to you, but if celibacy is who you ARE, then be who you are.  You will find no satisfaction in your life if you try to be anyone other than who God has created you to be.

[IamStefanie]

I want to read all of the responses but I think I will respond to the OP's post first. If you choose to be celibate, there is nothing wrong at all with that. If you feel strongly that being celibate if the life you should lead, then blessings to you. However, if you want to get married, that too is ok. (as Paul stated, he would advise us to live a celibate life is possible, simply because marriage in this day and time will have problems; on the other hand, it is better to marry than to burn (sin)). But in my opinion, you are rather young to make that call on your life to be celibate forever. But, if you are like that lady in Britian who knew at the age of 12 that she would never marry, then hey, I dont know.