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Author Topic: Onward Christian dating...or not!  (Read 3798 times)

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Offline divabylaw

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Re: Onward Christian dating...or not!
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2012, 07:35:00 AM »
You know the old saying, "Everything happens for a reason." Love your tenacity to move forward rather than brood over it. 

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Re: Onward Christian dating...or not!
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2012, 07:35:00 AM »

graciemay

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Re: Onward Christian dating...or not!
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2012, 11:21:34 AM »
I'm very proud of you for now wasting your time with these men.  ::clappingoverhead::

I agree with the board. Desperation is not being very selective or staying with someone just to have someone.

Anyway, I'm (gulp) in my mid 40's, active, attractive and never married. Although I would like to have someone to share my life with, I'm a little gun shy about marriage for no good reason other than I don't' want to make a mistake. It's FOREVER.

Truth be told, I don't enjoy dating. I'd prefer to just find the right one and be done with it. Unfortunately, that requires me to date. If anyone knows of a loophole, let me know.

Anyway, I stopped dating 2 years ago. Prior to that I spent a summer dating and was consistently finding men to be, well, no offense to the men here, lazy. (Men, I don't know how women behave but since I only date men, I can only speak from my experience with dating men.) Then there are those with their walls, rules & restrictions (emotional issues). No thank you.

Dating was so much easier back in the day. Ah, the good ol days. Today there just seem to be an inordinate amount of toads and a lot of nonsense. Frankly, I don't have the desire to wade through the toads to find my special guy. Maybe I'll get lucky one day and have an outcome like Paula Deen (the cook). She prayed for someone and God had him move in right next door! She met and married her neighbor. I like that story. 

Thanks for letting me ramble.

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Re: Onward Christian dating...or not!
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2012, 11:21:34 AM »

Offline fassopony

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Re: Onward Christian dating...or not!
« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2012, 11:39:48 AM »
I love Paula Deen too!!!  LOL!!!  Good for her!

I am getting to the time of year that I don't have time to date so no wading through toads much for me :)  Thanks for sharing, I so agree with you on marriage.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Onward Christian dating...or not!
« Reply #18 on: February 25, 2012, 05:13:03 PM »
Sometimes we do need to be patient though. I was on dating sites for 2 years and got to know several guys before I met 'the one'. In fact I had just given up and was giving it one more week till I came off, when he appeared. A friend of mine was on dating site for 7 YEARS, and now she is very happily married to a man she met there. We were both in our 40's at the time. It would be nice if God bought the right man to our door, but sadly that is very very rare.
Like you ladies I would never have settled for second best just to be married again. Being in a bad marriage can be very lonely.

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Re: Onward Christian dating...or not!
« Reply #18 on: February 25, 2012, 05:13:03 PM »
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Offline XtnDating

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Re: Onward Christian dating...or not!
« Reply #19 on: March 01, 2012, 05:01:04 AM »
Dating is a tough 'game' - As I said in my blog today:

Issues of sex before marriage, living together, divorce, children, family, church, money, debt, drinking and much more, all come up when a Christian has a relationship with a non-Christian.

They come up to in Christian relationships, but if both partners believe in the truth of the Bible, pray and seek God, then these issues can be worked through with His help.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says “A cord of three strands is not easily broken

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Re: Onward Christian dating...or not!
« Reply #19 on: March 01, 2012, 05:01:04 AM »



happypromises

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Re: Onward Christian dating...or not!
« Reply #20 on: March 04, 2012, 03:14:47 AM »
Well, other half and I met at work!

Up until him, I had never had a serious relationship before.  I have always struggled with my weight and even though I never got excessively overweight (no more than about 20lbs), it really messed with my self esteem and I never thought myself 'worthy'.   I always tried to glam up, to hide what was inside my head...but if a guy got close, I ran away because I thought he wouldn't like the 'real' me.   Crazy, but true.

So, one day, my boss tells me that he's hired a new guy and he wants me to call him, so that I can write his bio for the company website.  I had no idea who this guy was, but I rang, introduced myself and I remember disticntly, feeling so 'at home' with him.  I didn't even know if he was married or anything at that point.  He must have felt it too because the following day, he wrote me an email and there was definitely a touch of flirting in it!  

Because I didn't know his status (and yup, I've been burned before by 'Christian' men who flirt outrageously...draw you in...and then weeks later, suddenly mention 'the wife'), I kept my distance but I did find myself looking forward to meeting him.  The day we actually met - I was caught off guard.   I was off work, but had just run into the office to pick up some paperwork for a conference the next day.   We're a family-run company so I headed in, in old jeans and a sweater and hadn't any makeup on.   He was there...looking really suave in his suit (And whew...no sign of a ring, either!).  I didn't think he was 'my type' (he was tall and thin!) but wow, he had rather stunning blue eyes and I could see them following me around the room.   The next day, I had a Facebook request from him - I learned that way that he was definitely unattached and we began the process of being friends.

We were both VERY wary of the idea of a work relationship - there were too many unknowns and if it went wrong, it could get really unpleasant...so we actually spent a year just being pals.  We had SO much fun - went out for meals in groups of friends, a drink after work, traded silly emails and just had a big pile of fun.  There was NO pressure (even though by this point, I was DYING to kiss him!) but I just got on with life and tried to view him just as my really good buddy.    One night, we were at a work conference together at a hotel.  Afterwards, we went to the hotel lounge to have a coffee before heading home and he came and sat next to me on the hotel sofa.   We were both tired after a long day and had our heads back and I turned to look at him and I saw it in those eyes - I was 100% sure he wanted me too.   I could feel him getting just a little bit closer - till, had we not been in a public place, I am sure he would have kissed me.   The following evebing he texted me (after a WHOLE YEAR!) and finally admitted he really liked me and although it was fraught with risks because of the work situation, would I goo out for dinner with him sometime....and the rest is history.    So, we're currently in the middle of a not great situation....but I still firmly believe that God brought us together and is working this out...

And my point is that being proactive IS good, but then sometimes, God lets us walk into situations just like this one.  My friend pointed out that in the year before we got together, we WERE dating already, we just didn't realise it.   I kinda like that idea, because it's true - dating is essentially just getting to know a person, learning their values, beliefs and habits and seeing if you could be a good fit or not.  You can do that just as easily through friendship - and then sometimes, something mysterious happens, where the friendship turns to a relationship.  They are probably the best kind...because the sexual desire is rooted in a deep friendship and respect for each other, rather than it being the world's way....which can often be 'sex first....friendship later'.  A bad move!

Sorry....long story there....but yes, dating is a TOUGH game, fraught with lots of expectations and disappointments...but it is worth doing!  You learn a lot about yourself and others, through the process.  ::smile::