Feeling like I am "faking it".

[christy84065]

I grew up in a very religious household.  My father converted to a, let's just say, fanatical form of religion when I was around 8 and he brought me in when I was about 15.  I married there and was completely sold on the religion and trusted the leaders and teachers figuring they had been there done that, read that book and was convinced they had the "only true religion" and pittied everyone else in the world for not having the truth.  A few years back a bombshell exposed the lies I was being fed and I lost my religion and very hurt and confused for three years.  About a year and a half ago I came to a point where my boys were growing up without God and I had to do something.  God brought me to a local non denominational church where I was welcomed in and have loved it ever since.  Lately I have been frustrated at the feeling that I am "faking it" and not really feeling it.  I read the Bible and I think about God, the Gospel all the time just about.  And I just don't know why I still struggle and question the validity of it all!  Why can't I just accept it as truth and get on with it?  I question if prayer is really useful.  I struggle to see God's hand in my life.  I want to be a light to those around me, but can't seem to get past the nagging "what ifs" in my head.  "What if" this faith, God, Jesus, church thing is all for nothing?  Am I beating my head against a brick wall?    I go to church  , I sing and I worship  , I attend Bible studies all the while silently pleading  with God to help me see His hand, help me to feel Him.  And I just feel so lost.  I hear things like "Bring it to Jesus" and I can't seem to leave it there.  The troubles are still mine to deal with.  How can I let go? 

[larry2]

Hi christy84065, and welcome to these forums. I will ask first of all if you know without a doubt you've saved and a child of God. It was not until I had that revelation even though I belonged to a church that I was able to grow in my faith.

I'll just leave the following pamphlet links I wrote to give you the opportunity to discern the truth concerning you. Since then God has proved Himself a multitude of times throughout my life, and though many problems occurred He has always been there to hold me up. You seem to be at the point of a dying faith and need a boost, and hopefully your being here is a new beginning whereas God is responsible for bringing you.

I hope the following pamphlet will be a source of revelation to you in Jesus' name.

Salvation with Security - Part One   

http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/theology/salvation-with-security-part-one/msg594337/#msg594337

Salvation with Security - Part Two

http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/theology/salvation-with-security-part-two/msg594338/#msg594338

[bemark]

Do feel his presence?Then go deeper as the understanding you want from the world will not do.It is in acceptance and that is found in him his love for you,,your love for him.The world can fall apart but his love will remain

[bemark]

OK you need to go to a Ho;y Ghost Church to experience him or to unlock the gate within you.

If you got it you don't need to get it because you got it.

If you haven't you need to get around the gates that have got it

There is some who can open up the spirit realm.Some the word,.Figure out what is spirit and truth.

[John S]

Christy - It's unfortunate that you grew up in a "fanatical" denomination. It probably warped your idea of "Christianity".
Don't worry about whether you are "saved", "born again", or any of those nonsense terms. The ONLY thing that you should worry about is behaving in a way that is pleasing to Jesus Christ. TRY to bring your children up to believe in the teachings of Jesus. Pray in private, treat everyone as your equal, including the people that you may not like, and Jesus won't consider you to be faking it. His opinion is all that matters.

[Supplanter]

OK you need to go to a Ho;y Ghost Church to experience him or to unlock the gate within you.

If you got it you don't need to get it because you got it.

If you haven't you need to get around the gates that have got it

There is some who can open up the spirit realm.Some the word,.Figure out what is spirit and truth.

While I think I see what you are saying, it seems to come off as a bit cryptic and exclusive to me, and this poster has already dealt with those who believe they have a "gate" to the spirit realm so I think she needs to get this on here own, just my opinion.

To Christy,

I'm not surprised given the few things you have shared about your religious experience that you struggle with doubts, but just because you aren't having an emotional response doesn't mean you are "faking" it. However, as Larry sai, it all starts with a choice to have a genuine relationship with Jesus. And it is ok to ask questions and seek the truth. I believe God wants that from us. That is how we grow in our understanding of who God really is.  Faith does not have to be blind. Some things we can't understand about God, but many things we can know an I believe we should seek to know those things. So, just keep persevering and I think that you will eventually get past this low spot.

