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Offline dothackzero

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Will I be single forever?
« on: Thu Oct 23, 2014 - 16:40:25 »
I'm 26 years old, I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I'm about 5'7" feet tall. I have dirty blond longish curly hair. I'm around 149 pounds.

I tend to be very shy around people till I get to know them, but once I get to know them I start to open up a lot more and become more myself around as long as I feel accepted for who I am, if I start to feel judged or unaccepted I close myself off again.

I'm a Christian, I have relationship based faith in God and not one based on rules.

I'm in school going for computer science(programming). I'm mostly a indoor person so I tend to play video games, watch anime, play Magic: The Gathering and listen to music (Mostly different types of metal). So basically what you'd expect from a geek, though I would be willing to try some more stuff if it was with a girl I liked.

I do have some other interests like psychology, culture, mythology, science, sci-fi science like string theory, parallel universes. Really, I do have a lot of interests I just choose to take focus on God, programming, video games and anime.

I tend to like staying in smaller groups without too much noise. In a more relaxed setting so it makes talking to other easier. I don't really have a problem with things being loud, but just not when I'm trying to get to know someone. I'm the type of guy that only needs a few friends to be happy, but at the same time I need to feel connected to people I'm with or I'll start getting lonely.

White/Blue: http://www.colorcode.com/about/
 ISFP - http://www.personalitypage.com/ISFP.html
 ISFJ - http://www.personalitypage.com/ISFJ.html

 Can't really say that I much faith that I'll find someone. I mean I've been looking for a girlfriend for 10 years, and I've still never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl yet. My friends aren't any help in helping me find someone. I can't even say that I have any friends that are girls. On the few times I tried to get anywhere with a girl, it was always met with rejection, including just friends with girl or just hanging out with her. I haven't even been able to get a girl in a online dating site. Even when I have tried to talking to a girl, I can only talk to her for a seconds before she loses interest or gets distracted. I haven't even gotten a hug from a girl over last few months and even when I do get one, it only half of a freaking second long. Like the they just doing it get it over with, not because they actually care.
« Last Edit: Thu Oct 23, 2014 - 16:43:47 by dothackzero »

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Will I be single forever?
« on: Thu Oct 23, 2014 - 16:40:25 »

Offline Wycliffes_Shillelagh

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #1 on: Fri Oct 24, 2014 - 11:57:30 »

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #1 on: Fri Oct 24, 2014 - 11:57:30 »

Offline chapmic

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #2 on: Fri Oct 24, 2014 - 12:23:22 »
I know it's hard but keep trying man, You never know what tomorrow holds. Do not fear rejection, it may hurt at the time but it when you find her you will know that it was well worth it. Whenever you approach a girl, speak with confidence. It doesn't matter if you are completely wrong or don't know much about the topic, just speak with confidence and a girl will be interested. I will be praying for you, Keep your head up!  I know what you are feeling.

Offline Cally

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #3 on: Thu Nov 20, 2014 - 23:50:11 »
dothackzero you sound a lot like me--a major introvert! :D

I'm more worried for you that you'll get TOO MANY women interested in you once you graduate with a computer science degree, because you'll most likely be one of the small portion of men our age capable of building a family-sustaining career. O_O

Several CS friends of mine--one single man with a good job, graduated from my school, and a married man in the program with me--said that if you're looking for a wife, do it before you graduate to avoid the gold-digging type!

I have another dear friend who really wanted a girlfriend/wife but could never find one. I hurt for the guy. He got really depressed about it until really recently, feeling kind of settled in his mind (great Christian man).

I understand that a lot people really want to get married. But in the meantime, I pray you can be securely settled in your mind of your value in Christ. Focus on building your confidence, getting settled on YOUR path. I believe the most attractive thing to a woman is a "man on a mission," a guy driven and passionate toward his goals--Eve was Adam's "suitable helper'! So seeing that passion is attractive to a Godly woman! That kind of manner in a man really magnetizes women--for friends or girlfriends--for great reasons.

There's so much to enjoy as a single man though. Please keep your eye on Christ. ;)

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #3 on: Thu Nov 20, 2014 - 23:50:11 »
Pinterest: GraceCentered.com

Offline Catholica

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #4 on: Fri Nov 21, 2014 - 08:46:50 »
If I was to give advice, with what I have learned over the years, is this: People should not date except for the reason of seeking marriage.

