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Offline starla

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Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« on: August 18, 2006, 12:58:47 AM »
Does God Promise You a Spouse?

By Rob Eager

        Jennifer was a disgrunted,single woman at my church.  She was 36 years old and complained that her life was slipping away.  Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo.  Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love.  Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.

        After attending church regularly for more than two years, she suddenly disappeared.  Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaraunt and asked her whether she had moved to another church.  She replied,"No, I've quit church altogether. I just can't bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness." Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He'd better bring her a husband-and fast.

      Does God promise us a spouse? The bible says "yes" by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ.  Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say,"i,m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can't feel him.  Wouldn't it be better if I could enjoy God's love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on." So,we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.

The Gripe for Love

     My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage.  I started to wonder if God actually  cared about my romantic relationships.  Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life.  Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.

        Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart,"Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?''

        In tears of resignation, I conceded, "I appreciate your love,Lord,but all I really want is a wife." I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete.  In essence, I valued human love more than God's love.

       One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past.  In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love.  No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn't accept me for who I was.

        Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, "Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers me everything I need." With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life.  If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay-God promised to fulfill my heart.

        When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life.  The anger we harbor builds a wall between us and Him.  If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God's love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy.  Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.

          God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make your lives easy.  He no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me.  Instead, God wanted use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.

The Freedom to Love

           Likewise, God is working in  your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take.  You can choose to become romantic,just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.

         The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, bu that individual my choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity  create numerous barriers to good relationships.

         Yet, why is life hard sometimes? Why doesn't God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually,God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.

           Therefore,finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Mariage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pair people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn't stop divorce? Instead God let us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.

The Choice to Love
        God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus,marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choice you make.

[b]Questions:[/b]

Use the follwing questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:

. Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?

.Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?

.Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?

. Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?

. Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?

  If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand,find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians4:6-13; 2Corinthians12:9-10.

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Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« on: August 18, 2006, 12:58:47 AM »

Offline alwaysme

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2016, 12:09:01 PM »
Does God Promise You a Spouse?

By Rob Eager

        Jennifer was a disgrunted,single woman at my church.  She was 36 years old and complained that her life was slipping away.  Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo.  Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love.  Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.

        After attending church regularly for more than two years, she suddenly disappeared.  Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaraunt and asked her whether she had moved to another church.  She replied,"No, I've quit church altogether. I just can't bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness." Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He'd better bring her a husband-and fast.

      Does God promise us a spouse? The bible says "yes" by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ.  Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say,"i,m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can't feel him.  Wouldn't it be better if I could enjoy God's love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on." So,we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.

The Gripe for Love

     My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage.  I started to wonder if God actually  cared about my romantic relationships.  Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life.  Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.

        Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart,"Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?''

        In tears of resignation, I conceded, "I appreciate your love,Lord,but all I really want is a wife." I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete.  In essence, I valued human love more than God's love.

       One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past.  In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love.  No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn't accept me for who I was.

        Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, "Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers me everything I need." With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life.  If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay-God promised to fulfill my heart.

        When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life.  The anger we harbor builds a wall between us and Him.  If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God's love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy.  Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.

          God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make your lives easy.  He no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me.  Instead, God wanted use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.

The Freedom to Love

           Likewise, God is working in  your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take.  You can choose to become romantic,just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.

         The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, bu that individual my choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity  create numerous barriers to good relationships.

         Yet, why is life hard sometimes? Why doesn't God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually,God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.

           Therefore,finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Mariage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pair people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn't stop divorce? Instead God let us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.

The Choice to Love
        God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus,marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choice you make.

[b]Questions:[/b]

Use the follwing questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:

. Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?

.Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?

.Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?

. Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?

. Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?

  If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand,find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians4:6-13; 2Corinthians12:9-10.

I don't seem to agree to this. Simply because why the heck we have that longing and desire in oyr hearts when they are inappropriate or just a blockage from God's love. WHY on earth Adam felt lonely even when in the presence of God?! And that presence wasn't like now. He was with God in the Garden.

WHY do we even say that marriage is God's good gift when it's just a blockage from His love??

If I am to believe in that article, I would conclude that desiring to be married is a sin. That God allows the longing and desire for us to fall into sin. It doesn't make sense at all.