[Supplanter]

Christy - It's unfortunate that you grew up in a "fanatical" denomination. It probably warped your idea of "Christianity".
Don't worry about whether you are "saved", "born again", or any of those nonsense terms. The ONLY thing that you should worry about is behaving in a way that is pleasing to Jesus Christ. TRY to bring your children up to believe in the teachings of Jesus. Pray in private, treat everyone as your equal, including the people that you may not like, and Jesus won't consider you to be faking it. His opinion is all that matters.

Actually, scripture makes it clear that it isn't the way we behave that amounts to anything. It is a relationship with the person of Jesus Christ. Its the relationship, not the behavior. Yes, a genuine loving relationship will result in behaviors that please God, but it goes from the inside out, not the outside in.

[Debbie_55]

Hi Christy and welcome to the forums. You sound like me 15 years ago. Always asking questions, never getting any answers and wondering if I was truly born-again or just going through the emotions. I was going through a time of a lot of self doubt about myself, Jesus, Church and people who called themselves Christians, but condemned others in their sin. I went from Church to Church, reading my Bible and listening to Lord knows how many sermons, but in all reality I was going through the emotion, but not truly knowing of who I worship and praised, questing my own salvation until I quit going to Church all together and just gave up. To make a long story short it's when I gave up seeking answers from people around me that I went directly to Jesus and humbled myself before his throne of grace and just simply asked him to reveal himself to me and wow what an experience that was as Gods Spirit filled me as I laid still before him long and quiet enough to allow him to reveal himself to me and answer all those questions I was asking. It was so beautiful that I found myself begging for the Lord to take me with him right there and then as in his presence it is something that is hard to describe with words, but I wanted to stay in his arms forever as he held me so tight and washed away everything of my past away. My suggestion to you Christy is to find a quiet place that you will not be disturb and can spen all the time you need to just cry out to Jesus until you are done crying out and then be still long enough for him to speak to you and he will, but be patient long enough to hear him.

God bless you and seek his face daily.

[Gallon]

Imo, some people "feel" God more than other people do, so I wouldnt worry about that. As for questioning the faith's realness, I can assure you it's real. I have seen the deaf healed, the blind get sight back, and I've had at least one encounter with a demon. My advice to you, if you want to check the Bible's validity, would be for you to start looking up the historical facts on Jesus having existed, about the Old Testament having existed before Jesus did, and really looking at Jesus' commandments and seeing if they make sense to you (why is adultery harmful? why is stealing harmful? etc). This might help to provide some factual framework of God's existence and worthwhileness. If you want some testimonies on miracles/healings, I would suggest checking out the testimonies that are coming from Bethel Church in Redding, California, as they have doctor-documented healings taking place fairly regularly.

Also, I rarely "feel" God's presence. I know other people who get depressed if they don't think they have felt God's presence in a while. But this may simply be God working in different ways with different people, because different people have different needs. I get by fine with growing in my understanding in God and seeing why God's ways make sense (and having prayed for and seen a healing take place helps). I'm not saying God doesn't want you to feel His presence, because when we are in Heaven, we all will; but perhaps you are one of the people who might be better off connecting with God in non-subjective (wooshy gooshy) ways. Or perhaps checking out a couple of different churches might allow you to see if there seems to be more presence somewhere else. Though always Truth > Presence. Even the devil can make wooshy gooshy feelings, but the devil can't change the Truth (only try to pervert it).

[Janice]

Imo, your faith is being developed. Faith is a firmly held belief in that which is not "provable." If you were to "feel" God all the time, your belief would be "proved" by your feelings. But when you do not "feel" God, you then have the choice of whether to take God at his Word without the proof, or not. I have chosen to believe that God's Word is truth whether I feel it or not and whether we can prove it or not, and it sounds to me like you are afforded this same opportunity of deliberately choosing Jesus based on his character (truth) rather than on anything we can subjectively experience. I call it a crisis of faith, since it is usually circumstances that cause me to question my own decision sometimes, but I always come back to knowing that God is truth.

