GCM Home | Bible Search | Rules | Donate | Bookstore | RSS | Facebook | Twitter

Author Topic: Need help with lust issues  (Read 16247 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline blackstyle

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 170
  • Manna: 14
  • Gender: Female
  • For me to live is Christ, to die is gain...
    • View Profile
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2009, 02:43:50 PM »
Dear Kristina! Thanks for being so honest, it's a horrible issue that a lot of us struggle with, and that's why these christian message boards are so helpful, because we can encourage each other!! And I completely understand what you mean about trying to manufacture your blessing! I do this ALL THE TIME!!! You actually were able to explain it better than I did cos I knew that I was doin it, but couldn't really explain it! I too did the christian dating site thing, found a christian guy, got engaged and thought I was gonna have everything I ever dreamed of... and then unfortunately he died. So all of a sudden, I was left single again facing the prospect of being alone for the rest of my life. But, obviously that guy wasn't the one that God intended for me to marry. As hard as it was for me to acknowledge and admit to, I had to. So I'm still waiting, and working on crucifying my flesh!

Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2009, 02:43:50 PM »

rppearso

  • Guest
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2009, 12:22:58 AM »
Masterbation is not a sin as long as it is not done lusting after someone (I will not acnolage anyones retort on this issue unless you can provide concret scriptral proof that its a sin for EVERYONE not just Er lol).  The bible states that if you burn with passion you should marry.  Im not saying just marry anyone but a sex drive like that ought to motivate you to get on some christian dating sites, find christian dating singles groups, etc.  Finding a mate is not some magical experience, it takes work just like getting a degree or finding a job.  I feel there is very little guidance in chruch as to how to go about finding a mate (or even facilitation of dating in chruch) but there is plenty of condemnation if you act out, shame on the church for setting people up for failure.  I believe in providing real solutions people can work with (as I am an engineer lol) and my clients dont appreciate "well pray about it and Jesus will guide the way" lol.  If you are talking to christians and they are not offering you clear consise usefull information then they are just taking the easy way out.  Im not saying not to pray, but prayer is most useful when your hand is already on the wrench and you just need a little (or alot lol) help to turn it, if you are sitting on the couch and you have not even gone to the store to buy the wrench you are dead in the water.  You can also set up a profile on craigslist.  I will issue one word of warning, most guys want to test drive before they buy, this is because feminism has very deep roots in the church, men have alot to loose and not much to gain by getting married.  The feminism in church has drasticly set men up for failure and then when they do fail the church beats them over the head for it eventually causing them to leave (this is the story of my life lol, luckily it only cost me a year and a half alot of guys suffer for years with a sexually neglectful wife before they pull the ejection seat), the days of the submissive wife are long gone so its like a mine field for us guys to even attempt to be godly in the area of sex.  Women are trying to take on the role of the male and want the men to be submissive and that is a sick twisted evil perversion.

Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2009, 12:22:58 AM »

Offline OneLung

  • Anti-Extremist
  • Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 3579
  • Manna: 120
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2009, 07:25:06 AM »
Masterbation is not a sin as long as it is not done lusting after someone...

So masturbation is OK as long as you're thinking about NASCAR instead of Jennifer Love Hewitt? ???

If that works, you've got issues that can't be discussed on this forum.  rofl

Offline chosenone

  • Global Moderator
  • King James Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 22658
  • Manna: 473
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2009, 07:39:53 AM »
Masterbation is not a sin as long as it is not done lusting after someone (I will not acnolage anyones retort on this issue unless you can provide concret scriptral proof that its a sin for EVERYONE not just Er lol).  The bible states that if you burn with passion you should marry.  Im not saying just marry anyone but a sex drive like that ought to motivate you to get on some christian dating sites, find christian dating singles groups, etc.  Finding a mate is not some magical experience, it takes work just like getting a degree or finding a job.  I feel there is very little guidance in chruch as to how to go about finding a mate (or even facilitation of dating in chruch) but there is plenty of condemnation if you act out, shame on the church for setting people up for failure.  I believe in providing real solutions people can work with (as I am an engineer lol) and my clients dont appreciate "well pray about it and Jesus will guide the way" lol.  If you are talking to christians and they are not offering you clear consise usefull information then they are just taking the easy way out.  Im not saying not to pray, but prayer is most useful when your hand is already on the wrench and you just need a little (or alot lol) help to turn it, if you are sitting on the couch and you have not even gone to the store to buy the wrench you are dead in the water.  You can also set up a profile on craigslist.  I will issue one word of warning, most guys want to test drive before they buy, this is because feminism has very deep roots in the church, men have alot to loose and not much to gain by getting married.  The feminism in church has drasticly set men up for failure and then when they do fail the church beats them over the head for it eventually causing them to leave (this is the story of my life lol, luckily it only cost me a year and a half alot of guys suffer for years with a sexually neglectful wife before they pull the ejection seat), the days of the submissive wife are long gone so its like a mine field for us guys to even attempt to be godly in the area of sex.  Women are trying to take on the role of the male and want the men to be submissive and that is a sick twisted evil perversion.