Are you ready to be married?  Are you prepared to support a family?  To manage the upkeep of a home and a yard?  Ready to get up at all hours for your children, to support your wife when she needs extra help, to lay down your life for your wife?

When you describe yourself to me, honestly it seems that you are not, that you have a lot of hobbies that you enjoy, but which are not going to be that attractive to women.  A man who plays a lot of video games and looks at anime and playing card games like "Magic" are not going to attract women. 

If you want to find a woman you should take my words seriously.  Stop making your life about entertainment and start living a manly life.  Work on saving up for a home.  Learn about and practice home maintenance.  Show that you are willing to sacrifice for others by doing things for others like volunteering to help your elderly neighbors, or the homeless, or the hungry at a food shelf.  These things will help you develop a mission in life and add purpose to your life and be good for your soul at the same time.  And they will make you VERY attractive to women AND VERY interesting to talk to.

The definition of insanity is keeping doing what you are doing and expecting a different result.  Give this a try and you will find someone, God willing.

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #4 on: Fri Nov 21, 2014 - 08:46:50 »



Offline p.progress

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #5 on: Fri Nov 21, 2014 - 16:39:15 »
Listen to Catholica's advice. No doubt self-confidence, an engaging personality and the ability to both carry on a serious conversation with a woman, and yet also be able to make her laugh, are several positive attributes which most women - if not all of them are attracted to - at least the kind of woman you ought to be interested in pursuing a relationship with.

Go do things - something that does not entail being wrapped up into yourself and into 'games' or sci-fic /fantasy movies or TV shows. Self-confidence is something that some may have in spades due to their natural ease of communicating and achieving success in various areas (say athletic prowness). For others, it takes work, sweat, labor to earn the confidence that comes from such effort. You have to stretch yourself. Face any fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being recognized as a 'geek', 'dork, etc.

You may not like this advice. BUT IT IS sound advice.




 

Offline Cally

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #6 on: Fri Nov 21, 2014 - 17:00:32 »
With respect, some of the sentiments above sound a little silly to me. Nerdy guys get girls too, with their nerdy indoors-y hobbies and all.

And seriously, the guy is a computer science student. The "save up for a home" comment is ridiculous, because that degree is pretty much the best future investment for long-term career you can get. And he plays video games as a hobby? Welcome to computer science culture!!! And believe me, CS people know what work is. I can't believe the ignorance of the comment "stop making your life about entertainment" when you're talking about a CS student--I know lots of them, playing those horrible video games for fun, enjoying programming, having the easiest time finding high-paying careers as pretty much anyone I've ever seen especially in today's unemployment apocalypse for the youth.

A manly confidence means not putting up with things that get in the way of your goal--driven with a passion. Make sure that goal is Christ.

Offline Cally

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #7 on: Fri Nov 21, 2014 - 17:17:31 »
PS . . . okay, I'm a little reluctant to say this, but just because I'm loving dothackzero like crazy here, I have a thing or two in common, such as:

*I'm close to the same age (30)
*I'm EXTREMELY introverted
*I'm a computer science student (coming close to finishing a Master's degree)
*I'm a Japanophile and like videogames.

I have women friends. For how seldom I even interact with women, what with the CS program being almost entirely male, they're super friendly to me at a really high rate, and I've started to learn that they (sometimes) can get stuck to me like crazy-glue. An FB chat with a woman who meets me can end up lasting HOURS if I let it, they like to see me and hear from me, find out about me and wonder what I'm up to--kind of like sisters.

That might sound condescending to them but I don't mean it to be. I love them! And, they're super kind and nice and a blessing, usually. Beyond that, other interactions with women that I've had (suffice it to say)--however arrogant this may sound to some--lead me to believe that I would not have a hard time getting a date if I actually tried.

I really think the "man on a mission" is the way to carry yourself, and that includes not diverting to chase women. A man is very very interesting to a woman when he has "stuff going on," dreams, career moves, passions, and they can even respect your hobbies. Enjoy your masculinity. I like to lift weights and other exercise, and a benefit is that it raises testosterone--you know, your male hormone--chemically, cut and dry, plain and simple. And a manly manner, with gentleness, is really attractive.