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2016, 12:09:01 PM »

Brisingr

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2016, 08:03:20 PM »
It seems the point is that Christians often get so focused on the tradition of marriage and children that they forget that there are other things that are just as important. How many times do you hear, "When are you getting married? When will you have children?" And how often does the conversation just stop when you profess that you're not interested (if that's your position) or haven't found anyone yet?

How often do you notice that marriage and children is held up as the pinnacle of Christian success at life?

It's the //worship// of marriage and children that's inappropriate, not the desire for them. It's when you just can't function like an adult unless you have a spouse and children, it's the making an idol of these things, which many people do, Christian and non-Christian alike.

Offline alwaysme

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2016, 02:22:37 PM »
So, "does God promise a spouse? "

No, he doesn't. It's not part of the Salvation package.

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2016, 02:22:37 PM »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2017, 09:42:04 AM »
It seems the point is that Christians often get so focused on the tradition of marriage and children that they forget that there are other things that are just as important. How many times do you hear, "When are you getting married? When will you have children?" And how often does the conversation just stop when you profess that you're not interested (if that's your position) or haven't found anyone yet?

How often do you notice that marriage and children is held up as the pinnacle of Christian success at life?

It's the //worship// of marriage and children that's inappropriate, not the desire for them. It's when you just can't function like an adult unless you have a spouse and children, it's the making an idol of these things, which many people do, Christian and non-Christian alike.
 

I dont agree, I dont know anyone who 'worships' marriage and/or children, but its a normal desire to want to have a family. Nor do I know anyone who would be insensitive enough to ask single people when they are going to get married and/or have children. Its a healthy normal desire. I always wanted to marry and have children right from when I was a child, I have always been very maternal, and remember in the time when Jesus came, people were married off in their teens and had children very young. Its only today that there are so many people in their 30's and upwards who are still single and who would love to marry.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2017, 09:55:52 AM by chosenone »

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2017, 09:42:04 AM »



Offline chosenone

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2017, 09:54:58 AM »
Does God Promise You a Spouse?

By Rob Eager

        Jennifer was a disgrunted,single woman at my church.  She was 36 years old and complained that her life was slipping away.  Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo.  Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love.  Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.

        After attending church regularly for more than two years, she suddenly disappeared.  Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaraunt and asked her whether she had moved to another church.  She replied,"No, I've quit church altogether. I just can't bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness." Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He'd better bring her a husband-and fast.

      Does God promise us a spouse? The bible says "yes" by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ.  Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say,"i,m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can't feel him.  Wouldn't it be better if I could enjoy God's love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on." So,we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.

The Gripe for Love

     My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage.  I started to wonder if God actually  cared about my romantic relationships.  Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life.  Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.

        Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart,"Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?''

        In tears of resignation, I conceded, "I appreciate your love,Lord,but all I really want is a wife." I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete.  In essence, I valued human love more than God's love.

       One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past.  In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love.  No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn't accept me for who I was.

        Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, "Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers me everything I need." With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life.  If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay-God promised to fulfill my heart.

        When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life.  The anger we harbor builds a wall between us and Him.  If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God's love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy.  Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.

          God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make your lives easy.  He no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me.  Instead, God wanted use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.

The Freedom to Love

           Likewise, God is working in  your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take.  You can choose to become romantic,just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.

         The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, bu that individual my choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity  create numerous barriers to good relationships.

         Yet, why is life hard sometimes? Why doesn't God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually,God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.

           Therefore,finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Mariage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pair people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn't stop divorce? Instead God let us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.

The Choice to Love
        God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus,marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choice you make.

[b]Questions:[/b]

Use the follwing questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:

. Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?

.Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?

.Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?

. Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?

. Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?

  If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand,find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians4:6-13; 2Corinthians12:9-10.

I don't seem to agree to this. Simply because why the heck we have that longing and desire in oyr hearts when they are inappropriate or just a blockage from God's love. WHY on earth Adam felt lonely even when in the presence of God?! And that presence wasn't like now. He was with God in the Garden.

WHY do we even say that marriage is God's good gift when it's just a blockage from His love??

If I am to believe in that article, I would conclude that desiring to be married is a sin. That God allows the longing and desire for us to fall into sin. It doesn't make sense at all.

I agree with you, much of it is total nonsense.  ::frown::
If God is always all we need, then why did he create Eve for Adam? Why give us that desire to marry if He is all we need? If He is all we need, they why does He tell us to met together with other believers? WHy does His word say that He puts the lonely in families?

