Let's Switch Gears

[IamStefanie]

Hi Everybody,
 I enjoy reading the messages on the forum. However, I notice all that is usually discussed is relationships and 'why can't I find someone.' Don't get me wrong, those things are important at one point or another (I desire marriage also), but my personal opinion is we should not get so wrapped around those issues that we do not enjoy Christ and come closer to Him during our singless.
So, with that said, what do you do to take full advantage of your singleness at this time in your life? What are you doing now that you may not be able to do as much when you are married?

[walker starr]

   Well said Stephanie. I want to mention that there are other forums that
   you may find different.  THEY CVER THNGS LIKE (sorry) theology cooking world events
   photography and a whole world of items.  I know there's something for you to enjoy.
   GOD bless.

[fassopony]

Stefanie, since I am single with no kids I am free to tear around the country and politic to my hearts content   I am thinking of going to Denver next week, we will see, Colorado is trying to get an initiative on the ballot to exempt them from Obamacare.  I may not, depending on how fast I can get things wrapped up here in WA.  I am also planning on going to CA when the referendums come out next month.  My goal is to end up working parts of the presidential election in 2011 and 2012.  WOOT!!!!!!!!!

[JohnDB]

One of the things that I like to do is get out and goooo

I met a friend online and they needed a "handyman" around...so I went.

Another time our church had a mission trip to TX to do some construction type work...and I went...no checking in or anything...just packed up and went.

Other times I am able to give away resources (money) till the budget is actually behind...and don't have to answer to anyone but God and myself...

Can't do any of these things if I was married...

But Stephanie,

You are correct....Solomon did say something about being overly religious. It's OK to be normal...and wise to have a mind about other things and want to discuss other things too.

[IamStefanie]

Hi Everybody,
 Thanks for the replies so far. Me, myself, I've been single now for 2 years and during that time I have (believed) grown a lot. But one thing I've done is spent a lot of time with my family. I've connected with my dad - I've know him all my life, but we didn't have a good relationship until almost two years ago. I've gotten to know myself and have grown up some (smile). I am in a lot of prayer and I'll talk to God anytime anywhere (just about). And I have 'me' time. Even if I'm at home by myself. Just to rest and relax with no distractions. And I have discovered how to be a better mom, sister, daughter and friend. I'm sure those things could be done while being a married person, but I think it makes it easier to make these 'changes' in my life as a single woman.

Now, I've picked up regular exercise and actually want to get into tennis and dance (I've loved dance since I was little but have slowly discovered just how much I love it and how much I want to learn technique). I also got back in to hair braiding and went and obtained my license a couple of months ago, so I'm working on (slowly) building my clientèle and my plan, if the Lord is willing is to own my own shop (I already see the vision of the shop so I'm claiming it now!!) within the next 2-3 years.

So, basically I'm enjoying my GOD GIVEN life to the best of my ability. There are still small issues but nothing that I can't overcome in Christ. And being single hasn't always been easy during this time so far but one thing I've learned is that singleness is not only a gift from God but that if you do His will and not give into your flesh, you will be at peace and will somehow look outward from what you don't have and look for all of the things you can obtain. A little deep I guess but it's a beautiful thing

(smile).

[walker starr]

   Really good post Stephanie.  Just keep trusting in our LORD.

[chosenone]

Hi Everybody,
 Thanks for the replies so far. Me, myself, I've been single now for 2 years and during that time I have (believed) grown a lot. But one thing I've done is spent a lot of time with my family. I've connected with my dad - I've know him all my life, but we didn't have a good relationship until almost two years ago. I've gotten to know myself and have grown up some (smile). I am in a lot of prayer and I'll talk to God anytime anywhere (just about). And I have 'me' time. Even if I'm at home by myself. Just to rest and relax with no distractions. And I have discovered how to be a better mom, sister, daughter and friend. I'm sure those things could be done while being a married person, but I think it makes it easier to make these 'changes' in my life as a single woman.

Now, I've picked up regular exercise and actually want to get into tennis and dance (I've loved dance since I was little but have slowly discovered just how much I love it and how much I want to learn technique). I also got back in to hair braiding and went and obtained my license a couple of months ago, so I'm working on (slowly) building my clientèle and my plan, if the Lord is willing is to own my own shop (I already see the vision of the shop so I'm claiming it now!!) within the next 2-3 years.

So, basically I'm enjoying my GOD GIVEN life to the best of my ability. There are still small issues but nothing that I can't overcome in Christ. And being single hasn't always been easy during this time so far but one thing I've learned is that singleness is not only a gift from God but that if you do His will and not give into your flesh, you will be at peace and will somehow look outward from what you don't have and look for all of the things you can obtain. A little deep I guess but it's a beautiful thing

(smile).

