Is God a matchmaker?

[DCR]

I had this discussion with someone recently.

Is God really a matchmaker?  Sometimes, we say or some people say that God has "the one" picked out if it is His will for you to get married.  But, is there such a thing as "the one"?  Does God really "lead me to the right person"?

It's one of those questions I struggle with in figuring out how to balance our own choices in our lives with "God's plan" for our lives.  How actively involved is God in the "affairs" (for lack of a better word... no pun intended  ) of our lives?

The advice is often to just pray that God will bring someone into your life.  After years of prayer, that can become tiring, and it's becomes easier to just throw your hands up, declare defeat, and say, "whatever you want to do, God."  Maybe that's where God really wants us... trusting in His will and not constantly begging to Him from our own selfish desires.

Just rambling. 

[msbradley]

I end up doubting my situation. I don't always have a "mate" prayer going. But I do pray about it. Then, I tell myself, He knows my heart, He knows what is best and right and good for me, so should I even bring it up anymore? I know we are to ask Him for our desires. But, when my kids were young, if any of them tried to whine or ask me too many times for something, they would have gotten scolded by me. I know I have the perfect Father, so, I'm safer with him than my kids were with me. But where do I draw the line? Once a week, only on Saturdays?

[starla]

I pray once in while to God for to send me the right mate when I get depressed or lonely . Then I realized as me being a single christian that I was not content in me as a single person. I wanted and soooo craved what other people have when they have found that Mr. Right . I guess when I realized and prayed about having contentment in being single, I don't pray now that much for that special mate. I still pray once in a while and  still have that human desire and I still get lonely but it doesn't bother me that much,sort of .Maybe I should not say that until Valentines Day rolls around.

[Judah_Purchase]

Being single is a great season in our lives. There is a lot of preperation that needs to be done before marrage.

Take this time and get closer to got. As a single you don't have any family obligations that may hinder you abit. Now I am not putting down marraige at all, trust me.

This is just an important time in you life to fully become who God wants and needs you to be. Then He will bring along your mate.

The problem is we go into marraige with so much extra baggage that should have been work oout when we were single.

Insted of asking God to send you the right person, just start pray for that person. Example: "Lord I pray protection around my furture wife/husband" "Lord a ask you to grow their relationship with you" and so on.

He already knows who you mate is and when He will bring them. So use your time to pray For Them not For Their Coming.

[DCR]

He already knows who you mate is and when He will bring them.

So, from your point of view, God is a matchmaker.  That is the whole question.  Some believe that God picks who we end up marrying.  However, others believe that is determined by our own choices.

Not to get overly theological about it, but I think a lot of it depends on which side of the predestination question you fall on.  Are our lives determined to an extent by our own choices for better or worse, or is God really completely in control of all aspects of our lives?

I'm not so sure.

[Bocephus]

Is everyone even destined for a mate in the first place?

[DCR]

Good question.

It seems to me that if God predestines that certain people will live who haven't even been born yet, then He would also have to predestine who marries whom...

...or more specifically: who makes babies with whom.

I ask too many questions, don't I? 

(didn't mean for it to become a discussion on predestination... but, that's kinda where my mind goes on this one)

[starla]

Hi
I've known some people in the Lords church that they been married once and  ended up being divorced not long enough to reach their 50th wedding anniversary.I know this one guy who is a brother in Christ, he married and divorced his first wife and remarried another lady whom is in the same church where his first  ex-wife is and end up divorcing the second woman. Maybe it's not up to us to choose and decide whom our life partner is but God who knows what is best for us whether it is being single or not.

[admin]

God created humans as much more versatile than to have just ONE "match." There are many members of the opposite sex on earth that we could be compatible with. God is too creative to have us restricted to some mystical "soul mate."

[msbradley]

Thank you admin.
I have been in many relationships.
Some weren't right from the beginning and others just weren't worked on.
I believe love is a choice.
I believe God puts reason in our lives with the people we meet.
I believe things happen because of purpose.
I believe you can focus on too much of what you want, to not see what God has put before you.
I believe in love.
It comes with friendship, common ground, closeness, commitment, openness and selflessness-all truly given to us by God to share.

[TRL]

here's an article i wrote awhile back that might answer this question:

Do you have a soul mate? It is so romantic to think that there is only one person meant for you. It is also very spiritual to let God pick someone out for you. So, has God handpicked someone for you? The answer might be more complex than you think.

The most thorough story of God’s involvement in bringing together a relationship is found in Genesis 24 – the story of Isaac and Rebekah. Abraham sent a servant to pick out a wife for his son, Isaac. Abraham said that God would send an angel to help his servant find a wife. The servant prayed and asked God to reveal the wife He had chosen for Isaac. God led the servant to Rebekah and Rebekah’s parents let her marry Isaac because they believed God arranged the marriage. This story supports the “soul mate” idea.

