I'm a member of a conservative church of Christ. I'm 34 years old, and my husband and I have been married for 13 years and we have three children, ages 9, 8 and 6. Since the week my husband and I returned from our honeymoon, he has been addicted to pornography. I've researched and researched on whether or not I have grounds for a divorce, but I'm drowning. I don't believe if he just looks at a woman and thinks she's pretty and therefore lusts, that I have grounds for a divorce. What I'm questioning is the lustful INTENT. About 8 years ago, we both agreed to help his problem by getting a program on the computer to block those sites. He's a computer nerd, so he circumvented the entire system and I never knew about it. For three years. Until he was having heart problems and confessed everything to me.
I recently went out of town for a writers convention and he refused to pick me up from the airport because he "had to go to church". The services he sleeps through. His dad is an elder in the church and after meeting with the elders, they flat out told me to believe I have a right divorce is wrong. I just don't know anymore. There are other things in our marriage... the typical manipulation, twisting of words, double standards, blaming me for our problems, always looking like the good guy when we chat with people.
So my bottom-line question is this: After studying Matthew, Hebrews and all the divorce passages, do I have grounds for divorce? I'm not talking about walking past Victoria's Secret lust, or even a pretty girl lust, but I'm talking about an addiction he admits to, that causes him to actively choose pornography over his wife. Thoughts?
Thanks in advance,