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Author Topic: Will i ever find a husband?  (Read 3951 times)

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Offline ARose91

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Will i ever find a husband?
« on: June 25, 2011, 01:53:38 PM »
I'm 20 years old, and I have wanted to be a wife and mother for years. I've been praying to God to help me find a Christian husband, who I can grow old with, have a family with and to take care of each other. I know deep in my heart, that God wants me to be a foster parent and possibly adopt.

I always thought I'd be married with a child by the time I'm 22, but I'm not sure if that's what God has planned. My heart aches everyday because i so badly want to be a wife and mother. I adore children, and it makes me sad and angry  that it may never happen ::frown::

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Will i ever find a husband?
« on: June 25, 2011, 01:53:38 PM »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2011, 02:30:06 PM »
A rose91. Please dont start worrying yet, you are SO young, barely an adult. My son didnt meet his wife till he was 30, My daughter didnt meet her fiance till she was 30 either. 20 is nothing, and personally I think its far too young to marry anyway.
 Just enjoy your life, do different things, get involved with other Christian young people, travel,  do whatever you want to do while you have that chance and you will meet the right guy at the right time. Dont wish your life away.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

It is by Grace we have been saved though Faith and not by works so that no one can boast.

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2011, 02:30:06 PM »

Offline Mr. J

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2011, 03:19:22 PM »
I know deep in my heart, that God wants me to be a foster parent and possibly adopt.


20 is barely old enough to think about marriage.  Don't worry about your age, worry about what it is you are offering and where you are looking.  You've got time.

However!!!  If you want to be certain that you chase as many decent men away as possible, keep up your "personal prophecy" about forcing him to raise other people's problem children without even bothering to see if he has such an interest.  Do you honestly think God tells women to force their future husbands to raise other peoples' children?  Isn't it the Christian way that the husband is the head of the house and maybe he has something to say about it?

Be sensible, not presumptive.  You've plenty of time, don't fret.
When I figured out the source of my problems was the guy in the mirror, I became able to make real progress.

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2011, 03:28:07 PM »
The only thing I got.....you better not wish for something or you might get it, lol.

I hope ARose91 makes a copy and saves her post till she is 40-50 years old.  Things sure do change when we get older, we see life and ppl in a whole new light.

ARose, how about getting a job at a child care center if you have that much love for kids?  My niece did.  God sent here a wonderful man in her mid 20's (she didn't have to go looking) and he came with a little boy, and now she has had 2 boys ~ she did say she wanted more, but at 28 w/ 3 boys she is exhausted and she says she is done giving birth.

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2011, 03:28:07 PM »
Pinterest: GraceCentered.com

Offline IamStefanie

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2011, 06:07:17 PM »
Hi ARose,
 I agree with everyone else. 20 is young. Although we don't grow younger, and may feel we don't have 'time left', I'm 27, 2 weeks away from being 28 and a LOT changed for me between those 8 years.

Now, at 20 I wasn't thinking about marriage; however, I had other desires that's would not have made since if I still felt that way now.

I'm not saying marriage is a bad desire to have. I would like to marry too. But, you have to be realistic. First off, if you thought you'd be married by 22, don't you have 2, almost 3 years left before that happens? Anyone can cross your path during that time. Also, everyone REALLY doesn't get married at the 'ideal' time. There are plenty of people that marry after the age of 25, 35, 45 and beyond. I love to use the example of an older couple at my church that have been married for may 2 years now. I don't know their exact ages but I know he has to be at least 60 and her in her late 50s early 60s. And they are both very healthy and happy.

Now, not saying you will have to wait until 60, but the point of that above story was just to enlighten you on the fact that marriage does not have to happy at a certain age for your life to be fulfilling. I encourage you not to still see marriage, but to enjoy your life NOW  and AFTER you are a wife. But until you are a wife, don't classify your self as that, please. You are a child of God first. The other roles will come for you as you are given those.

I hope you will see this post and the others before it as love to you so that you will be free of worry!

In Jesus name...

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2011, 06:07:17 PM »



ObeyTheGospel

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2011, 03:28:08 PM »
I know a Christian couple who married at 18 and they have been together for 10 or 11 now and are still very happy. Life is short. Why would you want to wait until you're older if you can meet the right person at a younger age? What right do people have to say that 20 is too young? Let people decide for themselves.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2011, 04:01:36 PM »
However statistics do say that teenage marriages are ar more likely to fail than those between older people. I have never yet met a teenager who is ready for marriage.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

It is by Grace we have been saved though Faith and not by works so that no one can boast.

