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Author Topic: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)  (Read 2028 times)

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Offline star_night_sky_shower

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Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« on: Mon Sep 15, 2014 - 22:43:23 »
                           Hi All :)

There is this Christian Girl I like a lot. We work in the same town, but different offices, but our companies interact a lot.

How do I get to know her and ask her out on a date?

She is single.

She knows who I am, but when she is around me she is very shy and when we talk on the phone (business related, etc) she is very shy. My friends also say she is very sheltered.

She seems to like when I talk with her, but seems reluctant to go on a date, or lunch.

Is there a way I can hang out with her or get to know her better in order to get some one on one face time in order to get to know her better.

Talking on the phone is nice, but I would like to tell her how I feel and just get to know her better via face to face interaction.

Like I've mentioned she is very shy and sheltered.


Thank you All :)


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Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« on: Mon Sep 15, 2014 - 22:43:23 »

Offline Goshin

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #1 on: Mon Sep 15, 2014 - 23:31:33 »
Why should approaching her be different than any other girl? Just treat her with respect, act like a gentleman, and use good manners.

She might not want to go to a movie, a bar, club, etc, but if she likes you would probably be open to going out for coffee, lunch, etc. Somewhere there are other people around and she won't feel ill at ease till you get to know one another better. Let her meet you someplace so she can leave if she wants and not feel trapped.

Christian girls do go out on dates, that's usually how they end up getting married. It's not arranged from birth.
« Last Edit: Mon Sep 15, 2014 - 23:36:18 by Goshin »

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #1 on: Mon Sep 15, 2014 - 23:31:33 »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #2 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 03:19:55 »


Hi there
You say she is reluctant to go for lunch, so have you actually asked her? If you havent then do so, and if you have and she said no then you have to accept her answer.

Offline DaveW

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #3 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 05:16:15 »
Christian girls do go out on dates, that's usually how they end up getting married.

Not all christian groups allow casual social dating. (especially those from the Bill Gothard or the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" schools of thought)

If she is in one of those sheltered groups you may need to get approval from either her parents or congregational leadership to date her.

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #3 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 05:16:15 »

Offline Red Baker

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #4 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 05:37:10 »


Hi there
You say she is reluctant to go for lunch, so have you actually asked her? If you havent then do so, and if you have and she said no then you have to accept her answer.

The most respectful thing a young man can do toward a young woman, is to tell her of your desires, and then ask her if you can ask her father if you two can see each other.   I just said the same thing to my oldest grandson, and he said that to a young girl, who came back and said: WOW, that's very respectable toward me and my family.  Young men and women are way too young to to be able to detect what it takes to make a commitment that could last for fifty years, or more!  Parents in the last 100 years have been left to watch what will happen, instead of being a major factor in their children's decisions concerning courtship. After twenty years of Marriage~ all three of my daughters are still with their husbands and doing quite well.  The young men had to come through me to see my daughters, or, they would not have seen them.  Most young men treat girls as if they have a right to them, and that's against God's way.  It is the father's responsibility to protect his daughters from a life of misery as much as he can. 

 

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #4 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 05:37:10 »



Offline chosenone

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #5 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 06:39:03 »


Hi there
You say she is reluctant to go for lunch, so have you actually asked her? If you havent then do so, and if you have and she said no then you have to accept her answer.

The most respectful thing a young man can do toward a young woman, is to tell her of your desires, and then ask her if you can ask her father if you two can see each other.   I just said the same thing to my oldest grandson, and he said that to a young girl, who came back and said: WOW, that's very respectable toward me and my family.  Young men and women are way too young to to be able to detect what it takes to make a commitment that could last for fifty years, or more!  Parents in the last 100 years have been left to watch what will happen, instead of being a major factor in their children's decisions concerning courtship. After twenty years of Marriage~ all three of my daughters are still with their husbands and doing quite well.  The young men had to come through me to see my daughters, or, they would not have seen them.  Most young men treat girls as if they have a right to them, and that's against God's way.  It is the father's responsibility to protect his daughters from a life of misery as much as he can. 

