One day this girl comes up to me and says hi at work on my lunch break, we seem to connect like instantly. We were like almost inseparable, she would even go out of her way to come up to my desk, we would go on walks on our breaks, we would spend every single break together. We seemed inseparable, well due to downsizing I lost my job. So then we would spend on google chats all day long, she lived about an half an hour away from me.
We were at one time sharing an Amazon account together, (I know this was dumb to do, but I thought things would end differently at the time I did this). She even mentioned coming over for dinner. I have even asked this girl out several times to go out and we would talk about things we were going to do. (For the purpose of this forum, I am just trying to give a brief overview of all events.)We even go to the same church, which I didn't know until I told her where I went.
Then one day I asked flat out told her that I liked her, that's when she told me she was into girls. (Please do not make this about what is right and wrong about girls dating girls or vice versa, this is not what I am asking about, I do have strong opinions about it, but this is not the post to talk about this.) The problem is she had boyfriends in her past. Her last relationship was with a girl, but she told me that she cheated on her 4 times with both sexes. She told me how her gf was beating her and abusing and etc, and we really opened up ourselves to one another. After she told me that she was only into girls and didn't want to date me, I was really hurt and she knew that she really hurt me too, she never told me upfront that she wasn't into me, or that she was into really women. When I told her that I needed some space and we didn't talk for days, (it felt like an eternity) she texts me and starts apologizing like crazy and telling me how sorry she was. So then I decided to go old school and write a letter to her, she was so excited about getting my letter. In that letter I told her about how she was comparing me to her old bf and how she hardly ever talked about her gf, that's when she told me that she couldn't ever go back to dating guys, because she got butterflies and her old gf still had a piece of her heart.
Also in that letter I told her that I had feelings for her. She basically ignored this part of the letter and wanted to go back to exactly how things were, I felt very perplexed by this, and I really didn't like that we never talked about it, whether good or bad. She just tried to minimized everything saying that all the texting and chatting that we were doing for hours on end, and even well into the night was all normal for friends. I told her, I don't think it was normal at all, I told her that I didn't even talk to my friends back home this much. She just seemed to minimize everything and didn't really take into account my feelings, so I just went with it for about another month, but every time I tried to bring this up she just ignored me or got mad at me for bringing it up. I really didn't feel comfortable talking to her or spending that much time on a girl that wasn't going to be my gf. I tried to explain to her how it isn't normal.
Finally I told her that I had deep feelings for her and I didn't know how or what I should do with those feelings, I asked her about how she got involved into her relationship and how troubled it was, and about all the abuse, and I told her that when I was abused, I never wanted anything to do with my abuser and I was having a really difficult time understanding how she could be in love with someone like that. She got really mad and quit talking to me, and she told me that she didn't want to be friends with me, because I keep bringing it up that I had feelings for her. We never discussed it in the first place, she just basically closed me off ever time, I tried to get her to talk about it, I didn't care if she expressed those feelings back, or if she told me that she didn't think it could ever work, she just boldly just stopped talking about it, she didn't want to talk about it, and she got really mad when I would want to talk about it.
I really believe that she has some mental instability, after spending several long days of chatting with her and trying to discuss my feelings with her. It definitely hurts that she doesn't reciprocate those feelings, but I don't understand how someone can not see that coming, especially the amount of times I asked her out and we were planning on doing stuff, and the amount of time we spent together and the amount of time we spent well into the night talking. After all of this I am really starting to believe that she has some sort of mental problems or anxiety issues or something that is beyond me.
Oh I forgot that I told her that we could be friends but that we needed to set some boundaries and she was not having any of that, I said we can't be talking all day long or acting like were bf and gf (when we were texting she would get really mad if I didn't respond to her texts right away), I said we have to stop this, and now she just said no, and she said I'm done. Its like she won't and don't want to talk about this at all, I don't want someone taking up my time with no real relationship goals in sight. I'm so confused and mad at the same time. I just don't know what to do. Does anyone have something close to what I have been through or is this girl really deranged, or what is going on. Opinions please, thank you!