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Author Topic: People say such stupid things...  (Read 2336 times)

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happypromises

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People say such stupid things...
« on: March 04, 2012, 05:18:04 AM »
Recently, a friend who recently registered with a Christian dating site, gave me her password and asked me to log into her account and give some honest feedback on her profile.  She said I could also read her messages if I wanted to....and I was simply blown away by how RUDE some people are!

The friend in question is involved with 2 churches - one in her local community (which she feels is important) but because it's not exactly spiritually 'bouncy', and she commutes a long way into work, she also goes to another one mid-week by her office, which allows her to get spiritually fed....which in turn, gives her the strength to continue giving support to the church in her community.  No big deal, right?   

Her first message on the site is from a man who says that because she goes to two churches, they will not be 'spiritually compatible' as he finds this inconsistent with scripture (riiiiggghhhhtt!).   The next man emails her to say 'hi' and then suggests that from her pictures, she might want to start styling her hair in a different way, as he thinks she'd look MUCH more attractive that way.

Better still....was the message from a guy commenting on her picture of her in a marathon, suggesting that women runners may in fact just be lesbians.   

And so it goes on!   No wonder the poor girl is feeling hammered and useless and pretty much unattractive to her core.   What is wrong with people?  Sorry people....I had no idea that online dating could be so vile and unpleasant!

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People say such stupid things...
« on: March 04, 2012, 05:18:04 AM »

Offline chosenone

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Re: People say such stupid things...
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2012, 05:46:30 AM »
I was on Christisn dating sites for 2 years and never got such rude messages. Maybe she needs to try another site(and make sure it is one for born again believers).Many will say they are Christians but that means nothing.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

It is by Grace we have been saved though Faith and not by works so that no one can boast.

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Re: People say such stupid things...
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2012, 05:46:30 AM »

p.rehbein

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Re: People say such stupid things...
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2012, 06:47:14 AM »
"virtual-companionship"

oxymoron?

 ::pondering:: ::shrug::


Most anyone can join a Christian website, they don't have to be Christian, just play-pretend will do most times.  Shoot, don't we have proof enough of that right here on Grace Centered?

 ::pondering:: ::shrug::

Offline fassopony

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Re: People say such stupid things...
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2012, 01:10:50 PM »
Poor thing :(  And I agree, people can be ruuuuude!

Tell her to keep her chin up and be thankful she knows quickly that they are, ahem, "not compatible".  Think of it this way, those rude messages are a big ole red flag saying "do not go out with my sorry rude butt" LOL!!!!


AND!  Stay FAR FAR away from eharmony, that place advertises as a "Christian" site but it encourages new age feel good sex anytime behavior from it's members.  Just read their forums if you want proof :)    I was chastised by one of their mods who identified herself as a new ager and informed me that "my god" may not be the same as anyone elses "god" and who was I to not want to have sex before marriage??  Yeah, I cancelled that membership post haste!

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Re: People say such stupid things...
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2012, 01:10:50 PM »
Pinterest: GraceCentered.com

graciemay

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Re: People say such stupid things...
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2012, 04:45:23 PM »
Ewww.

Listen, there are ill mannered trolls in EVERY group. Christan's included! People are rude!

I hope your friend is not discouraged. I agree with fassopony. At least she can rule them out. DELETE!!


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Re: People say such stupid things...
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2012, 04:45:23 PM »



Offline psalm22

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Re: People say such stupid things...
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2012, 02:36:21 PM »
UUUGHHHHH!  That makes me so sad but I know it is true.  Dating sites or online anything just drives me nuts.  Even singles groups and other face to face opportunities these days. 

Does anyone else feel like dating is more of a job interview than a job interview?  I know it is tough when we are all so busy that it is hard to find time to interact or get out.  When you are a single parent it makes it that much tougher.  It just feels like people try and define each other for their mating potential before they even get to know each other.

After getting divorced I tried it all, including getting serious with someone who I was a perfect match on paper with untill we found out that we drove each other batty.

The only advise I can offer anyone is what I do when I get frustrated because things are not working out like I had planned.  Give it to God and don't take it back.  I gave up, stopped looking and I have been blessed to become engaged to a wonderful woman that had been right there for a long time.  We had always been friends but I had discounted the possiblity of a romantic relationship with her for a variety of reasons from "she would not be interested in me like that" to "we would never be a good fit that way".  Once I let go, our relationship began to grow and grow.  I am very blessed.

"Be still and know that I am God."

Offline chosenone

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Re: People say such stupid things...
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2012, 03:32:18 PM »
psalm22, that's good that it worked for you to stop making that effort yourself, but for me, it was in making that effort that I found the love of my life. There is no way that I would have met him otherwise(he didnt live in my area, and i had never met him before the dating site) and I would have missed out on a great marriage/husband.
For Christian women for whom there is often very little or no choice of available guys in churches, the internet can be the only place that they will meet anyone.I know 7 Christian couples who met this way.
Sometimes we need to be proactive, but we all need to listen to what God is saying to us as individuals in this, and God clearly led me to go this way, just as he led you not to.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

It is by Grace we have been saved though Faith and not by works so that no one can boast.

Offline IamStefanie

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Re: People say such stupid things...
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2012, 08:41:30 PM »
Does anyone else feel like dating is more of a job interview than a job interview?  I know it is tough when we are all so busy that it is hard to find time to interact or get out.  When you are a single parent it makes it that much tougher.  It just feels like people try and define each other for their mating potential before they even get to know each other.


Amen, especially at the first statement. Yes, I laugh because there are actually BOOKS, siminars and other vehicles out there to tell you HOW to conduct yourself when meeting someone. It's like you can't even be you. I've learned this over the last year: Be myself. And if whoever isn't feeling it, then at least I know the truth than operating as someone else, then being in a meaningless relationship. And it's like when meeting someone, certain criteria must stand first before proceeding.

Now, I will say this tho: we are living in a fallen world, so I'm not all that surprised. And because the operations of the world are different from what they were, say, 50 years ago, we do feel the need to ask more questions. Which can be a good thing because at least you don't get into a relationship with someone only to be in 'hell' for 20, 30 or even 50 years. But I think tho that is the downside to the dating saga too: it can make things uncomfortable from the beginning. We are no longer living on faith and the good ol love feelings. It's all analytical and logical....but I'm not giving up hope, I have faith and I do believe in that good ol love feeling and the Love that endures. But I will have to ask a questions or two before I proceed. It is what it is...

But I have had to be still and allow God to really lead me in this thing...