More emphasis on virginity please

[Candance]

 Hi, I am new to this site and I am also excited to see so many people on fire for the Lord. This subject has been a question in my mind for awhile and I wanted to get others opinion on it.  As a young christian and especially as a female, I go through many struggles and temptations more importantly those regarding my choice to remain a virgin until I am married. Even in my new walk I have already been to and visited many churches where I have been greatly fed with the word, that ultimately helps to strengthen my walk. But I have not been able to find enough churches, groups, or bible studies that talk about the importance of staying pure to our single believers with special concern for the young people, especially our young women. With the growing amount of teen pregnancies as well as those having children out of wedlock, with some of those happening to some of our own brothers and sisters in Christ. I think now more than ever, it is time for the christian community to step up and to show more public support for virginity as well as providing more encouragement for the single believers and the young people to decide on a life of virginity. Not just because it is what God says but because it can initially save them a life of heartache and regret in their futures that God has already so wonderfully planned for us. I really strongly feel that as a christian community we do not talk enough about the subject. By exploring all facets of it and by creating more outlets for people to get a better understanding of why it is one of the most important things in the christian faith. I strongly believe that if we did do this we could really bring in more to Christ (concerning those that may be nonbelievers but are choosing to practice celibacy or abstinence) as well as encourage those who already know the importance of it to remain strong.
Be Blessed

[DerekNI]

Hi Candance, I agree with you that there is not enough emphasis at times on this subject, at least within the churches I have attended. I would like to hear some bold preaching on the subject, but it seems like some ministers find it difficult to address. So most of the time I turn to books. There is a book currently available called The thrill of the chaste, by Dawn Eden. I have not actually read it but it has been getting a lot of attention, and the author has spoken about her book on news shows in America, and has received coverage in the UK press. Certainly she is celebrating the virtue of chastity in her book. And I am glad she is getting the coverage she is getting, particularly because it raises the subject as one which is not just relevant within the church.

[DrFrank]

This is an important topic for a reason not mentioned in the messages above;hypocrisy the only sin recorded in the Bible that without any exceptions always enraged Jesus when He encountered it.

First there is the hypocrisy of so many Christians who work themselves  sometimes into a state of near mental illness about homosexuality while totally ignoring the equally deadly sins of adultery and premarital sexual relations.

More serious,actually bordering on outright blasphemy,is the refusal of the vast majority of the clergy to teach Jesus' position on marriage in their churches.Both Jesus and the Apostle Paul consistently taught that Christians should NEVER  get married unless they are unable to sexually control themselves which appears to be the case with vast majority of the clergy.With the constant approval of  marriage and childbirth in churches,almost all Christians are taught that those are the traditions approved by God.We should not be surprised  then that so many decide to get an early start on a marital relationship or decide to just skip step one for the time being and progress immediately to step two,the much praised contribution to the over-population of the world.This problem can be completely avoided if the clergy would merely start reading the Bible to their congregations.Why is this asking too much?

Luke 20:34-36 (King James Version)

 34And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:

 35But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage:

 36Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.

[yesult]

Quoting something out of context DrFrank can do a lot of damage to an innocent christians faith. If you look at the entire passage in Luke, it is talking about marriage in the next life, not this one.

Luke 20:27  Some of the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to Jesus with a question. Teacher," they said, "Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother. Now there were seven brothers. The first one married a woman and died childless. The second and then the third married her, and in the same way the seven died, leaving no children. Finally, the woman died too. Now then, at the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?"
Jesus replied, "The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking part in that age and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God's children, since they are children of the resurrection.

NIV

And to add to that I Tim 4:1-3 The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.
 They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth.


To teach that only single christians will inherit the kingdom of God is a blatant contradiction of scripture. Peter was married, so were the other apostles except for Paul according to 1 Cor 9:5 Don't we have the right to take a believing wife along with us, as do the other apostles and the Lord's brothers and Cephas?

Marriage is from God. It is not something 'impure' that can negatively affect a persons character, contrary to some human doctrines you sometimes see being passed off as the word of God. Scripture is our final souce on this subject, not mans opinion.

[Brasee]

I agree that there should be a pretty strong focus on sexual purity and virginity -- because it is one of the virtues the world is currently mocking most. But perhaps it will give you some hope to know that in the churches I have been to, there has been a pretty decent focus on the topic at the appropriate times and places! In youth groups certainly, and in sermons about marriage, I don't ever remember thinking that purity was being ignored.

