Author Topic: Teen sex  (Read 6309 times)

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Offline gkuwas

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Teen sex
« on: Sat Jul 30, 2011 - 18:25:34 »
I am a youth pastor and wonder if another pastor has experience with this. One of the kids (aged 17) confessed to me having had sex on various occasions with an unsaved girlfriend. They have since broken up but he is worried about it. Should I involve his parents in this or should i just keep it between us? Really intetested in other pastors' points of view. Thanks.

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Teen sex
« on: Sat Jul 30, 2011 - 18:25:34 »

Wednesday

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Re: Teen sex
« Reply #1 on: Sun Jul 31, 2011 - 00:21:29 »
I am a youth pastor and wonder if another pastor has experience with this. One of the kids (aged 17) confessed to me having had sex on various occasions with an unsaved girlfriend. They have since broken up but he is worried about it. Should I involve his parents in this or should i just keep it between us? Really intetested in other pastors' points of view. Thanks.

Well no, I'm not a pastor but I was a 17yo teen once and I can tell you if you wish to continue being a "youth" pastor and be able to help this young person you had better not say anything to anyone!  If you say something to anyone it will (and I promise you) get out that you told.  Not ONE of those teens will ever and I mean ever trust you again.  You can hang up your youth pastor hat.

My 2 cents, I will pray for you and the teen that the Lord will lead you both!  ::prayinghard::

Offline chosenone

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Re: Teen sex
« Reply #2 on: Sun Jul 31, 2011 - 03:41:25 »
Agree with wednesday. He told you about this in confidence, and thats where it needs to stay. Tell him that if he has repented then he is forgiven, but also tell him that he needs to only go out with Christian girls from now on, and stay away from sex. Show him in the bible where it says these things if it will help. He is 17 so very nearly an adult anyway, and he doesnt need his parents to be told anything.

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Re: Teen sex
« Reply #2 on: Sun Jul 31, 2011 - 03:41:25 »

Offline gkuwas

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Re: Teen sex
« Reply #3 on: Sun Jul 31, 2011 - 08:13:45 »
Everyone, thank you so much for your kind advice. I tend to agree. But just in case, if anyone out there is a pastor and has encountered this sort of thing in your ministry, please let me hear from you how you handled it. Much obliged. God bless!

Offline jlsmrs

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Re: Teen sex
« Reply #4 on: Mon Oct 17, 2011 - 20:11:37 »
I was told a few months ago by one of the kids in my youth group that he was having sex w/ another girl in our youth group. They are both 16. He and I prayed about it, he repented and we went on. A few months go by, and last Sunday morning, the boy, and the family of the girl were not in church. When I called to find out why, I nearly fainted. The MOTHER found the boy, 16 and his g/f, 16, in the closet having sex. Now... I am the bad guy because I made them her tell her father, who is a close personal friend of mine. Now, the boy's parents are ok w/ them having sex, and the boy no longer wants anything to do w/ me because I suggested they spend some time apart and be separated. They can still date but they need to be supervised. When he told me before that they were having sex, I didn't say anything to anyone, because I knew if I did, then the parents would kill him and then I'd have to go on the run and be put in the witness protection program etc *sarcasm and joking :D* In the present, the parents already know. I need prayer. The kids no longer want anything to do with me AND they are going out of their way to keep other kids from coming to church.

...but...

The gates of hell will not prevail against the Kingdom of Heaven.



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Re: Teen sex
« Reply #4 on: Mon Oct 17, 2011 - 20:11:37 »



Lively Stone

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Re: Teen sex
« Reply #5 on: Mon Oct 17, 2011 - 23:59:27 »
I was told a few months ago by one of the kids in my youth group that he was having sex w/ another girl in our youth group. They are both 16. He and I prayed about it, he repented and we went on. A few months go by, and last Sunday morning, the boy, and the family of the girl were not in church. When I called to find out why, I nearly fainted. The MOTHER found the boy, 16 and his g/f, 16, in the closet having sex. Now... I am the bad guy because I made them her tell her father, who is a close personal friend of mine. Now, the boy's parents are ok w/ them having sex, and the boy no longer wants anything to do w/ me because I suggested they spend some time apart and be separated. They can still date but they need to be supervised. When he told me before that they were having sex, I didn't say anything to anyone, because I knew if I did, then the parents would kill him and then I'd have to go on the run and be put in the witness protection program etc *sarcasm and joking :D* In the present, the parents already know. I need prayer. The kids no longer want anything to do with me AND they are going out of their way to keep other kids from coming to church.

...but...

The gates of hell will not prevail against the Kingdom of Heaven.




These kids need to be told by the church that they cannot date. Dating is not for kids their age--which is a big reason why they have gotten into sex as the world considers dating a sexual relationship. These are carnal kids and their parents are not with the program.

If they do not follow the leaders of their church in this, they should be removed. They are already diluting and polluting the other youth in your church and that cannot be allowed. As a pastor---are you their pastor?---you have the responsibility of caring for the spiritual welfare  of the others. It isn't worth losing the others due to immoral behaviour of a few.

This may end up costing you some personal pain, but God is holding you to a higher standard as their spiritual leader. Make a strong stand for righteousness and God will lead and guide and protect you...and the youth of your church will benefit! They have their whole futures ahead of them, and what happens here and now in this situation will mark them. Believe me.

Mark them for Jesus Christ and His righteousness.

Offline gkuwas

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Re: Teen sex
« Reply #6 on: Tue Oct 18, 2011 - 05:23:10 »
Hi guys

jlsmrs, don't feel bad about standing up for truth. As youth leaders/pastors we need to show the way in conduct and teaching in what should be basic behaviour for all christians:
1 Pet 1:
14 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.
15 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do;
16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.

 

     
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