Attendance - this was a new one...

[James.]

...when a group of Christians begin to lose touch with each other and everyone go their own separate ways...

Which, sadly enough, can happen even if you've made every meeting--sometimes because of the meeting itself being so discouraging.

[seekr]

It's complicated... part of it is that the in-laws will disown us if we leave, and there isn't a better choice in this small town

First off there is a better choice. Follow God instead of man. Ask Him believing He will answer. I used to fall for the manipulation years ago and made life so hard on my husband trying to get him to perform. Could never do it right...thank God. We now serve in a greater capacity by waiting on Him to put us in paths that change people's lives and we could never do it in the system. Jesus showed intent and the old wineskins do not work

[blituri]

If we followed the CENI we would not have the Law of preaching, the Law of "sanging" or the Law of tithing or laying by in store!

The early church met only once a week for ekklesia or school of the Bible. Historically, people met at other times: after Sunday became a REST DAY in additon to the seventh day, the church continued to meet for the stated purpoose on the Lord's Day but continued to assemble for Bible Study on the Sabbath: this was to keep people FROM the SUN worship which fit the Jewish pattern beginning Friday sunset to Saturday sunset.

The Jews worshipped the starry host or were STAR or SUN worshipers and Apollo (Abaddon or Apollyon) worship was held on the SEVENTH day which began in Babylon and was contradictory to God's plan to make the seventh day (not usually saturday) a day of REST.

So, twice on Sunday does not become a LAW just because the elders follow the old farm schedule of going home to milk and then return on Sunday night.  Sunday Night according to some calendars would be Monday Morning.

Wednesday was called PRAYER MEETING but that has grown to become another Sunday Service without the Lord's Supper.

In Hebrews where people had totally abandoned any assemblying the command was to ASSEMBLE yourselves which is something the SELVES call.  Whey they DISSasssemble then like the synagogue or Ekklesia it ceases to exist like a candle which is snuffed out. In the synagogue teachers were on hand most of the week but the called assembly was for REST, reading and discussing the Word of God--Only. Christ defined that as the church in the wilderness.

The ekklesia and churches had an elder to serve for the year as a CONTACT PERSON.  When Paul addressed a church the mailman would deliver it to the contact man and not to an institution.  If some need arose he cold call the assembly or send out deacons.  Otherwise, the ekklesia as the PATTERN Jesus picked met roughly each week.  It was for verbal instruction only. The second most common use of the PSALLO word was a polluted red rope (never a chalkline) used to DRIVE the market-place hang outs to the ekklesia. They would be MARKED as polluted, paid a fine and were NOT permitted to participate in the discussion.

The ekklesi could not ORIGINATE anything for discussion: likewise neiter the synagogue or church well defined by Paul permitted "doubtful disputations" or that which arose out of the diversity of opinion (Rom 14). Then Paul limits THAT WHICH IS WRITTEN as the only allowable subject for speaking (Rom 15)

So, there is a CONTRACT: competent elders assemble everyone for SCHOOL OF THE BIBLE (The Campbells called it A School of Christ) -- only. The Lord's Supper is also a teaching visual aid.

The members are obligated to attend or OBEY that which the elders teach as "that which HAS BEEN taught" and to watch the outcome of their lives.

In 1 Corinthians 11 Paul said "your assemblies (synagogues) do more harm than good" as he specificially outlawed self speak or that which came out of their OWN SPIRIT.

One might follow the historic PATTERNISM before the Lord's Day was a rest day and EVERYONE worked: you hold the assembly before the work day begins and then, from the Biblical perspective, Sunday is still the FIRST DAY OF WORK.

[HRoberson]

I agree with you, HR, and I'm one of the first to say that you need the fellowship/community/whatever-you-want-to-call it of assembling with Christians. Unfortunately, I don't ever hear about how the assembly is for edification - quite to the contrary, we hear all the time about how church is not for our enjoyment, or edification, or to fill our spiritual needs.

It just bugs me to no end that he is binding on us man-made traditions - it's a guilt trip, and it's not an effective one, either.