So take heart! Purity has certainly not been forgotten in the Body of Christ, though it is sad that the churches you've been to haven't talked about it very much. Maybe God will use you to help encourage others!

[Hehealedme]

Candance, this is an article that was written by a young born-again Christian girl. She was 15 years old at the time...


An article by Victoria Self

Looking For Love
by Victoria Self

When I look around at the teenagers today and how we live our lives, I cannot help but wonder what has happened to get us to this point?  I believe with all my heart that we teenagers act the way we do because we are hurting and we are trying to fill a void in our life.

Let us take dating for instance! The world has put in our mind that “love” is a supernatural feeling that we get when that special someone puts their arm around us or tells us they “love” us. We have been deceived into believing that not having a boyfriend or girlfriend makes us of little or no value. That is a lie from our enemy! The sad part is, we all have fallen for the lie in some form or fashion. We are all being brainwashed into thinking we need a boy or a girl to be worth something.

It hurts me when I think of teenagers who have lost their most precious possession, their purity, because they wanted to feel “accepted” and “loved”.

We have compromised our standards and what we believe to be truly right just so we can keep that “special” someone in our life. 

The bad thing about this is that we as Christians have fallen into the same exact trap as our lost peers. If we are doing exactly what they are doing then how are we going to witness to them?  If they see us touching, hugging, hanging all over our boyfriend or girlfriend and having sex with them then what makes us think they will want to listen to us. They would say,
“They claim they are a Christian and do exactly what I do, so that must make me a Christian!”

In my opinion, we have given Christ a bad name and for more than one reason! We have gotten into this mindset, “If I do not have someone special in my life telling me they “love” me and that I mean the world to them, there must be something wrong with me.”

I do not know how to stress this enough. It is not true! Our value does not come from man but from The Creator of the universe who made us in His image.

The concept of dating is not found anywhere in the Bible. Not once does it refer to someone's dating relationship.  In the Bible, they did not look for someone to date, give a piece of their heart to them, and then break off the relationship. They searched for their soul mate, someone they could be with for the rest of their lives, the one God had chosen for them, not someone to just fulfill all their flesh desires and then throw them away as if they were insignificant.

In the Bible, when Jacob worked for Laban, he was seeking a wife, not a girlfriend. For seven years, he willingly worked to have her. He did not do that to use her and then give her back. It was because he saw himself living the rest of his life with her! Another example in the Bible is Isaac and his family who sought out together his future wife.

How many of us Christians can honestly say, “I am not looking for a temporary relationship. I am praying God brings my future spouse into my life.”

Can we honestly say that? Not a lot of people can; not a lot of us are willing to let God have complete control of our love life.

Actually, if you want to get technical, as a child of God, it is not our love life anyway! It is His. Believe me, it will not be easy to give it away but think about it! If the God of the universe cares enough about the birds of the air to make sure that He feeds them, do you not think He would care enough about us to take care of us in every area of our life, including our life mate? Yes! He does care and love us enough to provide for our every need including our dating life.
 
If you are like me, and are striving to let God have complete control of your dating and love life, then I encourage you to read When Dreams Come True and When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy. Those books have encouraged and strengthened me to be all that God wants me to be in a relationship and to stay pure, physically and emotionally.

How do we stay emotionally and physically pure? We say or do nothing that would dishonor or shame our future spouse. I do not want to be ashamed about what I have chosen to do with my life personally. I want even the choosing of my life mate to honor and glorify God! I want to hear him say to me, “Well done my good and faithful servant!”
 
My sincere prayer is that I will not be ashamed at how I choose to handle my dating life. I know this will not be easy but I do believe it is the right way to go. Not only will my spouse respect me for saving myself for him but also most of all God will be proud of me and He will reward me for it.

I am earnestly pleading to all my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ SAVE YOURSELF FOR YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE. Stop looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend and start praying for the person God wants you to spend the rest of your life with, to love and cherish.

I am waiting for THE AUTHOR of ROMANCE to write my love story and to bring that special someone in my life who I will spend the rest of my days fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives.

Furthermore, to those who are already in a relationship, and might have made wrong choices in the past, God can and will forgive you. He will give you a new start in the relationship if you just ask Him to.

I also encourage you to make God the center of that relationship. Believe me, you will not go wrong if you listen to God. He is the lamp unto your feet and the light unto your path!  He will not let you down. You can count on that.




Victoria Self is 15 years old and hails from Tennessee. She loves writing and photography. She is involved in a puppet ministry as an Expressive Worship team and an evangelism team. She is the second to the oldest of seven children.