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Author Topic: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?  (Read 14912 times)

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Offline lonegreywolf20

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Before I met my wife I didn't go to church, but after meeting her I started going. I gave her church a try for several months, but I felt uncomfortable there. The things that were happening, such as talking in tongue, people hitting there knees crying for no apparent reason and the pastor saying that's them taking people's pain away, and people after being prayed over, passing out, were just too much for me.

The stuff that happens there makes me feel like I should be running away.

So I thought maybe we should find our own church, one that we are both able to attend. We're both non-denominational.

We started going to a church and she did like it, but lately we have been arguing because I feel that her coming to church with me and then going to her own church is wrong. We can't call the church we both go to our own church if she continues to go to her own. she says the reason why she still goes to her own is because she doesn't feel in her heart like she's hearing god speak to her at the new church. So she goes to hers for that reason.

To me I feel as though she just doesn't want to ever leave her church. She says she wants to find a church that we can call home, but goes and does something different.

Our arguments have become pretty heated over this. So much so that she stated she was done with our marriage last night because of some of the things that I said that hurt her. I just feel so strongly that we should be going to the same church, that my anger starts to take over.

To me if we don't call a church our own, then our marriage isn't whole, as when you become married you're supposed to be one flesh. I don't see that going to two separate churches.


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Offline yesult

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2010, 09:57:22 AM »
lgw - your wife has her own walk with God the same as you do. To force her to do what you think is spiritually right is standing between her and God. You simply have no right to do that.

What if you're wrong - then she suffers spiritually. What's she supposed to say to God when she stands before his throne one day. 'Oh, yes, my spiritual life was hindered and suppressed but that was entirely his fault' - and point at you? What's God going to say to that?

Blame you, or her for putting you before Him?

She's his ultimatly, the same way that you are, and both of you are responsible individually for your own walk with him.

What if she's wrong? Then you suffer if you do what she does for the sake of 'being together'.

God comes first, period, and always has to. That's christianity. (Real) christianity.

When we put another human being before God then we've just created an idol, whether we meant to or not.

You have no right to attack your wife over her spiritual choices. Nor she, you. Pray and love and realise that God is God. We never can be.

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2010, 09:57:22 AM »

Offline lonegreywolf20

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2010, 10:17:14 AM »
So you're saying that we should be going to separate churches?

I see what you're saying, but why would God wants us going to separate churches? We have only been married for 3 months, so I am still new to this whole Christianity thing.

Also, I feel the pull of the holy spirit in that we need to find our own church to go to.

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2010, 10:17:14 AM »

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2010, 10:28:13 AM »
So you're saying that we should be going to separate churches?

I see what you're saying, but why would God wants us going to separate churches? We have only been married for 3 months, so I am still new to this whole Christianity thing.

Also, I feel the pull of the holy spirit in that we need to find our own church to go to.

It would of been nice, if you would of approched this subject prior to marraige...regardless here are a couple thoughts.

Church is only a building...however, what you do together with your spiritual life is up to you.

Have daily devotions and prayer time with you new wife...get a good Christian book and read it together; underline the important things to each of you...and discuss.

Most important...is that you are both growing in hope, faith and love; through our Savior Jesus Christ.

Growing apart because of a church is wrong...growing together in Jesus and His love is good...that is becoming one in Him.

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2010, 10:28:13 AM »
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Offline lonegreywolf20

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2010, 10:32:28 AM »


So you're saying that we should be going to separate churches?

I see what you're saying, but why would God wants us going to separate churches? We have only been married for 3 months, so I am still new to this whole Christianity thing.

Also, I feel the pull of the holy spirit in that we need to find our own church to go to.

It would of been nice, if you would of approched this subject prior to marraige...regardless here are a couple thoughts.

Church is only a building...however, what you do together with your spiritual life is up to you.

Have daily devotions and prayer time with you new wife...get a good Christian book and read it together; underline the important things to each of you...and discuss.

Most important...is that you are both growing in hope, faith and love; through our Savior Jesus Christ.

Growing apart because of a church is wrong...growing together in Jesus and His love is good...that is becoming one in Him.

We were told by her Pastor that we needed to be married, that was within the first month of us dating. After that, 3 other people, a prophet, and 2 Evangelists told us that we were meant to be together. We married 8 months after meeting.

