Onward Christian dating...or not!

[fassopony]

Well......I had TWO, count'em TWO guys I was all set to go out with.

One let's call George.  George and I have talked, texted, and made plans to go out last Sunday after church.  Well, time went byyyy and he finally sent me a text around 8 or so on Sunday saying he was on Mercer Island (an hour away) and had been riding his bike and was just getting back.  I said no worries, I had a cold and didn't want to go anywhere.  Haven't heard from him since.  I wake up this morning with a text from 2 am asking if I want to hang out today.  I am going to respond "no thanks".

The other let's call Frank.  We have enjoyed talking on the phone, laughing and goofing off on Facebook.  We were going to go out this weekend and he was going to decide time and place and let me know.  I have heard not a peep since Thursday.  This one I am just going to delete off Facebook, unless he is in a hospital but whatever.  Most likely he is in truth married or cheating on a girlfriend doing the online dating thing *shrug*  Good to know ahead of time!

So glad horse show season is here, no time to date anyway ;)

[JohnDB]

Awwwww.  So sorry to hear its been rough. I remember those days well. Try to focus on hanging out with friends and being a friend to as many as possible. It keeps them hopes from getting dashed.

Funny thing is the 2AM text message. I remember when it was a 2AM phone call while in a drunken stupor.

[chosenone]

yes I was on dating sites for 2 years, you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth and the good with the bad. I got my prince in the end after 2 years, and I pray that you do too. Remember that Christian man have more choice then us ladies do, and they are sometimes getting to know several ladies all at the same time, and also remember that some men are committment phobic and are ok till they actually have to MEET someone.
God Bless

[fassopony]

Oh yeah John, love hanging with my pals :)

Chosen, well, these two fellas have one less choice on their plate now, don't they?   

[happypromises]

I think you have a great attitude about it!   

And one of the best tips I ever got on dating, was that never, ever accept a same-day date....you want at least 3 days' notice.  Same-day dates often mean the guy's 'first choice' blew him off....either that or he just doesn't respect women enough to actually make proper plans.  I kinda think we all deserve a first date with a guy who's given it some thought?!   

And 2am texts....oh yeah....we all know what THAT means....

Hang in there....a good one will come along soon!

[fassopony]

Thanks Happy :)

[Lavender]

What a breath of fresh air ----- a woman who isn't desperate.   

[fassopony]

Desperation is never good (with the exception of desperation for God!).

[eaglemustfly]

Well. the best advice is: Date! Only when you don't need it. Save you from heart breaks and disappointments.
God bless you 

http://bit.ly/xSHzWS

[chosenone]

I wonder when the line is crossed between wanting something and being desperate for it? When I became single again after 23 years of marriage, I knew that as a 40 something Christian lady, the chances of me meeting a similar age Christisn available guy was very small. I accepted that(what choice did I have?) but after recovering for 3 or 4 years, I just I REALLY wanted to marry again, but it had to be the right man, not just any old man and definitely not a non believer.
Was I desperate? I don't think so. I wouldn't have settled for any old guy.  Did I really desire to meet a good Christian guy? Yes. Was I happy to meet him? Wow yes! Am I happy to be married again? yes. Would I have been happy if I was still alone? Well I love being married I have to say, and I don't like being single.
I have met ladies who seem very content being single and that's brilliant. I am pleased for them, and I suppose that we are all different aren't we.

I have to say though, that I don't believe the old, 'when you stop looking and are happy and content as a single person you will find someone'. I was being proactive when I found my husband, on a Christian dating site, as were about 7 or 8 couples that I know who also met this way.  Being totally desperate must show though, and must be a turn off.

[fassopony]

I think desperation is more like the gals who are so desperate they take any ole thing.  Like the kind of gal who say yes to a 2 am text invite to hang out.  Or willing to compromise her beliefs/morals to live with some guy.

Proactively going after what you want isn't desperate at all.

[chosenone]

yes I agree, and also desperation is staying with an awful boyfriend just because you are afraid to be alone. 

[Lavender]

I think you are right on, ladies.   

[Lavender]

Well. the best advice is: Date! Only when you don't need it. Save you from heart breaks and disappointments.
God bless you 

http://bit.ly/xSHzWS

Like that site, Successful Christians.com.   Much wisdom there.  Thanks for sharing that.

[Gallon]

I prefer not to date myself. I don't want to have to deal with excessive attachment or entering into that phase where "we're a thing, but there's no guarantee she will stay with me." I'd rather just stay friends and let that one friend that will get closer get closer, until one of us brings up that there seems to be a deeper connection and that we should consider whether we want to take it to the next level or not (next level being seriously examining whether or not we would want to marry each other- reflective and discussion phase). Anywho, sorry you were having guy trouble.

Though I will say, sometimes I might ask a girl if she wants to hang out that night. I didn't learn about the "3 day rule" until I read it on the internet somewhere.