There is no perfect elder! The best description of a person who would/should be an elder/shepherd is probably found in the title of a book written on this subject by Dr. Lynn Anderson. The title is "They Smell Like Sheep". One of the most important observations Anderson makes is how we have confused what Paul had to say about how to spot a person who should be a shepherd. Tradition says that we choose elders/shepherds based on their qualifications. IOW, based on a check off list, a man can serve as an elder if he meets the qualifications. The problem with this tradition in the church is that a man only has to meet the qualification one time to be appointed to that position. Unfortunately, this is not how we should choose elders. They should be chosen on the qualities they posses on a continueing basis. We should also look at those people who attract a following by the nature of how they treat, help, and lead others. Certain people have a natural ability to shepherd people from the ground level, which is why Anderson uses the phrase They Smell Like Sheep. They are right there in the middle of the herd and they pick up the smell of the herd. THey don't lead from a position of aloofness like many of us have seen in our elderships over the years.
Paul, in 1 Timothy and Titus, gave examples of what to look for in a shepherd. These are not the only personal qualities we need to look for but are an example of the types of traits we should be looking for.
If a person (male or female) is recognized by their servant leadership style as being one who is among the sheep and smells like the sheep while leading the sheep by the way of personal qualities that inspire trust and following, then that is as close as you can get to the perfect elder.