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2010, 10:32:28 AM »



Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2010, 10:37:15 AM »


So you're saying that we should be going to separate churches?

I see what you're saying, but why would God wants us going to separate churches? We have only been married for 3 months, so I am still new to this whole Christianity thing.

Also, I feel the pull of the holy spirit in that we need to find our own church to go to.

It would of been nice, if you would of approched this subject prior to marraige...regardless here are a couple thoughts.

Church is only a building...however, what you do together with your spiritual life is up to you.

Have daily devotions and prayer time with you new wife...get a good Christian book and read it together; underline the important things to each of you...and discuss.

Most important...is that you are both growing in hope, faith and love; through our Savior Jesus Christ.

Growing apart because of a church is wrong...growing together in Jesus and His love is good...that is becoming one in Him.

We were told by her Pastor that we needed to be married, that was within the first month of us dating. After that, 3 other people, a prophet, and 2 Evangelists told us that we were meant to be together. We married 8 months after meeting.

As you two grow in Jesus...through devotions & prayer; He will bring you to a place of worship that will meet both of your needs.  Remember...love is patient; use this time to grow together in Him.  Church does not make the marriage...His love does...read 1Cor. 13, and live that. 

Offline lonegreywolf20

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2010, 10:44:46 AM »


So you're saying that we should be going to separate churches?

I see what you're saying, but why would God wants us going to separate churches? We have only been married for 3 months, so I am still new to this whole Christianity thing.

Also, I feel the pull of the holy spirit in that we need to find our own church to go to.

It would of been nice, if you would of approched this subject prior to marraige...regardless here are a couple thoughts.

Church is only a building...however, what you do together with your spiritual life is up to you.

Have daily devotions and prayer time with you new wife...get a good Christian book and read it together; underline the important things to each of you...and discuss.

Most important...is that you are both growing in hope, faith and love; through our Savior Jesus Christ.

Growing apart because of a church is wrong...growing together in Jesus and His love is good...that is becoming one in Him.

We were told by her Pastor that we needed to be married, that was within the first month of us dating. After that, 3 other people, a prophet, and 2 Evangelists told us that we were meant to be together. We married 8 months after meeting.

As you two grow in Jesus...through devotions & prayer; He will bring you to a place of worship that will meet both of your needs.  Remember...love is patient; use this time to grow together in Him.  Church does not make the marriage...His love does...read 1Cor. 13, and live that. 

Are there any free online devotional sites for married couples on the internet? By that I mean something that can send us somethign in email each day to use for a devotional?

Maybe I'm explaining it wrong.

Right now finances are tight and going and getting a book from the store isn't something we may be able to do.

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2010, 10:54:43 AM »
Here is a good site with devotionals...I have never used these; in that my girlfriend and I have bought a number of books and read them together.

http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/?gclid=CPO2sdrakKECFR49gwodly_dNQ

Hope this helps!

Offline water

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2010, 12:32:24 PM »
Before I met my wife I didn't go to church, but after meeting her I started going. I gave her church a try for several months, but I felt uncomfortable there. The things that were happening, such as talking in tongue, people hitting there knees crying for no apparent reason and the pastor saying that's them taking people's pain away, and people after being prayed over, passing out, were just too much for me.

The stuff that happens there makes me feel like I should be running away.

So I thought maybe we should find our own church, one that we are both able to attend. We're both non-denominational.

We started going to a church and she did like it, but lately we have been arguing because I feel that her coming to church with me and then going to her own church is wrong. We can't call the church we both go to our own church if she continues to go to her own. she says the reason why she still goes to her own is because she doesn't feel in her heart like she's hearing god speak to her at the new church. So she goes to hers for that reason.

To me I feel as though she just doesn't want to ever leave her church. She says she wants to find a church that we can call home, but goes and does something different.

Our arguments have become pretty heated over this. So much so that she stated she was done with our marriage last night because of some of the things that I said that hurt her. I just feel so strongly that we should be going to the same church, that my anger starts to take over.

To me if we don't call a church our own, then our marriage isn't whole, as when you become married you're supposed to be one flesh. I don't see that going to two separate churches.



I have not read any of the other posts yet, but I have to say that I believe the two of you need to find some Christian marriage counseling ASAP.

