Author Topic: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?  (Read 34595 times)

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Offline TSC

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #105 on: Fri Mar 05, 2010 - 07:35:14 »
I need some Godly counsel, Please help me!!

   Last month I had to call the police on my husband because he hit one of my pets, cat, braking his front leg, just because he is always so mad, the police arrested him.  
We both are suppose to be christian. But I can see that my husband commitment to God was not strong at all.  He feels as thought because he got married he got in debt.  We have only been married for 8 months. In those 8 months, because he became bitter and sorry that he married me. He was very harsh with me, critical and punished me for his misfortune. I have endured a lot of ugly things.  I was in love with him when I married him.  Needless to say that because of his treatment, I am very hurt.  He swears he loves me and wants to work things out with me, but at the moment he is staying by his mothers' house because he said we fight too much.

I don't believe in divorce, but my first 8 months have been hell already.  
I do believe that with God everything is possible, but I also, if my husband is not seeking God, what am I suppose to do? I don't think he loves me.

I did wrong from the start by marrying him without seeking the Lord enough for His direction, and now I am in torment.  Last week I checked his cell phone records and found out he is downloading soft porn or porn pictures into his cell phone.  
When I met him in church, he was christian. He has a 2 year college diploma from  Bible College.  But that has not stopped him from doing all this.

Is my punishment to stay with him because I did wrong?


Sounds like a bad situation. I think divorce is a terrible thing but Jesus said that adultery gives you grounds for divorce. And if your husband as been looking at porn, then he has already committed adultery in his heart (Matt 5:28, Matt 5:32)

Does anyone object? As far as I know what Jesus said on this subject was pretty clear

I agree with HR - "The preferred choice is always to keep our commitments rather than look for reasons not to."  This is really what Christ was attempting to establlish.

I find it speaks volumes that when confronted with the Pharisees about "lawfulness of their divorces" Christ's initial response -- "What God has joined together, etc."-- was meant to be the end of the discussion.  It was only after their continual questioning did he feel compelled to get into it further.
« Last Edit: Fri Mar 05, 2010 - 08:57:51 by TSC »

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #105 on: Fri Mar 05, 2010 - 07:35:14 »

Offline RedemptionAddict

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #106 on: Fri Mar 05, 2010 - 20:46:36 »
I need some Godly counsel, Please help me!!

   Last month I had to call the police on my husband because he hit one of my pets, cat, braking his front leg, just because he is always so mad, the police arrested him.  
We both are suppose to be christian. But I can see that my husband commitment to God was not strong at all.  He feels as thought because he got married he got in debt.  We have only been married for 8 months. In those 8 months, because he became bitter and sorry that he married me. He was very harsh with me, critical and punished me for his misfortune. I have endured a lot of ugly things.  I was in love with him when I married him.  Needless to say that because of his treatment, I am very hurt.  He swears he loves me and wants to work things out with me, but at the moment he is staying by his mothers' house because he said we fight too much.

I don't believe in divorce, but my first 8 months have been hell already.  
I do believe that with God everything is possible, but I also, if my husband is not seeking God, what am I suppose to do? I don't think he loves me.

I did wrong from the start by marrying him without seeking the Lord enough for His direction, and now I am in torment.  Last week I checked his cell phone records and found out he is downloading soft porn or porn pictures into his cell phone.  
When I met him in church, he was christian. He has a 2 year college diploma from  Bible College.  But that has not stopped him from doing all this.

Is my punishment to stay with him because I did wrong?


Sounds like a bad situation. I think divorce is a terrible thing but Jesus said that adultery gives you grounds for divorce. And if your husband as been looking at porn, then he has already committed adultery in his heart (Matt 5:28, Matt 5:32)

Does anyone object? As far as I know what Jesus said on this subject was pretty clear
I would object on a number of grounds.
-- Looking at porn is not the same as adultery, despite what the Matthew passages seem to indicate.
-- Even if it is, the exception was not provided as the preferred choice - it was allowed because of hardness of our hearts.
-- The preferred choice is always to keep our commitments rather than look for reasons not to.

