New here...I am struggling. I have been a Christian for more then 20 years. I love God with all my heart and have a relationship. I cherish my relationship with God. I have dated the same man for 3 years. I thought we were in love and I thought were headed toward marriage. He recently told me he did not want a relationship and did not love me after all. Within days he is on a major dating site seeking a relationship. I am beyond crushed, hurt and feel abandoned. But I am experiencing something I am not sure I have ever experienced and that is hate. I have gone to the Word. Fell on my knees begging God to remove it... but I hate him for hurting me. What he has told me for 3 years is a lie. How do I swallow that and just move on. More then anything I don't want to carry hate. But how do I let it go. The betrayal is more then I know how to deal with. Thanks for any thoughts.
Thanks for sharing your deep feelings of pain and anger regarding the difficult breakup between you and your former boyfriend. I am sorry for the grief and loss he caused you.
I don't think you hate your former boyfriend. You hate the emotional pain he caused through his misleading actions. You are hating the 'sin' not the sinner.
Love is the only force which drives out feelings of anger and hate. In this case, love would be tending to your feelings of pain and betrayal, first. As other posters pointed out, journaling is a good way to describe intimate feelings with yourself in a safe place, and so is talking with close friends or a pastor / counselor / priest. Once you are able to clear out some of the pain, in a gentle way with awareness of your true feelings about your relationship with your previous boyfriend, it will be easier to work on forgiving him.
There are people who can and would be willing to offer support, emotional and spiritual, which can help rebuild your faith and trust in God and yourself.
In God's Name.