Seriously?!

[wolflet7]

So my ex and I broke up Tuesday night.  It was so stupid!  Monday we were having a little argument over text and when I asked how I could fix it, she kept saying "I don't know" and eventually confessed that she was considering ending the relationship.  I told her we should give it a couple days and she was fine with that.  But I started thinking that night that if she was considering breaking up with me and that was the only solution to the problem we had, then she's not worth my time. 

I texted her Tuesday night at around 6 (beforehand I finally texted her first at 2:30 and she replied fifteen minutes later saying she was with friends, so I texted back saying "It looks like you're busy, so I'll leave you alone" and she told me she would talk to me later.  At 5 she was posting on Facebook, so it was obvious she was playing very hard to get) and said "It's pretty apparent that you don't want to continue this relationship.  When and where do you want me to give you back your Hunger Games ticket?"  She had bought my ticket and I thought it was only fair if I gave it back so one of her friends could go, since I had nobody to go with besides her and our double-date friends and if I was going to break up with her that night then that was not going to happen.  Then she got mad about me not giving it a couple days.  But if her only solution to a stupid argument that we could have fixed is to break up, then that's the solution she is going to get. 

Ugh, I wish I could find a girl who doesn't just like me physically (which was obvious by what we did on open dorm nights; just watch a movie in her room and make-out during it.  When we did homework or did something in the lounge she would always want to sit on my lap or "cuddle" up next to me). 

Any advice/comfort?  Anybody?

[JohnDB]

It took me a loooonnnnngggg time to figure this one out.

People are, by nature, self serving & self centered. They prefer the tokens of ourselves to our actual personas. 

IOW your friend liked you solely for your looks & held her nose with all the rest of you that came along with it.

I've had women that liked me for my looks and or one of my attributes. But when it came time for them to like me without one of my talents they became irritated, bored and distant.  For some it was money, cooking talents, car work, handiness, or manner of speaking. But when it came to loving me & being a match on an intellectual and emotional level they were no where near me.

And that is what makes the true love of a wonderful spouse amazing. It is completely scary for most guys (and women). Most relationships go through power struggles. The great relationships don't have a power struggle "winner" only two winners.

Its rare and special when you find someone. Perfect timing of meeting your match is always in God's hands.

[IamStefanie]

People are, by nature, self serving & self centered. They prefer the tokens of ourselves to our actual personas. 

IOW your friend liked you solely for your looks & held her nose with all the rest of you that came along with it.

I've had women that liked me for my looks and or one of my attributes. But when it came time for them to like me without one of my talents they became irritated, bored and distant.  For some it was money, cooking talents, car work, handiness, or manner of speaking. But when it came to loving me & being a match on an intellectual and emotional level they were no where near me.

And that is what makes the true love of a wonderful spouse amazing. It is completely scary for most guys (and women). Most relationships go through power struggles. The great relationships don't have a power struggle "winner" only two winners.

Its rare and special when you find someone. Perfect timing of meeting your match is always in God's hands.

John, thank you and God bless you for sharing that wisdom...I needed to see this as well....relationships are important, and unfortunately, we run away from them once we meet the person behind the 'pleasing' stuff.

[ObeyTheGospel]

So my ex and I broke up Tuesday night.  It was so stupid!  Monday we were having a little argument over text and when I asked how I could fix it, she kept saying "I don't know" and eventually confessed that she was considering ending the relationship.  I told her we should give it a couple days and she was fine with that.  But I started thinking that night that if she was considering breaking up with me and that was the only solution to the problem we had, then she's not worth my time. 

I texted her Tuesday night at around 6 (beforehand I finally texted her first at 2:30 and she replied fifteen minutes later saying she was with friends, so I texted back saying "It looks like you're busy, so I'll leave you alone" and she told me she would talk to me later.  At 5 she was posting on Facebook, so it was obvious she was playing very hard to get) and said "It's pretty apparent that you don't want to continue this relationship.  When and where do you want me to give you back your Hunger Games ticket?"  She had bought my ticket and I thought it was only fair if I gave it back so one of her friends could go, since I had nobody to go with besides her and our double-date friends and if I was going to break up with her that night then that was not going to happen.  Then she got mad about me not giving it a couple days.  But if her only solution to a stupid argument that we could have fixed is to break up, then that's the solution she is going to get. 

Ugh, I wish I could find a girl who doesn't just like me physically (which was obvious by what we did on open dorm nights; just watch a movie in her room and make-out during it.  When we did homework or did something in the lounge she would always want to sit on my lap or "cuddle" up next to me). 

Any advice/comfort?  Anybody?

You're not Christians are you? You know Christians shouldn't make out before marriage?

[fcadcock]

You're not Christians are you? You know Christians shouldn't make out before marriage?

Where exactly is that in the bible?  I've read the entire thing a few times and I don't think it ever makes mention of that.  Have they added new books to it recently?  I haven't updated mine in a while and wouldn't have gotten those.