 


Do you think that is still the case if the girl is an adult and working and maybe even living away from home?
I wouldnt have been pleased if every young man had to go through my father, even after I was an adult. Mind you I left home at 19, and back then people were dating/marrying at a far younger age than now. 

Offline Red Baker

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #6 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 07:53:21 »
Do you think that is still the case if the girl is an adult and working and maybe even living away from home?

Judy,

Our thinking must be molded by God's word, not society and their way of doing things.  Personally, young women should not leave home, until they are married.  Sister, I know it is hard for you to receive that, because that's not the way the world thinks and does things, but the scriptures would support any man who believe the way that I just mentioned and practices it.  If you desire scriptures, then there are many.  Do we truly follow the word of God in every area of our life?  We must, if we desire God's approval and blessings, which should be paramount in our life.

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #7 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 07:57:39 »
Do you think that is still the case if the girl is an adult and working and maybe even living away from home?

Judy,

Our thinking must be molded by God's word, not society and their way of doing things.  Personally, young women should not leave home, until they are married.  Sister, I know it is hard for you to receive that, because that's not the way the world thinks and does things, but the scriptures would support any man who believe the way that I just mentioned and practices it.  If you desire scriptures, then there are many.  Do we truly follow the word of God in every area of our life?  We must, if we desire God's approval and blessings, which should be paramount in our life.

Do you think a woman should be able to further her education after the primary and high school years?

In order to do so, women *have* to leave, because there are no universities in our small town.

I believe it was a custom, not a commandment that a woman live with her family until betrothal.

Some families are not nurturing and safe, and *have* to be escaped from.

Offline DaveW

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #8 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 08:12:28 »
Personally, young women should not leave home, until they are married. 

What is this, another way to twist CENI into a caricature of itself?

What you cite in scripture is by way of EXAMPLE, not COMMAND. It should not be elevated to the level of command.

Offline Red Baker

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #9 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 08:16:57 »
Do you think a woman should be able to further her education after the primary and high school years?

I love both you and Judy as sister in the faith, so please do not take any thing personal.

My daughters finished at Clemson University, but lived at home since we are only thirty minutes away~and they went on to get a doctorate and another master in accounting~so I am not agaisnt them doing that, and by all means they should if they desire to do so.

Quote
In order to do so, women *have* to leave, because there are no universities in our small town.

Sister, if you and your husband are in agreement, then you have that liberty from God.  But I had the same liberty to not let any boys have free access, without godly restraints with my girls~and I set the rules, not them.

Quote
Some families are not nurturing and safe, and *have* to be escaped from.
   

I understand, and agree.  But still, young men must not take the liberty do do as they desire, without going through the proper authority, with their blessings and approval. 

Offline Red Baker

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #10 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 08:21:28 »
Personally, young women should not leave home, until they are married. 

What is this, another way to twist CENI into a caricature of itself?

What you cite in scripture is by way of EXAMPLE, not COMMAND. It should not be elevated to the level of command.

Dave, I plainly said "Personally"~which means that I must allow liberty toward my fellow believers.

Offline AVZ

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #11 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 08:22:25 »


Hi there
You say she is reluctant to go for lunch, so have you actually asked her? If you havent then do so, and if you have and she said no then you have to accept her answer.

The most respectful thing a young man can do toward a young woman, is to tell her of your desires, and then ask her if you can ask her father if you two can see each other.   I just said the same thing to my oldest grandson, and he said that to a young girl, who came back and said: WOW, that's very respectable toward me and my family.  Young men and women are way too young to to be able to detect what it takes to make a commitment that could last for fifty years, or more!  Parents in the last 100 years have been left to watch what will happen, instead of being a major factor in their children's decisions concerning courtship. After twenty years of Marriage~ all three of my daughters are still with their husbands and doing quite well.  The young men had to come through me to see my daughters, or, they would not have seen them.  Most young men treat girls as if they have a right to them, and that's against God's way.  It is the father's responsibility to protect his daughters from a life of misery as much as he can. 