You come accross as an angry and bitter man who has a downer on women becuase of what you demanded of your wife that she didnt want to do. You have made some very sweeping statements about marriage and men. If marriage is so awful for men then why do married man live a lot longer than unmarried ones? The married men that I know are very happy with being married and their wives.(inccluding mine) However maybe they know that the only reason for marriage isnt just to get what they want sexually and everything else takes a second place.
You really seem quite messed up.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2009, 10:42:46 AM by chosenone »

Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2009, 07:39:53 AM »
Pinterest: GraceCentered.com

rppearso

  • Guest
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2009, 01:32:43 PM »
So because I have different priorities for a relationship im "messed up"?

Masterbation is not a sin as long as it is not done lusting after someone (I will not acnolage anyones retort on this issue unless you can provide concret scriptral proof that its a sin for EVERYONE not just Er lol).  The bible states that if you burn with passion you should marry.  Im not saying just marry anyone but a sex drive like that ought to motivate you to get on some christian dating sites, find christian dating singles groups, etc.  Finding a mate is not some magical experience, it takes work just like getting a degree or finding a job.  I feel there is very little guidance in chruch as to how to go about finding a mate (or even facilitation of dating in chruch) but there is plenty of condemnation if you act out, shame on the church for setting people up for failure.  I believe in providing real solutions people can work with (as I am an engineer lol) and my clients dont appreciate "well pray about it and Jesus will guide the way" lol.  If you are talking to christians and they are not offering you clear consise usefull information then they are just taking the easy way out.  Im not saying not to pray, but prayer is most useful when your hand is already on the wrench and you just need a little (or alot lol) help to turn it, if you are sitting on the couch and you have not even gone to the store to buy the wrench you are dead in the water.  You can also set up a profile on craigslist.  I will issue one word of warning, most guys want to test drive before they buy, this is because feminism has very deep roots in the church, men have alot to loose and not much to gain by getting married.  The feminism in church has drasticly set men up for failure and then when they do fail the church beats them over the head for it eventually causing them to leave (this is the story of my life lol, luckily it only cost me a year and a half alot of guys suffer for years with a sexually neglectful wife before they pull the ejection seat), the days of the submissive wife are long gone so its like a mine field for us guys to even attempt to be godly in the area of sex.  Women are trying to take on the role of the male and want the men to be submissive and that is a sick twisted evil perversion.


You come accross as an angry and bitter man who has a downer on women becuase of what you demanded of your wife that she didnt want to do. You have made some very sweeping statements about marriage and men. If marriage is so awful for men then why do married man live a lot longer than unmarried ones? The married men that I know are very happy with being married and their wives.(inccluding mine) However maybe they know that the only reason for marriage isnt just to get what they want sexually and everything else takes a second place.
You really seem quite messed up.


Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2009, 01:32:43 PM »



Offline chosenone

  • Global Moderator
  • King James Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 22658
  • Manna: 473
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #20 on: April 26, 2009, 02:45:00 PM »
So because I have different priorities for a relationship im "messed up"?

Masterbation is not a sin as long as it is not done lusting after someone (I will not acnolage anyones retort on this issue unless you can provide concret scriptral proof that its a sin for EVERYONE not just Er lol).  The bible states that if you burn with passion you should marry.  Im not saying just marry anyone but a sex drive like that ought to motivate you to get on some christian dating sites, find christian dating singles groups, etc.  Finding a mate is not some magical experience, it takes work just like getting a degree or finding a job.  I feel there is very little guidance in chruch as to how to go about finding a mate (or even facilitation of dating in chruch) but there is plenty of condemnation if you act out, shame on the church for setting people up for failure.  I believe in providing real solutions people can work with (as I am an engineer lol) and my clients dont appreciate "well pray about it and Jesus will guide the way" lol.  If you are talking to christians and they are not offering you clear consise usefull information then they are just taking the easy way out.  Im not saying not to pray, but prayer is most useful when your hand is already on the wrench and you just need a little (or alot lol) help to turn it, if you are sitting on the couch and you have not even gone to the store to buy the wrench you are dead in the water.  You can also set up a profile on craigslist.  I will issue one word of warning, most guys want to test drive before they buy, this is because feminism has very deep roots in the church, men have alot to loose and not much to gain by getting married.  The feminism in church has drasticly set men up for failure and then when they do fail the church beats them over the head for it eventually causing them to leave (this is the story of my life lol, luckily it only cost me a year and a half alot of guys suffer for years with a sexually neglectful wife before they pull the ejection seat), the days of the submissive wife are long gone so its like a mine field for us guys to even attempt to be godly in the area of sex.  Women are trying to take on the role of the male and want the men to be submissive and that is a sick twisted evil perversion.