[Debrah]

John S: "Don't worry about whether you are "saved", "born again", or any of those nonsense terms"
-----------

please what ever you do do not listen to this false teaching given by John

Larry gave you great advice, please go over his pamphlets.

We can go through desert periods with God, it could be a testing of your faith.

[TouchingTestimony]

I grew up in a very religious household.  My father converted to a, let's just say, fanatical form of religion when I was around 8 and he brought me in when I was about 15.  I married there and was completely sold on the religion and trusted the leaders and teachers figuring they had been there done that, read that book and was convinced they had the "only true religion" and pittied everyone else in the world for not having the truth.  A few years back a bombshell exposed the lies I was being fed and I lost my religion and very hurt and confused for three years.  About a year and a half ago I came to a point where my boys were growing up without God and I had to do something.  God brought me to a local non denominational church where I was welcomed in and have loved it ever since.  Lately I have been frustrated at the feeling that I am "faking it" and not really feeling it.  I read the Bible and I think about God, the Gospel all the time just about.  And I just don't know why I still struggle and question the validity of it all!  Why can't I just accept it as truth and get on with it?  I question if prayer is really useful.  I struggle to see God's hand in my life.  I want to be a light to those around me, but can't seem to get past the nagging "what ifs" in my head.  "What if" this faith, God, Jesus, church thing is all for nothing?  Am I beating my head against a brick wall?    I go to church  , I sing and I worship  , I attend Bible studies all the while silently pleading  with God to help me see His hand, help me to feel Him.  And I just feel so lost.  I hear things like "Bring it to Jesus" and I can't seem to leave it there.  The troubles are still mine to deal with.  How can I let go? 

wow, in quite a place you are. be good, do good, and the rest will automatically follow 

[Akaroa]

I grew up in a very religious household.  My father converted to a, let's just say, fanatical form of religion when I was around 8 and he brought me in when I was about 15.  I married there and was completely sold on the religion and trusted the leaders and teachers figuring they had been there done that, read that book and was convinced they had the "only true religion" and pittied everyone else in the world for not having the truth.  A few years back a bombshell exposed the lies I was being fed and I lost my religion and very hurt and confused for three years.  About a year and a half ago I came to a point where my boys were growing up without God and I had to do something.  God brought me to a local non denominational church where I was welcomed in and have loved it ever since.  Lately I have been frustrated at the feeling that I am "faking it" and not really feeling it.  I read the Bible and I think about God, the Gospel all the time just about.  And I just don't know why I still struggle and question the validity of it all!  Why can't I just accept it as truth and get on with it?  I question if prayer is really useful.  I struggle to see God's hand in my life.  I want to be a light to those around me, but can't seem to get past the nagging "what ifs" in my head.  "What if" this faith, God, Jesus, church thing is all for nothing?  Am I beating my head against a brick wall?    I go to church  , I sing and I worship  , I attend Bible studies all the while silently pleading  with God to help me see His hand, help me to feel Him.  And I just feel so lost.  I hear things like "Bring it to Jesus" and I can't seem to leave it there.  The troubles are still mine to deal with.  How can I let go? 

Really awesome that you care enough about your faith to share this. That's brilliant! Through all the waftings of church and people, advice and books is an unchanging thing - that Jesus is right beside you and walking with you with a heart pounding full of love for you. There is no need to fear or to strive. He promisies that as you draw near to him, he will draw near to you. Remember that story in 1 Kings 19:11? God wasn't in the earthquake or the fire but in the whisper. While all the activity and voice wash over you, there is a whisper to listen for and it is more significant than the loudest of noises. And spoke in a whisper to Elijah because it was meant only for him to hear. Have fun tuning out the world and tuning toward him.

[TouchingTestimony]

deep breathing and maybe some yoga, try.

[Nevertheless]

"What if" this faith, God, Jesus, church thing is all for nothing? 

I think it might help a bit if you really looked at this question. It's the kind of thing people say, but don't take seriously.

What if it is all for nothing? What if the Bible is nothing more than fairy tales? What if you have been duped? What would you have lost?


Once you have faced and answered those questions you should also ask their counterparts. What if it isn't for nothing? What if the Bible is the actual word of God? What if it's all true, and you don't believe it? What would you have lost?