If you're 26, I think women in that age range are starting to think seriously about finding a husband, so that's a good place to be. But put Christ first!
« Last Edit: Fri Nov 21, 2014 - 17:34:49 by Cally »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #8 on: Fri Nov 21, 2014 - 21:04:18 »
The son of a friend of mine, age 27, complains about not having a girlfriend, and he has never had a serious girlfriend. He has a degree in Computing and Maths, and his full time job is in computers,  and so he doesnt mix with many women in his work. He rarely socialises apart from occasionally with people from work, he wont to  go to church even though he made a commitment to God some years back and was baptised. He could easily afford to move away from home but doesnt, and his mum does all his cooking, washing and ironing. He refuses to go onto any on line dating sites, and apart from work mostly sits at home on his computer. His dad says to him, 'you arent going to met a girl sitting up in your room on the computer', and he is so right.

If I were a young available lady in her mid to late 20's today, I personally wouldnt be too interested in a guy in his late 20's who spent nearly all his time on computer games or similar. I would  like to see a man who was working, who was completely independent from his parents, paying his bills, looking after himself, involved in things outside the home, going to church and being involved there, and mixing with people in real life to build up his confidence and people skills.

Trouble is, I have noticed that people today who are more introvert and/or lacking in social skills, tend to hide away and sit behind their computers, and this is the worst thing they can do, because they never learn to interact or build those relationships with men and women to enable themselves to be emotionally ready to have any sort of healthy equal relationship, let alone marriage, with the opposite sex. I think this is an enormous problem today with this generation. I see many young adults in this cycle.  It takes their own efforts to overcome it, forcing themselves to get out there, off their games, leave home, go out more, get involved with things, meet people etc. I have seen young people do that and its amazing how they have changed and matured after just 2 or 3 years of being independent and living in the real world. The more they mix and interact, the more they learn to relate and grow in confidence with other people in society. Sorry but there is just no way round this, its a decision to do it, and its not always easy, but its vital.

In Japan this is an enormous problem, with a whole generation of young men obsessed to a greater or lesser  extent with their computers and gaming and similar, still acting like teenagers/students well into their late 20's and even beyond, and not relating to women. Apparently the number of marriages there has fallen dramatically because of this and because of that the birthrate as well. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24614830
« Last Edit: Sat Nov 22, 2014 - 03:11:01 by chosenone »

Offline dothackzero

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #9 on: Sun Jan 04, 2015 - 20:04:42 »
Still nothing happening. >_<

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #10 on: Sun Jan 04, 2015 - 22:14:30 »
Did you listen to the advise that we already gave above?

Offline Mr_Handsome

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #11 on: Fri Apr 24, 2015 - 13:55:36 »
The son of a friend of mine, age 27, complains about not having a girlfriend, and he has never had a serious girlfriend. He has a degree in Computing and Maths, and his full time job is in computers,  and so he doesnt mix with many women in his work. He rarely socialises apart from occasionally with people from work, he wont to  go to church even though he made a commitment to God some years back and was baptised. He could easily afford to move away from home but doesnt, and his mum does all his cooking, washing and ironing. He refuses to go onto any on line dating sites, and apart from work mostly sits at home on his computer. His dad says to him, 'you arent going to met a girl sitting up in your room on the computer', and he is so right.

If I were a young available lady in her mid to late 20's today, I personally wouldnt be too interested in a guy in his late 20's who spent nearly all his time on computer games or similar. I would  like to see a man who was working, who was completely independent from his parents, paying his bills, looking after himself, involved in things outside the home, going to church and being involved there, and mixing with people in real life to build up his confidence and people skills.

Trouble is, I have noticed that people today who are more introvert and/or lacking in social skills, tend to hide away and sit behind their computers, and this is the worst thing they can do, because they never learn to interact or build those relationships with men and women to enable themselves to be emotionally ready to have any sort of healthy equal relationship, let alone marriage, with the opposite sex. I think this is an enormous problem today with this generation. I see many young adults in this cycle.  It takes their own efforts to overcome it, forcing themselves to get out there, off their games, leave home, go out more, get involved with things, meet people etc. I have seen young people do that and its amazing how they have changed and matured after just 2 or 3 years of being independent and living in the real world. The more they mix and interact, the more they learn to relate and grow in confidence with other people in society. Sorry but there is just no way round this, its a decision to do it, and its not always easy, but its vital.

In Japan this is an enormous problem, with a whole generation of young men obsessed to a greater or lesser  extent with their computers and gaming and similar, still acting like teenagers/students well into their late 20's and even beyond, and not relating to women. Apparently the number of marriages there has fallen dramatically because of this and because of that the birthrate as well. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24614830


Marriage has fallen due to feminism and selfish women.