I often read nonsense like 'when you are fully content to be single, God will find you a spouse'. Or 'when you are emotionally and spiritually strong,God will find you a spouse'. Rubbish. God did so much healing for myself and my husband through each other, and i have heard others say the same. Ok its good to marry without too much baggage, but God can work with whatever we have.   

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2017, 05:18:28 AM »
Nor do I know anyone who would be insensitive enough to ask single people when they are going to get married and/or have children.

Maybe it is different over in England; but here in the US many parents hound their unmarried kids with questions like that.

"WE WANT GRANDCHILDREN!!!"

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2017, 05:21:45 AM »
I agree with you, much of it is total nonsense.  ::frown::
If God is always all we need, then why did he create Eve for Adam? Why give us that desire to marry if He is all we need? If He is all we need, they why does He tell us to met together with other believers? WHy does His word say that He puts the lonely in families?

I often read nonsense like 'when you are fully content to be single, God will find you a spouse'. Or 'when you are emotionally and spiritually strong,God will find you a spouse'. Rubbish. God did so much healing for myself and my husband through each other, and i have heard others say the same. Ok its good to marry without too much baggage, but God can work with whatever we have.

And Paul's words in 1 Cor 7 "It is better to marry than to burn" are rendered invalid by such a stance.

It seems the evangelical church tries to shame and put roadblocks on the singles.

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2017, 11:36:26 AM »
Does God Promise You a Spouse?

By Rob Eager

        Jennifer was a disgrunted,single woman at my church.  She was 36 years old and complained that her life was slipping away.  Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo.  Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love.  Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.

        After attending church regularly for more than two years, she suddenly disappeared.  Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaraunt and asked her whether she had moved to another church.  She replied,"No, I've quit church altogether. I just can't bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness." Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He'd better bring her a husband-and fast.

      Does God promise us a spouse? The bible says "yes" by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ.  Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say,"i,m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can't feel him.  Wouldn't it be better if I could enjoy God's love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on." So,we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.

The Gripe for Love

     My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage.  I started to wonder if God actually  cared about my romantic relationships.  Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life.  Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.

        Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart,"Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?''

        In tears of resignation, I conceded, "I appreciate your love,Lord,but all I really want is a wife." I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete.  In essence, I valued human love more than God's love.

       One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past.  In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love.  No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn't accept me for who I was.

        Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, "Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers me everything I need." With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life.  If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay-God promised to fulfill my heart.

        When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life.  The anger we harbor builds a wall between us and Him.  If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God's love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy.  Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.

          God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make your lives easy.  He no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me.  Instead, God wanted use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.

The Freedom to Love

           Likewise, God is working in  your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take.  You can choose to become romantic,just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.

         The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, bu that individual my choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity  create numerous barriers to good relationships.

         Yet, why is life hard sometimes? Why doesn't God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually,God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.

           Therefore,finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Mariage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pair people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn't stop divorce? Instead God let us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.

The Choice to Love
        God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus,marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choice you make.

[b]Questions:[/b]

Use the follwing questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:

. Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?

.Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?

.Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?

. Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?

. Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?

  If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand,find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians4:6-13; 2Corinthians12:9-10.

I don't seem to agree to this. Simply because why the heck we have that longing and desire in oyr hearts when they are inappropriate or just a blockage from God's love. WHY on earth Adam felt lonely even when in the presence of God?! And that presence wasn't like now. He was with God in the Garden.

WHY do we even say that marriage is God's good gift when it's just a blockage from His love??

If I am to believe in that article, I would conclude that desiring to be married is a sin. That God allows the longing and desire for us to fall into sin. It doesn't make sense at all.

I agree with you, much of it is total nonsense.  ::frown::
If God is always all we need, then why did he create Eve for Adam? Why give us that desire to marry if He is all we need? If He is all we need, they why does He tell us to met together with other believers? WHy does His word say that He puts the lonely in families?

I often read nonsense like 'when you are fully content to be single, God will find you a spouse'. Or 'when you are emotionally and spiritually strong,God will find you a spouse'. Rubbish. God did so much healing for myself and my husband through each other, and i have heard others say the same. Ok its good to marry without too much baggage, but God can work with whatever we have.


Finally! I read something very sensible and in touch with reality. That is one of the things I confessed to God and got assurance. I admitted my faith cannot be perfect for Him to provide me a spouse. I will die single if perfect state of faith is required. I'm assured it isn't like that.