You come accross as an angry and bitter man who has a downer on women becuase of what you demanded of your wife that she didnt want to do. You have made some very sweeping statements about marriage and men. If marriage is so awful for men then why do married man live a lot longer than unmarried ones? The married men that I know are very happy with being married and their wives.(inccluding mine) However maybe they know that the only reason for marriage isnt just to get what they want sexually and everything else takes a second place.
You really seem quite messed up.

 

No not becuase you have different priorities, but becuase it seems that there is nothing else that matters to you except getting the particular sexual  acts that you want. That seems to be the  one and only thing that you aim for. What happens if you marry again and your wife gets ill and cant have sex, or she has an accident and cant have sex or if she refuses to do these particular  acts anymore that you say you have to have. What happens then? Do you find another women? Do you divorce her again?

rppearso

  • Guest
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #21 on: April 26, 2009, 03:30:47 PM »
Yes it most likely would end up in a divorce, she knows the vivid details of why I am getting divorced and is just as sexual (actually more so) than I am.  If someone just stops doing stuff that is a bait and switch and we talked about that as well because thats what my ex did, we have had very vivid detailed conversations about all of this.  There are still things you can do if you have had an accident and actually oral sex is easier to facilitate if someone is injured long term than intercourse and I would do the same for her, that is how marriage should be, just because I were injured does not mean she should go withtout.  We can start getting into things like what if we were abducted by aliens type scenarios but lets please not go there.

So because I have different priorities for a relationship im "messed up"?

Masterbation is not a sin as long as it is not done lusting after someone (I will not acnolage anyones retort on this issue unless you can provide concret scriptral proof that its a sin for EVERYONE not just Er lol).  The bible states that if you burn with passion you should marry.  Im not saying just marry anyone but a sex drive like that ought to motivate you to get on some christian dating sites, find christian dating singles groups, etc.  Finding a mate is not some magical experience, it takes work just like getting a degree or finding a job.  I feel there is very little guidance in chruch as to how to go about finding a mate (or even facilitation of dating in chruch) but there is plenty of condemnation if you act out, shame on the church for setting people up for failure.  I believe in providing real solutions people can work with (as I am an engineer lol) and my clients dont appreciate "well pray about it and Jesus will guide the way" lol.  If you are talking to christians and they are not offering you clear consise usefull information then they are just taking the easy way out.  Im not saying not to pray, but prayer is most useful when your hand is already on the wrench and you just need a little (or alot lol) help to turn it, if you are sitting on the couch and you have not even gone to the store to buy the wrench you are dead in the water.  You can also set up a profile on craigslist.  I will issue one word of warning, most guys want to test drive before they buy, this is because feminism has very deep roots in the church, men have alot to loose and not much to gain by getting married.  The feminism in church has drasticly set men up for failure and then when they do fail the church beats them over the head for it eventually causing them to leave (this is the story of my life lol, luckily it only cost me a year and a half alot of guys suffer for years with a sexually neglectful wife before they pull the ejection seat), the days of the submissive wife are long gone so its like a mine field for us guys to even attempt to be godly in the area of sex.  Women are trying to take on the role of the male and want the men to be submissive and that is a sick twisted evil perversion.


You come accross as an angry and bitter man who has a downer on women becuase of what you demanded of your wife that she didnt want to do. You have made some very sweeping statements about marriage and men. If marriage is so awful for men then why do married man live a lot longer than unmarried ones? The married men that I know are very happy with being married and their wives.(inccluding mine) However maybe they know that the only reason for marriage isnt just to get what they want sexually and everything else takes a second place.
You really seem quite messed up.

 

No not becuase you have different priorities, but becuase it seems that there is nothing else that matters to you except getting the particular sexual  acts that you want. That seems to be the  one and only thing that you aim for. What happens if you marry again and your wife gets ill and cant have sex, or she has an accident and cant have sex or if she refuses to do these particular  acts anymore that you say you have to have. What happens then? Do you find another women? Do you divorce her again?

Offline yesult

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 953
  • Manna: 52
    • View Profile
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #22 on: April 27, 2009, 03:48:00 AM »
Perversion is perversion. If any kind of sexual act lowers your respect for your partner, its sin. Demanding un-natural sexual acts from a woman (or man) is a one way trip into disrespect and bitterness. Also, disastisfaction, and a breaking down of trust. Lust fuels lust and perversion fuels perversion.

If you struggle with knowing if something is perverse or not - picture yourself describing it to God (remembering that you're discussing his daughter) and think about what he'd say.

