Chosenone, Scripture doesn't say that submission is where the wife makes decisions as long as her husband agrees with her, which means, i.e., that she really isn't making any decisions at all as a wife, but rather is being treated like a child where she has to clear everything through an adult first. So the idea that in those situations where the two of you don't agree on something you yield the decision to your husband is really moot, because he has to approve all decisions, anyway. That isn't the meaning of hupotasso, the infamous "submit" passage.
No one says that hupotasso is trying to take the man's role. We are sharing, rightly and Scripturally so as we are no longer two, but have become one in marriage, sharing the burdens and responsibilities of family and life with our husbands. Sharing is not taking anything. It is so very frustrating that this idea is continually perpetuated.
The connection between those women who are abusive to their husbands needs to be removed from the discussion. They are no more following Scripture than the man who beats his wife in the name of "submission". Both have abused Scripture.
It isn't "natural" for women to be "submissive" as you define it because that is not the correct definition. When taught and practiced as the mutual, life-giving, supporting role that the word means, it is easy to do, no one abuses anyone, it is full of agape, and it works beautifully, peacefully, enduringly.