But anyway I'm still single and may be forever be. But the heck I don't care anymore. Whatever God gives, I don't expect anything anymore. If he gives, good if not fine. Whatever fate brings, it's fine. Life is life after all you just have to survive each day.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2017, 12:37:01 PM »
Does God Promise You a Spouse?

By Rob Eager

        Jennifer was a disgrunted,single woman at my church.  She was 36 years old and complained that her life was slipping away.  Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo.  Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love.  Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.

        After attending church regularly for more than two years, she suddenly disappeared.  Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaraunt and asked her whether she had moved to another church.  She replied,"No, I've quit church altogether. I just can't bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness." Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He'd better bring her a husband-and fast.

      Does God promise us a spouse? The bible says "yes" by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ.  Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say,"i,m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can't feel him.  Wouldn't it be better if I could enjoy God's love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on." So,we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.

The Gripe for Love

     My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage.  I started to wonder if God actually  cared about my romantic relationships.  Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life.  Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.

        Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart,"Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?''

        In tears of resignation, I conceded, "I appreciate your love,Lord,but all I really want is a wife." I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete.  In essence, I valued human love more than God's love.

       One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past.  In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love.  No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn't accept me for who I was.

        Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, "Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers me everything I need." With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life.  If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay-God promised to fulfill my heart.

        When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life.  The anger we harbor builds a wall between us and Him.  If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God's love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy.  Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.

          God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make your lives easy.  He no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me.  Instead, God wanted use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.

The Freedom to Love

           Likewise, God is working in  your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take.  You can choose to become romantic,just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.

         The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, bu that individual my choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity  create numerous barriers to good relationships.

         Yet, why is life hard sometimes? Why doesn't God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually,God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.

           Therefore,finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Mariage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pair people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn't stop divorce? Instead God let us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.

The Choice to Love
        God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus,marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choice you make.

[b]Questions:[/b]

Use the follwing questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:

. Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?

.Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?

.Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?

. Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?

. Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?

  If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand,find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians4:6-13; 2Corinthians12:9-10.

I don't seem to agree to this. Simply because why the heck we have that longing and desire in oyr hearts when they are inappropriate or just a blockage from God's love. WHY on earth Adam felt lonely even when in the presence of God?! And that presence wasn't like now. He was with God in the Garden.

WHY do we even say that marriage is God's good gift when it's just a blockage from His love??

If I am to believe in that article, I would conclude that desiring to be married is a sin. That God allows the longing and desire for us to fall into sin. It doesn't make sense at all.

I agree with you, much of it is total nonsense.  ::frown::
If God is always all we need, then why did he create Eve for Adam? Why give us that desire to marry if He is all we need? If He is all we need, they why does He tell us to met together with other believers? WHy does His word say that He puts the lonely in families?

I often read nonsense like 'when you are fully content to be single, God will find you a spouse'. Or 'when you are emotionally and spiritually strong,God will find you a spouse'. Rubbish. God did so much healing for myself and my husband through each other, and i have heard others say the same. Ok its good to marry without too much baggage, but God can work with whatever we have.


Finally! I read something very sensible and in touch with reality. That is one of the things I confessed to God and got assurance. I admitted my faith cannot be perfect for Him to provide me a spouse. I will die single if perfect state of faith is required. I'm assured it isn't like that.

But anyway I'm still single and may be forever be. But the heck I don't care anymore. Whatever God gives, I don't expect anything anymore. If he gives, good if not fine. Whatever fate brings, it's fine. Life is life after all you just have to survive each day.
 

If you dont mind me asking, how old are you?

Offline alwaysme

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2017, 11:20:30 AM »
Turning 33

Pls don't tell me I'm young. You know a woman's body expired. Plus, I'm tired of hoping for nothing it just makes me sad.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2017, 12:04:39 PM »
Turning 33

Pls don't tell me I'm young. You know a woman's body expired. Plus, I'm tired of hoping for nothing it just makes me sad.
 

Thats nothing. 32? Hardly anyone here in the UK gets married till their 30's these days. I know several ladies in their mid-late 30's who are still hoping and praying for a husband and children. People have children well into their 40's these days.
From the way you were taking I thought you were at least 50.

What do you do to meet someone? Do you belong to clubs? Have hobbies? Belong to groups? Attend Christian singles events? Internet dating?

