Girls, tell me, does this girl like me?

[wolflet7]

Okay, so she's going to be a sophomore in college (a Christian college in my town) and I am going to be a junior in high school.  We can already see a 3-year age gap, so that's one hint that she is possibly not interested in me.  Well, she works at this coffee shop on the college grounds and I go in every week or so to get an Oreo Frappe.  A couple months ago, while she was making it, she just started having conversations with me.  I enjoyed her conversations and the relationship was building towards a friendly relationship.  Eventually I started the conversations and we would always smile and say, "Have a nice day" or "See ya later" when she handed it over to me before I left the shop.  She would also try to get every last drop of the Oreo Frappe out of the blender.  Well, I guess I lost my guts or something because now I can't start a conversation and I feel that she thinks I'm playing with her emotions.  It hasn't gotten to the flirty relationship, but it is friendly and almost every time I go in and she's getting someone else's order, she looks up at me and smiles and I smile back. 

I don't know guys (or I should say girls).  I don't know if she's trying to be friendly or if she's thinking the same thing I am.  I wish I had guts to ask her to the movies with a group of friends or something.  Also this morning I went in and waited around for a friend to hang out with.  He came and we talked and hung out for quite awhile.  When the other employee came in to take her place, she said, "Later boys." 

Maybe I'm a creep and I over analyze.  I sure hope not!  I want to give my respect for this girl and I pray for her each night. 

So, girls, what do you think about this situation?  Should I get guts and ask her to go to the movies with some friends or something? 

[sopranette]

From your description, I would say she's just being friendly, but there's nothing wrong with being friendly back.  The age difference is quite large, though, especially with her being in college and you still in high school. If I were you, which obviously I'm not, I wouldn't get any friendlier that she is already.

love,

sopranette

[Lifesaver]

Okay, so she's going to be a sophomore in college (a Christian college in my town) and I am going to be a junior in high school.  We can already see a 3-year age gap, so that's one hint that she is possibly not interested in me.  Well, she works at this coffee shop on the college grounds and I go in every week or so to get an Oreo Frappe.  A couple months ago, while she was making it, she just started having conversations with me.  I enjoyed  ..........
Maybe I'm a creep and I over analyze.  I sure hope not!  I want to give my respect for this girl and I pray for her each night. 

So, girls, what do you think about this situation?  Should I get guts and ask her to go to the movies with some friends or something? 

For me personally, the heart is very precious and delicate and must not be put under too much unnecessary strain.  You can deal with this in two ways.
1.  Acept that you are young and your emotions and imaginations tend to be over the top   -  so you just let it run its course.

2. If you believe this feeling is real with you for the girl - the fastest way to find out what is what is to grab the bull by the horn and ask her to the movies with others, as you suggest.  If she accepts, you will be a happy guy.  If not, then it will be a quick, shap hurt, clear your mind/heart and be stronger for the next experience.    Better than spending years in unnecessary emotional turmoil

Either way, do not have any great expectations or make mar-reaching plans - you are too young for that.

 

[wolflet7]

Thanks girls.  I guess I did over analyze and I'm too young for her.  I was expecting that and I will do my very best to keep the relationship a friendly one unless I know her feelings back.  I do not want to risk the relationship and get heart broken.

Any other comments/advice would be nice, but I think I've made my decision.

[LittlePinky82]

From your description, I would say she's just being friendly, but there's nothing wrong with being friendly back.  The age difference is quite large, though, especially with her being in college and you still in high school. If I were you, which obviously I'm not, I wouldn't get any friendlier that she is already.

love,

sopranette

Three yrs isn't that bad and for maturity level you could be at the same level perhaps.  I would try just asking her to hang out.  Not as a date (unless she asks then you can decide at the moment) and see where it goes.  Get to know her to see if it would match up. 

[IamStefanie]

I believe from what you typed that she is just being friendly.

[SoConfused]

Oh buddy, you sound like the nicest guy in the world and deserve a great girl.  Don't get your hopes up for this one. 

I used to own a couple coffee shops in my town and had 10 employees at one time... all of them attractive young women, a couple years younger than me.  So here's some industry insight.  (That Oreo frappe sounds awesome by the way).  The girls made their money (tips) by being nice, flirting, and selling a little friendly bright spot in our customer's day.  They got hit on all day long but I don't think any of them ever actually went out on a date with any of the customers.  Hitting on "the coffee shop girl" is most always a dead end in my opinion.  I'm not saying it never works, but it certainly doesn't work for 99% of the times that I've seen it happen.  Your age difference is probably a deal-breaker in that situation though.  3 years isn't a big deal, it's the college/high scool difference that will seem insurmountable.

HOWEVER, treat every crush (and you'll have hundreds) as a learning opportunity.  Your only real shot with this one is to be very up front with her and simply ask her out (not for coffee haha), or find out her interests and pursue her there.  If you go in to it believing that you have nothing to lose - and you really don't - then you'll be more confident... which is what's going to get the attention of any female in the first place.  And the more you do it, the more confident you'll be. 

Honestly though, I'd probably let this one slide and just enjoy going to coffee and appreciate being in the presence of your crush and keep praying for her.  That certainly never hurts :)  Eventually you'll get a new crush and forget about this one.  And then you'll get a new crush and forget about that one... and so forth lol. 

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

Oh buddy, you sound like the nicest guy in the world...

And therein lies the problem...

Just kidding.

I mean, you'll grow up and get jaded and cynical like the rest of us.

=p

[SoConfused]

Oh buddy, you sound like the nicest guy in the world...

And therein lies the problem...

Just kidding.

I mean, you'll grow up and get jaded and cynical like the rest of us.

=p

LOL ditto ;)


Life...

[wolflet7]

Wow, that advice really spoke to me, SoConfused.  And you know what?  You're right about the situation.  I'm no longer going to dream of a relationship with her until I know her true feelings and goals.  Besides...I went on a missions trip and met a Bulgarian girl about a week ago =)

[walker starr]

         wHY SHOULD SHE LIKE YOU?  gIRLS JUST LIKE THMSELVES.

[wolflet7]

Okay so she most likely doesn't like me but I can't get her out of my head!  It's driving me insane!!!