I usually ask the creator to guide me to help people the best way I can. The problem is that there are a few people in my life that occasionally come to for moral support, then tell me I'm not a good friend or family member based on what I say. The rest of the people who know me have decided I'm anywhere from annoying to crazy and dangerous.
Even strangers look at me strange and either laugh at me or get angry & yell at me, like the time I accidentally rolled my r's when ordering at a Mexican restaurant. (I'm white & they don't like that.)
I often have suicidal ideation but never actually make an attempt for fear of what might actually happen (going to a hellish realm, not actually succeeding but being paralyzed for years, etc.) However, I’m very grateful when he reminds me that I'm still of some use and can help a friend.
My young friend & I have been chatting and praying over the phone since she was a preteen. (She lives in another state). I'm friends with her mom and she never minded. My young friend, let's call her Sally, often has suicidal thoughts and is anorexic and bulimic.
About 2 mo's ago, I had a dream a neighbor came to visit me. As he was sitting in my house, a letter fell out of his pocket. He then got up & said he'd be right back. After he left, I noticed the letter, picked it up & read it. The envelope was already open. The letter was to him from "Sally". In it, she said, "It's really annoying talking to Shelly. She's crazy. I just can't talk to her any more. He then came back within a few minutes & I said, "Oh you dropped this." He said, "Oh my letter! That reminds me. I have an amulet for "Sally". It's been blessed. I want you to give it to her. I noticed that the symbols on it were Wiccan & and then somehow that he was a demon manifested as a man. He gave me the amulet & he left. After he left, I threw it in this fire & prayed for protection for Sally and me.
It was around this time that she started ignoring me for 2-3 wks at a time before she'd text or call even if I texted her. I texted her immediately, because Ifelt the dream was a message for her & she says, "Do u feel there's no hope for me?" After talking a while, she says she's having problems with her boyfriend and her landlord. "Shelly, It feels like he's not going to be able to go with me to the Phillippines." and "We just have so little space in our room that I don't know where to put things like his B.... statue." I cut her off & say,"Wait! I thought you believed they were dangerous & invited demons into your home. She says,"I've been so busy, I haven't really thought about it." I remind her about the paranormal activity at her parents house that she was so desperate to get away from how they're her mom's & she the one who's so aweful to her, telling her she wishes she was never born & steals or throws away her things. I say she needs to get rid of it asap.
The next day, she said it was gone but that things got quite emotional. I ask her what happened but she refuses to talk about it. A few more wks go by without a word from her. Then a few days ago, she texts me & says, "Shelly, I feel there's something wrong with me." She says she can't stop eating altogether but she wants to slowly starve herself & reopen her ulcers from the last time she did this. "I skip breakfast & lunch and have a half sandwich before work & when I get home, I smoke a few joints with Jay. & go to bed." "During the day, I drink water when I'm hungry. I,m finally skinny again but I have no energy & all I want to do is sleep. What should I do?" I said, "Try to eat any way & pray for the right mindset." She says, "I can't Shelly. I've tried to eat more but when I do, I feel fat & ugly & make myself throw up."
Later in the conversation, "I think I might be having too much rough sex. My cervix really hurts. But at the time, even though it hurts physically, I enjoy the pain because it makes me numb out." I say, "Have you told Jay any of this." She says, "I don't want him to worry. The next day, "Shelly, I'm getting emotional again. I'm afraid I'm going to lose Jay forever. I think I want to get pregnant before I leave. Then he'll have to move to the Phillippines eventually." All of Jay's family & friends are where they live in Norfolk, by the way. I beg her not too, saying it would be disastrous for her. "With how weak you are, you're bound to miscarry. And everyone there smokes weed. Even if you stopped, how could you keep from getting a contact high. And if you miscarry, you'll be even more depressed than you are now." She then gets very angry, "OMG!! You think I'll miscarry? You're just jealous cuz ur alone & I have the best boyfriend anyone could find! You could be a little more supportive!" I told her I was just trying to help her avoid making a huge mistake. I keep texting but she wouldn’t text back.
A few hours later, she texts me & says, "Shelly, I’m so depressed.” I tried to talk to her about getting pregnant & understand why she got so upset. I tried to get her to listen to reason and she said, “Shelly, plz, Ur just gonna make me cry again. What must I do to make sure Jay goes with me to the Philippines? I’ll do anything.” Both make minimum wage in fast food & pay $200/mo for a bedroom in a friend’s apt. She says they can’t afford anything else. I say, “Since it’s only a few months away, there might not be anything you can do, but there’s a chance. You need to start going to church with him and pray with others about it, people at church, me, your other friends, not just by yourself the way you have been. And you need to tell Jay everything, your visions about the future, that you’ve been trying to starve yourself, etc. She says, “If I tell him the truth about the future, I keep thinking the first thing he’s going to say is, “Have you been talking to Shelly again? I can see she has been putting crazy ideas in your head.”
I say, “What gave him the idea I have been putting crazy ideas in your head??” She says, “Well, to be honest, he thinks u r a little crazy. He just worries about me.” I say, “What made him think I’m crazy? What have you been telling him? You know I’m not.” She says, “He read some of ur texts.” I asked her which ones and she says, “the ones about the statue. He says you are a fanatic and a bad influence, and to tell you the truth, the reason I haven’t been talking to you much is because a lot of the time I agree with him.” Now last year, she told me she agreed with me that part of the reason there were strange things going on in her parents’ house was because of these “B…. statues. I won’t say the name. Now it’s like he has made her mind completely over, just like in my dream.
This whole conversation is over text, by the way. A little while later, I text her and say she is in an unevenly yoked relationship with someone who is coming between her and God and I get a reply, “Shelly. Don’t ever contact “Sally” again. She doesn’t want to talk to you. And by the way, I’m a great boyfriend. You don’t know me. What’s ur fu….. problem? Telling her she is weak, she can’t have my baby and that her prayers alone aren’t good enough? Who the h…. do you think you are?? You don’t deserve her as a friend!”
Now I’m depressed. I’m wondering if I did anything wrong. Please pray for me and for my friend. Please only pray to the creator of the heavens and the earth. As for needing to know names, my name is Shelly Bradley and you can simply call her Shelly’s anorexic friend, seeing as her real name is not Sally. I only have one friend who is anorexic. I would also love to have any advice from a Christian, scriptural viewpoint as to how I should handle the situation or if I did anything wrong.
Thank you very much and may the creator bless you.