If she can say the marriage is over, then there are issues here much greater than where the two of you attend church.

I will be praying for the two of you, Bob~

Offline chosenone

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2010, 02:00:19 PM »
I think it is a really bad idea, but I do know three couples who do this. I wouldnt do it and I feel strongly that once we are married we need to go to the same family church. If we disagreed I think we would both pray and ask God to make it clear what to do, but I hope that I would be gracious enough to go where my husband felt God wanted us to go, if we still disagreed.

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2010, 02:00:19 PM »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2010, 02:07:07 PM »


So you're saying that we should be going to separate churches?

I see what you're saying, but why would God wants us going to separate churches? We have only been married for 3 months, so I am still new to this whole Christianity thing.

Also, I feel the pull of the holy spirit in that we need to find our own church to go to.

It would of been nice, if you would of approched this subject prior to marraige...regardless here are a couple thoughts.

Church is only a building...however, what you do together with your spiritual life is up to you.

Have daily devotions and prayer time with you new wife...get a good Christian book and read it together; underline the important things to each of you...and discuss.

Most important...is that you are both growing in hope, faith and love; through our Savior Jesus Christ.

Growing apart because of a church is wrong...growing together in Jesus and His love is good...that is becoming one in Him.

We were told by her Pastor that we needed to be married, that was within the first month of us dating. After that, 3 other people, a prophet, and 2 Evangelists told us that we were meant to be together. We married 8 months after meeting.

 

 If I were you I definately NOT go to the church of the pastor that told you you needed to get married when you had only just started going out. That was so wrong of him and I havent a clue why you thought you had to do what he said.
It doesnt matter to me how many people tell me that something is right, it is whether God is telling me that matters. I hope that you both had the OK from God before marrying., It deeply concerne me  that she is already talking about the marriage ending after three months, even if it was done in anger.

I do think you need help to sort this out, something isnt right.

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2010, 02:24:54 PM »
 It is not ideal, and sounds like your wife needs in a healthy well balanced church, least she fall away.

Offline Bon Voyage

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2010, 04:31:05 PM »
A house divided against itself will fall.

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2010, 04:40:27 PM »
 I would not want to go without my mate to church, there can be many problems that develop.

ex cathedra

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Re: Is it wrong for a husband and wife to go to two separate churches?
« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2010, 09:20:08 PM »
 
Before I met my wife I didn't go to church, but after meeting her I started going. I gave her church a try for several months, but I felt uncomfortable there. The things that were happening, such as talking in tongue, people hitting there knees crying for no apparent reason and the pastor saying that's them taking people's pain away, and people after being prayed over, passing out, were just too much for me.

The stuff that happens there makes me feel like I should be running away.

So I thought maybe we should find our own church, one that we are both able to attend. We're both non-denominational.

We started going to a church and she did like it, but lately we have been arguing because I feel that her coming to church with me and then going to her own church is wrong. We can't call the church we both go to our own church if she continues to go to her own. she says the reason why she still goes to her own is because she doesn't feel in her heart like she's hearing god speak to her at the new church. So she goes to hers for that reason.

To me I feel as though she just doesn't want to ever leave her church. She says she wants to find a church that we can call home, but goes and does something different.

Our arguments have become pretty heated over this. So much so that she stated she was done with our marriage last night because of some of the things that I said that hurt her. I just feel so strongly that we should be going to the same church, that my anger starts to take over.

To me if we don't call a church our own, then our marriage isn't whole, as when you become married you're supposed to be one flesh. I don't see that going to two separate churches.





sounds like you both need a change
Why dont you both take a  bible information course in  a church that PRIMARY Goal is teaching you the most important FACT OF CHRISTIANITY Christ crucified and Christ risen FOR Your justification.



                     a church the world over that has agreement in their christian beliefs where ever you two go.

you and your wife both  can check it out
ask the pastors some questions .


http:// www.wels.net


todays devotion

http://www.wels.net/spiritual-help/daily-devotion/2010-04/easy-choice-april-16-2010


 true crosswalks walks has lots of devotions some really good ones 

 
but wels always has "Jesus" and what he has won and done for you guys in theirs.

        ::smile::










 





 






« Last Edit: April 18, 2010, 09:53:01 PM by ex cathedra »