Mental Affair

[NJORDON]

I've been married for almost 10 yrs., but having a mental affair with a much younger single man in my church, who is well versed in the bible and physically attractive to me. What do I do?

[Lively Stone]

If he is serious about his relationship with Jesus Christ, and you are as well----leave him alone.

[johndoo]

Many people call these emotional affairs and they can be one-sided or just involve infatuation.

First, you may benefit from personal and marriage counseling.  Something about you or your marriage is contributing to this problem and a counselor can help you figure it out. 

Second, avoid this person.  God may call you to change to a different church.  Don't socialize with him if you can avoid it.  If you tend to be an obsessive person, the counselor can help you break the cycle of thinking about him.

See the good in your husband.  Make a list of his good qualities and foster a better relationship with him.

See the bad in the single guy.  He is single for a reason. 

[TJW]

This is best illustrated by what happens to bacteria.

If you feed it, it grows and multiplies.

If you starve it, it dies.

God may call you to change to a different church.

I want to take the word "may" out of that sentence entirely.  "May" is the DEVIL'S GROUND.  satan uses "God may call" to keep utter millions of believers from obeying the great commission, and into years and decades of stagnation and inactivity.   Rich, fruitful ministries are stopped and stagnated because people are "waiting on God".

In your case, satan will use "God may call" to destroy your marriage from the inside out.

I agree with Brother Stanley on this, when he says 95% of everything God has ever said, or is ever going to say, to man, has already been said in the bible.

Please, whatever you do, don't "wait on God" on this one.  God has given His "call" ALREADY in His word.  He "calls" us to have fellowship with other believers, and He "calls" us to the vows we made to "forsake all others".   This is excruciatingly simple.  Leave.  NOW.  Go to another church.  NOW.  Do not go back where that guy is.  EVER.  Stop thinking about that guy.  TODAY.  Start thinking about your husband, and what it will do to him when he finds out about your affair.  THIS MINUTE.

[chosenone]

     

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TJW said
This is best illustrated by what happens to bacteria.

If you feed it, it grows and multiplies.

If you starve it, it dies.

Wise words indeed TJW.

NJORDAN, I think you know what you need to do. Have NO contact at all, keep right away from him, stop yourself from thinking about him, give thanks for your husband every day, and take every thought captive. Satan is trying to lure you into an affair, and destroy your marriage, do you want him to win or not? Its your decision. You are not free to have a relationship with a single man, he is not free to have a relationship with a married lady. Do you do the right thing or the wrong one?

[MeMyself]

Many people call these emotional affairs and they can be one-sided or just involve infatuation.

First, you may benefit from personal and marriage counseling.  Something about you or your marriage is contributing to this problem and a counselor can help you figure it out.  

Second, avoid this person.  God may call you to change to a different church.  Don't socialize with him if you can avoid it.  If you tend to be an obsessive person, the counselor can help you break the cycle of thinking about him.

See the good in your husband.  Make a list of his good qualities and foster a better relationship with him.

See the bad in the single guy.  He is single for a reason.  

Yup.

James 4:7 Submit to God, resist the Devil and he will flee from you
James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

Resist the temptation put in place by Satan who has found an inch to try to squeeze through to devour you.  Remember that God has prepared a way of escape and RUN through it!  Avoid this man at all cost, as much as it depends upon you! PRAY that God will remove your attraction for him and replace it with one for your husband.
Persue your man...get away, go on a date, laugh together, remember...

[DaveW]

See the bad in the single guy.  He is single for a reason. 

That is pretty presumptuous. I have known plenty of great single guys in their 30s, even one into his 50s.

Just had not met the right lady yet.

[NowFound]

Three helpful scriptural references.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13


Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
1 Peter 5:8-9


Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says
James 1:22

[MeMyself]

See the bad in the single guy.  He is single for a reason. 

That is pretty presumptuous. I have known plenty of great single guys in their 30s, even one into his 50s.

Just had not met the right lady yet.

Thats true..I agree with the rest of the post though. 

[kensington]

I find it odd that you used the word "affair" and then had to ask what to do.

If you have been married 10 years, you are probably old enough to know that answer to that. Repent and remove yourself.