GCM Home | Bible Search | Rules | Donate | Bookstore | RSS | Facebook | Twitter

Author Topic: The christian/non christian marriage  (Read 23920 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline maxwise

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
  • Manna: 0
    • View Profile
The christian/non christian marriage
« on: March 03, 2008, 09:14:48 PM »
I am not married to a non Christian, but am seriously considering doing so. Most Christians bring up 2 Cor 6:14 (unequally yoked) that it is disobedience and sin against God. However, it is my opinion that in 2 Cor 6:14 (when taken in context and looking at the Greek), Paul is actually referring to Christians living in Corinth and pagan temple practices and that Paul is not directly referring to marriage, but talking in general terms. Naturally, I see that there could be many complications with such a marriage such as child raising. And as a whole it does seem unwise in most instances, but I cannot find where the Bible specifically says it is a sin. We do go to church together and because he was at one time a Christian we can discuss many Christian things and he even encourages me if I have had a bad day using Scriptures. He also respects my beliefs and tells me I should pray if I am dealing with a situation. He has also stated that he will NEVER return to God that he has chosen to remain agnostic, which is heartwrenching.

I have an issue because my past relationship with a Christian minister was horrible. In fact, I was once a full time missionary. I met this minister in seminary, and he became extremely violent. Coming from such a horrible situation, the non Christian issue does not seem so bad to me. We love each other dearly and respect each other and he is extremely moral and kind.

I am not looking for approval, but what I am looking for is to hear about real experiences from those who know people or are in a spiritually mixed relationships themselves. I would greatly appreciate any insight you could give me. I am praying about the situation and I know it is ultimately a decision only I can make. Thank you for taking the time to read through this long post.


Christian Forums and Message Board

The christian/non christian marriage
« on: March 03, 2008, 09:14:48 PM »

Offline janine

  • Guardian-Patroller of Lee's Outer Darkness
  • Global Moderator
  • Lee's Inner Circle Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14001
  • Manna: 370
  • Gender: Female
  • Good Stuff
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2008, 09:47:56 PM »
Never the best plan in the world, to tie your life intimately to another person's life, if the two of you serve two different masters.

However, I've met mixed couples who managed to get along fine with just him or just her being Christian.

*You may not live in a glass house, but everyone has windows.*
* I'm a fool for Christ.  Whose fool are you? *
"I'd have a suicide bombers' convention and they can all blow each other up." Keith Richards
* *Link Removed* * *Link Removed* * *Link Removed* *
"Jesus did not barf all over the woman taken in adultery"---malik3000

Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2008, 09:47:56 PM »

Offline Pokhara

  • I have never lived in Pokhara.
  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 315
  • Manna: 14
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2008, 11:35:46 AM »
I've just checked the passage in YLT, which is probably the best ever scholarship translation, and I see no reason to doubt that this is an exhortation not to marry non-Christians.

You might be very happy married to a non-Christian, but equally you might be very happy committing adultery.  God's laws are there to be obeyed.

Sorry to be blunt, but that's me. ::eatingpopcorn:
Faith without deeds is useless - James 2: 20

Offline Charles Sloan

  • Prisoner of Grace
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 5404
  • Manna: 2209
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2008, 11:42:08 AM »
I've just checked the passage in YLT, which is probably the best ever scholarship translation...

Off topic but I have to praise your preferences since they are so close to my own.
Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways.
For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.
Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.  — Psalm 128:1-3

I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name. — Psalm 138:2

Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. — Colossians 4:6

Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2008, 11:42:08 AM »

Offline maxwise

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
  • Manna: 0
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2008, 03:29:09 PM »
"14Become not yoked with others -- unbelievers, for what partaking [is there] to righteousness and lawlessness? (YLT)"

Hmmm.... I think it is necessary to look at the original language to find the context for the scripture. You stated, "No reason to doubt." I would not base something this serious off a "reasoning." Like, "well it seems right or it seems as it should be this way." Most theologians will tell you as I stated in the original post that the Bible does not say marriage to a non believer is a sin or against God's law. But taking the verse in general terms, I think one could even be unequally yoked to someone of a different denomination, etc... or someone who was an acholic, angry and cheated on their spouse all the time. Meaning one could pull down the other.