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #12 on: Fri Apr 24, 2015 - 14:47:42 »
Just go out more, try new things, be willing to do adventures. Hard to meet people when you're mostly in doors, dude, I know.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #13 on: Fri Apr 24, 2015 - 15:18:53 »
The son of a friend of mine, age 27, complains about not having a girlfriend, and he has never had a serious girlfriend. He has a degree in Computing and Maths, and his full time job is in computers,  and so he doesnt mix with many women in his work. He rarely socialises apart from occasionally with people from work, he wont to  go to church even though he made a commitment to God some years back and was baptised. He could easily afford to move away from home but doesnt, and his mum does all his cooking, washing and ironing. He refuses to go onto any on line dating sites, and apart from work mostly sits at home on his computer. His dad says to him, 'you arent going to met a girl sitting up in your room on the computer', and he is so right.

If I were a young available lady in her mid to late 20's today, I personally wouldnt be too interested in a guy in his late 20's who spent nearly all his time on computer games or similar. I would  like to see a man who was working, who was completely independent from his parents, paying his bills, looking after himself, involved in things outside the home, going to church and being involved there, and mixing with people in real life to build up his confidence and people skills.

Trouble is, I have noticed that people today who are more introvert and/or lacking in social skills, tend to hide away and sit behind their computers, and this is the worst thing they can do, because they never learn to interact or build those relationships with men and women to enable themselves to be emotionally ready to have any sort of healthy equal relationship, let alone marriage, with the opposite sex. I think this is an enormous problem today with this generation. I see many young adults in this cycle.  It takes their own efforts to overcome it, forcing themselves to get out there, off their games, leave home, go out more, get involved with things, meet people etc. I have seen young people do that and its amazing how they have changed and matured after just 2 or 3 years of being independent and living in the real world. The more they mix and interact, the more they learn to relate and grow in confidence with other people in society. Sorry but there is just no way round this, its a decision to do it, and its not always easy, but its vital.

In Japan this is an enormous problem, with a whole generation of young men obsessed to a greater or lesser  extent with their computers and gaming and similar, still acting like teenagers/students well into their late 20's and even beyond, and not relating to women. Apparently the number of marriages there has fallen dramatically because of this and because of that the birthrate as well. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24614830


Marriage has fallen due to feminism and selfish women.


As I already said there are many reasons why fewer marry.  Having said that most people still do marry at some point.

Offline Chade

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #14 on: Wed Oct 14, 2015 - 22:15:08 »
Christian Men will be single as long as Christian Women are not willing t give up the same superficiality they complain of Men mantaining.

Offline AVZ

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #15 on: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 02:44:04 »
Christian Men will be single as long as Christian Women are not willing t give up the same superficiality they complain of Men mantaining.

But then again which 26 year old lady is really interested in a 26 year old video game playing, cartoon watching, magic playing boyfriend?
Religion aside, if my daughter would come home with a grown up boyfriend who spends his time this way and on top of that keeps himself busy with sci-fi science, string theory and parallel universes...I think I will scratch my head a few times.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #16 on: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 03:06:53 »
Christian Men will be single as long as Christian Women are not willing t give up the same superficiality they complain of Men mantaining.


 There are loads of godly single ladies around.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #17 on: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 03:12:58 »
Christian Men will be single as long as Christian Women are not willing t give up the same superficiality they complain of Men mantaining.

But then again which 26 year old lady is really interested in a 26 year old video game playing, cartoon watching, magic playing boyfriend?
Religion aside, if my daughter would come home with a grown up boyfriend who spends his time this way and on top of that keeps himself busy with sci-fi science, string theory and parallel universes...I think I will scratch my head a few times.


 yes I so agree, and so many men well into adulthood are still like this, and still at home in their late 20's and 30's not seemingly wanting to be independant from mummy and daddy at all. I know several like this just among the people I know. What girl is interested in a guy of 30 and older who is still living at home like a child, getting all his meals cooked for him, his ironing done and being looked after as if he was 10 years old. Not many. Especially if they have been independent for many years at that age themselves. They wants someone who will look after them, not a man who cant even look after himself.  ::frown::

 

Offline Cally

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #18 on: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 09:46:09 »
Quote
But then again which 26 year old lady is really interested in a 26 year old video game playing, cartoon watching, magic playing boyfriend?
Religion aside, if my daughter would come home with a grown up boyfriend who spends his time this way and on top of that keeps himself busy with sci-fi science, string theory and parallel universes...I think I will scratch my head a few times.