Yeah, or even better...you can ask her if your father can meet up with her father so they can have a beer and haggle over the dowry... :)

Offline MeMyself

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #12 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 08:25:23 »
Do you think a woman should be able to further her education after the primary and high school years?

I love both you and Judy as sister in the faith, so please do not take any thing personal.

My daughters finished at Clemson University, but lived at home since we are only thirty minutes away~and they went on to get a doctorate and another master in accounting~so I am not agaisnt them doing that, and by all means they should if they desire to do so.

Quote
In order to do so, women *have* to leave, because there are no universities in our small town.

Sister, if you and your husband are in agreement, then you have that liberty from God.  But I had the same liberty to not let any boys have free access, without godly restraints with my girls~and I set the rules, not them.

Quote
Some families are not nurturing and safe, and *have* to be escaped from.
   

I understand, and agree.  But still, young men must not take the liberty do do as they desire, without going through the proper authority, with their blessings and approval. 

Oh, I wasn't taking it personally. I just was wondering about girls that are from very small towns and what the thought would be there.

I appreciate your "personally" comment.  :) That makes it one of a Romans 14 issue, rather than hard and fast "you aren't obeying the Word" kinda stand.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

Offline DaveW

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #13 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 08:25:56 »
Ya know - we have strayed afar from what the OP asked.  Star Night - have we adequatly answered your question?

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #14 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 08:29:37 »
Dave, I plainly said "Personally"~which means that I must allow liberty toward my fellow believers.

Very good then.  I was not quite sure what you meant by "Personally."

Offline Red Baker

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #15 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 08:34:11 »


Hi there
You say she is reluctant to go for lunch, so have you actually asked her? If you havent then do so, and if you have and she said no then you have to accept her answer.

The most respectful thing a young man can do toward a young woman, is to tell her of your desires, and then ask her if you can ask her father if you two can see each other.   I just said the same thing to my oldest grandson, and he said that to a young girl, who came back and said: WOW, that's very respectable toward me and my family.  Young men and women are way too young to to be able to detect what it takes to make a commitment that could last for fifty years, or more!  Parents in the last 100 years have been left to watch what will happen, instead of being a major factor in their children's decisions concerning courtship. After twenty years of Marriage~ all three of my daughters are still with their husbands and doing quite well.  The young men had to come through me to see my daughters, or, they would not have seen them.  Most young men treat girls as if they have a right to them, and that's against God's way.  It is the father's responsibility to protect his daughters from a life of misery as much as he can. 


Yeah, or even better...you can ask her if your father can meet up with her father so they can have a beer and haggle over the dowry... :)

Beer sounds good, and the dowry even better.  :)

Offline chosenone

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #16 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 08:59:31 »


Hi there
You say she is reluctant to go for lunch, so have you actually asked her? If you havent then do so, and if you have and she said no then you have to accept her answer.

The most respectful thing a young man can do toward a young woman, is to tell her of your desires, and then ask her if you can ask her father if you two can see each other.   I just said the same thing to my oldest grandson, and he said that to a young girl, who came back and said: WOW, that's very respectable toward me and my family.  Young men and women are way too young to to be able to detect what it takes to make a commitment that could last for fifty years, or more!  Parents in the last 100 years have been left to watch what will happen, instead of being a major factor in their children's decisions concerning courtship. After twenty years of Marriage~ all three of my daughters are still with their husbands and doing quite well.  The young men had to come through me to see my daughters, or, they would not have seen them.  Most young men treat girls as if they have a right to them, and that's against God's way.  It is the father's responsibility to protect his daughters from a life of misery as much as he can. 


Yeah, or even better...you can ask her if your father can meet up with her father so they can have a beer and haggle over the dowry... :)

Beer sounds good, and the dowry even better.  :)

People marry so much later today, so most young people do leave home for several years before they marry. All three of my children had left home completely by age 24, and I was pleased in that I wanted them to be independent young people and to be able to learn to look after themselves before they married. It did them all the world of good and they matured because of it. In my time many did marry straight from home because they married in their late teens and early 20's like I did. 

