Every time I have the chance to be with someone I go into some kind of defense mode where I avoid the person, stop showing interest, and eventually lose interest. It's not that I mean too. It's like a subconscious thing. Only thing I can figure is that I just stop myself from getting hurt. That, or I have some pretty hardcore commitment issues to where I don't even try.
I've tried ignoring it but it's impossible.
How could I possibly get over this?
I really don't know you or the details of your experiences. It must be very frustrating for you. It sounds like you have tried to get over this, but have not been successful. I could tell you a few things. These apply to all sorts of problems, but I think they are particularly relevant for what you describe.1)
It sounds like you have developed a bad habit. A pattern. It repeats itself, and you have actually practiced repeating this for some time. So......be aware...habits take a little time to break
. But they CAN be broken! ANY
pattern of behavior can be broken. ANY
! You must believe this
. Christ can change ANYONE. A Christian can never say "never." The Bible says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
What you are describing as a "defense mode" and "avoid the person" is really, to be frank, a lack of love
. You will change this habit much faster if you just call it what it is. I know it sounds harsh. But by withdrawing and defending yourself you are not able to show Biblical love to someone. Love is the greatest commandment. So focus on showing love to others, and especially when you feel yourself drawing away
. Read I Corinthians 13
. Memorize it. Do it. Keep a list of "loving things" you can do for others. Do them. Keep track. Write them down.
And make careful note of when you find yourself drawing back from someone. Try to see if certain things are provoking this. Avoid them if possible.
You will need to make this a matter of earnest prayer
, and I would also suggest asking a friend to pray for you too.
But you CAN
change...that is my big point here.