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Author Topic: Should I report it ?  (Read 470 times)

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Offline KarlaGrace

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Should I report it ?
« on: Thu May 10, 2018 - 21:53:47 »
My 'separated' husband beat me badly last night and broke my wrist. I did not report it because I want to save this marriage, but I am very terrified of him now. Happened twice already....I am not sure if I should allow him to see his daughter again. 

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Should I report it ?
« on: Thu May 10, 2018 - 21:53:47 »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #1 on: Fri May 11, 2018 - 00:27:42 »
Good grief, of course you should report it. Go to the police and also get legal advise asap. Is there somewhere you can go for safety? A family member? Someone from your church?  A women's refuge? No she is not safe with him, you both need help. Get a restraining order. Do NOT let him into the house, change the locks.
There is no marriage worth saving. He is a violent abuser and isn't to be trusted. You must think of the child. Even if he never hits her, she will be greatly damaged seeing this awful abuse. Do you want her to think that its ok for a woman to be beaten up? One day he may kill you or turn on her and what then? 

Please act now. 
« Last Edit: Fri May 11, 2018 - 04:42:25 by chosenone »

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #1 on: Fri May 11, 2018 - 00:27:42 »

Offline grams

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #2 on: Fri May 11, 2018 - 08:40:29 »


Oh   Yes,  report this!!!!!!!!!!!

MAY  BE THEY WILL HELP  HIM !!!    HE NEEDS  { help}  VERY MUCH....


Offline MeMyself

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #3 on: Fri May 11, 2018 - 09:38:34 »
My 'separated' husband beat me badly last night and broke my wrist. I did not report it because I want to save this marriage, but I am very terrified of him now. Happened twice already....I am not sure if I should allow him to see his daughter again.

Report it.

Sometimes, we need to show our daughters that women have as much worth and value as our sons, fathers, brothers and husbands.

Also, sometimes people need to hit rock bottom, feel the consequences of their actions, before they realize they need to repent and call on God to change them.

You can't change your husband by being a punching bag...
Only God can change him...
I say, remove yourself from between them and let God have him without you there to distract him.
Ps. protect your daughter!  He has proven himself to be unsafe with you, who are fully grown...what might he do to someone small and immature?

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #3 on: Fri May 11, 2018 - 09:38:34 »
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Offline KarlaGrace

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #4 on: Sat May 12, 2018 - 01:16:08 »
No family members here, not even close friends. I am Russian. We met online and married him 2 weeks after I arrived in the US. I regret it now… I am extremely poor and dependent on him. He knows this. Modelling is all I knew for living but I gave up after becoming a Christian.

I go to a Greek orthodox church and spoke to a priest many times who knows what is happening, but he kept saying work on the marriage, forgive him, there are no biblical grounds for divorce. Divorce is a horrible sin…etc…

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #4 on: Sat May 12, 2018 - 01:16:08 »



Offline MeMyself

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #5 on: Sat May 12, 2018 - 10:04:46 »
No family members here, not even close friends. I am Russian. We met online and married him 2 weeks after I arrived in the US. I regret it now… I am extremely poor and dependent on him. He knows this. Modelling is all I knew for living but I gave up after becoming a Christian.

I go to a Greek orthodox church and spoke to a priest many times who knows what is happening, but he kept saying work on the marriage, forgive him, there are no biblical grounds for divorce. Divorce is a horrible sin…etc…

Divorce in this case is not the horrible sin..the fact that your husband, who has promised to love, honor and cherish you is beating you IS!  It infuriates me that you are being counseled this way.  You are not going to fix this, you can't.  You can only protect yourself and teach your daughter that women are valuable human beings and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. 

How old is the child?

Offline Ginger Rella

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #6 on: Sat May 12, 2018 - 10:27:54 »
No family members here, not even close friends. I am Russian. We met online and married him 2 weeks after I arrived in the US. I regret it now… I am extremely poor and dependent on him. He knows this. Modelling is all I knew for living but I gave up after becoming a Christian.

I go to a Greek orthodox church and spoke to a priest many times who knows what is happening, but he kept saying work on the marriage, forgive him, there are no biblical grounds for divorce. Divorce is a horrible sin…etc…

As others have said, you must report this.

Next you need to talk to the police to see about a PFA. That is protection from abuse.

Then start calling divorce lawyers and talk to them about fees. Someone likely will take your case without you necessarily shelling out a lot of money.
A proper divorced attorney will see to it you get child support money and also alimony in many cases.

It is not only you and your well being that you need to be concerned with it is also that of your child. No child should be raised in a home and have to witness these things or be abused themselves.

Your husband will not change... you would be living a life of slavery to abide by never doing or saying another things that would have him come at you again.
That is impossible...

God never intended anyone to have to live under threats.

You say you have no family here.  What about friends? I can assure you that a good friend can be worth many family members.

You are from Russia.  Do you have family back there? Could you move back there?


Offline grams

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #7 on: Sat May 12, 2018 - 18:31:49 »
And  may  be  try  a different  religion ?   Some are more  into  trying to help and be  a friend.
I know they all try to help ,  some will do it now  not tomorrow  or next week.

I pray you will find some one to help you to know were to go ..........  Blessing to you ! 

Offline chosenone

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #8 on: Sun May 13, 2018 - 14:03:34 »
Your priest is very wrong. His advise is appalling.
At this stage its not about divorce anyway, its about you getting yourself and your child away from this violent abusive man.
Please go to the police and report him and ask them about a womans refuge. Have you get any friends or family who can lend you the money for your fare back to Russia?

By the way, don't tell him anything about any plans to leave. The woman's refuge will be able to help you and give advise. When he is at work, pack some things for yourself and your daughter and  go. Dont let him know whjere you are, but you must go to the police.

This is why its such a bad idea  to marry a man you hardly knew and from another country.   
« Last Edit: Sun May 13, 2018 - 14:06:26 by chosenone »

Offline Alan

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Re: Should I report it ?
« Reply #9 on: Sat May 19, 2018 - 22:30:16 »
Guys, while your advice is good, please respect the rules of the women's forum.

(this post will self destruct)

 

     
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