Author Topic: An apology  (Read 1346 times)

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Offline Ryan2010

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An apology
« on: Wed Apr 14, 2010 - 11:54:53 »
I always second guess my words after I've hit the send button.  A lot of times I say things against protestantism and use statements that are bold and assured.  But I can't help but feel that in doing so I've neglected the reality of the state of the reader. 

After all, I was a protestant and I can honestly say that I wasn't consciously rejecting Orthodoxy but was often rejecting that which I thought Orthodoxy to be saying.  And in that sense, looking back, I was often right.  Where I saw legalism, though there was not legalism, I rejected legalism.  I am right to reject legalism but wrong to have believed that what in fact was being taught was legalism.  However, the reality is that despite my inability to see the true teaching before me I was still rejecting the bad and clinging to the good. 

I remember hearing of a Priest's opportunity to call someone a certain heretical term, like Iconoclast or something like that but this Priest when talking to this person did not stoop to do so and even stooped below the opportunity to lift the person up by saying that they do not believe that though this person had (for example) iconoclastic beliefs that could class him as an iconoclast, they did not believe that this was an appropriate title.  Why? 

For precisely the reason I mentioned above.  We often forget that people of different faiths and theologies and most often our selves are engaged not in heresy so much as misinformation or a lack of clarity on a given subject. And knowing that we see but dimly now we must keep this close to our awareness because in all reality, we all, regardless of the faith or denomination/sect hold some kind of heresy of the heart.  Every time pride sneaks in or we are ill equipped to say what we truly mean and so give a false impression, we have entered into a kind of heresy wherein we have said that the Truth is in fact something other than we were able to actually Express.

Of course our words fall short of being able to capture The Truth but does not negate the truth that we are still bound to speak it.  However, one of our bishops gave a speech and he said something that really struck me.  Something I always knew but never knew quite how to say and more than this never quite fully lived.  He said, "we must speak the truth in love but if we don't have love then what we are speaking ceases to be truth.  In all actuality we reduce the Truth to a mere fact which we use as one does a weapon".  Now, I paraphrased dear Bishop +Jonah's words here but this is the essence of what he said to this crowd of Anglicans. 

I examine what I've said in the past few days and I realize that being caught up in the content of some of what I was saying I wound up neglecting the reason why I was saying what I was saying in the first place.  Love.  It is love that is the point of anything we say at all.  Of course, God is love and Christ is Truth but how quickly we forget.  Caught up in my zeal to present this love I misplaced love for moments and the content of what I was speaking during those times was lost.  It's not that I wasn't clear or factual but that any power or authority that might be present in such words that pointed to Christ were hijacked by my shortcomings and so suffered my readers and exposed my pride and selfish ambitions as being held in higher regard than the love of my fellow man. 

It's such a struggle to talk with others because on one hand I desire to stay in contact but at the same time I find that I am often tempted beyond my abilities and succumb to my want to lift myself up higher than the Love that I hope to be present that me and my listeners might share it. 

My apologies to those who were exposed to this and if you likewise have done such things, now that because I too sought forgiveness and continue to do so that you are also forgiven and I will harbor any of your sins in my memory. 

More than this I also promise that above your mistreatment and your shortcomings that I will look at those facts you presented and try to see the love in them to discern whether or not they are true.  Though I see dimly now I do hope that if I seek Him then I will see but again I think this depends on whether or not I can manage to allow God to make a pure heart in me. 

God grant us the strength to allow you to make our paths straight.  Grant us a broken spirit and contrite heart that we might not seek to usurp your seat. 

I do hope that we continue to have these talks and that none would take any of the others shortcomings as reason to cease talks.  I do believe that all sides seek unity but often have the tower of Babel between us.  In order for the many tongues to become one goes beyond our abilities so I will pray that the Holy Spirit continue to lead us during these talks. 

John 17:23
I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

Forgive me.   


Christ is risen