Also respect what your wife says. No means no. Not maybe. The only allowable reason for divorce and remarriage recorded in the bible is serious sexual sin (pornea) which also covers perversion.

Offline yesult

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 953
  • Manna: 52
    • View Profile
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #23 on: April 27, 2009, 03:52:41 AM »
PS. And the best advice I ever heard on this subject, was run to God, not away from him when you're struggling. Because running away from him because of shame, cuts us off from our most imporant source of strength and understanding to fight it.

rppearso

  • Guest
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #24 on: April 27, 2009, 06:05:50 PM »
Physically leaving the relationship is a valid case for divorce.  If your spouse is willing to walk out on you you dont have much choise.  All the rest of your post is just your opinion.

Perversion is perversion. If any kind of sexual act lowers your respect for your partner, its sin. Demanding un-natural sexual acts from a woman (or man) is a one way trip into disrespect and bitterness. Also, disastisfaction, and a breaking down of trust. Lust fuels lust and perversion fuels perversion.

If you struggle with knowing if something is perverse or not - picture yourself describing it to God (remembering that you're discussing his daughter) and think about what he'd say.

Also respect what your wife says. No means no. Not maybe. The only allowable reason for divorce and remarriage recorded in the bible is serious sexual sin (pornea) which also covers perversion.

Offline fanuvmxpx

  • Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 3879
  • Manna: 84
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #25 on: April 28, 2009, 11:42:43 AM »
Physically leaving the relationship is a valid case for divorce.  If your spouse is willing to walk out on you you dont have much choise.  All the rest of your post is just your opinion.

You could be humble before God & your wife and ask her to come back. That's an option too. You could give your stubborness, your pride, your ego....all to God. He'll take it away from you, and you can give your wife only love, forgiveness & comfort.

Ask Him too. Then get your wife back.

rppearso

  • Guest
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #26 on: April 28, 2009, 02:04:51 PM »
I dont want her back becasue that is just inviting pain and she did not want to be here anyways otherwise she would not have left.  I believe there is a certian level of common sense that has to be applied in situations like this, if we live purely by the law in such situations we are doomed, we can not force another individual who has free will to do anything and out of preservation of our own sanity and faith we have to move on, how much more will I sin when I am with my wife who denys me than I would be to just divorce and remarry someone who loves me and takes care of me as a wife should I will have much less inclination to sin.  We can talk about what you should and shouldent do all day but the bottem line is which path is going to lead me to sin less thats the path I want to take because no path is going to lead to complete absense of sin otherwise we could save our selves and would not need christ.

Physically leaving the relationship is a valid case for divorce.  If your spouse is willing to walk out on you you dont have much choise.  All the rest of your post is just your opinion.

You could be humble before God & your wife and ask her to come back. That's an option too. You could give your stubborness, your pride, your ego....all to God. He'll take it away from you, and you can give your wife only love, forgiveness & comfort.

Ask Him too. Then get your wife back.

Offline Wycliffes_Shillelagh

  • Mod Alrighty
  • Global Moderator
  • Lee's Inner Circle Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10615
  • Manna: 313
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #27 on: April 28, 2009, 09:32:14 PM »
Masterbation is not a sin as long as it is not done lusting after someone...

So masturbation is OK as long as you're thinking about NASCAR instead of Jennifer Love Hewitt? ???

If that works, you've got issues that can't be discussed on this forum.  rofl
rofl rofl rofl rofl

Offline Archibald

  • Junior Member
  • **
  • Posts: 34
  • Manna: 2
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #28 on: April 29, 2009, 10:01:15 AM »
Wooo NASCAR.....Is it getting warm in here? Well I see we have drifted....grrr adhd!

Offline Rahn

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 428
  • Manna: 37
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Need help with lust issues
« Reply #29 on: April 29, 2009, 03:00:00 PM »
Wooo NASCAR.....Is it getting warm in here? Well I see we have drifted....grrr adhd!

I have been in a place recently where a racing car driver is displayed out in the open. It is a place of business. The driver is Danica Patrick. In the photo she is not dressed for racing. On the contrary, she is dressed to set a man's heart racing. It is out in the open for everyone to see. Any man is going to look and I know women as well. She looks great. It does not take long and lust can come to life. It is normal. Where does this lead?

It comes down to a life of prayer and meditation. I have to have a life of worship and connection to my Father. I am surrounded by things that cause lust on a daily basis. What is the greatest longing? My highest aspiration is to be with my Father someday, but now to live in His presence. The world can give me a temporary enticement but it cannot fulfill my greatest longing.

Right now I have no love life. I look around and watch the news as see some who have allowed lust to consume them. They are not happy in relationship. Their focus in relationship is wrong because God is not at the center. If and when I start dating again I do not want a relationship where God is not at the center.  ::prayinghard::