 

I first got married at 19, so not a lot of time to be single then. After 25 years my marriage suddenly ended and I then had 6 years as a single parent. It was an awful time for me as I was ill, in debt, had three very unhappy and hurting children and no family to turn to.(parents had died some  time before.)So I guess for me my time as a single person was bad and I wasn't able to make anything of it.
I think its brilliant that you are able to have that chance, but sort of sad that you couldn't do that in your marriage.
Since I married again, I have come alive, many of the pressures are off me, I am not in debt, and much better physically,and am now able to get more involved in things and friends etc. I go to the gym and swimming regularly, eat healthily and am thriving spiritually.

Do you think that some of us thrive more as single people and some more as married people?   

[IamStefanie]

 

I first got married at 19, so not a lot of time to be single then. After 25 years my marriage suddenly ended and I then had 6 years as a single parent. It was an awful time for me as I was ill, in debt, had three very unhappy and hurting children and no family to turn to.(parents had died some  time before.)So I guess for me my time as a single person was bad and I wasn't able to make anything of it.
I think its brilliant that you are able to have that chance, but sort of sad that you couldn't do that in your marriage.
Since I married again, I have come alive, many of the pressures are off me, I am not in debt, and much better physically,and am now able to get more involved in things and friends etc. I go to the gym and swimming regularly, eat healthily and am thriving spiritually.

Do you think that some of us thrive more as single people and some more as married people?   
[/quote]

Hi Chosenone,
 Actually, I've yet to be married. I have been in several ungodly relationships though - fornicating, 'shacking up', etc. But these two years I have not been in a 'serious' relationship(still tried to operate off of old ideas but to no success - thank God!) and my next relationship will lead to marriage (smile). And I believe the reason I did not do any these things (as far as where I'm at now) was because I needed to come to Christ first (hindsight I guess). And as I continue to seek the kingdom, I feel more complete.

But, I do desire to be in a marriage and I know in God's time it will happen - I just believe that. But I'm just enjoying this time in my life. I don't think being single is better than married or the vice versa, necessarily. And I believe both are gifts at the appropriat time. It's all in the idea of being content with who you are (as Paul said) and making the best of it. So that's where my mindset is.

Now, do I think some of us thrive more being single or being married? Yes, probably. And the reasonings could be vast so I won't get into all of that because that's more on a matter of opinion but I think so. Some people work better as a 'team' while others work well solo. But there are also people who thrive one way or the other...

[chosenone]

 

I first got married at 19, so not a lot of time to be single then. After 25 years my marriage suddenly ended and I then had 6 years as a single parent. It was an awful time for me as I was ill, in debt, had three very unhappy and hurting children and no family to turn to.(parents had died some  time before.)So I guess for me my time as a single person was bad and I wasn't able to make anything of it.
I think its brilliant that you are able to have that chance, but sort of sad that you couldn't do that in your marriage.
Since I married again, I have come alive, many of the pressures are off me, I am not in debt, and much better physically,and am now able to get more involved in things and friends etc. I go to the gym and swimming regularly, eat healthily and am thriving spiritually.

Do you think that some of us thrive more as single people and some more as married people?  

Hi Chosenone,
 Actually, I've yet to be married. I have been in several ungodly relationships though - fornicating, 'shacking up', etc. But these two years I have not been in a 'serious' relationship(still tried to operate off of old ideas but to no success - thank God!) and my next relationship will lead to marriage (smile). And I believe the reason I did not do any these things (as far as where I'm at now) was because I needed to come to Christ first (hindsight I guess). And as I continue to seek the kingdom, I feel more complete.

But, I do desire to be in a marriage and I know in God's time it will happen - I just believe that. But I'm just enjoying this time in my life. I don't think being single is better than married or the vice versa, necessarily. And I believe both are gifts at the appropriat time. It's all in the idea of being content with who you are (as Paul said) and making the best of it. So that's where my mindset is.

Now, do I think some of us thrive more being single or being married? Yes, probably. And the reasonings could be vast so I won't get into all of that because that's more on a matter of opinion but I think so. Some people work better as a 'team' while others work well solo. But there are also people who thrive one way or the other...

[/quote]

  Yes we are all different and of course it depends on the marriage as well.  A bad and unhappy marriage is worse than not being married in my opinion.
I am sure that you will find that special guy soon.(or God will find him for you) .but in the meantime, enjoy your singleness.

[DarrenC]

I try to keep myself busy and have constructive hobbies that keep me spiritually healthy in order to cover up the things my life is missing.  But I dont like to be busy for only entertainment value, so I only watch TV or movies selectively.  My main hobby is studying the bible, I just bought 3 new study bibles so I have spent a lot of time learning about the bible, I want to add to my knowlege and wisdom by learning and applying the word.  In addition, I also have spent some time studying philosophy and linguistics.  I enjoy travel, so I spend a lot of time researching different parts of the world, especially places that most people don't visit.  

A few minor hobbies that I may be starting soon are amateur astronomy and road cycling.  

[rarejewel]

I agree. I have been single all of my life and have enjoyed it. My relationship with God has deepened in ways I can't explain.

I would have never been able to develop a close and intimate relationship with God if I had been married before now.

Sooo many things I would not be able to do.

  I probably would not be able to sit up late as I want at night..Watch what I want on television ( have full control of remote )