This is a common issue in people that major on text rather than message.
This is a common issue in people who perceive God as a guard at the gate rather than a father out looking for his kids.

Be that as it may, I like churches of Christ and have been known to voluntarily assemble with folks that are about to preach the Law of Silence sermon and use people like me as examples. I love them, so I put up with them.

[zoonance]

I agree with you, HR, and I'm one of the first to say that you need the fellowship/community/whatever-you-want-to-call it of assembling with Christians. Unfortunately, I don't ever hear about how the assembly is for edification - quite to the contrary, we hear all the time about how church is not for our enjoyment, or edification, or to fill our spiritual needs.

It just bugs me to no end that he is binding on us man-made traditions - it's a guilt trip, and it's not an effective one, either.

This is a common issue in people that major on text rather than message.
This is a common issue in people who perceive God as a guard at the gate rather than a father out looking for his kids.

Be that as it may, I like churches of Christ and have been known to voluntarily assemble with folks that are about to preach the Law of Silence sermon and use people like me as examples. I love them, so I put up with them.

me too.  lumping the "churches of Christ" ignores the individual people and individual congregations.  We have a lot to offer.  I have said many times, judging from a lot of the alternatives - assuming the Forum comments reflect "them", I appreciate "us" more and more.  We need tweaked perhaps, but not twisted.

[James.]

I agree with you, HR, and I'm one of the first to say that you need the fellowship/community/whatever-you-want-to-call it of assembling with Christians. Unfortunately, I don't ever hear about how the assembly is for edification - quite to the contrary, we hear all the time about how church is not for our enjoyment, or edification, or to fill our spiritual needs.

It just bugs me to no end that he is binding on us man-made traditions - it's a guilt trip, and it's not an effective one, either.

This is a common issue in people that major on text rather than message.
This is a common issue in people who perceive God as a guard at the gate rather than a father out looking for his kids.

Be that as it may, I like churches of Christ and have been known to voluntarily assemble with folks that are about to preach the Law of Silence sermon and use people like me as examples. I love them, so I put up with them.

me too.  lumping the "churches of Christ" ignores the individual people and individual congregations.  We have a lot to offer.  I have said many times, judging from a lot of the alternatives - assuming the Forum comments reflect "them", I appreciate "us" more and more.  We need tweaked perhaps, but not twisted.

Same here, HR & Zoonance. 

[JERRY C]

lunch time at the mill! take a break.

dear sister M,

Jesus dealt with the same problem in his times with the religious leaders around himself.
odd pattern?!!  control? manipulation? well-intentioned, mis-directed concerns?
maybe all of the above - it is hard to say what motivates people.
even if it is in-laws and ministers!
at some point you are going to have to do what is best for you and yours.

I DO believe in every word in the "text"; but I think the "message" can be distorted.
out-of-context proof-texting presents interesting results.
the Bible is still the Word of God, inspired, Spirit-blown, God-breathed.
I see no reason to sell it short because of my inadequacies of understanding.
Like Job, I will sit with my hand over my mouth, and acknowledge His being God.
me, I am just a stupid sinner with more questions than answers.

but, all the while, I apply the common-sense test, and the Spirit-fruit test to theology and preaching.
when I listen to a preacher or teacher, even if I cannot out-argue him/her, I apply these tests.
if the answer comes up blue when it should be red, then a flag goes up.
In my own life, I have had to make some hard choices about fellowship I seek.
But, I live in a different town than my folks.
maybe y'all need to move?!

and, if you are hungering for healthy fellowship that deepens your walk with Jesus,
then, there is not a problem with Heb.10.
but, if you are pulling away from healthy relationships, then there is another issue.
Ask God to lead you and chasten you.

[Mere Nick]

I agree with you, HR, and I'm one of the first to say that you need the fellowship/community/whatever-you-want-to-call it of assembling with Christians. Unfortunately, I don't ever hear about how the assembly is for edification - quite to the contrary, we hear all the time about how church is not for our enjoyment, or edification, or to fill our spiritual needs.

It just bugs me to no end that he is binding on us man-made traditions - it's a guilt trip, and it's not an effective one, either.