Offline HiveAlive777

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2017, 04:09:05 AM »
Does God Promise You a Spouse?

By Rob Eager

        Jennifer was a disgrunted,single woman at my church.  She was 36 years old and complained that her life was slipping away.  Six years had passed since her last boyfriend, and her dating life remained in limbo.  Jennifer wondered whether her heart still had the capacity to love.  Beneath her jaded disposition festered an undercurrent of resentment toward God.

        After attending church regularly for more than two years, she suddenly disappeared.  Three months later, I bumped into her at a restaraunt and asked her whether she had moved to another church.  She replied,"No, I've quit church altogether. I just can't bring myself to worship a God who would leave me in such loneliness." Jennifer concluded that if she was ever going to let God back into her life, He'd better bring her a husband-and fast.

      Does God promise us a spouse? The bible says "yes" by describing Christians as the spiritual bride of Christ.  Our true spouse is Jesus. Yet, many of us say,"i,m glad to be spiritually married to Christ, but I can't feel him.  Wouldn't it be better if I could enjoy God's love with someone else? I want Jesus with skin on." So,we pray for God to bring us an earthly mate.

The Gripe for Love

     My search for a spouse turned into a cycle of frustration as I encountered numerous relational struggles and a wife who abandoned me six months into our marriage.  I started to wonder if God actually  cared about my romantic relationships.  Whenever I felt particularly upset about being single, I would sit in my den recliner and gripe to God about the injustice of my social life.  Knowing He possessed omnipotent power made it seem logical to expect a wife from Him.

        Whenever I demanded that God rush me a spouse, however, He seemed to whisper this question in my heart,"Rob, is the love of Jesus Christ enough for you? Have you allowed My complete forgiveness and unconditional acceptance to satisfy your heart?''

        In tears of resignation, I conceded, "I appreciate your love,Lord,but all I really want is a wife." I still believed that my heart needed the affection of a person in order to feel complete.  In essence, I valued human love more than God's love.

       One day, I began to look back over my life and the numerous dead-end relationships from my past.  In each situation, romance had started out with a bang but fizzled under the weight of performance-based love.  No matter who I met, either I was too demanding or she couldn't accept me for who I was.

        Suddenly, something clicked within my mind. I thought, "Why am I chasing marriage when it cannot provide the unconditional love that my heart craves? Only Christ offers me everything I need." With this new perspective, I relinquished to God my demand to get married. I still wanted to find a spouse someday, but I no longer considered marriage necessary to complete my life.  If I remained single for the rest of my life, that was okay-God promised to fulfill my heart.

        When we demand that God bring us a mate, we block His love from enhancing our social life.  The anger we harbor builds a wall between us and Him.  If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that our demand for marriage is a refusal of God's love because we want our selfish desires met. God will never stop loving us, but we ignore Him when we desperately seek a human being to make us happy.  Furthermore, whatever we depend upon for our happiness will wind up controlling us. If we believe we need a human spouse to be satisfied, then people, rather than God, will dictate our lives.

          God is in control of everything, but He does not intervene just to make your lives easy.  He no intention of making a woman magically appear and fall in love with me.  Instead, God wanted use His power to mature me into someone who would initiate sacrificial love towards other people. I wanted to get love, while God was teaching me to give love.

The Freedom to Love

           Likewise, God is working in  your life to help you meet and love other people. However, you make the final choice as to whom you accept and whom you reject. When you interact with another person, you have the freedom to decide which direction your relationship will take.  You can choose to become romantic,just be friends, or end your time together and separate. In addition, the other person has a decision in the matter, which means he can influence the outcome. Consequently, a relationship will not develop unless both of you decide to love each other. On the hand, if you or the other person make selfish decisions, your relationship may crumble.

         The desire for marriage is a fair request, but the consequences of living in a fallen world can prevent people from reaching that goal. For instance, you can pursue someone romantically, bu that individual my choose to ignore you, a crisis or illness could hinder you, or that person may decide to leave you. The sins of humanity  create numerous barriers to good relationships.

         Yet, why is life hard sometimes? Why doesn't God use His power to protect us from pain? Actually,God is at work, but in a different way than some of us realize.

           Therefore,finding an earthly spouse will not occur through demanding God to miraculously bring someone to your doorstep. Mariage is not a predetermined process that happens mysteriously. You will get frustrated if you believe that God mystically pair people together. If God predetermines marriage, then why doesn't stop divorce? Instead God let us make the decision to love or the decision to leave.

