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Author Topic: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?  (Read 1524 times)

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Offline Rahn

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Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« on: January 25, 2009, 04:38:51 PM »
I went by the cemetery today. I have tried to visit at least once every two weeks. This past Christmas, my sister-in-law and brother bought a wreath. She decorated the wreath with ribbons, roses, and placed an angel in the center of the wreath. We went to the grace and placed it at my mom's grave. There were many graves decorated with all kinds of ornaments. One grave was covered with green leafs and flowers. We had a wreath. My oldest brother shoved the stand into the ground. We took pictures. We paused and talked briefly about my mom. My dad was caught up in his own memories. He took care of her for years. 

Some people do not spend much time at the grave. It may bring too much pain. You may have had a difficult childhood or you are too far away. I drive by the cemetery everyday. For years I drove by knowing that my parents had bought a plots at this place. I did not think much about. Now, it is a reality.

I visit this place because it keeps me in touch with my emotions. It also keeps me in touch, to some extent, with my faith. My mom taught me how to pray. She "forced" her children to go to worship. (I have not always been faithful with this.) I learned a lot about faith from my mother.

At the back of this cemetery there is a stone tomb. It is made of rocks and bricks. There is round stone door rolled away. The people at this place built it with one thing in mind. The other day I went by and got a closer look. There is a small place where a body could have been laid. It is empty. There is no there. On the outside there is a statue of an angel in white stone. The plaque at the bottom reads "The one you seek is not here, He is risen."

I know others who visit this forum have lost loved ones. A few who posted in the past are gone. I cannot speak for others.  Right now, I am seeking to live as I should. I do not know. I wonder if those on the other side can see? Is my mother simply sleeping or can she see what is going on in the world? I know there are scholars who could debate for hours or days on this subject.

I wonder how many others struggle with believing in the empty tomb. For me it is very real. I do not fully understand why this makes me cry. I have seen it in some movies. The Resurrection is a reality . I have never seen a dead person come back to life. All I have is a record of an event that happened almost 2000 years ago. I place my faith in a written record of this event. I am called to live my life based on this event. Right now, I live and wait for a day. I may not be alive when this day comes. It does not matter. "Coming on the clouds."  ::reading::  ::prayinghard::

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Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« on: January 25, 2009, 04:38:51 PM »

Offline graceforme

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2009, 12:19:31 PM »
Rahn,  I know exactly what you're talking about.  I visit my parents' grave often.  I even had a marble bench put under a pretty little maple tree near their gravesite.  I often go there and just sit and ponder, and remember days gone by.  I cry sometimes - sometimes I don't.  I decorate it with seasonal flowers and special arrangements for the holidays.  Does it benefit them?  Of course not.  But it seems to give me comfort to do these things.  So I will continue. 

Many blessings to you.

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2009, 12:19:31 PM »

Offline fanuvmxpx

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2009, 01:21:36 PM »
I think it is different for every person. While my parents have not yet passed away, my grandparents, uncles & cousin have. I reflect on their lives in pictures mostly, photo albums, I don't re-visit grave sites.

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2009, 01:21:36 PM »

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2009, 04:19:14 PM »
There's a little country graveyard upon a hill where most of my mom's family are buried.  She's there too now. Our sister went a couple of years after her death.  My brother has never visited the graves but I get a sense of peace by going even if they don't know I'm there and I'm sure they don't but it just does me good.

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2009, 04:19:14 PM »

Mikeyjc

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2009, 06:06:21 PM »
When my dad died,  my mother, in her grief, did not use sound judgement and kept me away from his funeral.  "He is too young." was the reason at the time.  She apologized years later for making that mistake.  Her mind had been so affected by grief that she even sent a suit to the funeral home to bury my dad in.  He had been reduced to ashes at the accident scene.

Because of that incredible void the only thing I could do was visit his gravesite even though he died a believer.  But as creepy as it may sound when I was a kid growing up I used to want to dig up his casket and open it.  Of course those desires wanned but it is tough for a child to lose a parently suddenly...but not to be able to say goodbye is so painful... that pain carries on into adulthood.

I do not live in the same community as the graveyard where he is buried but I will visit again sometime in the future.  I do not go there as often as I used to.  But I will tell you this--when I said goodbye to my dad at his gravesite in 1984 (he died in '61) I threw my arms around his tombstone and cried a river--but I achieved peace in my heart by doing that and I thank God for that.

I think it is okay to visit a grave--but I do not think that it is healthy to become obsessed with it.  But then again, we each grieve according to our own hearts--so I can't really judge.

Just one piece of unsolicited advice--do not keep children away from the funeral of a loved one where love abounded in his/her/their relationship with the deceased.  It will haunt them, as it did me, for years and may be cause for regret for you.
« Last Edit: January 27, 2009, 03:26:36 PM by Mikeyjc »

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2009, 06:06:21 PM »



Offline Elaine

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2009, 06:35:40 PM »

--do not keep children away from the funeral of a loved one where love abounded in his/her/their relationship with the deceased.  It will haunt them, as it did me, for years and may be cause for regret to you.

Yes.

Offline jessbuds

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2009, 11:59:37 PM »
 
Quote
wonder how many others struggle with believing in the empty tomb. For me it is very real. I do not fully understand why this makes me cry. I have seen it in some movies. The Resurrection is a reality . I have never seen a dead person come back to life. All I have is a record of an event that happened almost 2000 years ago. I place my faith in a written record of this event. I am called to live my life based on this event. Right now, I live and wait for a day. I may not be alive when this day comes. It does not matter. "Coming on the clouds."

Empty Tomb. These two words gives me joy and hope cause it always reminds me that Jesus raise from the dead. It is the proof that our Saviour and loving Father is alive.

I visit the tomb of my mother because it is the last place i know where she laid. But i dont believe she is still there; she is already in a good place with Jesus whom she believed and loved.  ::smile::


Offline Jon-Marc

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Re: Cemeteries: Why visit a grave?
« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2009, 09:27:33 AM »
I have never visited a grave since all that is there is the empty remains of what was once a person; the person in that body is gone. Besides, I'm not the sentimental type. I tried once to find my mother's grave and couldn't, and she's the only one whose grave I would consider visiting--although why I don't know.