I know a man who works in the Salvation army who recently had a much younger woman take interest in him. He makes very little money, and she was trying to coax him into leaving that position and pursuing a high-paying career--earlier in his life, he had a very upper-middle-class income. He's a REALLY good, godly man who now believes in serving the Lord in what he does, but the woman would not settle for him doing what he does for a minimal income. He had an awesome response: that he would not allow his value to be held hostage by his bank account. So yeah, that woman will be single for good while longer, and she's almost 30!

Proverbs 6:26--For by way of the prostitute a man is brought to a loaf of bread.

I also recently saw this comment from a different single man that I thought was so amazing that I saved it:

Quote
Thank you, thank you, thank you! So many Christian women have based my worth on what career I have and on how much money I have. I hear so many Christian women saying "I'm looking for my Boaz," which is really just a nice Christian way of saying "I want to marry a man for his money." And they claim that there are no available men in the church today. For years, I have pleaded with God for a good career opportunity so that I can be worth something to a woman. But I've realized that my worth is in Christ, not in a career. Christian women may shun me because I don't fit their idea of "God's best," but I know I am worth a lot to Jesus. And the way I see it, if a woman doesn't want to be there with me during my failures and struggles, then she doesn't deserve to be there with me during my success.

Praise GOD that more and more men are figuring out how to shut this door through which Satan tries to rob them of knowledge of their worth in Christ!!!! Wow!

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #19 on: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 09:58:52 »
Quote
But then again which 26 year old lady is really interested in a 26 year old video game playing, cartoon watching, magic playing boyfriend?
Religion aside, if my daughter would come home with a grown up boyfriend who spends his time this way and on top of that keeps himself busy with sci-fi science, string theory and parallel universes...I think I will scratch my head a few times.

I know a man who works in the Salvation army who recently had a much younger woman take interest in him. He makes very little money, and she was trying to coax him into leaving that position and pursuing a high-paying career--earlier in his life, he had a very upper-middle-class income. He's a REALLY good, godly man who now believes in serving the Lord in what he does, but the woman would not settle for him doing what he does for a minimal income. He had an awesome response: that he would not allow his value to be held hostage by his bank account. So yeah, that woman will be single for good while longer, and she's almost 30!

Proverbs 6:26--For by way of the prostitute a man is brought to a loaf of bread.

I also recently saw this comment from a different single man that I thought was so amazing that I saved it:

Quote
Thank you, thank you, thank you! So many Christian women have based my worth on what career I have and on how much money I have. I hear so many Christian women saying "I'm looking for my Boaz," which is really just a nice Christian way of saying "I want to marry a man for his money." And they claim that there are no available men in the church today. For years, I have pleaded with God for a good career opportunity so that I can be worth something to a woman. But I've realized that my worth is in Christ, not in a career. Christian women may shun me because I don't fit their idea of "God's best," but I know I am worth a lot to Jesus. And the way I see it, if a woman doesn't want to be there with me during my failures and struggles, then she doesn't deserve to be there with me during my success.

Praise GOD that more and more men are figuring out how to shut this door through which Satan tries to rob them of knowledge of their worth in Christ!!!! Wow!


 if anyone wants to marry someone with a strong career and high earnings(yes and some men want that in their partners as well), then they need to look for that sort of person.
 In my experience though not many godly people would let that put them off a potential partner. 

Offline AVZ

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #20 on: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 10:30:04 »
Quote
But then again which 26 year old lady is really interested in a 26 year old video game playing, cartoon watching, magic playing boyfriend?
Religion aside, if my daughter would come home with a grown up boyfriend who spends his time this way and on top of that keeps himself busy with sci-fi science, string theory and parallel universes...I think I will scratch my head a few times.

I know a man who works in the Salvation army who recently had a much younger woman take interest in him. He makes very little money, and she was trying to coax him into leaving that position and pursuing a high-paying career--earlier in his life, he had a very upper-middle-class income. He's a REALLY good, godly man who now believes in serving the Lord in what he does, but the woman would not settle for him doing what he does for a minimal income. He had an awesome response: that he would not allow his value to be held hostage by his bank account. So yeah, that woman will be single for good while longer, and she's almost 30!

Proverbs 6:26--For by way of the prostitute a man is brought to a loaf of bread.

