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Author Topic: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?  (Read 5699 times)

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Offline Hiswarrior123

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Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« on: July 21, 2011, 03:40:22 AM »
2 months ago I met this guy at work. He has asked me out, and I said no-due to being a Christian and knowing how it says in the Bible that it is unwise to do so, that it states not to be yoked to unbelievers.
I have formed feelings for this guy, he is different to most. I am not meaning this in a romantic sort of way, more of the way that he stands out from the crowd with how respectful, caring and honest he is (i see this at work).

Since he asked me out he has asked me and we have discussed some Christian topics, he seems quite interested in Christianity and God-he was not raised in a Christian home.
He also said to me how he is open to Christianity and how since meeting me, I have opened his eyes to it. He says that this is not for me, but because of me.

I really like the way he respects those around me and he is so humble.

I also am falling for him! And don't know if this is wrong or right. I am a little confused, since he is so polite and unlike even other guys who say they are Christian.

What are your views on this topic? I know it was quite an explanation about whats been happening but i'm telling you guys this because i am clueless as what to do.

:) just interested in your perspectives/what you would do! ::smile::

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Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« on: July 21, 2011, 03:40:22 AM »

larry2

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2011, 05:00:42 AM »

I say no and offer the following link to "Principles to Godly Courtship." If he is willing to accept your evangelism, ensure that it is because of God and not the appeal you present to him. There is the cliche that men and women can't be friends, and that always is due to physical attraction; it will not allow a platonic relationship. The results break more hearts that need not be. Dating a person that is not a Christian is setting yourself up for a fall.

I have known women that date a non-Christian, the man becomes a Christian because of her testimony and attraction to her, they marry and the honeymoon is over, and he reverts back to what he was all the time; they go to church for the wrong purpose. A pit-bull puppy can be beautiful, fun, and just full of the attributes you think you want in a dog, but many of them retain a nature that can become a nightmare to their owners. Be careful with your heart; God gives us ways to avoid this trap. God bless you in Jesus' name and welcome to these forums.

http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/christian-singles-forum/web-links-to-principles-of-godly-courtship/

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2011, 05:00:42 AM »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2011, 07:27:16 AM »
I agree with Larry. I know a Christian lady who started going out with a non believer who seemed interested in it, but never got further than that and eventually she ended the relationship after a year because he still hadnt converted. No harm in talking to him about Jesus, but dating him is a different matter because you will fall for him, and what happens if he never makes that committment? Or as Larry says what happens if he make one just because he wants to be with you and it doesnt last?
If he starts going to church and genuinly converts, then maybe after a time you can take it further, if you both feel that it is what God wants at that time.

Offline mrhockey903

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2011, 07:43:50 AM »
Yea I agree with these 2 posts. You should be very careful. A guy will tell you whatever he thinks you want to hear to be with you. Maybe and hopefully he's genuine in stating his interest in Christianity which would be great and you could help guide him, but that doesn't mean you have to date him right away. Like chosenone said, give it some time, be patient and see if he sticks with it or if he's only Christian around you. Have you ever seen or hung out with him outside of work? He may be real nice and humble in front of people, especially a girl he likes, but that doesn't mean he's always like that. Even an atheist could easily say he's interested in Christianity just so he could date a girl and you'd never know the difference until later on when you both revert back to your true selves when the newness of the relationship has worn off. Make sure you pray about it, and try to not let your emotions drown out what God is telling you.

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2011, 07:43:50 AM »
Pinterest: GraceCentered.com

Wednesday

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2011, 02:34:53 PM »
I'm gonna say quite the opposite, I think you have been given a wonderful opportunity to lead someone to Christ. (Not saying I am right and the others are wrong, it is just my gut feeling when I read your post).

I would do this as a "friend", and keep it that way for at least 6 months before I really started dating him ~ maybe go to lunch after church but I'd lay low (not figuratively, lol) until I got a good go ahead from God on this man.

Another thing, if it were me, at the right time when the discussion might be leading to this conversation, I'd let him know that I did not believe in sex before marriage.  Like I said, this is what I would do and you can do what you want.  If he hears this and still sticks around then this will be a good indication that he really is interested in God first, then you and if he doesn't then you know he is not the man for you.

 ::smile::

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2011, 02:34:53 PM »



Offline Seriousseeker

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2011, 05:13:15 PM »
Larry has got it right in the eyes of the Lord.  You can be a good testimony in casual contacts, but dating is not good, and is flirting with danger (kind of like Eve in the Garden at Eden).

- Seriousseeker

Offline livingforhim

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #6 on: September 07, 2011, 04:34:08 PM »
It was once shown to me as you standing on a chair. Your non-Christian partner is stood next to the chair. You can try all you want to pull him/her up to your level (I don't mean this in a Christians are better than others, I mean more to your level of understanding of God) but it will be so difficult. He/she is much more likely to be able to pull you down off your chair.

Hope that makes a little sense?! And from my experience, dating a non-Christian is TOUGH!! You try so hard to keep your views of what is right within a relationship but they more than usually get swamped by temptation.

Also beware of thinking "well i'll lead him/her to Christ", unless that person really wants it they're likely to be going through the motions, however well-meant for you. That's not good.

Hope you work this one out x

Offline Swiss_Guard

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #7 on: September 07, 2011, 10:26:07 PM »

2 Corinthians 6:14
 

  "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
 

Offline comfy

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2011, 12:38:21 PM »
If he's not a Christian, possibly you are falling in love with an act, since he can't have mature Christian character while not in Jesus. So, whatever now can attract you to him could be what you need to get wise to. But share with him. And do you have Christian people you know well, who are obviously more mature than you and who are helping you to get more with God? He needs to spend time with such people, too, not just with you. We are family, in Jesus; so whoever is so good for you should be who he would want to get to know, too. If he appreciates you, he should appreciate the ones who have helped you become how you are.

And I don't mean TV people. We have real examples (1 Peter 5:3) whom God trusts to care for His people (Hebrews 13:17, 1 Timothy 3:1-10). And I would say an example is someone you get to know, you spend time with that person in your real lives together, so you can feed on how that person is, how the person loves and lives, how the person relates in marriage and bringing up children. So, you both need people like this, as your living meaning of God's message, not just explanations and beliefs ::smile::

Offline ImpactG20

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2011, 09:22:14 PM »
God has made it very clear that we are not do date unbelievers... it is easier for you to fall into the world than for you to "save him". I tel you in love, you need to repent and let go of this relationship and put your eyes on Jesus to provide you a godly man in his time.

Offline butterflykisses96

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #10 on: September 17, 2011, 03:03:46 PM »
None of us were born christian, we made the conscious choice to give our lives to the lord. If he decides you become christian, then problem solved. You mention that he did not grow up in a christian family, so I would say he lacked guidance in this area till you came along. Certainly leading him to our lord is not a bad thing. I would say take your time and watch him grow spiritually and see what happens from there.
God Bless

Offline comfy

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Re: Dating a non-christian guy , yes or no?
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2011, 08:32:57 AM »
And I am thinking about how if he likes you because of how you are growing to be like Jesus, then surely he will appreciate sharing with your people who are more maturely like Jesus than you are. So, we pray for God to reach him deeply.