[wolflet7]

I agree; it says nothing about not making out in the Bible.  Although it also doesn't say anything about not doing anything sexual before marriage that's not sex itself.  We can interpret the Bible in a lot of different ways.  I actually made myself a rule not to make out with a girl before marriage, but I let myself go with this one 

JohnDB, thank you so much for those encouraging words.  I could see my relationship with this girl as somewhat of a power struggle and I didn't like it.  It's nice to know that great relationships aren't power struggles.

[the_distance_betweenus]

eh, physical intimacy isn't inherently bad or wrong. hugging, kissing, and the like are just signs of affection in a close relationship. If theres not a line drawn between the way you treat your significant other and any other friend the person in question is going to start feeling like they are just a friend. Its a good way to cause unnecessary strife in a relationship. now when you get into rationalizing different types of sex acts because they aren't specifically mentioned in the bible, then you're getting into murky waters.

[fcadcock]

eh, physical intimacy isn't inherently bad or wrong. hugging, kissing, and the like are just signs of affection in a close relationship. If theres not a line drawn between the way you treat your significant other and any other friend the person in question is going to start feeling like they are just a friend. Its a good way to cause unnecessary strife in a relationship. now when you get into rationalizing different types of sex acts because they aren't specifically mentioned in the bible, then you're getting into murky waters.

Well, I'm no Bill Clinton and it shows.  Personally, if it has the word "sex" in it anywhere, it's probably sex.  Or, if you have to take your pants off to do it, it seems likely that it's sex.  Making out though, nah... 

[wolflet7]

An update on this happy little tale of mine:

Last night I texted her asking her if I can ask her a question (sorry if that sounded confusing).  She texted back at 6 a.m. saying "I guess.  What is it?"  Lately I've been missing our friendship, where we had random conversations on Facebook before we were even thinking about going out.  So I texted back asking her if she missed this, because I missed it. 

The WHOLE day she didn't text back.  Finally, at midnight tonight, I texted her pretty much telling her that it's pretty apparent she still doesn't want to be my friend and that I don't deserve to be ignored like this for all my efforts for trying to mend this friendship back together.  I called her a jerk at the end.  Just simply jerk.  Better than a MUCH more colorful word I had in mind, trust me.  Then she went off on me about how I ended the relationship and she was cool with being friends with me until I sent that last text message and pretty much said it's all my fault.  Then she told me to grow up and not talk to her until I have.  Me, being the stubborn young college student that I am, wasn't going to take any more crap from her and proceeded to tell her how she was a complete JERK and how she was the one who mentioned breaking up in the first place!!!!! 

Ahh...it felt good to get that off my chest...story of my life I suppose

[catherine26]

AT first I thought that there might be hope for a reconciliation as sometimes people say things they don't mean in the heat of an argument.
But when you talked about her only appearing to want you physically, that indicated that there might not be a real friendship here.
Just a thought,
Catherine26

[graciemay]

Read your update. Yea...not good. 

For now, just leave it alone. Create space between yourself and this situation.

If there are future discussions, I would forgo the electronic conversation and talk in person.

Just my two cents.

 

[wolflet7]

I agree with both of you.  Looking back on it, before we were official it seemed as if she was trying to "butter me up" by liking all my statuses and other things.  And trust me, I am in no condition to start talking to her again.  It's been frustrating enough.

Thanks for the support guys 

[ObeyTheGospel]

You're not Christians are you? You know Christians shouldn't make out before marriage?

Where exactly is that in the bible?  I've read the entire thing a few times and I don't think it ever makes mention of that.  Have they added new books to it recently?  I haven't updated mine in a while and wouldn't have gotten those.

"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

Fornication is having sex outside of marriage. People who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of heaven, according to the word of God. Here is another scripture:

"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman, Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." (1 Corinthians 7:1-2)

[DaveW]

You're not Christians are you? You know Christians shouldn't make out before marriage?

Where exactly is that in the bible?  I've read the entire thing a few times and I don't think it ever makes mention of that.  Have they added new books to it recently?  I haven't updated mine in a while and wouldn't have gotten those.

"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

Fornication is having sex outside of marriage. People who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of heaven, according to the word of God. Here is another scripture:

"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman, Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." (1 Corinthians 7:1-2)

Um - you do know that 'making out' is not the same as having sex, right?

[ObeyTheGospel]

You're not Christians are you? You know Christians shouldn't make out before marriage?

Where exactly is that in the bible?  I've read the entire thing a few times and I don't think it ever makes mention of that.  Have they added new books to it recently?  I haven't updated mine in a while and wouldn't have gotten those.

"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

Fornication is having sex outside of marriage. People who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of heaven, according to the word of God. Here is another scripture:

"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman, Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." (1 Corinthians 7:1-2)

Um - you do know that 'making out' is not the same as having sex, right?

"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman, Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." (1 Corinthians 7:1-2)