I also recently saw this comment from a different single man that I thought was so amazing that I saved it:

Quote
Thank you, thank you, thank you! So many Christian women have based my worth on what career I have and on how much money I have. I hear so many Christian women saying "I'm looking for my Boaz," which is really just a nice Christian way of saying "I want to marry a man for his money." And they claim that there are no available men in the church today. For years, I have pleaded with God for a good career opportunity so that I can be worth something to a woman. But I've realized that my worth is in Christ, not in a career. Christian women may shun me because I don't fit their idea of "God's best," but I know I am worth a lot to Jesus. And the way I see it, if a woman doesn't want to be there with me during my failures and struggles, then she doesn't deserve to be there with me during my success.

Praise GOD that more and more men are figuring out how to shut this door through which Satan tries to rob them of knowledge of their worth in Christ!!!! Wow!

Hey Cally, we are not talking about salary or career here.

If my daughter would come home with a young man who spends his time in service of the Lord and making little to no money with that, I likely would be pleased.
We are not talking about that in this scenario. The young man here fills his time with video games, cartoons and online magic gaming.

Both the men above may not look forward to shiny careers...but I know which of the two I would rather have pursuing my daughter. Guess which one.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #21 on: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 11:04:32 »
Quote
But then again which 26 year old lady is really interested in a 26 year old video game playing, cartoon watching, magic playing boyfriend?
Religion aside, if my daughter would come home with a grown up boyfriend who spends his time this way and on top of that keeps himself busy with sci-fi science, string theory and parallel universes...I think I will scratch my head a few times.

I know a man who works in the Salvation army who recently had a much younger woman take interest in him. He makes very little money, and she was trying to coax him into leaving that position and pursuing a high-paying career--earlier in his life, he had a very upper-middle-class income. He's a REALLY good, godly man who now believes in serving the Lord in what he does, but the woman would not settle for him doing what he does for a minimal income. He had an awesome response: that he would not allow his value to be held hostage by his bank account. So yeah, that woman will be single for good while longer, and she's almost 30!

Proverbs 6:26--For by way of the prostitute a man is brought to a loaf of bread.

I also recently saw this comment from a different single man that I thought was so amazing that I saved it:

Quote
Thank you, thank you, thank you! So many Christian women have based my worth on what career I have and on how much money I have. I hear so many Christian women saying "I'm looking for my Boaz," which is really just a nice Christian way of saying "I want to marry a man for his money." And they claim that there are no available men in the church today. For years, I have pleaded with God for a good career opportunity so that I can be worth something to a woman. But I've realized that my worth is in Christ, not in a career. Christian women may shun me because I don't fit their idea of "God's best," but I know I am worth a lot to Jesus. And the way I see it, if a woman doesn't want to be there with me during my failures and struggles, then she doesn't deserve to be there with me during my success.

Praise GOD that more and more men are figuring out how to shut this door through which Satan tries to rob them of knowledge of their worth in Christ!!!! Wow!

Hey Cally, we are not talking about salary or career here.

If my daughter would come home with a young man who spends his time in service of the Lord and making little to no money with that, I likely would be pleased.
We are not talking about that in this scenario. The young man here fills his time with video games, cartoons and online magic gaming.

Both the men above may not look forward to shiny careers...but I know which of the two I would rather have pursuing my daughter. Guess which one.
 

I agree, none of my three children are interested in riches, luxuries or worldy stuff, nor am I or my husband.
A person who is following God wherever that may be is far better.

Offline Cally

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #22 on: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 11:30:54 »
Quote
Hey Cally, we are not talking about salary or career here.

If my daughter would come home with a young man who spends his time in service of the Lord and making little to no money with that, I likely would be pleased.
We are not talking about that in this scenario. The young man here fills his time with video games, cartoons and online magic gaming.

It sounds like he spends a LOT of time working and pursuing a career in programming to me, as well, in the case of dothackzero.

I am seeing many men finding out what I was demonstrating in the examples I gave, reinforcing the comment that you responded to (to some extent, at least).

PS, I appreciate your other comment, however.
« Last Edit: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 11:47:17 by Cally »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #23 on: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 13:16:14 »
Quote
Hey Cally, we are not talking about salary or career here.

If my daughter would come home with a young man who spends his time in service of the Lord and making little to no money with that, I likely would be pleased.
We are not talking about that in this scenario. The young man here fills his time with video games, cartoons and online magic gaming.