This is a common issue in people that major on text rather than message.
This is a common issue in people who perceive God as a guard at the gate rather than a father out looking for his kids.

Be that as it may, I like churches of Christ and have been known to voluntarily assemble with folks that are about to preach the Law of Silence sermon and use people like me as examples. I love them, so I put up with them.

me too.  lumping the "churches of Christ" ignores the individual people and individual congregations.  We have a lot to offer.  I have said many times, judging from a lot of the alternatives - assuming the Forum comments reflect "them", I appreciate "us" more and more.  We need tweaked perhaps, but not twisted.

Same here, HR & Zoonance. 

yep. 

[memmy]

We all need to be continually "tweaked"......and as long as our leaders in our congregations leave room for the "tweaking", and allows each individual to grow. If this were the case in my home church of Christ, then I suppose I may have also stayed there as well.

As for the idea that we need to stay where we are to appease family members, I have at least one family member doing just that, and I know many others who do this too. But does Jesus want us to "go to church" just to appease each other? Doesn't He want us to grow to serve Him? If we can't go to a place that we are able to grow, or able to serve Him fully, then I believe it's time to move on.

If we aren't aiming to serve Him first, then what or who are we aiming to serve?

We can and should serve others no matter where we are, sitting in any type of church, or even going to a job and doing what we can that we know would be pleasing to Him, and giving Him honor. As long as we put Him first, then who is to say where we need to "go"?

He just says to "Go". ("into all the world")

[zoonance]

We all need to be continually "tweaked"......and as long as our leaders in our congregations leave room for the "tweaking", and allows each individual to grow. If this were the case in my home church of Christ, then I suppose I may have also stayed there as well.

As for the idea that we need to stay where we are to appease family members, I have at least one family member doing just that, and I know many others who do this too. But does Jesus want us to "go to church" just to appease each other? Doesn't He want us to grow to serve Him? If we can't go to a place that we are able to grow, or able to serve Him fully, then I believe it's time to move on.

If we aren't aiming to serve Him first, then what or who are we aiming to serve?

We can and should serve others no matter where we are, sitting in any type of church, or even going to a job and doing what we can that we know would be pleasing to Him, and giving Him honor. As long as we put Him first, then who is to say where we need to "go"?

He just says to "Go". ("into all the world")

Sometimes the right thing to do is to show love to our families in ways that require sacrifice.

[memmy]

Depends on what you are being asked to sacrifice.

If we believe we are just going through the motions where our family "goes to church" to appease them, is that really what God wants from us? I believe if I went where my Mom goes, I would be sacrificing my spiritual growth. I don't wish to sacrifice that, and I truly don't believe God wants that from me either.

Matthew 10:37 states; "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;"

I certainly believe we need to continue to love our family, but when it sacrifices my growth in Jesus, I will have to choose Jesus over them.   Do I like to choose? No way, but I must.

Surely if your loved ones were going to a place to corporately worship together, that wasn't teaching truth, but they wanted you to be there, you wouldn't go there over a place that you could grow in Him, would you?

[Arkstfan]

My work has caused me to miss the Sunday morning assembly but most of those days I gathered and ate with a group of Christians that evening and we shared our joys and sorrows and read the word together.

I wish there were as much passion for meeting the needs of the poor and sick as there is for getting the gathering perfect.

[mandalee65]

My work has caused me to miss the Sunday morning assembly but most of those days I gathered and ate with a group of Christians that evening and we shared our joys and sorrows and read the word together.

I wish there were as much passion for meeting the needs of the poor and sick as there is for getting the gathering perfect.

THAT is precisely my beef with the situation.

[James.]

Which reminds of this very good advice from Patrick Mead to a person in a similar situation...

http://patrickmead.net/tentpegs/?p=496

[Livelysword]

I worked shift work for 15 years and missed many services. I was not "forsaking the assembly" but rather providing for my family. People made to feel guilty for missing worship are people who stop coming to worship. The church needs to be supportive and understanding. Attendance does not equal spirituality.

Lively:  not attending service does equal disobedience to the command to not forsake the assembly...