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Offline gt79

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Dangers of premarital sex
« on: March 23, 2014, 03:14:37 PM »
I'd like to hear everyone's opinions on the dangers of premarital sex. Googling it up I find that people have different reasons and some are more biased than others. I myself have been abstinent for 26 years now, I'm lacking in practical reasons to share with people without faith. I find that most of the reasons people have against premarital sex is largely spiritual (Bible verses, etc), but that is because it can be difficult to find practical reasons when you haven't experienced the downfalls yourself. If you have experienced such things I would be very grateful if you would share them, it would open many perspectives for me or whoever may hear.

I believe that there are many practical reasons and practical situations to why premarital sex is a bad thing, I'd like to know as much of them as I can because they are often things worldly people will understand or tolerate (as opposed to Biblical verses).

Someone once said to me that pre-marital sex was like telling someone a deeply personal secret that you can never take back, a vulnerability so to speak. Relationships can fall because one/both people can't let go of comparing previous relationships
« Last Edit: March 23, 2014, 03:28:34 PM by gt79 »

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Dangers of premarital sex
« on: March 23, 2014, 03:14:37 PM »

Offline Don58

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2014, 04:19:15 PM »
I came to know that God loves even me, wretched sinner that I am.  How bout that for perspective.  God loves you too...

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2014, 04:19:15 PM »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2014, 04:29:22 PM »
I'd like to hear everyone's opinions on the dangers of premarital sex. Googling it up I find that people have different reasons and some are more biased than others. I myself have been abstinent for 26 years now, I'm lacking in practical reasons to share with people without faith. I find that most of the reasons people have against premarital sex is largely spiritual (Bible verses, etc), but that is because it can be difficult to find practical reasons when you haven't experienced the downfalls yourself. If you have experienced such things I would be very grateful if you would share them, it would open many perspectives for me or whoever may hear.

I believe that there are many practical reasons and practical situations to why premarital sex is a bad thing, I'd like to know as much of them as I can because they are often things worldly people will understand or tolerate (as opposed to Biblical verses).

Someone once said to me that pre-marital sex was like telling someone a deeply personal secret that you can never take back, a vulnerability so to speak. Relationships can fall because one/both people can't let go of comparing previous relationships

I am not sure that is our job to try and persuade non believers not to have sex before marriage. They aren't going to have any idea of why not, until they realise that God is real and that he says things for our own good. Practically all non believers have sex outside marriage now.
When you have sex you do set up a deep connection with that person which will affect you later on, but I doubt they will accept that because for many its just a physical act.
Of course there are the dangers of unwanted babies, abortions, and the rampant STD's that affect so many now, but like all of us we never think it will happen to us I suppose.

Trouble is that so many Christians have sex outside marriage these days, and think little of it, and often aren't even challenged by the church leaders, so how can we ever expect non believers to take any notice?
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

It is by Grace we have been saved though Faith and not by works so that no one can boast.

Offline gt79

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2014, 04:57:27 PM »
Quote
I am not sure that is our job to try and persuade non believers not to have sex before marriage. They aren't going to have any idea of why not, until they realise that God is real and that he says things for our own good. Practically all non believers have sex outside marriage now.
When you have sex you do set up a deep connection with that person which will affect you later on, but I doubt they will accept that because for many its just a physical act.
Of course there are the dangers of unwanted babies, abortions, and the rampant STD's that affect so many now, but like all of us we never think it will happen to us I suppose.

Trouble is that so many Christians have sex outside marriage these days, and think little of it, and often aren't even challenged by the church leaders, so how can we ever expect non believers to take any notice?

That sounds like a defeatist attitude. If you want to live that way then by all means, I want to shoot at all the hoops before I give up.

I understand how hard it is to convince someone that premarital sex leads to consequences, but don't you think that's ridiculous?

If it does have such consequences, there must be a way to word it correctly so that worldly people may also understand it (they may not be able to see God, but they might see practicality).

I am not just wanting to promote abstinence among worldly/faithful people, but I must have a good reason ready that people will understand in case they ask me "Why are you abstinent?". My reasons so far have been spiritual, with no surprise it falls on deaf ears upon those without faith. With a good answer you have that much more chance to make the faith make sense to a worldly person.

It really is a shame that Christians are being more promiscious as the days go, but I believe this is because we don't have enough to say to people who are being tempted. If all we can throw around is Bible verses, it will fall short to new spiritually immature followers. I believe we  must think practically before spiritually (unless dealing with someone spiritually mature)

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2014, 04:57:27 PM »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2014, 05:26:12 PM »
Quote
I am not sure that is our job to try and persuade non believers not to have sex before marriage. They aren't going to have any idea of why not, until they realise that God is real and that he says things for our own good. Practically all non believers have sex outside marriage now.
When you have sex you do set up a deep connection with that person which will affect you later on, but I doubt they will accept that because for many its just a physical act.
Of course there are the dangers of unwanted babies, abortions, and the rampant STD's that affect so many now, but like all of us we never think it will happen to us I suppose.