It's a heart thing, not a law thing. Why do we keep forgetting that?


I don't believe there is room for debate here. The scriptures speak for themselves. If any man looks at a woman to lust after her he has committed adultery with her in his heart.

That's all I will say on the matter

Offline TSC

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #107 on: Sat Mar 06, 2010 - 09:50:51 »
I need some Godly counsel, Please help me!!

   Last month I had to call the police on my husband because he hit one of my pets, cat, braking his front leg, just because he is always so mad, the police arrested him.  
We both are suppose to be christian. But I can see that my husband commitment to God was not strong at all.  He feels as thought because he got married he got in debt.  We have only been married for 8 months. In those 8 months, because he became bitter and sorry that he married me. He was very harsh with me, critical and punished me for his misfortune. I have endured a lot of ugly things.  I was in love with him when I married him.  Needless to say that because of his treatment, I am very hurt.  He swears he loves me and wants to work things out with me, but at the moment he is staying by his mothers' house because he said we fight too much.

I don't believe in divorce, but my first 8 months have been hell already.  
I do believe that with God everything is possible, but I also, if my husband is not seeking God, what am I suppose to do? I don't think he loves me.

I did wrong from the start by marrying him without seeking the Lord enough for His direction, and now I am in torment.  Last week I checked his cell phone records and found out he is downloading soft porn or porn pictures into his cell phone.  
When I met him in church, he was christian. He has a 2 year college diploma from  Bible College.  But that has not stopped him from doing all this.

Is my punishment to stay with him because I did wrong?


Sounds like a bad situation. I think divorce is a terrible thing but Jesus said that adultery gives you grounds for divorce. And if your husband as been looking at porn, then he has already committed adultery in his heart (Matt 5:28, Matt 5:32)

Does anyone object? As far as I know what Jesus said on this subject was pretty clear
I would object on a number of grounds.
-- Looking at porn is not the same as adultery, despite what the Matthew passages seem to indicate.
-- Even if it is, the exception was not provided as the preferred choice - it was allowed because of hardness of our hearts.
-- The preferred choice is always to keep our commitments rather than look for reasons not to.

It's a heart thing, not a law thing. Why do we keep forgetting that?


I don't believe there is room for debate here. The scriptures speak for themselves. If any man looks at a woman to lust after her he has committed adultery with her in his heart.

That's all I will say on the matter

"Adultery in the heart" and physical adultery are not the same thing in practicality, just as having hatred toward someone is not the same as murdering them.  Keep in mind that in the book of James he called his Christian listeners "adulterers and adulteresses" because of bonding themselves to some types of wordliness.  Does that mean all their spouses had grounds to divorce them???  Of course not.  When Christ spoke of adultery and murder in these verses he was using preacher's rhetoric that his listeners understood perfectly. 

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #107 on: Sat Mar 06, 2010 - 09:50:51 »

Offline janine

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #108 on: Sat Mar 06, 2010 - 10:16:06 »
Divorce is not the unforgivable sin.  Neither is murder.  Either one is a very serious matter and it's horrible when it happens, but the Lord heals and forgives.

And if a home has become Hellish, and a spouse cannot (or should not, in the case of danger to life & limb) stay, even if a person feels divorce is never to be done -- there is no law that says s/he has to stay in a nasty place with a spouse committed to evil.

Offline janine

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #109 on: Sat Mar 06, 2010 - 10:24:19 »
... Divorce may be a symptom of a bigger problem.  Could it be the problem of disobedience?  Or what I believe, that many don't know that Jesus considers remarriage after a divorce adultery.

Even if marriage after divorce is adultery -- and I do not agree with you that it always is, or even that it ever is -- even adultery is not the unforgivable sin.

