Is it fair to pray for a personality and confidence?

[waywardson]

Something I have been wondering. I am like many other males hear haveing difficulty in finding a female. I have narrowed it down to a couple things. My confidence and my personality. Typically I have girls interested in me when they see me ( I am deceant looking). But once they start talking to me they lose interest. It is really quite frustrating actually. I have confidence in my work, sports, flying planes and countless other things...but when it comes to girls I have nonoe. I have in the past used booze to help these problems....which worked quite well to some extent esp during college. I was diff not so christian then and didnt start really believing in god until after that time. But now I have planned to stop drinking and meet a girl naturally. I ask myself if god wants me to meet someone wouldnt he provide me with the confidence to do so? Does he want certain people to be single there whole lives? It really is a fear of mine. I have noticed that are so many people whom are more prone to haveing relationships. They may not be the best looking or hard working, but they just have that general knack for connecting with people. So I wonder if god created me to be a certain way, then I would not have so much choice in my personality and how I act in any given situation. I read some other posts about guys haveing similar problems and I see a lot of ppl saying things to them like 'man up' or 'grew a pair'. I think to myself 'really'. That doesnt seem to be the best advice. Yah I get it, and I have that in the past. I am just wondering if we really have control over what happens in our love lives. When we give ourselvs to god that means that he takes the reigns. Just something I wonder and worry about sometimes. I am 27 now. Never been with a girl that I would consider to be a girlfriend. Had many bad and short relations through college during my 'party' years. I have some flings even after I started to turn towards god...but it was the same thing. I feel off the path a couple of times and drank and partied again. Anyways I am rambling now and just am hopeing for something to turn in my life. I do not feel selfish for wanting to meet a girl and get married.

[larry2]

Dear brother, God does not give us all the same bodily gift, but we can use what we have to our and other's advantage or edification if applied correctly, and we need wisdom to do that.

James 1:5  "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

This is God's will for us and when we ask anything "ACCORDING TO HIS WILL." 1 John 5:14 says "And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us."
 
Proverbs 8:11  "For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it."

Lastly, Psalms 100:3  "Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves . . . "

Take what the LORD gave you and run with it. Get wisdow to know how to use the gift that is within you, and build those godly characteristics the right virtuous woman is looking for.

There is an old country song that had the lyrics "Looking for love in all the wrong places. Don't let it be you.
 

[wolflet7]

You know, even during this school year, I used to be the same way.  Even around some of my guy friends in school, I couldn't be fun.  I used to think that I was boring and when I had an actual conversation with my friends, I felt more than accomplished.  Around some of my BEST friends I still didn't know quite what to talk about.  I was just about the most boring person in school.

Now, my friends love me!  I go crazy around some people that I don't even talk to that much.  It just takes time and the mind set that says, "Hey, I don't care what these people think about me.  If they like the way I am, then great!  If they don't like the true, outgoing me, then forget them!  Their loss of a great friend."  You just gotta be out there man!  Do something exciting.  I'll be praying for ya

P.S. Guess what else?  I have a girl friend now!!  You never know what will happen when you just go out there and be yourself.

[Apothecary 4 Christ]

  Sure they may think I am cute at first, but my inability to keep a conversation going or to get her laughing turns them off. 

Dear waywardson,

It sounds to me that you don't need a personality change, just a few tips on conversation. 

Have you ever read "How to win friends and influence people?"

I KNOW the title sounds VERY selfish and non-Christian.  But if you haven't read it, you may actually be surprised to find out it is just a book about conversation principles.  Very simple.  Filled with good tips.  Helped me a lot (I am quite shy).  The book is not about taking advantage of people (in spite of the title).

Probably one of the books I recommend most to people who find conversation challenging. 

Blessings,
Jason

[waywardson]

Thanks for the replies. I have actually done some of my own research on trying to develop a better perosonality. I actually can be quite fun and when I was younger in my college yrs I had lots of people who liked me. I guess my main problem is I dont give myself permission to be liked or think the others would like me. I will check out that back for the fun of it. I get this feeling that in the near future I am going to meet someone. But I also feel sometimes that maybe I am destined for solitude.