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #17 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 09:05:55 »
All three of my children had left home completely by age 24, and I was pleased in that I wanted them to be independent young people and to be able to learn to look after themselves before they married. It did them all the world of good and they matured because of it. 

I agree.  I was so crippled by the teaching that I was incapable and that someone *had* to take care of me, that I looked to people to fill me up.  I had to break away to find my relationship with God, grow strong in Him and learn that He didn't see me as incapable, but strong when I walk with Him and made with a purpose. 
I am independent when I have to be, but love working with my dh.  I needed to grow up -away from my parents- and their sheltering me, as a young adult woman to find myself in the Lord.

I want that for all my kids too...though it is hard to see them go...
« Last Edit: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 09:08:18 by MeMyself »

Offline star_night_sky_shower

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #18 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 09:18:23 »
                           Hi All :)

There is this Christian Girl I like a lot. We work in the same town, but different offices, but our companies interact a lot.

How do I get to know her and ask her out on a date?

She is single.

She knows who I am, but when she is around me she is very shy and when we talk on the phone (business related, etc) she is very shy. My friends also say she is very sheltered.

She seems to like when I talk with her, but seems reluctant to go on a date, or lunch.

Is there a way I can hang out with her or get to know her better in order to get some one on one face time in order to get to know her better.

Talking on the phone is nice, but I would like to tell her how I feel and just get to know her better via face to face interaction.

Like I've mentioned she is very shy and sheltered.


Thank you All :)


          Hi All :)


She is in her late 20s. She lives at home with her Parents and works relatively close to her home and community.

Yes, I've asked her to lunch before, but she said "I'm not sure", but I did call her on the phone and we talked for awhile.

It might just not be meant to be.

I'd really like to get to know her better. When we interact with business related calls she seems excited to hear from me, but perhaps this is how she talks with everyone.

Another question:

Is there a certain way to attract a Christian Girl?



Thank you All :)

 ::juggle::  ::disco::   

(I just used the above smileys because they look fun)



Offline chosenone

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #19 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 10:41:44 »
                           Hi All :)

There is this Christian Girl I like a lot. We work in the same town, but different offices, but our companies interact a lot.

How do I get to know her and ask her out on a date?

She is single.

She knows who I am, but when she is around me she is very shy and when we talk on the phone (business related, etc) she is very shy. My friends also say she is very sheltered.

She seems to like when I talk with her, but seems reluctant to go on a date, or lunch.

Is there a way I can hang out with her or get to know her better in order to get some one on one face time in order to get to know her better.

Talking on the phone is nice, but I would like to tell her how I feel and just get to know her better via face to face interaction.

Like I've mentioned she is very shy and sheltered.


Thank you All :)


          Hi All :)


She is in her late 20s. She lives at home with her Parents and works relatively close to her home and community.

Yes, I've asked her to lunch before, but she said "I'm not sure", but I did call her on the phone and we talked for awhile.

It might just not be meant to be.

I'd really like to get to know her better. When we interact with business related calls she seems excited to hear from me, but perhaps this is how she talks with everyone.

Another question:

Is there a certain way to attract a Christian Girl?



Thank you All :)

 ::juggle::  ::disco::   

(I just used the above smileys because they look fun)



 

OK so she is well into adulthood but still hasnt left home. Maybe ask her once more, maybe just for a coffee this time, and if she says the same I am afraid you will have to leave it.


Offline Goshin

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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #20 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 11:38:04 »
Another question:

Is there a certain way to attract a Christian Girl?



Thank you All :)

 ::juggle::  ::disco::   

(I just used the above smileys because they look fun)

Wear a necklace made out of red liquorice twists. Christian girls love red liquorice.   ::takingphoto::  ::giggle::

Seriously though, just make her aware your intentions are honorable and you'd like to get to know her on a social basis. If she really is the shy sheltered type in her late 20's, deep down she'd probably like the chance to go out with a nice guy she could trust, no strings attached. Just remember to mind your manners.


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Re: Shy, Sheltered Christian Girl I like. (See Below)
« Reply #21 on: Tue Sep 16, 2014 - 11:42:59 »
Star - how old are you?

 

     
anything