I like Mark Lowry's position on divorce.  He gets to it at 5:03.

[youtube]4aWIQFogJAc[/youtube]


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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #109 on: Sat Mar 06, 2010 - 10:24:19 »



Offline TSC

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #110 on: Sat Mar 06, 2010 - 11:52:36 »
Divorce is not the unforgivable sin.  Neither is murder.  Either one is a very serious matter and it's horrible when it happens, but the Lord heals and forgives.

And if a home has become Hellish, and a spouse cannot (or should not, in the case of danger to life & limb) stay, even if a person feels divorce is never to be done -- there is no law that says s/he has to stay in a nasty place with a spouse committed to evil.

Yes, if you're going to use Christ's words to trap people into never divorcing and remarrying, then you shouldn't use a double standard by negating Paul's words that a wife is not to depart.  And, of course, if you're not going to use that double standard, then how do you reconcile your opinion with I. Cor. 7:15 that God has called us to peace? 

A lot of pastors get around this issue by claiming vs. 11 was some allowance for extreme circumstances such as physical abuse, etc., but that is a contextual error. 


Offline danno78

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #111 on: Tue Mar 09, 2010 - 07:31:30 »
I have been pondering the issue of divorce and remarriage  intensely over the last 9 months...reading, studying and listening to well known pastors preaching on the topic. This is because my wife abandoned me for another man, and I am seeking wisdom on what steps to take.

A few common schools of thought in relationship to this  are:

1. You  can pretty much divorce for any reason at all and  remarry (I was shocked to hear pastor's preach this way).

2. If you are the innocent party of a marriage where there has been sexual immorality, then you can divorce and remarry.

3. You cannot divorce or remarry.

4. You can divorce but not remarry.


Now I would love for me to be able to marry someone else one day, cause quite frankly my wife was mentally abusive towards me and I would love a woman who would treat me right...BUT...it's not about  my will. I want to know what 'God's stand' is on this issue. He is the one I will face on the day, no one else. 

People talk too much about grace as if it is a licence to sin, but Hebrews says quite clearly that we can frustrate the spirit of grace, and that if we sin willfully, we can expect a worse punishment than in the times of Moses (which was death) because we are trampling Christ underfoot.

Don't get me wrong, we all need grace, but it is activated by faith..and faith as James says, will be shown by our works..works of obedience to God.

So the word of God says that if we divorce and remarry..it is adultery...the union is adulterous. How can a union be adulterous on Tuesday, and perfectly pure on a Wednesday? It doesn't make sense to me. Should we say the same about homosexuals? On their wedding day, the union is wrong, but afterwards it is OK? To me if it was wrong on day one, it will still be wrong on day 501.

So then there is the exception clause 'sexual immorality' mentioned in Matthew. Now to the person who believed that lusting after another woman was grounds for divorce (because of sexual immorality) , Jesus was clearly talking about the state of a person's heart, not the state of their actions. Otherwise people would be up for murder charges because they called their brother a fool. There is a very big difference between a heart motive and a physical act. Jesus is still very concerned about the motive of the heart though, but no, I do not think it falls into the 'sexual immorality' definition of the bible, as sexual immorality in the bible was always a physical act.  And think about it, if adultery in the heart was grounds for divorce, then the divorce rate should be 95% as I am sure that is a more accurate figure for how many spouses lust after someone other than their spouse (men and women alike), even if only for a fleeting moment.

And why in our weding vows do we say 'till death do us part' (which lines up with scripture) if there is more than one way to part?

Now to the man who said that God made a covenant with Israel that He will never break, I think this is closest to God's heart. Once a covenant is made, it is only breakable by death.

Anyway I am still not 100% convinced either way yet, but I am somewhere between the fact that it is ok for an innocent party in a adulterous marriage to divorce and remarry 

AND  there is  no remarriage. 


God Bless you and thanks for reading a lengthy post.