Offline Carwhisperer

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2011, 10:36:11 PM »
I see both sides. My ex wife was 19 when I met her and we married when she was 21. I was 29. She never had a mid life crisis or anything like that. I sincerely hope she had found someone better than me. I agree that 20 is really young. Are you going to college? I think that bettering yourself will always make you more attractive and you will have opportunities to meet guys there too. Especially if you attend a Christian college or Chrisian college groups like Intervarsity Christian fellowship or Campus Crusade for Christ. Also have you tried ChristianMingle.com? Unfortunately there are probably more women than men on there but I think it is a well run site. Would you describe yourself as physically attractive? Obviously it helps to present yourself well. On the other hand you don't want to attract a guy who is only interested in looks.

Offline IamStefanie

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #8 on: December 25, 2011, 10:27:59 AM »
I know a Christian couple who married at 18 and they have been together for 10 or 11 now and are still very happy. Life is short. Why would you want to wait until you're older if you can meet the right person at a younger age? What right do people have to say that 20 is too young? Let people decide for themselves.
I agree with you that if someone marries at 18, then that too is okay. I met my first real boyfriend at 16, and if I wanted to settle down, then I would have been married for 12 years by now. And 20 IS young; it's not too young for anything, but there are people who don't ask this question until 30, 40, or even 50 years old! But ate the age of 20 she is worried she will not marry. C'mon! For most people, they are just seeing the real world at that age! And I don't think anyone has to 'wait.' But I think no one should walk around depressed if they have not met someone at the time they felt was best. My point is to live life and keep praying and it'll come at the right time.

Offline IamStefanie

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2011, 10:29:37 AM »
ARose: I hope that I did not come across in my posts as rude. I understand how you feel. Like I said in my first post, you don't know what God has planned, and I strongly suggest that you not worry you won't have your desires fulfilled. You trust God, so stand on that. In the meantime, keep living, keep your body healthy. God bless you with your family...

Offline SoldierSalvationArmy

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2011, 01:18:44 PM »
I remember thinking like this when I was 20. I felt incomplete because I didn't have a serious relationship going, and I was somewhat depressed about it. But in the years following I had some very bad experiences with the wrong people [unfortunately], and soon discovered that I was better off being single than being with the wrong person.

I think that it's easy to become impatient when things don't happen immediately, especially in matters of the heart. We sometimes convince ourselves that we're not "whole" if we don't have a relationship.

Yet, the advantages of being single for the early part of adulthood are actually quite powerful and useful. A single person can become a far stronger and more independent person, and consequently a far better potential mate that has more thoroughly discovered who you are and what you can do. God knows when the proper timing will come for you to be married, just as a gardener knows when a tomato isn't ready to be plucked from a vine until it's fully ripened.

Nobody likes to wait for these things- and God knows, I'm still waiting, myself. And I've waited much longer than you have. But, I'd rather wait and be with the right person than end up with sorrow and disappointment that can only bring me grief. And the grief of being with the wrong person is far worse than the pain of loneliness, let me tell you. ::smile::

Be patient, and grow as an individual and as a Christian. Be socially active. Help others. Develop hobbies. Live your life fully every day, and see that God has given you so many blessings already that you don't need to focus so intently on what you think you're missing. Open your heart and your eyes, and God will open up the skies of his blessings to you.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matt 6:33

Surround yourself with Christian friends and activities and your desires will be given to you at the proper time, and in the proper way that only your loving father in Heaven can supply.


Offline eaglemustfly

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Re: Will i ever find a husband?
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2012, 04:12:15 AM »
Someone who wants to have kids has chosen the best from God. But you need to think about your motivation. And whether now is the best time to have one. A kid also needs enough love, attention and emotional support from his parents. If you cannot supply them, do not have kids. A kid is ideally raised in an emotionally, spiritually and financially stable family.

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As Christians, everybody is watching us.

It is especially more important if you are singles.

But either you are a single or a married Christian, you should be a successful Christian in every aspect of your life.

No one is perfect, except God. But we have to keep moving forward, to be the best that God created us for.

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