It sounds like he spends a LOT of time working and pursuing a career in programming to me, as well, in the case of dothackzero.

I am seeing many men finding out what I was demonstrating in the examples I gave, reinforcing the comment that you responded to (to some extent, at least).

PS, I appreciate your other comment, however.
 

So someone who spends a lot of time playing computer games, and on line magic gaming and watching cartoons on line is persuing a career in programming??? Thats one excuse for it I guess. ::shrug:: AS I see it they are simply playing games.
 
Men of that sort of age when I was a young adult were far too busy working full time, paying for a home and all the bills and supporting a wife and children. Now its seems that they stay at home and act like continual teenagers well into their late 20's and even 30's.Its a weird change in one generation that doesnt sit well with me. 

 Having said that, I know of 2 couples in Texas aged 16 who have recently married and moved out of their family home. One extreme to the other.   ::shrug::
« Last Edit: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 13:20:23 by chosenone »

Offline Cally

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #24 on: Thu Oct 15, 2015 - 19:06:33 »
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So someone who spends a lot of time playing computer games, and on line magic gaming and watching cartoons on line is persuing a career in programming??? Thats one excuse for it I guess.

Excuse for what? Dothackzero has mentioned working full-time and going to school for programming--which, by the way, is one of the last decent career path opportunities available to younger people right now.

I see no reason or excuse for disrespecting the man other than your sin.

Offline Jason_NC

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #25 on: Thu Nov 26, 2015 - 10:24:06 »
If I was to give advice, with what I have learned over the years, is this: People should not date except for the reason of seeking marriage.

Are you ready to be married?  Are you prepared to support a family?  To manage the upkeep of a home and a yard?  Ready to get up at all hours for your children, to support your wife when she needs extra help, to lay down your life for your wife?

When you describe yourself to me, honestly it seems that you are not, that you have a lot of hobbies that you enjoy, but which are not going to be that attractive to women.  A man who plays a lot of video games and looks at anime and playing card games like "Magic" are not going to attract women. 

If you want to find a woman you should take my words seriously.  Stop making your life about entertainment and start living a manly life.  Work on saving up for a home.  Learn about and practice home maintenance.  Show that you are willing to sacrifice for others by doing things for others like volunteering to help your elderly neighbors, or the homeless, or the hungry at a food shelf.  These things will help you develop a mission in life and add purpose to your life and be good for your soul at the same time.  And they will make you VERY attractive to women AND VERY interesting to talk to.

The definition of insanity is keeping doing what you are doing and expecting a different result.  Give this a try and you will find someone, God willing.

This is excellent advice.  But you don't have to completely give up the hobbies you enjoy.  Just start doing more of this.

Offline BeYouSelf

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #26 on: Mon Dec 28, 2015 - 22:50:35 »
dothackzero, Think of it as your being saved n protected for the right woman.
I'm pretty sure there are very few people who are really single forever!
You cant hurry love, u'll just have to wait, theres someone for everyone.
Love has a way of seeking up on you when u least expect it.
Work on yourself 1st, love and family will come in time. O! and pray about it!
Peace and Love bro!

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #27 on: Tue Dec 29, 2015 - 03:46:16 »
Quote
So someone who spends a lot of time playing computer games, and on line magic gaming and watching cartoons on line is persuing a career in programming??? Thats one excuse for it I guess.

Excuse for what? Dothackzero has mentioned working full-time and going to school for programming--which, by the way, is one of the last decent career path opportunities available to younger people right now.

I see no reason or excuse for disrespecting the man other than your sin.

where did he says that he works? He merely said that he is 26 and still goes to school(college).


Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #28 on: Tue Dec 29, 2015 - 04:20:45 »
dothackzero, Think of it as your being saved n protected for the right woman.
I'm pretty sure there are very few people who are really single forever!
You cant hurry love, u'll just have to wait, theres someone for everyone.
Love has a way of seeking up on you when u least expect it.
Work on yourself 1st, love and family will come in time. O! and pray about it!
Peace and Love bro!

There are far more women in the church who remain single because there are so few available men.

Offline alwaysme

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #29 on: Sun Nov 13, 2016 - 10:25:08 »
There are just too many immature guys even Christians. Plus,  they are looking for a trophy not a wife. So go search in a haystack in the dark room forever. Lol ????

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #30 on: Sun Nov 13, 2016 - 15:25:00 »
There are just too many immature guys even Christians. Plus,  they are looking for a trophy not a wife. So go search in a haystack in the dark room forever. Lol ????
 