I dont say that to  condone marriage to an unbeliever per say. I agree that it seems unwise and not the ideal. Again, two different goals and two different core beliefs would be difficult. I was just wanting to hear about real experiences because I have not met many in spiritually mixed marriages.

Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2008, 03:29:09 PM »



Offline janine

  • Guardian-Patroller of Lee's Outer Darkness
  • Global Moderator
  • Lee's Inner Circle Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14001
  • Manna: 370
  • Gender: Female
  • Good Stuff
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2008, 07:50:53 PM »
Perhaps one of the members with an unbelieving spouse can share some things about the topic.
*You may not live in a glass house, but everyone has windows.*
* I'm a fool for Christ.  Whose fool are you? *
"I'd have a suicide bombers' convention and they can all blow each other up." Keith Richards
* *Link Removed* * *Link Removed* * *Link Removed* *
"Jesus did not barf all over the woman taken in adultery"---malik3000

Offline GloryB

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 431
  • Manna: 15
  • Gender: Female
  • waiting on Jesus
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2008, 06:59:25 PM »
We do go to church together and because he was at one time a Christian we can discuss many Christian things and he even encourages me if I have had a bad day using Scriptures. He also respects my beliefs and tells me I should pray if I am dealing with a situation. He has also stated that he will NEVER return to God that he has chosen to remain agnostic, which is heartwrenching.


He's calling himself an 'agnostic' due to something that happened he associates with the church....therefore God.  Agnostic is a real goofy word people sometimes use when they don't know how they feel.  If he's going to church and knows the scriptures....I think more than likely he has simply broken fellowship with God.....not turned completely away from God.  I have an older son who did the same thing when they lost a child a few years ago.

I think you should pray for him and let God move in his heart.  If you can agree on how you plan to raise your children and not feel uncomfortable with a Bible laying around, if you can agree on movies, other entertainment, friends, etc...without you feeling like you are breaking your own personal standard....then you guys should be just fine.

I just don't think, according to your story, that he is an unbeliever.  He just needs some healing.

Offline DiamondHobbit

  • Junior Member
  • **
  • Posts: 16
  • Manna: 0
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2008, 06:22:28 PM »
I'm also seeking answers to my situation similar to this....except my dude is a Druid. My post in in the Love and marriage relationships forum.

Offline Hehealedme

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1424
  • Manna: 87
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2008, 08:05:11 PM »
Quote
He's calling himself an 'agnostic' due to something that happened he associates with the church....therefore God.  Agnostic is a real goofy word people sometimes use when they don't know how they feel.  If he's going to church and knows the scriptures....I think more than likely he has simply broken fellowship with God.....not turned completely away from God.  I have an older son who did the same thing when they lost a child a few years ago.




Been there, lived it with my husband...


We had a first child, a little girl, in 1991...then we had a little boy in 1994 that died when he was only 20 days old...that brought me closer to God ten years later...but it brought my husband so much farther...

I have always believed in God but did not obey His commandments as much as I should have had. Once I have repented and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour and started reading the Bible, studying it and praying and going to Church, my husband couldn't accept it. That was in 2004...we were even prior to that year, already using very different ways to educate our daughter...

Then, in 2006, I was getting too ''religious'' and ''nuts'' to their liking...he ran off with another woman with our 14 year old daughter at the time...I was no longer a good enough wife for him or a good enough mom for our daughter......

We were obviously serving two very different ''masters''...I wanted God in our lives and he wanted money and another woman instead...our daughter wanted freedom to do whatever she wanted so she followed him...

I now live alone...

Offline scottselenak

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 1
  • Manna: 0
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #9 on: March 17, 2009, 02:09:20 PM »
1 Corinthians 7:12-14

 12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.