Offline TSC

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #112 on: Tue Mar 09, 2010 - 13:55:34 »
The false doctrine of the indissolubility of marriage I feel is what creates so much confusion.  I also think a lot of misunderstanding about MDR usually occurs because of ignorance on the context of Christ's and Paul's words.  It's a foregone conclusion that many of Jesus' listeners on that day were divorced and remarried, and possibly some of his disciples as well.  Divorce in that day was not looked upon with any kind of askance as it is today.  When Christ said he that divorceth his wife and marries another commits adultery, he was using rhetorical language that his listeners would have understood.  Most divorces were based on "any matter" rather than a more literal "matter of indecency" or "indecency of a matter."  Christ's response to them dealt specifically with their misusing this passage of scripture. 

It's noteworthy that the Jews of that day recogonized other grounds for divorce as well and by identifying their error on this one ground, Christ was not necessarily condemning all the other recognized grounds.

Offline RedemptionAddict

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #113 on: Thu Mar 11, 2010 - 22:29:25 »
I think all of us talk too much.

Just read the BIble and believe it and do it.

Take all the verses on the subject and lay them out. Then seperate all the commentary from what the Bible actually says, and just believe WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS . . .




I know, I know . . . Deep thoughts.

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #113 on: Thu Mar 11, 2010 - 22:29:25 »

debra

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #114 on: Wed Mar 17, 2010 - 22:03:33 »
This ia an example of what bothers me about Christianity.  I am divorced. I never dated or remarried. I have never been with any man but my ex husband. He took a job in another state and  I remained behind to sell the house. Out of the blue he sent me a letter telling me he doesn't want me and he filed for divorce. I was not consulted, had no idea he was even thinking of it,  and to this day have no idea why.

Yet christians call me the adulteress. 

The bible calls me the adulteress, yet I have not, and will not.

HRoberson

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #115 on: Thu Mar 18, 2010 - 06:53:37 »
Christianity doesn't call you an adulteress, but some uninformed Christians might.Unfortunately, all religions and philosophies have people in them who are beginners and/or who do not grasp the real central tenets of their beliefs. Many have enough book knowledge to get themselves and others into trouble.
Sorry for the label you have been given; it isn't accurate.

Offline RedemptionAddict

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #116 on: Thu Mar 18, 2010 - 20:53:18 »
Any advice of where I could find a discussion board that has more than 3 people who post bi-weekly?

HRoberson

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #117 on: Fri Mar 19, 2010 - 18:44:20 »
No.
Good luck.

Offline saul

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #118 on: Thu Jan 13, 2011 - 11:31:53 »
4 CHRIST  I Must say this is short but Excellent.

Offline saul

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #119 on: Sat Jan 22, 2011 - 12:34:18 »
This ia an example of what bothers me about Christianity.  I am divorced. I never dated or remarried. I have never been with any man but my ex husband. He took a job in another state and  I remained behind to sell the house. Out of the blue he sent me a letter telling me he doesn't want me and he filed for divorce. I was not consulted, had no idea he was even thinking of it,  and to this day have no idea why.

Yet christians call me the adulteress. 

The bible calls me the adulteress, yet I have not, and will not.

Debra, 
This is why you are already streets ahead of some whom call themselves Christian, in that you from your nature have Truth and decency within, but Christ will show you from where this comes and how to gain More especially ever lasting Life in Paradise without, Murderers Liars, the Deceitful, the Greedy, the Brutal, and the perverse.

Offline jamgra

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Remarriage: Why Are God's Anointed Silent?
« Reply #120 on: Thu Mar 31, 2011 - 06:03:41 »
Divorce can be prevented, by the help of communication of two spouse. They must know how to handle every ups and down of their family. Divorce can be very painful to those people who are involved in especially children. You may want to visit Sorry Link deleted per rule 3.3 and possible 3.1 to know more about it.
« Last Edit: Thu Mar 31, 2011 - 09:13:08 by larry2 »