For men: how to avoid the traps of modern American romance

[Cally]

1 Corinthians--11:9 for neither was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.

Let's consider Genesis for a moment, and ask a question: when Adam was lonely, why didn't God simply create another man to keep him company?

After a lot of time that men waste trying to get themselves a good wife, here's what actually draws them to you, and I can speak from experience: realize your purpose for Christ ("the head of man is Christ"), and a good woman will see the mission you are on and desire to be a supportive part of it ("the head of woman is man"). That's what happened in Eden.

Do consider, folks: the last forty years of America has one of the highest divorce rates in the world and within the church, on the whole, is absolutely no better. Consider its credibility--as far as any modern experiment--absolutely shot, although forty years ago it was about a fifth of what it is now. Many other parts of the world are firm in what is dreaded by some as "tradition," and those places know so little of divorce epidemics like America. And the modern teaching is characterized specifically by drawing away attention from commands to/about women, and in such a way that makes them basically lose their entire purpose in marriage. And now, divorce actions are initiated by the wife 70-75% of the time, and the story tends to be with a bored wife. The fact is that men who have little purpose beyond their wives and spend all their energy chasing after them are a turn-off.

My appeal to the young men is, if you want to spare yourself lots of misery, pursue your goals for Christ, don't customize yourself for a wife (the good ones would not have you do such a thing), and a good one will be attracted to the course you pick and the higher purpose you serve. Don't get 1 Corinthians 11:9 backwards and so avoid the misery of failed marriage that modern society's teaching inflicted on itself. Go on, be awesome and on your mission for God, see who wants to be a part of what you start, just like Adam did, and a perfect support was provided--not another man, but a suitable helper, called a "woman," who came out of man. And then, your original purpose for God should be enhanced.

[tennman]

Good post! I think it's very helpful for men to take this to heart. Nothing turns a woman off than an insecure man who obsesses and worships her. He needs to be his own person, have a life, have a mission, etc.

It is the role of men to lead and be more business/logical minded. That's not to say women can't do that, but the opposites of men and women compliment each other. So men, especially if you want to attract a woman, be a man. Have interests (many interests) outside of her. Be real about it by building up your internal strength enough so that it's real and you can live without her, have other interests, and don't make your decisions based on her whims.

I'm not being sexist in saying that. Men and women are different (in case you hadn't noticed) and we serve the other sex best by being true to the sex we were born to be.

[Cally]

Couldn't have said it better myself. Except sadly, there are women out there who seek to be worshiped--avoid them!

Many men will have to fight tooth and nail to get themselves back--as I did, and to heal themselves from what modern teaching done to them as it has to this country and society, destroying marriages unlike perhaps any other attitude toward marriage teaching in the history of the world.

PS--being out in the world and knowing how many unbelievers accuse God of being "sexist," I know that that accusation is as Christ said: "the insults fall on me." The fact is that the message is for people's best interests because it came from God. It's called "faith."  Smile And it heals!

The author of "Wild at Heart" said that men are being denied permission to be who they are. Many people want men to "put out" like men are supposed to, but they don't want to be threatened by the powerful creation he really is for God. And that's because "he is the image of God"--frightening in strength! (though feminine to God) Such people want to beat on men to keep them from becoming who they are and THEN beat on them some more for not being good enough providers and leaders.

[dallasapple]

I dont know why any woman would seek to be worshipped.We as people are only human we are not God.

Loved cherished admired needed..But not worshipped .

Women can NOT fulfill the needs of a man who seek to idolize her.

Do not ever look to any woman or any man to "make you whole".

You will be forever dissapointed.

Focus on what you have to offer the other YES.But no woman nor a man can 'complete" each other.Compliment YES.

Smothering from either side is just that..smothering.

Love

Dallas