Deal Breakers

[yesult]

Thanks   (I can get a bit discouraged at times when I see some of the comments from some men online at times) - but I've known enough guys in real life who are really commited and honourable, so I know it's available. (And good men from these kinds of forums as well.)

I just need to find the right one for me.

I like guys in general, I have to admit. Always have. But I decided a while ago to hold out for Gods choice. It's been hard at times, but the results are worth it. And even if I ended up single for the rest of my life I'd be disappointed, but if that's Gods best or ultimate will for me then so be it. I'm not willing to circumnavigate his will to try to make myself happy. It's just not worth it. The most important thing for me is his pride in my life when it's all over.

Hope he's out there though. I love guys and would really, really like to be with the right one (who's also mine to keep) (forevah)  

[yesult]

PS. 'Forevah' being till death do us part anyway. Christ said that there is no marriage and giving in marriage at the resurection (although I'm sure you'd be able to hang out with whoever you chose for eternity as a general principle.)

[Cally]

Deal breakers?

The sort of woman who's happy that men got laid off so women could equal men in the workforce proportion-wise: consumed with malicious envy--feminist.

[Thankfulldad]

If and when you are dating someone and you find out something about them you don't ever go out with them again...that is a relationship deal breaker.

So...what are your "deal breakers"?

 

OK...once we have the physical conection ; to make the deal then...Christ in her heart!!!

From there...anything is possible

Since we are all a work in progress...I just want "the one"...in that she is progressing with the love of Christ in her heart. 

I would want her to see clearly...that my heart is "His" also; a sincere love...over flowing with forgiveness, compassion...grace, patience, kindness, gentleness...she would have a humble man knowing that I am nothing without Christ...willing to lay down my life for her.

Any takers 

[Cally]

^I have to agree with "from there, anything's possible" statement. I guess nobody should lose hope as long as there is Jesus in common.

I mean the fact is that anybody can change on you in some of the ways that you thought you liked, but then, they may also get better for that matter.  

[ConqueredbyLove]

My deal breakers...

Abusive
Someone that lies
A gossiper...

[HeavensTears]

Smoking, alcohol consumption (that "drinking in moderation is ok" thing is insulting. It mocks people who are sincerly trying, with all their might, to quit drinking excessively), pornography/sensuality, infidelity, being mean spirited/angry, filled with strife, unwilling to learn and better himself, unreasonably bigoted, and being snobbish are definate deal breakers for me.

BUT the #1 deal breaker that is not up for discussion or compromise is a christian who only talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk (hence, doing the things mentioned above). Now that could apply to all of us, but I'm talking about christians who only hold to a form of godliness but deny and lack any of its power (2 Timothy 3:1-5).

Strife kills any and all relationships and will ruin your life and the lives of others if its left unchecked. So if he's not willing to get better and instead wants to be bitter and mad at the world, than we can't hang together. Only fools hate knowlege and correction. And anger resides in the heart of fools.

Besides, if we need to be careful about who we're friends with (Proverbs 12:26), how much more so should we do the same regarding dating? 

[JohnnO]

OK. Since we are already dating that establishes that she meets my physical standards of attractiveness and that I meet hers.

This eliminates things such as smoking or not taking care of herself/not being in shape


So assuming we are on the first date and I find out something, what would be a deal breaker for me:

Not a Christian.   Obviously we can't be unequally yoked.

Liberal (democrat). Normally democrats profess/support ideas which I see as blatantly anti-scriptural. So much so that it's hard for me to even consider them Christian.

Rude to the waiter or anyone else. I try to be well mannered where ever I am and going through life being embarrassed by your wife is no way to live.

Willfully ignorant. That is, she has no desire to learn and would rather coast through life as she is. I'm far too intelligent (and humble  ) to deal well with someone who would bore me to tears in just a few dates.

Lying. Do not lie to me.  (ONLY allowable exception is during the planning of a surprise party of some sort. And even then a question can be avoided or deflected without lying)

Politically correct.  Political correctness by another name is lying. I try to be honest and expect her to be also. Saying something just to get along is the same as lying. Either speak the truth or shut up.



Assuming we are on later dates:
(all the above plus)

Infidelity. Physical or emotional is all the same. Don't cheat on me.

Insurmountable doctrinal disagreements. For example. I believe in free will. If she is a die hard Calvinist we'll never be able to mesh completely as one. Some doctrinal disagreements are trivial, some are critical. This would be a case by case judgement.

Lack of self control.   Having fun is one thing but being terminally out of control is like being rude. It's just embarrassing

Feminist.  I see most of the feminist platform as blatantly anti-scriptural.  (Please note that I define feminist as it is commonly practiced today, not as it was back in the 30's etc)

Complainer or generally negative.  I'm almost always positive.

Manipulative or complains about me being "controlling".  I am not controlling so any complaint along those lines seesk to manipulate me into doing what she wants. She'd have better success just asking.  I recognize that I can only control myself (and sometimes my daughter).  If she sees me as being ocntrolling then she's not ready to be in a relationship where each gives 100%


(I'm sure there's more but I can't think of them right now)