Trouble is that so many Christians have sex outside marriage these days, and think little of it, and often aren't even challenged by the church leaders, so how can we ever expect non believers to take any notice?

That sounds like a defeatist attitude. If you want to live that way then by all means, I want to shoot at all the hoops before I give up.

I understand how hard it is to convince someone that premarital sex leads to consequences, but don't you think that's ridiculous?

If it does have such consequences, there must be a way to word it correctly so that worldly people may also understand it (they may not be able to see God, but they might see practicality).

I am not just wanting to promote abstinence among worldly/faithful people, but I must have a good reason ready that people will understand in case they ask me "Why are you abstinent?". My reasons so far have been spiritual, with no surprise it falls on deaf ears upon those without faith. With a good answer you have that much more chance to make the faith make sense to a worldly person.

It really is a shame that Christians are being more promiscious as the days go, but I believe this is because we don't have enough to say to people who are being tempted. If all we can throw around is Bible verses, it will fall short to new spiritually immature followers. I believe we  must think practically before spiritually (unless dealing with someone spiritually mature)


 These people need to know God before they will understand. When I was going out with my husband, it was suggested to me by a couple of family members that it would surely be best to live together first to see if we were 'compatible'. I just said that it wasn't an option for us because of our Christian faith. They didn't really understand, and probably thought we were mad but were too polite to say so, but they accepted that answer. I am not sure you should worry about what people think, but just live your life the right way and they will see that.
I think that we can all see the terrible affect on the world that sexual promiscuity has had.  Marriage destroyed by affairs, STD's on the rise, the spread of aids, unwanted pregnancies, millions of abortions, and moral values getting lower and lower.

In what situations does the fact that you are waiting till marriage for sex even come up with non believers? I cant think of a single time that I was asked about it,  except the time that I have already mentioned.  If you only date Christian girls then they will know what God says anyway.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

It is by Grace we have been saved though Faith and not by works so that no one can boast.

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2014, 05:26:12 PM »



Offline gt79

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2014, 05:56:32 PM »
Quote
These people need to know God before they will understand. When I was going out with my husband, it was suggested to me by a couple of family members that it would surely be best to live together first to see if we were 'compatible'. I just said that it wasn't an option for us because of our Christian faith. They didn't really understand, and probably thought we were mad but were too polite to say so, but they accepted that answer. I am not sure you should worry about what people think, but just live your life the right way and they will see that.
I think that we can all see the terrible affect on the world that sexual promiscuity has had.  Marriage destroyed by affairs, STD's on the rise, the spread of aids, unwanted pregnancies, millions of abortions, and moral values getting lower and lower.

In what situations does the fact that you are waiting till marriage for sex even come up with non believers? I cant think of a single time that I was asked about it,  except the time that I have already mentioned.  If you only date Christian girls then they will know what God says anyway.

Yes we are definitely seeing the terrible affects of premarital sex. It's way too easy to see but difficult to point out. I can just imagine a couple shrugging off the consequences by going to cliched excuses. I don't think people ever really realize how serious it is, they get into a marriage all beat up and blame the marriage itself instead of facing the past.

It scares me, because most of my close friends are in this bandwagon, as well as most of any Christian's worldly friends. I wish there was some way to get the message through to them.

The abstinence topic comes up quite frequently with me actually, most worldly people only ever think about that. if I have made friends with someone its almost guarenteed that we will have that discussion someday.

Offline Alan

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2014, 07:56:02 PM »
I truly regret the premarital relations I engaged in. They were self serving, inconsiderate, and somewhat reckless. Even before I was saved I was convicted of doing these things.


Possessing a good moral compass may make a person reconsider their actions, hopefully before it's too late.
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Offline toastwithbutter

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2014, 08:04:12 PM »
When I've done it I find myself infatuated with the person, which leads to all kinds of nonsense.

I'd say also that if one logical reason to wait is that if two can be patient and wait they will find themselves wanting each other more and more, but then as they resist the urge to come together, their attraction could heighten and then when there is that special moment, I would think it would be even better, and more rewarding. It would be like building a castle, it's not neccessarily the longer you wait the better the castle, but the better you get to know one another before you come together the greater the reward. Also, like I said, there can be emotions attached to sex, so to bring those out too soon can crush a relationship.