The Choice to Love
        God brings people across your path and encourages you to love them, but He lets you manage your relational responses. Thus,marriage revolves around deliberately making choices to love another person. You can improve your opportunities for romance by getting out and choosing to sacrificially love people. Or, you can opt for selfish or reclusive behavior and diminish your relational prospects. The quality of your social life hinges on the choice you make.

[b]Questions:[/b]

Use the follwing questions to consider if your desire for marriage has become a demand:

. Am I dating to find someone who can make me feel better about myself?

.Can I feel content and thankful to God in my singleness?

.Am I cynical about relationships with the opposite sex?

. Am I afraid of the possibility of never getting married?

. Is the love of Jesus Christ enough for me?

  If your desire for marriage has turned into a demand,find encouragement by meditating on these verses: Philippians4:6-13; 2Corinthians12:9-10.

Ok, So you cant remember where you put your phone charger earlier today. Your phone isnt on its last moments or anything but it needs to be solved today sometime.

Soo you spend the next hour or so looking anywhere you think it might be. You're obviously frustrated by now. Maybe cussin a few times. But you get tired of feeling frustrated and yeilding no results from this attempt, you decide to go for the sure thing (even though it looks like more effort on your end) you decide to make your way down to walmart to grab a new charger... You even have a better attitude now. So you go throw on some pants and of course, you misplaced your wallet too! You feel the frustration coming back but wait! Your wallet.. You remember now, you got side tracked and left it on the bookcase....and yep, there it is. Sitting beside your charger!

I am aware the significance of the two situations vary greatly, but my point is:

God loves us and wants nothing more to see us reunite with our divine counterparts. He's our father tho remember. What parent wants to see walk into a bad relationship out of lonliness or other fear based excuses.

He is going to make sure you are good enough for his daughter so to speak.

We could look everywhere for love except where it actually is. Like with the charger. Its with us, we should channel the love we feel for jesus, god, our twin flame, higher self, dog.... Whatever outlet provides us with the understanding of unconditional love and motivates us to do whats on our hearts & the feeling of needing another person to feel complete fades and its as if it never was there.

So now back to charger guy. The heart here is allowing him to stay connected with his ppl. The heart isn't driven by ego and God sees this and gives him his charger back. Now all those negative consequences that were manifesting themselves are no longer a thing...the never truly were.

So similarly, If we continue on the path our heart sets as opposed to the ego, our charger will pop up unexpectedly too.



Offline Fearnot87

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #13 on: April 28, 2017, 03:36:39 PM »
I suggest she seeks advice from her Pastor.
Also she needs to go into seclusion with Yod and seek His for help..
In times like this  only God can see her through.

Offline Pkbrother

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Re: Does God Promise You a Spouse?
« Reply #14 on: April 28, 2017, 08:41:03 PM »
I believe Bob Eager or whoever wrote this article did clearly hear from God for him......

and yes people make idols out of people  children wives husbands parents........

Thats why Jesus said"if you love father are mother brother  sister and yourself you cannot be my disciple...."

You must qualify to be married and be committed to marriage or you shudnt marry!!!!!

But it is not good for a man to be alone.....
and "he who finds a wife finds a good thing and recieves favor from God"
our Bible verse when we married 33 years age
Hebrews 13:4
marriage should be held in honor by all..."

I know 2 brothers that told me God specifically told them to take 5 year sabatical from girls before they pursued marriage.....
they were both about the same age 23...
one brother hated this restriction and never really stuck to it.....he had recently been divorced from his 1st wife......
He married a girl a within a year of his 5 year sabatical...because he hated being single??????
He didnt really love this girl and she left him withing 6 months.......they were both Christian and both still attend church...

The second brother I met a few years ago told me the same 5 year plan God gave him......
He stuck to this strickly and would not date or pursue any relationship for the 5 years......
I havent seen him in 2-3 years and he called me last year and told me he was getting married......
Surprising enough his fiance had gone a 5 year sabaticle from God and they met each other right after.......
They are getting married tomorrow and for their aniversary they are going to Jerusalem......
which is where i met him 3 years ago.......

So yes God does tell some individuals to stay single for a time.......
"Do not awaken love until its time"   Solomon 8:4