Offline wolflet7

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 424
  • Manna: 8
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #10 on: March 17, 2009, 04:30:55 PM »
Quote
He's calling himself an 'agnostic' due to something that happened he associates with the church....therefore God.  Agnostic is a real goofy word people sometimes use when they don't know how they feel.  If he's going to church and knows the scriptures....I think more than likely he has simply broken fellowship with God.....not turned completely away from God.  I have an older son who did the same thing when they lost a child a few years ago.




Been there, lived it with my husband...


We had a first child, a little girl, in 1991...then we had a little boy in 1994 that died when he was only 20 days old...that brought me closer to God ten years later...but it brought my husband so much farther...

I have always believed in God but did not obey His commandments as much as I should have had. Once I have repented and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour and started reading the Bible, studying it and praying and going to Church, my husband couldn't accept it. That was in 2004...we were even prior to that year, already using very different ways to educate our daughter...

Then, in 2006, I was getting too ''religious'' and ''nuts'' to their liking...he ran off with another woman with our 14 year old daughter at the time...I was no longer a good enough wife for him or a good enough mom for our daughter......

We were obviously serving two very different ''masters''...I wanted God in our lives and he wanted money and another woman instead...our daughter wanted freedom to do whatever she wanted so she followed him...

I now live alone...

You made a right and very hard decision.  Don't let Satan bring you down because you are alone, you should be thankful!

Offline Hehealedme

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1424
  • Manna: 87
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #11 on: March 17, 2009, 05:54:59 PM »
I am in deed thankful that I now live alone...I am not lonely though, that makes a huge difference...the latest news is that my daughter no longer lives with her father since the end of February. It took her close to three years but she finally saw her father's true colors...there is a good possibility that she may come back and live with me...she is temporarily staying with a very nice couple until her school year is over...she will turn 18 years old in July...

Offline wolflet7

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 424
  • Manna: 8
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2009, 05:37:31 PM »
That is wonderful news Hehealedme!  Another child of God might have an opportunity to be saved!  This is just an example of how many surprises God throws at us in our lives. 

Offline MorganTheAngel

  • Junior Member
  • **
  • Posts: 36
  • Manna: 1
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2009, 07:31:20 AM »
Here's What I think - God accepts everyone for who they are, it doesn't matter what religion they are. He accepts them no matter what, and if you love someone, God will be happy that you are happy. I think if you love this person you should be able to marry them, just be careful with deciding what religion your kids will take on. If you are willing to accept the fact that there might be tension between yalls because of the difference in beliefs, but as long as you are happy, then God is happy too<33

Offline chosenone

  • Global Moderator
  • King James Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 20561
  • Manna: 461
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: The christian/non christian marriage
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2009, 07:40:29 PM »
Here's What I think - God accepts everyone for who they are, it doesn't matter what religion they are. He accepts them no matter what, and if you love someone, God will be happy that you are happy. I think if you love this person you should be able to marry them, just be careful with deciding what religion your kids will take on. If you are willing to accept the fact that there might be tension between yalls because of the difference in beliefs, but as long as you are happy, then God is happy too<33


 This thing about God wanting you to be happy so go ahead and do what you want is a fallacy. He has given us boundaries and if we go outside them then we will suffer. I know of several lovely ladies who I know who have become Christians since they married and they have had so much sadnes and trouble becuase they are living on the light and their husbands arent. I see it all of the time.
An ex sister in law of mine is living with a man who doesnt believe and she is just now growing back to God and he dosnt like her going to church and what happens when God convicts her about living in sin?. Her boyfriend has said that he never wants to get married again and she may well  have to choose eventaully between him and God.
Another lady who I know divorced her husband, went out with a non Christian man in the hope that he would become one so she could marry him. She said that she would never sleep with him, but guess what, she did sleep with him, he never became a Christian and he never asked her to marry him. She is now lonely and alone and is clinging onto her two adult sons as she dosnt want them to leave home.
Dont do it it isnt worth it.Gods advice to us is alwys for our own good, and He made us so He knows best.
God does want the best for us and he wants us to be happy but only within the boundaries that he has set. He wil find a Christian wife/husband for you so wait for that time and dont jump the gun by going out with someone who isnt a Christian.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."