There are good and bad in both sexes.

Offline David81

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #31 on: Wed Dec 14, 2016 - 14:10:23 »
People think being single is the worst thing. It's not. Being married to a bad spouse is the worst. Consider yourself blessed! Look on the bright side. Improve. The women will come. 

Offline alwaysme

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #32 on: Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 15:12:23 »
Quote
But then again which 26 year old lady is really interested in a 26 year old video game playing, cartoon watching, magic playing boyfriend?
Religion aside, if my daughter would come home with a grown up boyfriend who spends his time this way and on top of that keeps himself busy with sci-fi science, string theory and parallel universes...I think I will scratch my head a few times.

I know a man who works in the Salvation army who recently had a much younger woman take interest in him. He makes very little money, and she was trying to coax him into leaving that position and pursuing a high-paying career--earlier in his life, he had a very upper-middle-class income. He's a REALLY good, godly man who now believes in serving the Lord in what he does, but the woman would not settle for him doing what he does for a minimal income. He had an awesome response: that he would not allow his value to be held hostage by his bank account. So yeah, that woman will be single for good while longer, and she's almost 30!

Proverbs 6:26--For by way of the prostitute a man is brought to a loaf of bread.

I also recently saw this comment from a different single man that I thought was so amazing that I saved it:

Quote
Thank you, thank you, thank you! So many Christian women have based my worth on what career I have and on how much money I have. I hear so many Christian women saying "I'm looking for my Boaz," which is really just a nice Christian way of saying "I want to marry a man for his money." And they claim that there are no available men in the church today. For years, I have pleaded with God for a good career opportunity so that I can be worth something to a woman. But I've realized that my worth is in Christ, not in a career. Christian women may shun me because I don't fit their idea of "God's best," but I know I am worth a lot to Jesus. And the way I see it, if a woman doesn't want to be there with me during my failures and struggles, then she doesn't deserve to be there with me during my success.

Praise GOD that more and more men are figuring out how to shut this door through which Satan tries to rob them of knowledge of their worth in Christ!!!! Wow!

But let's be practical. Money is essential in raising a family. I always believe you can be in a ministry and work at the same time. In fact, you're helping much on that coz you provide for the church thru your givings.

Offline alwaysme

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #33 on: Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 15:20:53 »
dothackzero, Think of it as your being saved n protected for the right woman.
I'm pretty sure there are very few people who are really single forever!
You cant hurry love, u'll just have to wait, theres someone for everyone.
Love has a way of seeking up on you when u least expect it.
Work on yourself 1st, love and family will come in time. O! and pray about it!
Peace and Love bro!

Lol this is very ideal. I think you are not exposed to people who are alone for the rest of their lives. I think you don't understand that "Valley".
There's someone for everyone?!?!?!?!?!?!  Please look further around. In every corner you will see peopl alone or single.

People hastily those lines carelessly giving false hopes to people. Reality is not everyone is bound to get married. Not all who prays, work on itself or whatever finds love and have a family. That's a very wrong notion in my honest opinion. I believe it's time we open our eyes to the reality that marriage is not for all whether you ask God or not. Not all prayers are provided/answered. Remember there is no on those answers.

Offline Rella

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Re: Will I be single forever?
« Reply #34 on: Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 19:38:25 »
dothackzero, Think of it as your being saved n protected for the right woman.
I'm pretty sure there are very few people who are really single forever!
You cant hurry love, u'll just have to wait, theres someone for everyone.
Love has a way of seeking up on you when u least expect it.
Work on yourself 1st, love and family will come in time. O! and pray about it!
Peace and Love bro!

Lol this is very ideal. I think you are not exposed to people who are alone for the rest of their lives. I think you don't understand that "Valley".
There's someone for everyone?!?!?!?!?!?!  Please look further around. In every corner you will see peopl alone or single.

People hastily those lines carelessly giving false hopes to people. Reality is not everyone is bound to get married. Not all who prays, work on itself or whatever finds love and have a family. That's a very wrong notion in my honest opinion. I believe it's time we open our eyes to the reality that marriage is not for all whether you ask God or not. Not all prayers are provided/answered. Remember there is no on those answers.

A very true answer as I have never been blessed to have found a spouse.

Been looking and praying for around 50 years now.

It is not going to happen for me... and it won't for a lot of others.

I am resigned to the fact... I have been since I was in my 40s.