Then again, the story of Ruth may throw a wrench in this theory. Ruth’s first husband led her into a relationship with God. Previously, she worshipped another god. Unfortunately, her first husband died and according to Jewish law, she was then suppose to marry her husband’s closest next-of-kin. Her closest next-of-kin refused to marry Ruth. Ruth then married Boaz. It is through this marriage that Ruth and Boaz became part of Jesus’ family tree. Which person did God choose for Ruth? Is it possible that God picked all three for her? Is it possible that God picked two of them for her? If so, then God did not pick only one soul mate for Ruth.

Then comes the story of Hosea. God asked him to marry an adulterous woman. Hosea obeyed God and chose to marry Gomer. God is probably not going to ask you to marry an adulterous woman like He did Hosea, but maybe this is how God also works. Maybe God says date and marry a certain kind of person, and then lets you choose a specific person who meets those standards. God cares about who you date and who you marry. God can orchestrate your relationships. At the same time, you have choices in the matter.

So has God handpicked someone for you to marry? Maybe. A better question might be - how can you involve God in helping you find someone special? Follow in the footsteps of Abraham’s servant in his search for a wife for Isaac. First, he looked for someone who was spiritual. Abraham did not want Isaac’s wife to be a Canaanite because Canaanites were famous for being great idolaters. Abraham wanted Isaac to marry someone who believed and worshipped God. God has repeatedly asked His people to marry believers. He then prayed and asked God to bring him success in finding a wife. Have you prayed about this? Finally, he looked for someone with a servant heart. What characteristics do you look for in someone to date and marry?

If you find a good spouse, he or she is a gift “from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22; 19:14)

[angeleyes]

  I agree that one way that God works is by choosing or arranging who we marry. I believe that it all started from the beginning when God created Eve For Adam. I believe that if God intended for there to be more than one person for us to marry then he would have created several women for Adam to choose from and vice versa. So I do believe that God has a special someone for whoever is predestined to be married.

[msbradley]

I talked with my married daughter recently about my decision to turn down a man who was interested in me. I would love to be married. I'd love to love someone who fills up my heart. She was excited when I first told her of this man's interest in me. She couldn't understand my skepticism of the possible relationship. I weighed very carefully things about him from afar. I had told him I wasn't interested before, but I didn't say it convincingly enough to him. (That's what he told me a few weeks ago.) The first time I met him was on a mission trip to New Orleans. He says he had started going to our church just right before that. I had never seen him, but he had seen me. He thought I was involved with someone from our church and was "delighted and hopeful" when I told him I had never been in a relationship with whom he thought I had. As he would contact me for conversation, I evaluated everything. (That's just me, I guess.) My daughter thinks I am way out of line for asking, but I asked this guy if he would have sex with his girlfriend and when he said yes, nothing could convince me I would want a relationship with this man. To me, end of story.
I explained to my daughter that I don't even want to chance a relationship with someone who doesn't put God first in their life. I worship my God, want to be in His light and want to live my life for Him. I do not want to try to have a relationship with someone who doesn't put God first in everything. It's much easier to sit down and stay sitting than to stand and remain standing. I want to stand and remain standing for what I believe in and what my spiritual goals are. If I were to chance it with someone sitting, I feel I'd be jeopardizing my commitments. My daughter just acts as if I have put my expectations too high. I told her I am on the ladder going up. I want someone on the ladder going up, too. Whether he be higher or lower on the ladder makes no difference, as long as we are both on the ladder going up. She said she understood, but I think she thinks I'm doomed to be all by myself.

[EruditeJoy]

I'm sure I've said this before somewhere on this board; but, I believe that there are any number of people with whom one can have an edifying and happy relationship, depending on time and circumstance.

It's very romantic to believe that there is this one true soul mate for someone, but I'm not sure I buy into the idea.  I think that's hollywood's creation.

[angeleyes]

   You'll have to excuse me, but I don't think that Hollywood has anything to do with the possibilty that God has a special someone for everyone or some people.

Of course everyone is entitled to their opinion but I do believe that there is scriptural basis for what I believe and also for what TRL has said. To me it just doesn't make any since to have more that one special someone and the cooperative word here is special.

If Jesus is the way, the truth and the light and he is the head of the body of Christ which is compared to marriage which I believe is found in Ephesians 5:22-33. Then I honestly believe that just as sure as there is one Savior(Jesus) who is the head then there has to be one heterosexual person for the man or the woman especially for a man because that is why God created Eve Genesis 2:18"And the Lord God said" It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper comparable to him" and the verses that proceed after that is where Eve came in the picture.

So if a husband is being compared to Jesus who is the head of the church
then that also shows and proves to me; I don't know about anyone else here, that there is only one predestined woman for a man and one predestined man for a woman.




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