Offline DaveW

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2014, 05:01:54 AM »
In  renaissance England premarital sex was a capital offense.  If that were reinstated then we could point to real consequences .....
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Offline gt79

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2014, 12:08:07 PM »
In  renaissance England premarital sex was a capital offense.  If that were reinstated then we could point to real consequences .....

yes but people would not be afraid of premarital sex, they would be afraid of the capital punishment.

It really makes me sad... I'm starting to think there really is no way to get through to a worldly person about this issue. Its because a person's relationships/sex life is not ever studied or discussed, and if it does most of the time people who have seen the consequences have no real idea of it. When they get bored of sex they will just blame marriage and relationships in general, never the debauchery in their past...

Offline chosenone

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2014, 01:17:42 PM »
In  renaissance England premarital sex was a capital offense.  If that were reinstated then we could point to real consequences .....

yes but people would not be afraid of premarital sex, they would be afraid of the capital punishment.

It really makes me sad... I'm starting to think there really is no way to get through to a worldly person about this issue. Its because a person's relationships/sex life is not ever studied or discussed, and if it does most of the time people who have seen the consequences have no real idea of it. When they get bored of sex they will just blame marriage and relationships in general, never the debauchery in their past...
 

Yes that's true. The trouble is that most people will adopt the worlds values unless they know better. Most people honestly think that those of us who only believe sex is for marriage are totally mad. I suppose that's what it means to be different, that people wont understand what we believe and why.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

It is by Grace we have been saved though Faith and not by works so that no one can boast.

Offline Vision

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2014, 11:55:45 PM »
In  renaissance England premarital sex was a capital offense.  If that were reinstated then we could point to real consequences .....

was it the premarital sex before the customary marriage tradition that caused the punishment or was it the fact that the parents of the bride to be and the groom to be was deceived of virginity, especially after all the arrangement and the payment ?

Offline Vision

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #12 on: May 04, 2014, 01:15:46 AM »
I'd like to hear everyone's opinions on the dangers of premarital sex. Googling it up I find that people have different reasons and some are more biased than others. I myself have been abstinent for 26 years now, I'm lacking in practical reasons to share with people without faith. I find that most of the reasons people have against premarital sex is largely spiritual (Bible verses, etc), but that is because it can be difficult to find practical reasons when you haven't experienced the downfalls yourself. If you have experienced such things I would be very grateful if you would share them, it would open many perspectives for me or whoever may hear.

I believe that there are many practical reasons and practical situations to why premarital sex is a bad thing, I'd like to know as much of them as I can because they are often things worldly people will understand or tolerate (as opposed to Biblical verses).

Someone once said to me that pre-marital sex was like telling someone a deeply personal secret that you can never take back, a vulnerability so to speak. Relationships can fall because one/both people can't let go of comparing previous relationships


I will challenge you on the premarital sex if there is such a thing biblically. Or, should I say the precustamary traditional marital sex. I will suggest that sooner is better than waiting for later if the passion is there, and is of age, and parents of the daughter concents or gives in marriage. Its better to marry than to burn in passion as indicated by the Apostle Paul.

Remember  sex cunsumates the marriage at any point in the union whether the traditions are followed or not. The main in thing is the man cleaving to his wife after joining. The cermony changes ever so often and a religious minister is not needed biblically. In addition to that, today, parents hardly have a role to give concent to daughter in taking a man.

The problem is not waiting for sex but how responsible the persons are in being committed together to not commit adultery biblically and deal with the changes in being together.

Also, culture has changed but bear in mind that a woman commits adultery in taking another man and man commits adultery if concent was not given in taking another wife. Fornication from the greek word pornos or porneia relates to sale of the body, whether male or female and has nothing to do with sex before the customary marriage tradition because once you have sex you are married where the man would cleave to the woman. If didnt the man would cause the woman to commit adultery if not divorced. In the Old testament a divorced woman could remarry without commiting adultery but Jesus indicate in the new testament that it would be adultery.

Permission was granted by the woman for the man to get another wife for various reasons biblically, especially in having more children if wife was baren as with Israel.

The bottom line is to stay faithful after having sex.

Offline Alan

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #13 on: May 04, 2014, 07:37:50 AM »
Vision, I can understand your creating clarity of the marriage bed in a Biblical sense, but what needs to be considered here whether the traditional ceremony takes place or not is the commitment to one another for life. The commitment needs to be elevated above the actions that coincide with the partnership, if all people are doing is having sex then they are indeed living a dangerous and immoral life. 
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Offline Vision

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Re: Dangers of premarital sex
« Reply #14 on: May 04, 2014, 09:25:50 AM »
Vision, I can understand your creating clarity of the marriage bed in a Biblical sense, but what needs to be considered here whether the traditional ceremony takes place or not is the commitment to one another for life. The commitment needs to be elevated above the actions that coincide with the partnership, if all people are doing is having sex then they are indeed living a dangerous and immoral life.

I agree